'Love' - and AFCs

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by WildThang, Nov 27, 2001.

  1. Lorenzo

    Lorenzo Master Don Juan

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    ... wyldthing, quit while your not behind by that much...

    WildThing, good post...

    And I for 1 would like to bring something to the women of this forums attension:

    We, or at leased I, am not as I post on the forum... a hard ass MOTHER-FVCKER + mean son of a *****... I am COMPLETELY different in real life, and I assume most guys here are different as well...

    And when you say you woulding give <so-and-so> the time of day... you really don't know, maybe this so called ass hole is the suavest, most devonaar man you will ever meet, and you like sertain qualities about him he has not shown on the forum???
     
  2. WildThang

    WildThang Master Don Juan

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    And once you see through that game, the rest is easy. Finally we realise that women are not nice, sweet, adorable creatures just because they're female and pretty. A lot of them actually *are* self-centred, self-obsessed and controlling *to the extent that they can be completely blind to a guy's feelings.*

    These women just *do not see* what the outcome of their actions is. They will sleep with some other guy then come crying to you looking for sympathy, expecting you to make it better, and not get at all why you might not, for some reason, be 110% immediately willing to do that.

    And what are the chances that a chick who does this will ever say 'Yes, it was *all* my fault' instead of 'You jerk - I only did this because of *you*?

    Are all like this? Thankfully, no. There are some real sweeties out there.

    But a scary number are like this. Worse still, they have this schizophrenic view of themselves where they absolutely don't see what they're doing, or it even occurs to them that there might be something mad or bad about it.

    Worse still again *guys are expected to be blind to this.* How many newbie posts on here give the women involved the benefit of the doubt by default? And the guy is wondering what *he* is doing wrong?

    Looking honestly at what's happening is something guys are just not supposed to do. We're told over and over that women are 'better at relationships' than we are, and eventually we start to believe it, no matter how crap that line is.

    So here's a tip - *being female does not make someone any better at empathy than you are.* A woman may go all gooshy over little fluffy animals and still be completely unable to understand that you have feelings that can be hurt by her actions. It's not pretty, it's not nice, but it *is* the way it is out there.

    This means that if you find you ever want to go beyond the sex stage and give your heart to a chick, you *have* to check out whether she is like this or not. Otherwise you'll be paying big time later. And you do *not* want to be there when the brown stuff hits the spinning metal thing.

    To get back to post 1 - the only thing that was meant as poetic license, and which I should clarify as such, was the idea that women somehow sat down and planned 'love' so it would drive guys mad. Sadly, love (of this sort, anyway) turns women into drooling idiots just as much as it turns men. So yes, blaming them for the whole deal might indeed be just a leetle bit harsh. [​IMG]

    Other than that, what was the post for? Here are some of the secret, evil assumptions that I was trying to call out:

    The belief in scarcity

    The belief that 'love' in the AFC sense will buy you a worthwhile relationship

    The belief that if you love someone you can ignore how they actually act towards you

    The belief that if you love someone and act in a loving way, that's all you need to worry about for a guaranteed happy ending

    The stupid, *stupid* process of committing to exclusivity (at least in your own head) with someone you haven't even dated yet

    The belief that any one woman is so unique that she is 'the one', and is therefore allowed to short-circuit all your higher brain functions and make you look stupid (or worse), if she so chooses

    The belief that you should choose a woman based on how you feel about her, and whether or not she condescends to spend time with you because of those feelings, instead of choosing her for how she feels and acts towards you, and how *good you feel* (or not) when she's around

    The AFC belief that women are angels who can absolutely be relied on to be nice, mature, honest, straightforward and to know more about relationships than you ever could *just because they're female*, and that you should always, absolutely, trust everything they say, because (hey...) don't you see it's for your own good?

    The AFC belief that 'the one' is 'THE ONE' - and there will never be another who even comes close to comparing, and therefore much pain and anguish is due when she leaves

    As for uniqueness - are women unique? Yes and no. You'll always mesh with some better than others. And some will hit your heart with the force of a Mack truck.

    Guess what? In the long run, that guarantees nothing. You still need to keep checking out what she's doing, whether she's respecting you, whether she's lying to you over things big and small, how sorted her own life is, where she is with her exes. And all of that.

    What women do want is to *believe* they're unique - at least to you. Women *hate* the idea that they're predictable, or simple, or easy to see through. It's ultimate chick heresy to say that to them (and a wise DJ would never say that to a woman's face. Along with 'Yes dear, actually you do look rather fat in that.' [​IMG]) ) They would rather tear your head off with a chainsaw than admit that it could ever, in a million years, be even slightly true.

