I've changed what I can but nothing is different in school

[DamHE]

Hi,

A couple (weeks? months?) ago I posted asking for advice on clothing and stuff. Well I followed it. I improved my style of clothing, got new shoes, keep my hair neat and tidy, and I am an absolute neat-freak when it comes to hygiene. I've made friends with all the "popular" kids in my class, but not popular as in all preppy and Abercombie & Fitch stuff, popular as in they are funny, know how to talk to girls (i kind of freeze up), are respected by everyone in the class, and their confidence is 500/100. Basically they are the type of person I'm trying to become. I've definitely moved myself up the social ladder in our class by doing stuff like talking back to teachers, and being the "Skype prank caller" of our class in tech lab, stuff like that. I've gone from being a nobody to someone who is well liked by everyone in the class and having no enemies.

But when it comes to relationship stuff I think my looks drag me down. In the halls girls just ignore me - I could be burning a hole into their eyes with mine and they just keep walking while chatting to their friends. My face is not attractive - and this is a big obstacle for me when I DO manage to catch eye contact with a girl because I get so scared that she's being freaked out by my looks that I immediately look away.

I know I can't change my face (not without extensive plastic surgery, and I'm not THAT vain ) but I think I might be able to change my mentality. But it's not like I can just tell my self that I'm beautiful and then everything in life will be great.

What can I do?

 

[djweses89]

you can IM me on AIM ill help ya out my screename is ssktbrdr255 you remind me alot of myself awhile back thats why im doin this

 

[BluEyes]

I've gone from being a nobody to someone who is well liked by everyone in the class and having no enemies.

You went from being a nobody to being a nobody. You're backwards. The thing with girls is the same issue.

Ever heard the quote:
"Success is measured by the number of enemies you have."?

 

[DamHE]

Why would I want everyone to hate me?

 

[djweses89]

do you even know what the hell your even talking about blue all the boy needs is confidence in his looks and himself thats it

 

[DamHE]

Hi EXP

Thanks for the link but I don't think my problem can co-relate to yours. You said you have kino'd and flirted with alot of girls. I haven't because my confidence in my looks stops me from approaching.. And all this "approach them and it will be A-ok" is just kind of weird sounding.

 

[DamHE]

Any advice?

 

[Plec07]

Looks to me like you already know what your problems are, now all you have to do is solve them. Try just going up to random people on the street to gain confidence (after all the chances of you ever seeing them again are very slim so you got nothing to lose), or perhaps try taking up a martial art. There are loads of things you can do to build confidence, try reading up some things in the DJ bible.

As for your looks, I'm sure your not as bad as you think. And I believe anybody can create a style that suits their face regardless of how ugly they are to make them look at least average. It just takes a little bit of work to discover and make the style that is you.

 

[Rooney]

THANK YOU EXP!

That link you gave me shows you felt almost exactly like I feel now. I've modled myself around the DJ bible and I've been getting down when it hasn't been working. Now I can finally see thanks to your post that like it said the DJ persona isn't for high school. It makes me feel relived and confident, although I'm not sure how to go about getting girls. But I don't care!

Your thread got the kind of response I was hoping for. It lifted me right up. Thank you everyone.

AS for you DamHe I advise your read Killapetehog's post in Exps' topic if you haven't already. Its all in your head man, I'm sure your not bad. Try to maintain a "I don't care if I fkcuk up" attitude. From there you can go anywhere.

 

[DamHE]

Looks to me like you already know what your problems are, now all you have to do is solve them. Try just going up to random people on the street to gain confidence

What would I say? "Hi, I'm practicing talking to random people to boost my confidence" ? Anyways its not that I can't talk to people normally, I can talk to ugly girls and guys just fine, but when it comes to good looking girls I always just clamp up. I guess the solution to that would be an "i don't care, you won't see me after this June" attitude so I'll try it out on Tuesday.

Anyways Roonie, I read Killapetehog's post but I didn't really uncover some secret I had already known. Anyways I don't know why girls never look at me in the hallway even though I'm staring right at them.. They just keep talking to their friends and walk right past.. It obviously has something to do with my looks.

 

[Lust]

Maybe you are not congruent with your image.

If you dress stylish and confident, you gotta act that way also.

Don't worry about looks, it matters alot less than you think, if you think it matters, then it will affect your game. If you don't, it won't.

 

[Plec07]

What would I say? "Hi, I'm practicing talking to random people to boost my confidence" ?looks.

Go for it mate, you may get some good responses if you say it in a joking manner, sarcasm is truely a wonderful thing . And the thing about not being able to talk to attractive girls is that when you get more comfortable speaking to anybody you'll natually become better at speaking to hot girls. It's all about the "If you don't like me then I don't care, you're not worth my time" mindset. Remember you're the prize, you're the perfect catch, they need you, never let it be the other way around.