Issue that hasn't been addressed...

[mikeraw]

The vast majority of advice on this and other forums stress the fact that you have to be very outgoing, be the life of the party, be full of energy, etc... But no one ever addresses the possibility that sometimes you want to go out and get laid, but you have no energy to even fake being full of energy, no matter how many Red Bulls...

The usual answer is to try to emulate James Bond's smooth, easy-going, laid-back style... but come on, let's face it... The guy is a fictional character... Hard to imitate and hard to pull off successfully...

There has to be a formula, a behavioral pattern, or certain things in particular that you can do when you're not completely inspired or full of energy... I'm an engineer and there's nothing as draining as using your brain all day... a drink or two at the end of the day will relax and calm you down, but not exactly turn you into the life of the party... and since I just moved to Houston I try to go out every single night to meet chicks (I hardly know anyone here...).

I agree with and understand most high-energy approaches, but I swear from personal experience that even with no energy, you can pick up chicks... I don't know how I've done it and it fails most of the time, but I've gone up to chicks to have the most played conversations ever and still get a number... I haven't figured out a pattern...

Confidence? I guess that's a side-effect of not caring... but it has to have the right combination of something that I still can't figure out...

Low-energy pick ups... any thoughts on the matter?

 

[ketostix]

Yes I totally can relate to this. I go out all the time with low energy, and I'm not the life of the party type to begin with. I think what you have to do is not look like your afraid of being more outgoing but that you just don't want to be outgoing. The former is being lower value and that latter is being high value. As you referenced James Bond, it's more of being non-needy and too cool for the people around you. You're also being mysterious.

So in essence you're trying to appear higher value and not a lower value, boring and unsocial/unhappy guy. So to convey that you do have to have some looks sorry to say. You also need to appear non-nervous and content with yourself.

 

[DavenJuan]

i think the issue with you period is "trying". . best advice is dont TRY to be something you are not. if you are not the center of attention type guy and rather be the loner guy who talks to whom he feels worthy, than be that guy.

you dont HAVE to be the life of the party or extremely enthuisiastic ...IF THATS NOT YOU.

the key to this "game" is being yourself. finding yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. IMO the worst thing is trying to be something your not because it doesnt come authentically and is a huge set up for failure in the long run.

 

[joekerr31]

if a woman is attracted to you it doesnt take much effort to pick her up.

as long as you can hold a conversation you'll often do just fine.

 

[mikeraw]

It's not that I'm not the type that is outgoing, on the contrary, I'm very outgoing and fun and can take charge of a situation, but I don't like to stay home, even if I'm tired...

Women will talk to whomever they're attracted to, that's true, and it also has to do with looks, which I don't entirely lack, but if there are some things in particular that I can try, especially at a crowded club, to set myself apart, then I'd love to hear them.

 

[STR8UP]

Ever watch Winnie the Pooh?

I'm serious.

The most successful player I have ever met was more like Eeyore than Tigger.

He wasn't really good looking, he was sick (and looked it much of the time), yet he ALWAYS managed to pull the hottest tail and would usually be fukking three or more different chicks behind his g/f's back.

I paid attention to a few of the things he did.

One was his cool demeanor. Sort of like a PUA when he leans back with his body posture. He was also great at maintaining eye contact and looking at women the right way (sexually).

Another thing I remember was his use of kino. He was masterful at it.

One time we were at work and he was holding someone's baby, with his hand behind the baby's head. Several women went absolutely GAGA over the way he held this baby! I will never forget that for the rest of my life.

Moral of the story......it's not all about being outgoing. If you are good at the more "seductive" methods of seduction, you don't need to be the life of the party.

 

[Latinoman]

Low-energy pick ups... any thoughts on the matter?

This is what I have to say on this issue…IF you are in your 20s and you lack energy…then something is VERY wrong with you.

 

[Latinoman]

Now…the best way (from my perspective) to get a woman total and full attention is by using something similar to a James Bond approach. You sit back…cool…relax…and take a look at things. That’s not low energy…that is simply convert confidence.

Of course, overt confidence works too…but at a more mature level…convert is the way to go. Women are very observant…they will notice the convert and overt approach. Apply the one that best fit your need.

 

[reset]

if a woman is attracted to you it doesnt take much effort to pick her up.

as long as you can hold a conversation you'll often do just fine.

