Offensive vs defensive plays

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by WildThang, Nov 18, 2001.

  1. WildThang

    WildThang Master Don Juan

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    So... you see a hottie, you make a move, you get the digits, things are going great.

    But wait just a minute. What's really happening here? You're doing the DJ thing because you know there are hundreds of other guys out there - and that means you have to look right, act right, smell right, think right, and have your life right. Otherwise chicks won't like you, and that's bad - right?

    Wrong. 110% wrong. This how the AFCs see it -they wonder and sweat if they are truly worthy of that hottie they see before them. They fear they will make a mistake, and the world will end. They are terrified that rejection will happen, and this will confirm their lowly sub-human status. They feel that *if only* they had more something - looks, charm, money, shirts, shorts, hair, whatever - that they would then meet this woman's standards. And then they would be cool. And all of that.

    This is the defensive play position. And it's one of the ultimate evils in DJ land.

    Think for a moment how screwy it is. First off, it gives the woman all the power. If she disses you, you're crushed. You creep away and cry. You make love to your hand. Life is a sad and grey place. And it's all her fault... (As if!)

    Secondly there's no confidence in it. And no - that's not confidence because 'confidence gets the babes'. That's confidence for knowing that that's who you are - a man, and totally proud of it.

    And finally, chicks love to play this game. Someone posted an example recently of a chicking coming right out and asking 'So why should I think you're special compared to all the other guys who want me?'

    Not all chicks say this, but a lot of them can think it. And once you let her play that game, you're on the spot - sweating and thinking 'What do I say? What do I do? Am I doing this right? Oh no! That wasn't right. That wasn't funny enough. I just crapped out...'

    Well, fvck that. Here's a huge DJ secret - as soon as you catch yourself thinking like that, stop and pause. Watch what you're doing to yourself.

    And kill it dead. Because it's BS.

    The offensive position is *not to care what the chick thinks.* Not at all. Not even if she's that ultimate perfect 10, with a personality to match.

    Can you do that? Yes you can. You have to remember one key thing - you live DJ-style not to 'pick up chicks' to prove anything to anyone. Not you, not her, not your mother or God or the guy who beat the crap out of you in sixth grade.

    You do it because it leads to fun and makes your life a better place to be. And that is the *only* reason you do it. It's about *you*. Not her. Not anyone else. *You.*

    But there's more. Now that we've worked out where the real priorities should be, you can start to do pickups not to wheedle and manipulate otherwise disinterested women so you can get laid, but to find women who are worthy of your time and attention - first with the looks, and then with the personality. The whole package. One night. LTR. Long term dating. Whatever *you* want.

    You don't approach women hoping that if you do and say all the right things in the right order standing exactly so and giving all the right signals, she might - if you're really lucky - condescend to spend time with you.

    You do the approach to *check her out.* You know she's cute, and now you want to know more. You want to know if she's good enough to add something good to your life. (Or is she just another bratty self-centred biatch who thinks she's the **** but is really nothing special at all?) Is she funny? Is she cool? Is she smart? Is she sane? Is she really as cute close up?

    These are the only questions that matter. You'll notice 'Am I doing this right?' is not one of them.

    So you do approaches because *you are the man.* You are looking for quality. You are testing for quality. You are not putting yourself on the spot to see if she decides you are the weakest link. You are approaching her to see what *she can do for you*.

    Why does this work? First off it puts her on the defensive. Instead of fawning and supplicating all over her like the average nervous AFC, she sees right away you can take her (heh... [​IMG] ) or leave her. This blows a fuse in the chick mind. Once you're the real deal, you'll find she starts doing things to impress you, rather than the other way round. This is a good place for you to be. [​IMG]

    Secondly it means you don't care about the outcome, so you get to be more relaxed. If she blows you off - well, so what? Chicks that aren't quality can't spot quality when they see it. This is not your problem. If she's having a mood or something - again, not your problem. It's not your job to work out what's up with her. And because you have no problems with the approach, you can find yourself a 'next' with no worries.

    But the real killer principle is - this isn't about chicks. This is about you. If you want quality, you have to decide to *be* quality.

    But forget some kind of work ethic or money crap. Quality doesn't mean owning a beamer and a $10,000,000 house in Palo Alto. Quality means belonging to the aristocracy of those who live life on their own terms, doing what they enjoy the most. If that means money, then go make money. If that means something else, then go do something else. But - again - you do it for you. Because it improves your life and makes you happier. And when you do it, you do it for everything. The whole chick thing is just a fun sideline.
     
    Berom likes this.
  2. improvingdonjuan

    improvingdonjuan Senior Don Juan

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    great post!!!!!!!!! thats exactly my mindset right now dude, nice to know some one else has actually understood the dj consept

    keep up the great job

    ------------------
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    CONFIDENCE AND HUMOR ARE THE KEY TO HER HEART

    be confident,homorous,and charming and you will be succesful in life because people think of you as highly as you think of yourself
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    THE DJ BIBLE
     
  3. CHALENGE GUY

    CHALENGE GUY Senior Don Juan

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    GREAT POST. Thanks.
     
  4. Aztec

    Aztec Master Don Juan

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    Excellent post!!!
     
