My Advice After 2 Decades Dealing With Women

[SW15]

I came of age when online dating was becoming a thing. I'm an early millennial.

I watched it go from a gold mine to a garbage dump, and it basically happened overnight.

All the sites, almost in tandem, started cracking down on men's ability to reach out to women.

Suddenly, you had to "match" in order to message them. Before that sh1t i was coming up with clever messages and mass sending them. It was glorious for an introvert like myself

They basically made it easier for women to screen men - as if it wasn't easy enough already lol. It made online dating a joke. You now have to spend hours qualifying yourself online.

Yes, online dating websites became de-stigmatized around the mid-2000s. That's when early Millennials were in their early 20s.

Few people in recent years have talked about the changes that happened from online dating websites to smartphone-based dating apps.

Prior to Tinder's launch in 2012, women's inboxes on websites like Match, Okcupid, and Plenty of Fish were bombarbed. It was common for women to get 100+ messages a day in their inboxes on those websites in the late 2000s/early 2010s. Women were sick of reading messages from creepsters. A smaller percentage of unattached women were using online dating website circa 2010 as compared to the percentage of unattached women that use smartphone-based dating apps in the post-September 2012 era (Tinder's launch date was September 2012).

Sending clever messages to large numbers of women was a thing in the late 2000s/early 2010s. That was something I did around that time. It generally had a poor response rate (I remember a rate around 5-10% for me) but still better than the match rate on right swipes (less than 1% for most men's right swipes).

Online dating websites were not a good experience for most men but smartphone-based dating apps have made the experience even worse than online dating websites.

It's made cold-approaching more sensible than ever. At least when you approach women in person, you know within seconds if you have a chance or not. You also get the added benefit of overcoming your fears and getting an adrenaline boost!

Not to mention the fact that certain characteristics exclusively need to be seen in person: confidence, a quick wit, being able to direct the conversation, a masculine presence

Approaching strangers in real life was the better use of time during the 2000s/early 2010s era of online dating websites and the post-2012 smartphone-based dating app era.

I agree with everything you say above about real life approach.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Yes, online dating websites became de-stigmatized around the mid-2000s. That's when early Millennials were in their early 20s.

Few people in recent years have talked about the changes that happened from online dating websites to smartphone-based dating apps.

Prior to Tinder's launch in 2012, women's inboxes on websites like Match, Okcupid, and Plenty of Fish were bombarbed. It was common for women to get 100+ messages a day in their inboxes on those websites in the late 2000s/early 2010s. Women were sick of reading messages from creepsters. A smaller percentage of unattached women were using online dating website circa 2010 as compared to the percentage of unattached women that use smartphone-based dating apps in the post-September 2012 era (Tinder's launch date was September 2012).

Sending clever messages to large numbers of women was a thing in the late 2000s/early 2010s. That was something I did around that time. It generally had a poor response rate (I remember a rate around 5-10% for me) but still better than the match rate on right swipes (less than 1% for most men's right swipes).

Online dating websites were not a good experience for most men but smartphone-based dating apps have made the experience even worse than online dating websites.



Approaching strangers in real life was the better use of time during the 2000s/early 2010s era of online dating websites and the post-2012 smartphone-based dating app era.

I agree with everything you say above about real life approach.

My response rate wasn't great when i was mass messaging, but it took minimal effort, and the women that actually read my message thought it was funny. I'll give you an example of my typical opener:

"Ok you found me. Yes, I'm Waldo. Yes, i like to hide in crowds. Yes, I stopped wearing my snow cap and striped shirt, and yes i'm more handsome than you imagined.

What's your deal?"