Do you find that most women who are attracted "help you out a little"? They have to know that walking up to a total stranger isn't the easiest thing to do.

Anyway, keep reading about this "ultimate paradox" which is the less you think you HAVE to have it, the more likely you are going to get it.

 

[joekerr31]

Do you find that most women who are attracted "help you out a little"? They have to know that walking up to a total stranger isn't the easiest thing to do.

Anyway, keep reading about this "ultimate paradox" which is the less you think you HAVE to have it, the more likely you are going to get it.

i find there are different kinds of women. some women will do everything in their power to help you out. they will laugh at things that are hardly funny. they will flirt and maintain eye contact. they will compliment you on how funny / smart/ well dressed you are, etc.

other women, even if they are attracted to you, will play the ice queen and try to make you work for their attention.

but yes, if a woman is interested in you, generally speaking she will help you along.

 

[reset]

But yes, if a woman is interested in you, generally speaking she will help you along.

Good, I agree, I've experienced all that (just not with complete strangers). I'm running out of reasons to be afraid of approaching.

 

[ketostix]

Str8up, after seeing your, "I'm tired" thread again. I think this thread's for you too. You should maybe go out and do some "tired gaming" :yawn: more often .

 

[ketostix]

other women, even if they are attracted to you, will play the ice queen and try to make you work for their attention.

but yes, if a woman is interested in you, generally speaking she will help you along.

The thing is if you're calibrated you can usually tell if a girl is just playing ice queen and is interested from one that really is being ice cold because she's not interested. Either way, I don't feed into her ice queen attitude and she has to be someone I'm definitely attracted to before I'll go through the trouble of going through or around her ice shield. I find that while girls that are interested will help you out, few will act super interested and validate me that much with compliments.

But it always comes back to the question of how best to get the girl interested/attracted to you in the first place. My experience has shown that approaching a woman usually follows roughly some form of the 90/10 rule. Where the guy has to provide 90 % of the interaction at first and then after reaching hook point she becomes comfortable and/or interested and helps you out and will start doing 90% of the talking a lot of the time. I'm not too sold on this zen stuff.

 

[jophil28]

But it always comes back to the question of how best to get the girl interested/attracted to you in the first place. My experience has shown that approaching a woman usually follows roughly some form of the 90/10 rule. Where the guy has to provide 90 % of the interaction at first and then after reaching hook point she becomes comfortable and/or interested and helps you out and will start doing 90% of the talking a lot of the time. I'm not too
sold on this zen stuff.

Hey Keto, you are right AGAIN ! The man needs to privide 90% of the forward energy initially.. ICe queens are the easiest to melt (and the easiest to piss off) .
I just do something BOLD that shows that I am SELF-PROPELLED and that I am not wiiling to do what others expect of me. It does not really matter what you do as long as it is CONFIDENT and masculine. There are some women who are so f**ked in the head that they object to manly gestures BUT who wants them anyways.

 

[MikeYikes122]

I once hooked up with a girl who said I was the "strong and silent type".

The funny thing is, I'm not that type at all. I was just really drunk and just not talking.

I think the point is, if you carry yourself with confidence and a girl is attracted to you, you're pretty much money. If you're tired and feeling exhausted, you just have to pick your spots.

I think a tendency to over think things can make a guy feel exhausted or not up to gaming a girl as well. I know that is the case with me at least. If I'm feeling like this, I've found the best thing to do is to go into the situation, whether it be a bar or a date, not expecting anything. You also have to remember that it's not as hard or as complicated as some people on this board try to make it. When attracting girls, the equations for success are pretty simple:

Confidence + Looks = attraction
Confidence + Humor = attraction
Confidence + Humor + Looks = You're practically walking on water.

 

[reset]

Confidence + Looks = attraction
Confidence + Humor = attraction
Confidence + Humor + Looks = You're practically walking on water.

Think I'll remember that.

 

[STR8UP]

Str8up, after seeing your, "I'm tired" thread again. I think this thread's for you too. You should maybe go out and do some "tired gaming" :yawn: more often .

I do buddy, I do.

Sometimes saturday comes along and I just don't feel like doing sh!t. But I force myself to go out anyway a lot of the time, cause I don't have to be at work until noon on sunday anyway, and the energy around me usually picks me up enough that I have a good time.