Observations...

[MrAddiction]

She says "I love you"
You say with a big smile "I Love me too" ;-))
Or... "I know" always with a big smile.
Then Kiss her.
Worked for me

 

[Roober]

The talk...

Still hasn't come. My main plate is head over heels for me. Like, she just stares at me sometimes with major googly eyes. I don't think she understands dating or anything. Her sexual history... LTR through HS and college, marriage, 2 year LTR, me. She is very naive on so many things to relationships, and I think she assumes we are BF/GF, but still no talk or even question of it. She did say one time a month ago, looked at me, and said "you know I don't want anyone else, and I just want you. You know that I love you and want to be with you." Maybe that was her subtle way of saying... are we exclusive? Women and their covert communications. Needless to say, haven't done anything with other women in the two months, as OLD has been pretty quiet (and disappointing) and life has picked up quite a bit (boys activities, work, fitness).

She is a bit of a love bomber, but also seems to know when I am busy, and just pings me, it is weird. Been about 2 months since we have seen each other more regularly, so I imagine that tapers a bit, or she begins showing some negative behaviors... I will just keep motoring along for now. She is still one of the most giving people I have ever met, buys me gifts frequently...

Work is going very well, and we have a great time together. I got completely blindsided yesterday with papers from my ex saying she wants full custody (we have 50/50 now).... that fvcking *****! Probably tired of paying child support, while I am confident nothing changes, it has me shaken... I just can't fvcking believe she wants to take them.... Had main girl over when I read it, so it took me some time to shake it off.... definitely not easy to maintain frame when you get hit by a freight train. Fortunately, I called mom and talked about it, didn't share with girl...

Insecurities

I have noticed I have a desire for attention when my main girl is busy or isn't texting. I went to therapy for this for a little bit, and think I may need to resume. I feel like that is the time when I log into OLD or look for other things. Realizing I still need to work on some inner game... I think if things were to end, I may just take it easy on women for a couple months to get it out of my system... that neediness is still there... I have zero reason to doubt her, but if I don't here from her all day, then I begin to question... this tells me I still have insecurities I need to handle... Not going to lie, I do care about her a lot, but I can't have these behaviors. Don't feel I have slipped frame at all, but I need to watch myself closely.... Reminds me of what Pook talks about where people get afraid of being alone... I think that demon is still deep inside me...

 

[Roober]

Women that like you make it obvious...

So, been about 5 months since an update and still with the same girl. At some point, we became bf/gf. Looking back now at the post from May, nothing has changed. I keep thinking it will taper at some point, but it hasn't. She calls me handsome and cutie, etc. She wants to be with me all the time. She showers me in affection. She will cook, clean, etc. for me. Often times, I have to decline because I don't want to get dependent on that. She sometimes just stares at me, like in awe of me, which is odd. Regularly texts and tells me she loves me. and on and on... treats my boys well and involves me with her kids. If anything, I think her affections have grown.

The great part is if it ended (I suppose I am inherently negative about relationships now), I feel like I would be in a great place. I would be sad, but not be in the same position as with the exgf.

Stick to your standards...
Well, it has been sometime with the girl now and all the stupid little things I ignored when with my ex. For example, I would cook breakfast and she would just lazily eat, give out a casual thanks, then slack on cleaning. Her period lasted 7 days and she was a mess during the whole time, no sex and moodiness; not sure how some men put up with this crap. She walked slow everywhere we went, never a sense of urgency. Super picky eater, therefore I wasn't able to cook whatever and try new restaurants. The sex was not all that great at all (done after one O). All of these things together should have made me see that this woman was not a good fit for me. It was slapping me in the face and I ignored it...

 

[RalphaWreck]

All of these things together should have made me see that this woman was not a good fit for me. It was slapping me in the face and I ignored it...

Sometimes we are made to feel we are the ones at fault.

 

[resilient]

Reminds me of what Pook talks about where people get afraid of being alone... I think that demon is still deep inside me...

It may be my own personal experience, yet I've noticed the more comfortable and dedicated I am in my life with career, hobbies and social events, the less alone I feel.

I had one plate for a few weeks this summer that fell through yet I just haven't been motivated to acquire new plates or put a lot of work into them to get them interested enough for dates, etc. I used to believe having a steady supply of plates would keep me afloat or happy, at worse, those were my most stressful times.

Dating isn't supposed to be stressful or worrying 24/7 about interest level or analyzing every move and non-move, fending off her orbiters/options.

A Don Juan has more productive tidings happening in his life than a handful of plates.

 

[ubercat]

This is the thing I enjoy so much about this site seeing and contributing to guys growth to the point where they are helping other guys. Great work mate.

 

[Roober]

It may be my own personal experience, yet I've noticed the more comfortable and dedicated I am in my life with career, hobbies and social events, the less alone I feel.

I had one plate for a few weeks this summer that fell through yet I just haven't been motivated to acquire new plates or put a lot of work into them to get them interested enough for dates, etc. I used to believe having a steady supply of plates would keep me afloat or happy, at worse, those were my most stressful times.

Dating isn't supposed to be stressful or worrying 24/7 about interest level or analyzing every move and non-move, fending off her orbiters/options.

A Don Juan has more productive tidings happening in his life than a handful of plates.

Agreed! 100% excessive dating seems like more of an attempt to fill a void. When I stopped trying and just let things come to me, I met the woman I am seeing now. While enjoying my time so much more.