On Respect

[The Wiz]

While so many guys on this board go on and on about confidence, I believe that respect is just as important, and is seriously overlooked.

There are basically three types of respect:
- The respect you get from others
- The respect you give others
- Self-respect

All of these types of respect must be earned. Give respect where respect is due, but no good can ever come of undeserved respect. (If you don;t believe me, take a good look at the current "leader of the free world".)

Self-respect is probably the most important of the three, because you should never give anyone else more respect than you have for yourself. Even this must be earned. If you have no reason to respect yourself, than you will have no self respect. Go out and improve yourself - take up a hobby, work out, volunteer in your community, do sports, improve your mind, whatever you feel you need to do to eliminate your shortcomings.

The respect which you get from others is closely tied to your self respect. Others will respect you for basically the same reasons you respect yourself, so self-improvement is even more important. Remembering that respect must be earned, don't go around treating others like sh|t. Nobody will have any respect for you, and being an ass just means that you have no self-respect and try to make up for it by pushing others around.

The respect that you give others is also very important; this will directly affect all of your personal, professional, and intimate relationships (I'll just be talking about the latter, but everything here applies to all three). Remember that this respect must also be earned.

The most important rule to live by is that you should never, ever give anyone else more respect than you have for yourself. If you have more respect for a girl than for yourself, than you are basically saying that you feel you are not worthy of her respect. Consequently, you will find yourself, like Rodney Dangerfield, to be getting no respect. If a girl doesn't respect you, she will have no qualms about using you and treating you like sh|t.

If, through no fault of your own, your girl doesn't respect you, then you should show her no respect in return. If she does something flagrantly disrespectful - e.g, talking sh|t about you to her friends, flirting with other guys in front of you, ignoring you, disrespecting you in front of your friends, cheating, etc. - you need to show her IMMEDIATELY that this kind of behavior absolutely WILL NOT be tolerated. If this necessitates dumping her sorry ass, so be it. Showing any tolerance for disrespect at all will irrevocably set the tone of your relationship in a way most decidedly detrimental to yourself, and your girl will continue to walk all over you.

The only way to have a fulfilling relationship is if you respect yourself, your girl respects you, and you return her respect in kind. Anything less is unacceptable.

 

[Deagleclaw]

Hey Dude,

The most important thing about respect is that you should command it of others. If someone is showing a lack of respect for you, you cannot sit by and "chuckle". You should be a commanding presence of authority, knowledge and power at all times.

Deagleclaw out

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No matter what comes, walk like a man. - Al Lan Mandragoran (Wheel of Time)

 

[Survivor]

Here are two threads I posted a few months ago on this same topic.
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000379.html
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/004965.html

 

[DJ]

Good post Wiz I feel I am one of the dudes that goes on about confidence, but I also feel that respect is a biggie. Next time I go on ranting about confidence I will through in some respect too.

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I stole this from maranathaman and I urge you to steal it from me.
"Please remember to use the "SEARCH" function in this forum on the topic you have questions about before asking, because it most likely has been answered already! Thank- you"

People who have stolen my signature...

•Patroclus82•

I encourage you all to steal the signature that I stole so I can add you to the list of theives. Thank-you

 

[Deagleclaw]

A little humor on respect:

DO NOT DO THIS: I REPEAT DO NOT DO THIS:

Woman: Will you respect me in the morning?
Guy: I don't respect you now, why would I respect you in the morning?

Deagleclaw out

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No matter what comes, walk like a man. - Al Lan Mandragoran (Wheel of Time)

 

[I-am-someone]

Wow...
This is something people really shouldn't forget.
I have to "babysit" my grandfather tomorrow and I'm intent on having a good chat with him. I'm going to show him the respect he deserves, which is, after the things he has done lately, almost none. But I'm going to lecture him on respect towards his children and towards the world, as well as attempt at making him realize that he has only a short while to live and that it had better be good, otherwise he is going to die and be remembered an old, lieing bastard.

Some background information:
After having convinced everybody around him that he was going to die and then having to hear from the doctor that he is in no real danger whatsoever pretty much makes me lose respect for him.
He's the biggest AFC you will ever meet - he yearns for attention and will use the little power he has over his children extremely abusively to the extent at which my mother decided to start ignoring most of his calls because they are all about wanting attention, but none are as big as he makes them out to be.

Again, superb post, shouldn't ever be forgotten.

 

[Al Moh.]

bump as well, since I have issues with respecting others right now, hopefully this is going to help others as well.

 

[Jon55]

If, through no fault of your own, your girl doesn't respect you, then you should show her no respect in return. If she does something flagrantly disrespectful - e.g, talking sh|t about you to her friends, flirting with other guys in front of you, ignoring you, disrespecting you in front of your friends, cheating, etc. - you need to show her IMMEDIATELY that this kind of behavior absolutely WILL NOT be tolerated. If this necessitates dumping her sorry ass, so be it. Showing any tolerance for disrespect at all will irrevocably set the tone of your relationship in a way most decidedly detrimental to yourself, and your girl will continue to walk all over you.

Solid line, but how? You explained the why, but not the how. What do you do when a girl disrespects you? How do you tell her (whether it be through words or actions) that you seriously disapprove of her actions, and to start treating you with respect (or else, of course, you're dumping her a$$).

EDIT: Found a couple good threads on this stuff, here and here.

 

[Liquid Oxygen]

Thanks for the great stuff!

 

[glocc]

Solid line, but how? You explained the why, but not the how. What do you do when a girl disrespects you? How do you tell her (whether it be through words or actions) that you seriously disapprove of her actions, and to start treating you with respect (or else, of course, you're dumping her a$$).

EDIT: Found a couple good threads on this stuff, here and here.

I've been waiting for someone to answer his question! The way you put to show her that you can walk away at any time is genius and makes perfect logical sense, because if you do in fact treat the girl your seeing very well then it will be a big slap in the face with reality. This girls been blowing me off for the past 2 weeks, but I know she has feelings for me because i got her roses the first time we went out, and she said no guys ever done that for her. and when i talked to her on the phone a couple days ago she said the flowers were dried and hung on her wall. So the next time she makes plans with me and blows me off last minute, what would be the perfect thing to let her know you have respect for yourself and many options, and are willing to walk away at any time?

 

[Onlyliveonce]

Tell her you met someone else, even if you didn't. Don't bother with her she's playing with you. Roses? Are you serious? You just killed yourself right there.