KINO: The forgotten and misused DJ tool.

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by Grey Fox, May 20, 2004.

  1. Grey Fox

    Grey Fox Master Don Juan

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    Call it what you want. Your repertoire, skillset, toolbox or routine. But we all have our tried and true methods when we like to use when approaching and dating women. I am not saying that one should have a step by step guide of how to date, but its better to know what you are doing than fumbling around like a goon. Well around here depending on what the current mood is and what appears to be working we parade out a particular tactic that becomes the flavor of the month. There is nothing wrong with championing a good idea, but sometimes we forget how important other aspects of picking up and dating women can be. Even worse when we finally dust off those old forgotten moves sometimes we forget the basic principles behind them. Finally when we go to use them, or for that matter misuse them, things tend to backfire and head south.
    The idea of KINO has been one of those dusty old ideas that gets forgotten. Also from a lot of postings I've seen when it does get dusted off has lead to some problems due to misuse. Even still some people here still don't know what KINO is, these usually being the AFCs that come here.
    It is true that KINO is a forgotten and misused DJ tool. Its lack of use and advocates has left a potentially valuable DJ skill collecting dust in some forgotten place. So I intend to advocate KINO and give you a much needed revision of the tool.
    The simplest way to define KINO is the use of touch to heighten a woman's interest in you. Though certainly there is no one way to carry out KINO, and in fact if not done corretly can be seen as at best inapproriate to at worst lewd and obscene. Forget all that B.S. about women being auditory and men being visually stimulated. Men and women use all there senses to percieve there surroundings and they certainly don't turn all but one sense of when they are out on a date. So don't knock the sense of touch, which KINO is based on. Sometimes all it takes is touch to make a few sparks or for that matter lighting strike if you're lucky.

    The 5 classic KINO no-no's.

    1. The touching is gross guy: These guys are totally uncomfortable with touching. They are so afraid of touching someone because maybe they think its gross or breaking some forbidden boundary. For whatever reason when they do try to initate KINO its awkward. He knows it, she knows it and cools things down between them like a dive into artic waters.

    2. The no touch guy: This is the guy who believes in certain dating "RULES" which can never be violated. One is that a guy should not touch a girl until after 5 or 6 dates. The problem is some women find it odd if a guy doesn't at least show some interest in her by using touch. This can cause a loss in interest because she believes the guy is not really interested.

    3. The 5 minute toucher: This guy will touch a girl and hold it there for what seems like forever. Its not subtle, awkward and makes the guy seem pervy.

    4. The grabber: His hands will go where they should not and his strong grip reminds her of a kidknapper. Also its rough and uncomfortable.

    5. The sleazy toucher: He touches below the boarder and his chances with her go south likewise. Girls don't like lewd guys that move way to quick, its not very smooth and unbecoming of a DJ.

    KINO Theory Revised.

    Alright so we have our five big no-no's for KINO use. But the question remains: What is the correct way to use KINO? Well KINO is meant as a support, not some stand alone tool. Nor can full out KINO can be applied right away. KINO like the aging of wine is time sensitive. Try something to really and it just won't go down well.
    First off don't use kino when you are cold approaching a girl, especially if her back is turned to you. It will startle her and is way to familiar to be used on someone you are approaching for the first time. After you do introduce yourself and made her feel comfortable the use of KINO is okay. To make the explination of how KINO should work I'll break it down into stages.

    KINO Stages.

    1. The first date KINO: Touching should be subtle, appropriate and brief. The idea is to show interest but not to feel her up like a blind man looking for brail. Resist touching the areas of obvious interest. Touching the shoulders, arms, small of the back at this point is acceptable.

    2. Playful KINO: You two have been seeing each other for awhile and you both playful touch each other just to signal interest. This is brief touching on the thigh or playing footsy, holding hands and a light squeeze of the shoulder.

    3. Intimate KINO: You two have spent sometime together and say you're chilling out on the couch at your place and you move beyond being playful. At this point a little rubbing begins to take place and some heavy petting can happen. By this point she should expect you to pay attention to her and touch her in certain ways if you have done things right. She should also want to touch you back to show her interest and make things more familiar between the both of you.

    KINO that you didn't think about or took for granted.

    Massaging: Definately serious KINO potential here. This will tell her a lot about you, all through your touch. Rub her the wrong way and it can hurt you. Give a good massage and her IL will certainly jump.

    Dancing: Slow dancing in particular, holding her close and wrapping your arms around her can be nice for both of you. Plus moving in rythm is a bonus that helps out too.