    But in fact the ultimate, single, predictable chick fantasy is to be pursued relentlessly by a high status quality guy who could have any chick he wants, but who wants *her* because of her seductiveness, intelligence, allure, feminine grace, or whatever qualities she feels make her stand out. So if you're high status enough (or can act high status enough) to get her attention, and can make a chick feel 'special' like that, she's yours.

    Complicated? Not really.

    As for love... yes, people can and do hit it off. Sometimes they go all effortlessly gooshy on each other and it's every bit as nice and sweet as everyone says. Sometimes it even lasts. Occasionally it'll last a lifetime.

    But is an AFC *at all* likely to have an experience like that while he's pining over some chick who has just LJBF'd him? While all his emotional energy is invested in her, instead of being out there looking for someone that makes him happy without demanding that he go through this?

    *That* is what the post was about. If you are wasting energy in pointless fantasising and drama on a chick, even if you feel she is 'the one' and you are 'in love' with her, even if you've gone beyond chumphood to a place where the sex is great, if she's sapping your energy, you're still being more stupid than a very stupid person from a tribe of stupids in CapitalStupid somewhere in the Stupid Solar System, in a Stupid Galaxy far far far away. (Have I made my point here? [​IMG] )

    The truth - the unarguable, simple truth - is that somewhere out there is at least one, and very possibly a whole lot more, chicks with whom things will work out a whole lot more smoothly for you.

    An AFC doesn't believe they exist. And even if they do, he doesn't believe he has what it takes to find them. As long as he believes that, he is exactly 100% right. He doesn't do ask outs, he lacks the basic skills, his choices are zero. Which is why he's average, frustrated, and a chump.

    And what's more, a whole load of of women will line up to tell him over and over - exactly as Wyldfire has tried to do here - that this is how it is, and this what he *should* believe, and he should never change his mind, because if he exercises his male powers of discrimination and exploration and self-control at all, he's suddenly a cynical, bitter, woman hater. (Or something equally black and wicked and shameful and nasty, scratch, miaow, scratch, miaow.)

    But... a DJ knows he can find them. So he does. He learns the skills, he puts himself on the line, he does the job.

    And then - everyone is happy. (Including, as it happens, the lucky chick herself.)
     
  3. WildThang

    WildThang Master Don Juan

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    The Dude wrote:
    Yes, indeed. In the end this is not about 'women' at all. This is about finding our self respect, standing our own ground and not taking crap from anyone, whether it's a psyco-chick, an evil boss, or even all the stuff that rattles around inside our heads.

    You can play the same game at work. The work equivalent of an AFC *really believes* that if he is loyal to the company, the company will be loyal to him. Then he can't quite work out what hit him when he's downsized without a word.

    In the end it's about taking power for yourself from all the people and things who would take it from you.

    [This message has been edited by WildThang (edited 11-28-2001).]

    [This message has been edited by WildThang (edited 11-28-2001).]
     
  4. CHALENGE GUY

    CHALENGE GUY Senior Don Juan

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    He has risen. The Savior is here.

    Enlightening post.

    ------------------
    Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

    - Roosevelt

    Heretics shall perish. Please read the Bible. It is is a whole vast world of wisdom, beauty, and moral truth.

    THE DJ BIBLE
     
  5. Wyldfire

    Wyldfire Banned

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    Lorenzo...I'm talking about his behavior on this forum towards me. That's what I'm basing my opinion on. Now, I have sat back and been rather tolerant of his bullsh*t for quite awhile now. Rather than challenge the sentiments I post he just insults me, and it's getting quite old. If he has any redeeming qualities, he sure as hell doesn't show them on here...but that's my opinion.
     
  6. Wyldfire

    Wyldfire Banned

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    Wildthang...how about you go find exactly where I called you a womanhater. Actually, don't waste your time because I never said it. Apparently someone else has said that to you at some point and you are again assuming sh*t.

    While you're at it...find those posts where I tell ANYONE that they have to put up with crap from women or anyone. Again, you can't do that because I have NEVER said any such thing.

    I can tell you hate Feminism, but I doubt you hate it any more than I do. I could go on for days and days about how the women's movement has totally f*cked up society beyond recognition. Men get screwed over in the legal system, workplace and the media paints men out to be violent woman beating rapists who are number than a pounded thumb. I despise that crap. Wanna know why? First off, it's not fair to men to have to put up with being treated like lowlife scum. Secondly...men such as yourself figure out what's really going on because of feminism, see tits on someone and are so goddamned defensive and suspicious that you see things that aren'd even f*cking there. I'm quite sick of having people like you assume that I am like the majority of women who think they are entitled to more than men without doing a damn thing to earn or deserve it. I do expect respect and common courtesy from others, and they get the same from me. However, if you are going to be an @ss to me, you'd best be prepared to get a heavy dose of the same treatment in return. You get what you give with me. Now, I would strongly suggest that you dig your head out of your @ss and actually READ my posts and take them at face value rather than looking for some nonexistant hidden sabotage against men, cuz it just isn't there. I say you are behaving like a fembot because they will look for hidden sexism and bigotry until they find something they can twist around to appear to be some kind of bias. And THAT, Wildthang, is the EXACT same thing you are doing with my posts. Kindly knock it off. Should you choose to stop doing that I will stop being a biotch to you. Like I said, you get what you give.
     