  5. ScarFaceOI

    ScarFaceOI Don Juan

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    So, are you gona write that on a men's room wall somewhere, or do I have to?

    ------------------
    Don Juan
    ScarFaceOI
    ScarFaceOI@greatestgamers.com

    The DJ Bible ~or~ The High School Don Juan Bible

    “Low there do I see my Father. Low there do I see my Mother and my Sisters and my Brothers. Low there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning. They bid me, take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live, forever!”
    –Norseman Prayer
     
  6. maknmovs

    maknmovs Senior Don Juan

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    What a post..quality stuff

    ------------------
    Life is lost in dreaming, and dreaming is lost in becoming (Motto on the Hard Rock Cafe in Cancun, Mexico)

    Ive failed over, and over, and over again in my life, and that is why i succeed..-Michael Jordan

    "Success requires no explanations; Failure permits no alibis"

    Square playaz get played, pimps get paid, macks persuade
     
  7. Selfesteemboy

    Selfesteemboy Senior Don Juan

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    well said
     
  8. DarkDream

    DarkDream Don Juan

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    Good post but I disagree with you on a couple of points.

    Such a mental attitude you are describing is right on and it should be cultivated from the very beginning. However, such and attitude comes from confidence. And usually confidence comes from a sort of proficiency.

    For new DJs to the game (who really don't have a clue), they need to stick to some rules and wonder whether they are following them or not. They need to reassess themselves in order to gain valuable experience. The rules give the aspiring DJ a measuring tool and guide to their actions.

    Once a DJ starts to experience success and is able to act in a controlled and confident manner *naturally* then they can truly begin to start thinking and *believing* the things you are saying.

    While you are right on, such an attitude needs a bit of time to develop and mature into.

    Ultimately what makes a DJ is not his looks, his bag of tricks, his smile or his fancy moves. It's his attitude and the way he thinks.

    [This message has been edited by DarkDream (edited 01-03-2002).]
     
  9. artisano

    artisano Don Juan

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    ...So if she says to you...'So why should I think you're special compared to all the other guys who want me?'....

    (She probably won't even say it if you had this correct attitude)

    Then you say back (in the same serious or kidding way she said it) "I don't care what you think of me compared to other guys".

    (and you think to yourself silently...'besides, I could kick all their asses anyway')
     
  10. the_a1pha

    the_a1pha Guest

    Excellent mind-set! I love it!

    Let continue this great job, I think this is the base of DJ mindset... the mental attitude that predetermines a person's responses to and interpretations of situations.

    I propose everyone suggests some attitudes leaded by this mind-set, some real life examples..


    [This message has been edited by the_a1pha (edited 01-04-2002).]
     
  11. phuckdeezhos

    phuckdeezhos Don Juan

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    Damn good post dog.

    ------------------
    Dog women like they dog us.
     
  12. Keymaster of Goza

    Keymaster of Goza Senior Don Juan

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    Another great post WildThang...I'm really enjoying your work.

    FOR THE RECORD.
    This is how I would handle the following situation.

    HER: "So why should I think you're special compared to all the other guys who want me?"

    KEYMASTER:
    {Looks at her for a moment. Grins}

    "This"

    {Gets up. Leaves. Doesn't look back}
     
  13. 318 Most Hated

    318 Most Hated Don Juan

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    Tight post...

    im startung to get my life back on track once again.....

    Peace....

    ------------------
    "When you sit down at a poker table, look around and identify the chump. If you don't see one, leave, because the chump is you!" -Kodak

    "I keep my Desert Eagle ****ed back in my tuxedo, with my top hat
    What you broke motherf*&kaz know about that?"
    -Big Pun(r.i.p.)
     
  14. El Perro

    El Perro Don Juan

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    Another great post WildThang...I'm really enjoying your work.
    FOR THE RECORD.
    This is how I would handle the following situation.

    HER: "So why should I think you're special compared to all the other guys who want me?"

    KEYMASTER:
    {Looks at her for a moment. Grins}

    "This"

    {Gets up. Leaves. Doesn't look back}

    ---------------------------------------------

    THIS is what I call DJ attitude! Keep representin', Keymaster!

    [This message has been edited by El Perro (edited 03-29-2002).]
     
  15. De La Soul

    De La Soul Master Don Juan

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    One of the best posts ever.

    De La
     
  16. djbr

    djbr Master Don Juan

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    Bump! :D
     
  17. Duke

    Duke Master Don Juan

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    One of the best posts I've ever read on sosuave.

    These are core mindsets of a great seducer, and you laid them out brilliantly, Wildthang.

    If not put in the DJB, this should definitely be stickied.

    There's nothing I would add or change in this post, because I love the whole thing. However, that quote is AWESOME and SO TRUE. Girls are ****y and have nothing to back it up but a bunch of sniveling AFC wimps who gave them something for nothing all their lives. Don't give the shi!t away for free and watch how they start questioning themselves, trying to prove themselves to you to stay congruent with their self-image of them being so great and deserving of love.
     
  18. Duke

    Duke Master Don Juan

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    BUMP
     
  19. cant think of a user name

    cant think of a user name Master Don Juan

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    Absolutely brilliant.

    I hope more people read it.
     
  20. superman2k6

    superman2k6 Don Juan

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    like everyone said, great post!
     

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