    The Gentlemen: Holding the door open for her and guiding her inside with a light touch at the small of the back is a nice touch that she will appreciate.

    Grey Fox's favorite KINO:

    Kissing KINO: When I go in for a kiss I like to run my hand through her hair and touch her cheek as a I kiss her. I usually get a smile for that one.

    Holding Hands: Old fashioned yes, but nice when you two are walking together. Also having taken a few trips over to Europe I am also a big fan of walking arm in arm and just carrying on a nice little conversation. This is nice for when you two are just starting to get comfortable with each other.

    Slip Hug: When you hug for the first time this is great. You start out hugging and as you break from the hug you can lightly run your arms down hers and find her hands and hold them. It can really up the IL and can lead to a kiss.

    KINO is best used when you are talking and want accent something by the use of touch. Or a way to gain attention without having to say much at all. It signals that you're having a good time while you both are playing it cool, and if she is playing it cool this is the best way for her to communicate back she is having a good time without blowing her playing it cool. Think of Kino as a tool of translation when you two are saying something that may seem vague or needs a little direction. Since most women think guys are dense in the sexual department, they will use touch as a subtle way to clear up any verbal subtles.

    Example: Your hugging at the end of a date.

    Her: "You're such a cool friend to hang with." (She breaks the hug early.)

    Same situation now.

    Her: "You're such a cool friend to hang with." (She rubs your back, squeezes you a little tighter than she needs to, rubs your butt or thigh briefly.(Yes that does happen :) )

    Sure the language sounds like you are not doing so hot. But actions speak louder than words. The breaking of a hug real early like she is trying to escape a death trap is a definate deal breaker.(DUH) But in the second part of the example where she touches you like I mentioned is a signal that she may be playing it cool but is more interested than she is letting on. The importance of KINO cannot be denied, it is the action the speaks volumes what our words don't not or refuse to say. It can betray a persons true feelings and is one of many good ways to gauge her interest level in you.

    -Grey Fox
     
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  2. TyTe`EyEs

    TyTe`EyEs Master Don Juan

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    Very nice post.
     
  3. JoE BoXeR

    JoE BoXeR Senior Don Juan

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    Grey Fox, one of the most underrated posters on this board produces another 5 star post. Good shyt!
     
  4. Frankie Poullain

    Frankie Poullain Don Juan

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    Two replies?? (shakes head despondently)

    Like someone said somewhere once, the primary requirements needed to be a successful DJ are;
    1 C+F
    2 Kino and
    3 being ''mysterious'' (not always being available)

    So as to say that failing to include one aspect will unbalance your game.

    Nice work, that should be kino ticked off the list.

    Note to self: this makes very little sense.
     
  5. Trance

    Trance Master Don Juan

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    nice post
     
  6. Hollowpoint

    Hollowpoint Master Don Juan

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    nice post indeed
     
  7. ali_g

    ali_g Senior Don Juan

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    Yeah, I guess so many people go wrong with kino and use it too much or it lacks subtlety. Other mistakes such as kino being done in the wrong place like grabbing a girl's knee several times on a 1st date.

    For newbies and for hanging out with a girl who's a bit new to rate, it's a good idea to avoid the frequent use of kino or it will scare her away.
     
  8. Dimebag_Darrell

    Dimebag_Darrell Banned

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    Definately a post that should be read by all the f*ckers in this site. Fortunately, Kino is not a "forgotten" tool in my arsenal. I don't use it on every girl, just on the ones that I think are better potential than the rest and I've learned that if I for example give a GOOD hug and walk her to her class it puts me in a different light compared to the other guys.

    But to make it truly effective it shouldn't be done all the time or it becomes predictable. You become predictable and therefore slowly the KINOing and you will get boring and well old.

    KINO is a must to all aspiring DJs. Always have a sense of romance when doing this. Like she's your GF or wife. Because slowly she'll associate you more of a lover than a friend.

    Great post, DJ BIBLE material most def.
     
  9. sAxyguy83

    sAxyguy83 Senior Don Juan

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    Another "standard" KINO move is to, when pointing to something, touch her on the (near) shoulder and lean close to her to point. This can demonstrate interest while acting as a little test of her IL - if she pulls away, it's obviously a bad sign.

    Another thing to keep in mind - KINO is very different in different places. Here in the states, there is less physical contact between people, so touches stand out more, whereas in Europe, people are much more physical. Would the international DJ's care to comment on their local variations of KINO?
     
  10. ali_g

    ali_g Senior Don Juan

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    Good point. I try and go with whatever seems socially acceptable. In my travels i've noticed that kissing on the cheeks and hugging is common between males and females who know each other, but other areas where the women are a bit uncomfortable with this sort of behaviour.
     
