Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Perfect is boring!

Big Pappy

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In an older film, starring Jim Belushi and Rob Lowe, called "About Last Night" this dialog took place.

Jim : [to Rob] "Girls don't want a guy like you. You make them feel dumpy. They want a guy like me."

Rob: " A neanderthal type that sweats a lot? "

I've always felt that was true. I've always pictured myself as a neanderthal type that sweat a lot.

Pooks post brings to mind that we must remember that many women suffer from low self esteem. If we're too high on the ladder, many girls just don't feel that they'll measure up.

I put myself on paper.

Drives a new car.
Owns a house.
Owns part of a bar.
Dresses well.
Gainfully employed by the university.
fairly decent looking
Funny
Articulate
Really fun at parties
Really fun.

I just don't know many girls that measure up to that. Most are constantly visiting the bar, paying rent, etc.

So, I show my humanity by drinking myself silly whenever I don't have to wake up too early. Not much more human than that.
 

rhsarrow17

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Of the many Prodigious Pook Posts for Pubsecent Posterity, this one influenced me the most.

I've been sitting here for 10 seconds after reading that, and already I KNOW that keeping in mind "perfect is boring" will give me a good day tomorrow.

thank you Pook.
 

Drex

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I have not read all of the replies but I think, Pook, that your definition of "perfect" is different from mine.

I dont think, to everyone (women), perfection is good looks, money and power. I think perfection is more than just that, it's the ability to make a woman HAPPY, to have FUN with her, to NOT bore her.

I spent the summer with a 30 y/o with 2 kids, I'm only 23. I did not have the money to support a family or a powerful job, but what I did do was have a BLAST with her and her kids. We (the 4 of us mostly) had fun all summer and to her, I WAS perfection. She always told me how perfect I was....her husband (seperated) on the other hand, made plenty of money, had a somewhat powerful position in the company he worked for etc, yet she couldnt stand him. He was far from perfect.

I guess maybe what you are saying is that the initial attraction to a woman is good looks, power and money, but for a meaningful relationship those 3 things are not nearly as important as a personality.

I will always strive to be as perfect as I can be, not just with looks or finances but more importantly, with personality. Having everything you described plus a great, fun personality is the TRUE perfection and I dont see anything wrong with striving for that.
 

Wonderbread166

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Perfection is unattainable

Perfection... what is it? I'd say it's the ideal we hold, the ideal of making no mistakes, of being absolutely flawless. But flawlessness simply can't and won't happen. So, trying to be perfect creates an obvious problem..

Here's the real reason that perfect is boring. It's just occurred to me that the source of Pook's point isn't that perfect is boring, it's that perfect is unattainable.

If you hold ideals that can't be accomplished, you'll never be happy with yourself. Also, you'll be far too afraid to make mistakes to do anything fun or out of the ordinary or to innovate.... as a result, you'll come off as boring.
 

I-am-someone

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Oh my god... I'm perfect!
Really, I am!
I have imperfections so I'm perfect :D

Good post man, suddenly made me look at the comment a woman gave me a while ago completely differently.
She said "You know, you're a very strange person..." and I was thrown completely off my game for half a second and started talking about her being stranger than I was. Now, however, I realize that she meant I was being interesting, different and in essence was giving me a compliment.


Last weekend I turned into what you could probably consider a Don Juan. I had three girls constantly hanging around me, I was talking to them, teasing them and they were completely dazzled by my personality. I then walked into a diner with about 8 complete geeks whom I love and respect greatly mostly because they are all theirselves and don't care what the rest of the world thinks. I sat down, and for some reason there were like 5 girls looking at me as I entered, one of them actually getting called back into attention by her boyfriend as I got eyecontact with her. The reason for this (I think) was because I was being completely myself, I am attractive and most of all, I was different from all the other people in that room yet being myself.
I had dirty clothes, I was walking there with the strangest people you could ever meet. I was actually getting food offered to me for free by several guys and girls I had never seen before.

However, as this week began, I had been thinking "Okay, so I can do that again whenever I want to, just be fun". Then, yesterday night I realised I was completely wrong about that. The key to having succes wasn't just that.
I had to focus on myself. The fun had to come from within me, which I could only achieve through being myself in all my glory.
That, combined with good looks is what I think made me all powerful that night. I really was all powerful when I think back to it - I even managed to get the geeks who normally hated people like me to be my pals :D.