  7. Sir_Chancealot

    Sir_Chancealot Master Don Juan

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    Screwy situation? You mean he's married, don't you? [​IMG]

    First, you need to look up the definition of ironic. It would be "ironic" if they were all chicks that I had given them the boot because they were "too nice". The two nieces (out of about 40 or so nieces and nephews, not counting GREAT nieces and nephews) happen to be in their very early 20s. Why do you think I put the addendum to my post? And by the way, what am I suppossed to do, comment about total f*cking strangers?!? More chick logic for you gentleman.

    Bitter? No, not bitter. I have learned (actually, it would be closer to say "am learning") to look at life AS IT IS, not AS ONE WISHES IT WERE.

    I hold women to the same standards to which I hold myself. I *KNOW* what I have to offer to a woman, and I will not accept a woman who is below my standards. I think it just galls you that there are men in this world who think (and rightfully so) that they are better than MOST of the women out there. Why would I want to kiss a woman who has had 20 other d*cks in her mouth? Why would I want a woman who has played out all of her fun, carefree, hot-body years on jerks, and now wants to have a man around the house to raise the kids? I don't think so.

    I broke two of my cardinal rules when I got together with my wife. Hence, I speak from experience when I tell men to NEVER lower their standards.

    Want to know why I married her? I got her pregnant. You think when I advise guys not to have sex, it's from some moral highground? Not likely. It's because I KNOW FIRSTHAND the ramifications of things like that.

    EVERYONE advised me not to marry her. Know why I did anyway? BECAUSE MY CHILD NEEDED A MOTHER AND A FATHER. And not just a father, a father who loved his mother. (If you weren't raised in a family like this, you will have no idea of that which I speak). So, I *CHOSE* to love her, despite my misgivings. Oh how easy it would have been to just walk away and pay child support. So, when I say I am a REAL MAN, you can bet your @ss that I am exactly what I say. I've always been a DJ at heart, I just let myself be brainwashed into AFC mode when I was younger. No more.

    Things would have turned out the same, but probably much sooner if we had not gotten together.

    I have learned, in a very experiential way, not to throw away what I have to offer on women who WILL NOT appreciate it. By and large, most women AREN'T appreciative of what their man has to offer in their lives.

    I lowered my standards, and payed a living hell for it. I would like to see my fellow, albeit younger, DJs avoid the mistakes that I have made if at all possible.

    You show me a good woman, and I'd take her in a second. They are VERY rare, and are almost always spoken for. [/sarcasm on] Now, I wonder why that is? [/end sarcasm]
    I don't care if a guy is an total AFC chump, or the meanest jerk around, he KNOWS a good woman when he meets one. He may blow the opportunity for whatever reason, but he KNOWS.

    You come one here, and try to tell these younger guys that "not all women are like that", but guess what? The vast majority of them are.

    RIDDLE ME THIS BATMAN..... If MOST women weren't like this, why are guys flocking to this site in droves? Guess what else? Women have ALWAYS respected me. Guess why I didn't get much play? Because I didn't play their little bullsh*t games. Because I didn't do things THEIR way.

    I once thought as you do, that you DON'T have to play games to get together with a woman. AHAHAHAAHAAA! Man, what a clueless f*ck I was! That was because when I was younger, the mature men and women, and their relationships were based in reality, not in the bullsh*t that 99% of women THINK is reality today.

    I don't claim to know "all about your relationships", but I know enough to call you on your bullsh*t. You think you aren't like other women, and I gave several very concrete examples of why you ARE just like other women. I will do so again.

    You stated "Firstly...the guy IS in a FUBAR situation right now that severely limits our ability to converse on the phone. I hate it and am pissed off about it because he is being a "Chump" in this situation."

    Translated for the men here: He isn't doing what *I* want him to do. How come MY FEELINGS aren't more important to him?

    You stated: "For the record...I am a damn good woman..."

    Translated: But, I will neglect to mention that I made a kid, but never married his/her dad. It's irrelevant anyway, because *I* think I am a good woman.

    You stated "I can tell you right now that I wouldn't give men like Wildthang the time of day."

    Translated: Except for my first husband. And my fiance. And the guy across the country.

    You stated "...is obviously a bitter jerk with more resentments and emotional baggage than I want any part of..."

