Is not the idea that a person will love you for who you really are just BS?

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by DarkDream, Dec 17, 2001.

  1. DarkDream

    DarkDream Don Juan

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2001
    Messages:
    130
    Likes Received:
    5
    Somehow I got these AFC ideas in mind:

    "Someone will love you for who you are."
    "It's what is inside that really counts."
    "There is a right person out there for you."

    Is this not really just BS told to us like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy (nice child like stories that hide the harsh facts of like from us)?

    What I'm getting at is that a woman really doesn't give a rat's ass (at least at first) whether you are really a good, talented, intelligent, caring, compassionate person (a good person inside). What a woman wants is for you to make her respond *emotionally*. Being confident, controlled and most importantly being a challenge is what a woman *emotionally* responds to. I think she cares more that you can make her laugh rather that you work in charity organizations, are a former buddhist monk or you save peoples' lives.

    In reality, to be a true Don Juan you want to keep her in the dark (mysterious) as to who you are. What you a Don Juan should do is to try as much as possible to *not* reveal anything. Do not reveal anything about yourself or how you feel about her.
    In reality, a woman will not love you for who you are: she will go ahead and get rid of you if she finds out who you are. Why? You become boring to her, she can't fantasize about you or wonder about you.

    The art of seduction is all about creating a mysterious image of yourself where she has no exact clue where she stands with you. You are in effect creating a little mini drama for her to peak her interest; this is all this romance horse ****. And once her interest is peaked she will lay seige to you to find out as much as possible about you and to *destroy* you by trying to control you and demean you. Why does she want to *destroy* you? She wants to destroy you because she wants to find out if her interest is justified (I believe woman hate to repond emotionally to someone -- remember they think themselves as princesses and showing any kind of emotion on some guy is a precious gift -- unless they think he is the goods). She wants to see if you fit her screwed up romantic notions of a "true" man she reads in her trashy romance novels.

    Therefore, she could care less what is "inside". What she wants is some guy who won't put up with her crap, will not let her always get her way, and keeps her on her toes by making her uncertain as whether she has a strangle hold on her guy; he can walk away at any moment.

    In otherwords, to keep a woman you must always keep her on her toes, let her wonder about you to fuel a drama she so craves; her world is boring and she yearns to find excitement.

    This is the American woman: stuck up, spoilt with a chip on her shoulder. With economic independance, she now realizes that she does not need the man to survive. She now has the luxury to simply sit back and say, "Entertain me boys, give me some instant emotional gratification. Make me feel so I can enjoy chasing you and destroying you." Notice that everything evolves around her; she cares only how *she* feels, she only cares if *she* is entertained. Where does the guy fit it? He is only there to make *her* feel. A woman is the *center* of the universe.

    Now what types of thoughts go through this narcissitic vantage point, where everything revolves around her, what type of wants does she have.

    "Things must be my way."
    "I am too good for almost anyone."
    "I need to be worshipped and adored."
    "I need to be showered with attention."

    THIS IS YOUR PRINCESS RIGHT HERE.

    What do you do? You do the exact opposite.

    "Things must be my way." You don't let her get her way all the time. You say it is my way or the highway.

    "I am too good for almost anyone." You show her that she is not too "good" by *not* treating her like a princess. You appear confident like she is one of a thousand chicks you already have had. You don't shower her with gifts and tell her how great she is and so on.

    "I need to be worshipped and adored." You don't make yourself too available. You don't tell her you love her. You don't validate everything she does or says. You treat her as every other person.

    "I need to be showered with attention." You be a challenge to her by showing borderline disinterest. You only go out with her once a week.

    Now, why by doing the exact opposite to her "wants" (jerk ability) makes her respond? Why does the "nice" guy that fills her needs falls by the wayside?

    BY GOING AGAINST HER WISHES YOU ARE CREATING FRICTION. A WOMAN LOVES FRICTION BECAUSE IT IS THE ESSENCE OF DRAMA.

    Friction --> Drama --> Excitement --> Emotions --> Feelings

    What ensues is basically a power struggle. It is a wrestling match. What happens is either the guy looses it (starts giving in) or she becomes so wrapped up in the drama that she can't take it anymore (constant stimulation does lead to exhaustion). Now at this point the woman actually hates the guy because she can't get her way. The funny thing is that she can't leave him because she is so addicted to the excitement he provides her.