I'm not sure if any of you know if my reasoning is flawd here, I'm figuring this stuff out on my own because most of the stuff I see on here is more or less focused on tricks and not so much on focusing on your own personality (which I realize is very hard to bring across using just words).
 

skeeloo

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Originally posted by Big Pappy
In an older film, starring Jim Belushi and Rob Lowe, called "About Last Night" this dialog took place.

Jim : [to Rob] "Girls don't want a guy like you. You make them feel dumpy. They want a guy like me."

Rob: " A neanderthal type that sweats a lot? "

I've always felt that was true. I've always pictured myself as a neanderthal type that sweat a lot.

Pooks post brings to mind that we must remember that many women suffer from low self esteem. If we're too high on the ladder, many girls just don't feel that they'll measure up.

I put myself on paper.

Drives a new car.
Owns a house.
Owns part of a bar.
Dresses well.
Gainfully employed by the university.
fairly decent looking
Funny
Articulate
Really fun at parties
Really fun.

I just don't know many girls that measure up to that. Most are constantly visiting the bar, paying rent, etc.

So, I show my humanity by drinking myself silly whenever I don't have to wake up too early. Not much more human than that.
.

i agree with this.
 

pyrez2k

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Wow, truely inspiring considering what I've been dealing with lately. I've recently been reflecting on myself and my relationships and though I've now become popular, attractive, and socially superior to many people, I've been tormented by the fact that these new relationships seem hollow and that I put more energy into appearing socially superior and together than I do actually getting to know these people on a human level. I suppose I've taken the "leave them wanting more" approach to too much of an extreme which has left me detached from everyone around me. And though I've been getting more women than ever interested in me, I've felt absolutely nothing for them, they seem boring and simply a means for me to get myself off. It has left me feeling a lack of true human connection and interaction. I've found myself recently trying to revert a bit to my AFC self in order to reclaim that lost part of myself. It makes you wonder though about just how much we should 'fake it until we make it', when we end up faking it so much that we lose our intrinstic and quirky personality traits that set us apart from others. I suppose it's just another case of balance being the key. One of the movies that got me reflecting on this is Joe Somebody, a good movie, though I'm still trying to discern if its message has merit or if its just another case of Hollywood mind-washing, feel-good drivel.
 

djbr

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Trying to become perfect is what drive almost all of the nice guys to this page. It is the essence of the nice guy: play it safe. Mistake-free.

Think about it.
 

I_Only_Live_Once

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"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything" --Win Borden

"Don't wait. The time will never be just right." --Napoleon Hill

"I don't trust any bastard who doesn't drink. People who don't drink are afraid of revealing themselves." -Humphrey Bogart

"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely." - Erma Bombeck
 

thederekeffect1

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I see a lot of guys posting in this topic and saying that pook here is wrong and that you need to be perfect. Well, pook, you're absolutely right.

And sense I love telling storys, here's a story:

About a month or two ago, I noticed that my success with women was slowly decreasing. Holy ****! To the analysis board! I say to myself. It didn't take me long to realize why.

I had a routine. Same approach everytime. I would go to the weightroom and sit at a certain machine. I would turn to the woman next to me and say "How do you use this? I've never used this machine before". Truth is, I used the same machine 100 times over and over again. She was only the 100th person to show me how to use it. Anyway, she sits back down in the machine next to me. Talks to me about herself, her boyfriend, I say some stupid comment to make myself look like im 20 times better than her boyfriend, blah blah blah. phone number.

My perfect approach just got so boring. It just felt like routine. It felt like something I had to do to get her into bed. And then it just stopped working.

When I first started, it was fun. But then, it was just the same thing. Over and over. And it just wasn't working anymore. Women started picking up on it. It was just my little game to get them to sleep with me. Women picked up on my boredom. My fake smile. My almost scripted conversations with them.

Then one day, I got to the point where I didn't want to do it anymore. Right in the conversation with the woman. She starts talking about her boyfriend. I listen. She asks me what I think about it and I just can't take it anymore. I say to her, "this is the part where I put down your boyfriend, tell you how a real man would treat you, imply that I'm the one you really want, tell you that I have to go, and get your phone number. I'm pretty sure asking for a phone number right now would sound stupid so here's mine." She laughs and says, "you do this often?". I smile and I say, "everyday". She smiles at me and says, "that's kind of cute". I'm thinking, "What the hell? I just admitted that I was going to play you". I don't really say anything at this point. I'm amazed that she didn't slap me or something. I just smile at her and shrug.