  11. ScrewIt

    ScrewIt Master Don Juan

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    good post, kino is often definitely misused.
     
  12. Grey Fox

    Grey Fox Master Don Juan

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    Europeans and KINO. KINO and Cold Approaches

    One thing a few friends and I have noticed is that Europeans tend to use touch more in their interactions. Since its used as an act of common familiarity when you do regular KINO it might not register that you are signaling you are interested. Though of course an intimate touch is recognized around the world, but if you haven't gotten to that point where it is okay it could earn you a slap in the face. In such instances it would be best to say something that hints at interest while peforming KINO. Not to obvious, but subtle to match the KINO. Though it certainly would not hurt to say something playful and use KINO which should help to up the IL and comfort level between you.

    I should have mentioned this earlier but didn't. Using KINO in cold approaches can be a sharp double edged sword. On the one part it can be used to create comfort, on the other, no matter how innocent it can come off like you are some creep. Cold approaches have no better start off tool than conversation and a smile. Two things which you need to make things easier on the both of you. Since you are pulling a cold approach on a girl she knows exactly what you are trying to pull and KINO may only confirm that thought. Starting off the smile and convo will help get you passed that. Use KINO wisely, after you have say closed the number as a way of subtly showing interest and to gauge her first impression of you. It should be something like a hand on the lower shoulder as you pass by to leave saying bye. When you are at a dance club you can take things a bit more easy of course. Having good dancing skills, a little chit chat and good use of KINO can boost an IL. Though the great trap here is grinding, sure its fun but it is often misused or a ruined oppurtunity to create great IL. When a guy starts to dance with a girl and immediately grinds her it signals no challenge and can be awkward for her since you don't know her and she'll think right away your just another average dog out to bone her. Instead dance close to her but show off some good moves, smile, say nice things from time to time. Move real close so that she expects to grind but then back away little. Doing all these things will help set you apart from other guys. Also not grinding her makes her start to think and get a little fustrated that you are not acting like other guys, and she is noticing you're a good dancer which is attractive. If you have never seen what fustration and attraction look like in a woman's eyes this is great way to see it right as she starts dry humping you on the dance floor. She'll grind with you because her IL has gone so high she can't take it. Now is your cue to lay out some serious KINO, hold her close, rub her back, arms, make contact with her hands and hold them. Do this while keeping a rythmic motion going and its will set off some sparks and help with that close you wanted to get.

    -Grey Fox
     
  13. DJBen

    DJBen Master Don Juan

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    Spot on. Keep up the good work.
     
  14. Mercenary

    Mercenary Senior Don Juan

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    Both going the way of the dinosaur...
    I wasted so much time thinking that I needed to resist the natural urge to touch a woman. I was out this weekend and I was having so much fun that I forgot about being mindful of the principles I wanted to work on. I saw a guy touching the arm of a girl that I had been chatting up earlier. I caught myself thinking "how unappropriate of him" (out of jealousy really). But nothing could have been more appropriate.
     
  15. Ricky

    Ricky Master Don Juan

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    I can totally vouch for kino after spending a night on a couch at a party. Just for kicks I started to kind of let my arm bump into her, then I put it up on the couch and after a while I was slowly rubbing her arm.

    It was strange and not sure what initiated me touching her, but she never pulled back at all. We were drinking and talking.

    I ended up at her place that night and the rest is history. I tell friends to this day I probably said less than 100 words to her that night. I know her first name and her phone number that's about all!
     
  16. comic_relief

    comic_relief Master Don Juan

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    quick question

    Hey,
    What is your guys experience with a hand kiss? Good or Bad experience? Acceptable or not?
    Just wondering

    Good Post BTW!
     
  17. Grey Fox

    Grey Fox Master Don Juan

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    I assume this is happening after a date. Well don't use it on the first date, it doesn't come off well. Actually use after the date where you close with a kiss. Just make sure on the next date you make her feel that you two are building something nice together, and she is a little horny. She'll expect another kiss, but instead do that, and be sincere in telling her you had a great time. Its a great tease too because she'll think that if you had a great time you would have kissed her, also it keeps that horniness pent up. Of course there is the obvious that a woman will find it romantic, which is something to keep in mind. This is real effective on those romantic soul searching types, though it is still useful in your overall game.

    -Grey Fox
     
  18. comic_relief

    comic_relief Master Don Juan

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  19. SOLDIERM16

    SOLDIERM16 Don Juan

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    good post. i want to one day KINO the world
     

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