    What happens at this stage. The woman responds something like this, "Why do you keep playing games with me. I want this relationship to work. I don't think you take me seriously. Why don't you love me . . . "

    What has the guy effectively done. He has torn down the narcisstic image she once had. He has now become her source of pleasure; she needs him. Because of this need, the foucus now turns away from her onto him. Now she starts thinking these things:

    "Maybe if I let him do things, he won't be so ready to leave me."

    "He doesn't treat me like a princess, I wonder maybe I'm not a princess. Maybe he is better than me."

    "Maybe if I was kinder and giving, he'll show more affection to me."

    "I just want his attention. I want him to say he loves me."

    At this point the woman desperately wants to be validated by a man who has worn her down (won the power struggle). For the first time in her life she is unsure of herself, of who she is and whether she is truly lovable (she wants to be loved by the guy who made her emotionally respond). The guy has effectively taken her away from the center of the universe and created a void. What the woman wants at this stage is for him to fill the void and make her feel she is worthy, lovable and respected.

    Mr. Jerk at this point blows the whole thing (by not showing any respect and affection) and she eventually realizes is that he doesn't really care (is to into his own world) that she can't stand having the void not filled.

    The right guy at this stage then starts to show affection, love, and true respect and he tells her that she has earned it. She starts feeling great because she has started to get something from someone she really wanted (woman do honestly wanted to be treated well and loved, we all do) and it did not come easy. He then goes ahead and fills the void, except this time she is not the center of the universe: he is. At this point she just wants to make him happy. Here the "nice" guy qualities do come in.

    Only possibly at this stage, she will then begin to love you for who you are; she will go ahead and want to really see what her prize is made of. The fact of the matter, is that what is really inside does not count at all in getting a woman, nor making her fall in love with you.

    It's sad but true. A woman can simply love you but not for who you are. This is very disturbing for me.

    What do you guys think?
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. jakethasnake

    jakethasnake Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Messages:
    3,015
    Likes Received:
    2
    What a cruel, sad world we live in. [​IMG]


    [This message has been edited by sosuave.com (edited 12-18-2001).]
     
  3. Take No Dirt

    Take No Dirt Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2001
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Canada
    DarkDream, I commend you for an excellent post! Well thought out and written, dude! Thanks!

    There will be guys here who will become cynical after reading this, but that's stark reality. Girls are illogical, self-centered creatures bent on having things their way. They care less about pleasing a man or what he might feel. It's mainly about her and what she wants.

    A DJ keeps a super gal by not giving her what she wants, but what she needs. She needs that emotional rollercoaster effect in her life or she'll become bored and it's on to the next dude.

    Women! You can't live with them and you can't live without them! Hahahaha!
     
  4. john

    john Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2000
    Messages:
    715
    Likes Received:
    0
    are you an f-in psychologist? based on eveyr article etc. that is EXACTLY how it is. that is extremely hard to do.

    this is also why guys try for these "princess" girls. because of the challenege they present. the nice girls are too easy. we know we can have them so there's no point.
     
  5. Shinji Ikari

    Shinji Ikari Don Juan

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2001
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    DarkDream,

    Great stuff bro. Sad but true, sad but true. I wonder how it all came to this? I mean, I'm not suggesting we revert back to the caveman period and wack women in the head and drag them back to our caves but there's got to be a happy medium between the male dominated caveman era to the female mind fvck time of the present. All this "what's inside that counts" childlish nonsense and is what I'd call loser talk. No, ifs and buts about it, it's all a big fvcking game and you've got to know what your opponents are thinking in order to win. I just feel sorry for the millions out there who still haven't seen the light and am still waiting for "The One" or their fairy tale ending to come. Cuz it won't. I should know, I've waited long enough. I think Sean Connery's character in The Rock said it the best:

    "Your best? Losers always whine about their best; winners go home and fvck the Prom Queen."

    Mason, The Rock

    Words to live by indeed.

    [This message has been edited by Shinji Ikari (edited 12-18-2001).]
     
  6. Jwheatly

    Jwheatly Senior Don Juan

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2001
    Messages:
    239
    Likes Received:
    1
    "Someone will love you for who you are.""

    This is actually true. When you are around a women you are not really your true self. A real person does not let someone walk all over them. I have seen the biggest strongest meanest men turn into little puppy dogs when they are with thier women. They should just be themselves.

    If people just acted like themselves, and did not put on an afc fasade in front of women, they would be natural don juans.

    Being a dj is all about realizing that you don't need to put up an afc front for women. That you can be your natural male self.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. SoSuave.com

    SoSuave.com Administrator

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2000
    Messages:
    3,272
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    Margaritaville
    Some good posts lately.

    Moving to Tips forum.
     