She calls me the next day and tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend. I ask her why and she says "I found better". She comes over later on that night, we talk for awhile, and she wakes up next to me naked the next morning.

The first thing she says that morning, "I guess this is the point where you tell me never to call you again?". I say, "something like that". She says, "this is where I call you an ******* and leave". She leaves.

I go to the gym the next morning. Still a little bit confused. And I sit at my normal machine waiting for the next woman to sit next to me. Planning on doing my daily routine.

She sits next to me. She says, "I couldn't stop thinking about you after I left". I smile and I say, "that happens a lot". I try to get rid of her. I look around for other women. She says, "I couldn't stop thinking about how honest you were". I say, "it was just one night. A break from your lousy boyfriend. He needs you". She lowers her head and says, "that's the problem". She says, "I really want to see you again". She says, "I never gave you my phone number". She writes it on my hand and leaves.

I never called her. I only wanted sex. She wanted something more. What she wanted, I'd be terrible at. I'd cheat on her all the time. I don't trust women. But she called me all the time. I'd talk to her for 5 min. and then make up an excuse to leave. The more I did she'd just keep getting more crazy over me.

My point is, I took a chance. When everything stopped working, I broke out of my normal/perfect routine. My perfect way of doing things. I did something completely different and it worked out completely better than I imagined.

Perfect got boring. So, I try something new all the time now. Even while I'm at the weightroom. Not just for them but for me. I take a chance and sometimes I'll even do something an AFC will do to see if I can make it work for me.

And I don't care if I make a mistake. Because the one time that I was willing to make a mistake, the one time that it SHOULD have been a mistake (come on! I told her straight out I was going to play her), it worked even better than my perfect way.
 

MVP

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This post really hit me. I was pushing myself to be too "ideal" and became boring.
 

THE_ADDMAN

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it isnt about perfect... its about boring.

I have a saying "I never want to be perfect, because once I am perfect, I cant improve anymore"


keep learning and being interesting.

share new experiences with her. go to a museum and look at something you 2 have never learned about. keep learning, keep improving, keep being interesting.

I think it said in "how to think like Leonardo Da Vinci" (excellent book by the way, u guys go check it out)
to "always take the mindset of the student"

there is enough knowledge and experiences to fill a lifetime. use your imagination and you will never be boring
 

Sir Juanalot

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quange86 said:
I think what Pook is trying to say here is this,

You don't have to be perfect or pretend to be when it comes to seducing women.
However, this does mean that you shouldnt strive for improvement.

There is a fine line between being really good at something and pretense.
I think also, it means that you can strive for self improvement, but if it becomes a consuming obsession i.e. Gym 7 days a week, wont eat anything fried or have a beer or 2 now and then, you just seem odd.
 

Nighthawk

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Women fancy issue-heavy Batman, not perfect boy scout Superman. And it's not just the car.
 

Radninja

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Pook said:
Pity those who want the perfect life! Break me, tear me apart, let me be beaten and altered by life, let my life be touched and touch in return for I will be Human, for there is no reason on earth to be scared of yourself.
This short film reminded me of what Pook said, and brilliantly illustrated how we can overcome our self-imposed limits:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7PC1Vx47II

Everyone should watch it.
 

fertileTurtle

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You have seen the face of God. Go forth and multiply.
 

f283000

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perfect is boring = women love drama

I would have a lot of money if I could have a dollar for everytime I overheard women talk about their relationship drama. I wondered "if they have so much drama with their bfs why do they stay with those guys."

Of course I wish i realized sooner that WOMEN LOVE DRAMA. Logic would dictate women would go for the opposite but then again women are illogical creatures. Logic would dictate women would go for men that are nice, gentle, respectful and are relatively drama free.

Women need drama, it's an emotional fix they get. They love to argue, they love to hold grudges, call their girlfriends on the phone, stirr up ____ and rumours. As sick as it sounds women get their fix with drama.

They are sick creatures when you think about it.
 

Radninja

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f283000 said:
perfect is boring = women love drama...

They are sick creatures when you think about it.
You are missing the point here. We as humans strive on seeking and expanding, on constant change and the thrill and expectation of it. Men are better suited for initiating this change, women are better at receiving, appropriating, and ruminating about it. Don't be misogynistic, but try to see male and female behavior in terms of the bigger picture.
 
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