    Translated: He makes me sooooo mad. But at least he makes me feel SOMETHING. I think *GASP* he's a REAL MAN! Oh, now my panties are wet!

    NAH! Just kidding on that last one! [​IMG] It IS pretty funny though.

    You stated: "men with that attitude are not going to even get close enough to the kind of woman they are looking for because they have such a miserable piss-poor attitude that they will only attract f*cked up women."

    Translated: I'm pissed that these guys have figured out how to manipulate women. I'm even MORE pissed that they are getting more successful at it.

    You stated: "I'm sure plenty will disagree with me, seeing as I have tits and all..."

    Translated: Nope, no feminist here.

    You continued: "...but the fact is...I am right and those wiser fellas KNOW this."

    [editor's (that would be me!) note: No, the "wiser fellas" know that you are WRONG in this.]

    Translated: Why can't all men just go back to being the good little AFC?

    You stated: "Why do you think they keep telling newbies not to try to become a jerk? They aren't just blowing air out of their arseholes, afterall."

    Translated: I think I just won't remind all the DJs that the more experienced DJs want the less experienced ones to get more p*ssy than the jerk, but have a chance at catching a good woman too.

    You stated: How does he 'know full well' I'll be there for him? Simple...I consistently HAVE been for at least the last 18 months. "

    Translated: I have waited on him for a year and a half, so he HAS to know that I'll be there for him. Even though we've barely even been together....even though he can barely call me....even though we barely communicate. I KNOW all this because I am a woman.


    Wyldfire, you seem to be a nice person, and you seem to be pretty intelligent, but for all that, you still don't get it. Women today ARE JUST LIKE I HAVE BEEN DESCRIBING. You either cannot or will not admit it.

    I am using biting sarcasm, humor, and truthfullness in my "translations" so that the younger DJs will SEE that, for all Wyldfire's protestations, she is NOT that far from the women of which we speak.

    Wyldfire, I am beginning to think that you aren't on here to "help guys out" and "give a woman's perspective". I am starting to think that you are on here to find out who your "man" is, and keep tabs on him.
    But, nah.... it's probably just me being bitter and all.

    What do the older DJs think?
     
  8. Sir_Chancealot

    Sir_Chancealot Master Don Juan

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    OMG! People still believe that?!?

    Actually, now that I think about it, there is this one guy I work with that thinks the same thing. He'll find out. Hopefully later rather than sooner.
     
  9. Wyldfire

    Wyldfire Banned

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    oops double post

    [This message has been edited by Wyldfire (edited 11-29-2001).]
     
  10. Wyldfire

    Wyldfire Banned

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    Chance...if you want to REALLY find out how much like most women I am...go ask the guys here...They know me as Shannon. Warning to others...if you are easily offended you might not want to visit this forum. It can be very hard hitting and really lampoons feminism. I started the original forum for a bunch of guys who were getting booted from other forums, to provide free speech and a place for angry guys to vent. I turned it over to one of the most hardcore antifeminist men on line.


    http://forums.delphiforums.com/_Gi2_/messages
     
  11. 318 Most Hated

    318 Most Hated Don Juan

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    Im the same way 2...improving myself every god damn day in the world of chaos.....




    ------------------
    "When you sit down at a poker table, look around and identify the chump. If you don't see one, leave, because the chump is you!" -Kodak

    "I keep my Desert Eagle ****ed back in my tuxedo, with my top hat
    What you broke motherf*&kaz know about that?"
    -Big Pun(r.i.p.)
     
  12. djbr

    djbr Master Don Juan

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    bump! :)
     
  13. B-Lemond

    B-Lemond Master Don Juan

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    bbbbbbb--bump

    I just had to bring this back up to the top.........
     
  14. floydtheater07

    floydtheater07 Don Juan

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    WildThand, I have to disagree with you. Yeah, the vast majority of the time, the word "love" is exploited. But if you've ever felt that genuine connection between two people, you would know that it does exist.

    Nobody who acts like an AFC is truly accepting the love anyway, cuz they don't trust the girl. So youre lgic is pretty flawed.
     
  15. ( . )( . )

    ( . )( . ) Banned

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    This tip is Bloody GOLDEN. The guy has a solid and down to earth grasp at understanding what its all about.

    5 stars.
     
  16. coaster

    coaster Don Juan

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    Good job, it really hit home. I am glad it was brought to the top again. I do find that the DJ way brings more intense relationships with women...being able to joke about sex, being confident about life in general there are alot of men afraid to speak at that level
     
  17. ljm

    ljm Don Juan

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    "We all know what really happens. Most women don't go for guys who 'love' them. They go for guys who excite them, frighten them, give them an adrenaline rush and can keep their little puzzies moist by acting like real men."

    Can someone give examples/detailed response of how they would go about this.
     

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