  8. DarkDream

    DarkDream Don Juan

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2001
    Messages:
    130
    Likes Received:
    5
    Good point. When I was referring to the quote, "Someone will love you for who you are," I had my mother in mind (I love my mom, I'm not trying to dish her here) who was trying to tell me that someone would find my AFC qualities attractive and those qualities that distinctly make me DD.

    If you take the angle "that who you are" is your natural male self that puts up with no crap, is assertive, does not apologize for all those qualities that make us a male and a man, I totally agree.

    We all have these male qualities in us, somehow with me they got repressed and got deprogrammed (not too difficult in a feminized society with a lack or real male examples and record number of single moms raising kids).

    Woman do love a real man and that is what we are.

    Thanks for the response.
     
  9. trickynick

    trickynick Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2001
    Messages:
    1,741
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    I have been meaning to say for some time that this is a really great post. DarkDream, you are someone who doesn't really post that often but every time you do it's something really cool! Good work with this, glad to see it's in the DJ Bible.
     
  10. PoachR75

    PoachR75 Senior Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2002
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    DarkDream
    Good post. Sorry guys...this IS how it is. The only problem I really have is that all our DJ techniques seem to be based in "passive-aggressive" psychology. But...you know what? If you DON'T do this stuff, you get women %90 percent less. Fortunately, I am a pragmatist...whatever works, baby. You are not obligated to be lonely and miserable on the basis that most attractive women have the "princess complex" and you feel that you, for the love of god, actually have to accept and respect it! You do not and should not. Women get treated like princesses by their fathers and, because of this, have a feeling of superiority and only will respect a man with similar feelings.
     
  11. 318 Most Hated

    318 Most Hated Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2002
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tha Southside
    Age:
    22
    bump
     
  12. CFH25

    CFH25 Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2002
    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Castaic
    I dont think all women could possibly be this way. Im sure there are allot out there equally in both genders.
     
  13. diplomatic_lies

    diplomatic_lies Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Messages:
    4,381
    Likes Received:
    5
    When I was 13, I thought being hot was all it took.
    When I was 14, I thought being funny was all it took.
    When I was 15, I thought being nice was all it took.

    Wasn't till I was 16 that the ideas from outside started to pour in. I was a brilliant public speaker, confident, and an extremely good negotiator and physically good. However, I lacked challenge. I knew about challenge in negotiation, but I didn't know it for women.


    Anyone who says challenge isn't needed, don't underestimate it! It is truely a great asset to have. I think nearly all of us have made a mistake of thinking that women would like us for being nice, and for our personal qualities.
     
  14. Don_Jon

    Don_Jon Don Juan

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Age:
    15
    I think this post is Gold, because it when comes down to it, this is what really happens. I think that the view of men in the relationship has decreased because of so many "nice guys" giving in all the time. What men need to realize is that we were here first, the world doesnt revolve around women and satisfying their needs. Two thumbs up DarkDream.
     
  15. C-Damage

    C-Damage Don Juan

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2003
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    0
    Age:
    19
    All very well, the tips will certainly work, i know that for definate.

    BUT I dont want a relationship where i have to keep up ridiculas pretences about not likeing a girl i do like and not being interested when i realy am and only seeing this girl that i like once a week so she thinks i dont give a f-uck about her...

    I agree - if you apply all these tips to any princess girl you'l get your one nite of fun or your few week long affir and it'lk probably be realy intense...but you'l still have a ***** on your hands.

    When your down and you want someone to turn to cos you feel like everyone and everything is against you (probably something you will have been hearing from your princess in her attempts to break you down) this will be her que to drive the knife home. You have finaly shown her that yes, you are human, you get mildly depressed when things dont go your way and what you realy need is a good friend to help....

    Thats when you get dumped by your princess. She probably wont even tell you shes dumping you...she'l just look the other way just long enough to tell you...yes its over.








    So realy....should we be working on bedding these women and fulfilling their stupid wants and simply proving their point that yes men are weak and will do /say anything to get sex with them.

    Again - 'your way or the high way' - well my way is hanging out several days a week, my princess will stand me up or lie to me inorder not to hang out more than one day a week (less if you keep on at her) - so realy its HER way or the highway? I dont think anyones gonna find happyness this way...handy for bedding chicks...

    I have bedded chicks this way...its surprisingly easy yes but it doesnt make me happy - infact yeah it makes me very sad. BECAUSE THIS IS SIMPLE STUFF - THOSE FEW LINES UP THERE WILL WORK ; SO ANYONE COULD DO THEM and bed this same girl.

    Its stupid and i dont want another girl whose gonna act like this. I dont have time for it.
     
  16. Reed247

    Reed247 Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2005
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Age:
    22
    Women's games

    I used to think that women would just go for men because of money, looks, etc, but it's really about drama. Look at soap operas, magazines, the lives of movie stars. They tend to have fvcked up relationships, and I truly believe the media is to blame for the minds of young women today. Especially these dykes who go around talking about independence and womens lib.
    If there is no drama in the woman's life, there is nothing to discuss to with their women friends. But women naturally are emotional creatures and thrive on feeling different emotions.
    It is definitely sad but true. Men need to start being in charge. The problem today is that many kids are raised by their mothers, in single family homes. The past generations have really softened up. If you take a look at classic movies from the 1940's you can see how men acted in those days. For example a woman would be whining to a group of men playing cards and the men would just sit there, smoke, drink, and ignore the raving emotional woman. Men in the old days took charge. Men today are brainwashed by all of this homosexual BS thinking. Men today don't seem to know their place and expect to much, with all fairness women expect a lot also. That is why relationships tend to fail these days.
    The best way to win is to create excitement and keep it going, even in long term relationships the challenge and mystery must remain.
     
  17. shydude

    shydude Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2005
    Messages:
    574
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    New York City
    Age:
    18
    Great job!!! really helped me!!! really did!!!
     
  18. Br' Brian

    Br' Brian Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2007
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gosh, just reading all this stuff just makes me happy to be Male.
     
  19. KillaPetehog

    KillaPetehog Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2005
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    84
    Location:
    LA
    Age:
    34
    I disagree.

    How is this AFC? This is the truth. The truth is that there is someone out there who will like you if you just be yourself.

    And if you want to put a mask over yourself, and let a woman love this fake side then what the fuk are you on this earth for? Do you want to spend your whole life living a lie?

    It is what’s inside that counts. Fuk what she thinks. Fuk what anybody thinks. Fuk what the world thinks. What matters is what you fuking think. And the sad fact of the matter is that you have placed your value so low to think that YOU DON’T count. And if you think that, then that WILL be true.

    I think you missed the entire point here. A guy who does that isn’t out there to TRY to get a woman. A woman wants sexuality and NONE of those guys that you mentioned are men who are SEXUAL or who are out there TAKING ACTION, GETTING OUT THERE. It’s not the fact that women don’t like “kindness”, it’s that those men don't emanate sexuality. And OBVIOUSLY, you need more than just being nice, you have TO SHOW her that YOU WANT HER. That's all it takes! Let the rest follow. If she wants you for who you are, then it's all good. If not, that's cool too. But a fuking joke is when you act like someone you aren't. Because you KNOW you can't put up this front forever. You are a fake and you will always be a fake if you think like this.

    What a crock of fuking shyt. What, so do you live a fuking lie? Do you act like something you’re not? That’s a load of shyt, man. Think about how your mom and your dad got together. Do you think your dad acted like something that he isn’t? The key isn’t ACTING LIKE somebody else. No. The key is that YOU don’t ACT like somebody, but YOU BECOME THE MAN that you SHOULD be. You become better than who you are. You don’t act like a fuking piece of shyt. No. You just become better. The key is in maturity. It is through growth, that you become a better person. THE MAN WHO JUST SITS on his ass all day in front of a computer is gonna get no puzzy. He has his whole objectives wrong! The man who WILL succeed is a man who gets out there and does it! And you don’t have to act like a fake. You don’t act great, YOU BECOME great.

    You don’t follow Mystery method, David Deangelo or any other bullshyt pickup artist.


    RATHER, you just BECOME YOU..and EXCEL in what you were given. It’s NOT about ACTING LIKE somebody else. It’s not about the fact that a woman won’t love you for who you are. It’s that YOU become THE BEST that you can be and you work every FUKINg DAY OF your life to become the best that you can.

    I feel sorry every person all of y'all who acts like something they aren't.

    Why is it so hard for people to understand?

    Just be you.

    And just be a man.


    None of this fake bullshyt. Because a woman can tell if you're being fake.


    And I hate to be blunt, but the problem is NOT you.

    It's HER.

    and YOU.

    because you chose a superficial, materialistic hoe like that.

    This is what happens when you try to attract a woman with pickup lines and with THINGS. You get a woman with daddy issues and emotional baggage.
     
  20. Raikojo17

    Raikojo17 Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2006
    Messages:
    994
    Likes Received:
    5
    Age:
    18
    the truth
     

Share This Page