I was a virgin at 21 and at 23 I have slept with 12 women but now I'm mentally ruined.

[pipeman84]

@pipeman84 I guess I don't agree that guys who just banged tons of these trash bag h0es like @Desdinova accurately points out are going to be content with a prudish "good girl" who won't do a quarter of what these h0es were willing to do.

There are further implications beyond a girl just deciding she is going to open her legs and do a million different things. There is a manner of communication, and a way a man has to present himself to be attractive to these type of women so that they are willing to do so.

I guess in the same manner that you can't turn a h0e into a housewife, I am skeptical you can turn a player into a "dad-mode" type of guy who will be a good family man and encourage family values with his traditional wife.

I agree with you, generally speaking a player is on a different vibration from a good girl. Moreover, he doesn't even believe she exists and mocks the concept.
But as I said in post #37, a celebrity who has girls throwing themselves at him or a wealthy guy who pays for good looking escorts are not really players in my view.

 

[CornbreadFed]

@DreamAgain wants to pretend that there's no deceptive marketing tactics that lead vulnerable men like OP down a rabbit hole. Someone posted this guy's video in a topic or something and I clicked it and immediately left out of disinterest. Now, this guy's videos are suddenly appearing on my suggested feed. I decided to listen to this one just to see what he had to say, and it ended up being complete nonsense. However, I can definitely see someone like OP falling for this crap because I fell for it too at his age when I was vulnerable & inexperienced.

 

[DreamAgain]

I agree with you, generally speaking a player is on a different vibration from a good girl. Moreover, he doesn't even believe she exists and mocks the concept.
But as I said in post #37, a celebrity who has girls throwing themselves at him or a wealthy guy who pays for good looking escorts are not really players in my view.

Ok, but why would the experiences of the top 0.0001% of the population be useful in terms of anything we are talking about? None of us here are celebrity millionaires, nor will we ever be.

 

[pipeman84]

Ok, but why would the experiences of the top 0.0001% of the population be useful in terms of anything we are talking about? None of us here are celebrity millionaires, nor will we ever be.

You don't have to be a top footballer or multi millionaire to have women practically fall into your lap. Now it's perfectly fine if one doesn't want to engage when the situation occurs. But to believe that refraining from having sex in such instances is going to positively affect the female virgin population or increase your ability to spot and connect to a quality girl doesn't make sense to me.

 

[DreamAgain]

You don't have to be a top footballer or multi millionaire to have women practically fall into your lap. Now it's perfectly fine if one doesn't want to engage when the situation occurs. But to believe that refraining from having sex in such instances is going to positively affect the female virgin population or increase your ability to spot and connect to a quality girl doesn't make sense to me.

I mean, maybe your SMV is high enough where you have hot women falling into your lap. This is very, very far from the norm. There was even a thread here recently about upper tier guys settling for women significantly worse for them for long term relationships. That is the trend, not the exception.

The statistics tell me that you are in the very strict minority of upper tier men if that is the case, so happy for you in that case.

I've only had mid women literally throw themselves at me, where I at a point stopped caring at all and rejected them when I started raising my standards.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Let’s be honest with ourselves… such a ‘conquest’ is really nothing but stupid ego. And yes, I can laugh at myself on this one. It’s really no different than a woman posting on social media and receiving validation. Most members here refuse to look at their own hypocrisy, but this mentality behavior is really no different than a woman’s behavioral mentality.

I went thru a lot of women before I finally realized that. I now realize I have a power and appreciate what I am capable of. I don't need to convince myself and rub my own ego anymore.

I just wanted to cheer up this kid (op) and I feel things got somehow derailed but Ok, thanks for your replies. When I reach your age, I will probably agree 100% with you, I will let you know.

 

[Maximus002]

Hey bro,

It's clear that you've been doing some deep reflection on various aspects of your life, particularly in your relationships with women and your social circle. I want to commend you for your honesty and courage in sharing your thoughts and struggles.

As I read through your post, I couldn't help but notice some patterns of thinking that might be contributing to your challenges. It seems like you're experiencing what psychologists call cognitive distortions, which are common thinking errors that can lead to negative emotions and behaviors. I'd like to offer some insights on these distortions in the hopes that it might help you navigate through these difficult times.

Firstly, it's important to recognize the tendency for all-or-nothing thinking. Viewing women as either "sluts" or worthy of respect based on perceived sexual behavior is overly simplistic and doesn't account for the complexity of human relationships. People are multidimensional, and it's unfair to categorize them based on one aspect of their lives.

Similarly, overgeneralization can lead to skewed perceptions. Just because you've had negative experiences with some women doesn't mean that all women fit into the same category. Each person is unique, and it's important to approach them with an open mind and without preconceived judgments.

It's also worth considering the role of emotional reasoning in shaping your beliefs and behaviors. Negative emotions such as disgust and mistrust can cloud your judgment and lead to biased interpretations of situations. It's essential to challenge these emotions and examine whether they're based on objective reality or distorted perceptions.

Furthermore, labeling others with derogatory terms like "slut" is not only hurtful but also unproductive. It's important to treat others with respect and empathy, regardless of their choices or behaviors. People deserve to be seen as individuals, not reduced to stereotypes or labels.

Lastly, I want to emphasize the importance of seeking support and guidance during challenging times. Therapy or counseling can provide valuable insights and strategies for addressing cognitive distortions and improving overall well-being. It takes courage to ask for help, but it can lead to significant growth and positive changes in your life.

I hope you find these insights helpful as you continue your journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Remember, you're not alone in this, and there are people who care about your well-being. Keep pushing forward, and don't hesitate to reach out if you need support along the way.

well said

 

[BadBoy89]

- I'm 23 and have slept with 12 women in the past 2 years..
- Today, I have a job as a SOC analysts making $65k a year. On the women side of things, things have gotten better.
- I'm currently seeing 3 women, dating and sex.
- I haven't and don't plan on committing to any of these women because that would take time away from my career progression. I have also joined the gym and I'm at 73kg.

That's $5,416 before taxes. We will say taxes is 30%. That's $4,000 after taxes. Now if you are seeing 3 women for dating and sex, you couldn't have a roommate, you would have to be living alone, To have a decent place nice 1 bedroom in a good area would cost at last $1,500 / month. That's $2,500 remaining. If are making love to 3 women you would have to have a car, you couldn't be with them with a bus pass. With $2,500 it would have to be a Honda Civic or something. That would run about $1,000 / month, with car payments, insurance, registration, gas and tires, You are left $1,500 / month. Now you have to eat. Eating healthy and being ripped to make love 3 women would cost at least $125 / week. Make it $1,000 / month. Now Misc unexpected expense / items, clothes, shoes, snacks, coffee, dentist, doctor, health care stuff, etc. We would could maybe another $500 / month. You are left with $500 / month. Now assuming you want to save each month; $200 / month. You are left with $300 / month. That's $75 / week. That's $25 / girl / week.

I ordered a Big Mac meal the other day, upsized the Fries and Drink. Cost me $15.34. You are making love to 3 hot girls a week spending 10 more dollars. Impressive.

I tried making friends but most of them talk nothing but bs.

What do you talk about? Fundamental issues that threaten human existence?

I tried making friends with similar interest, but they're all geeks doing IT stuff in their bedroom and never leave the house.

Aren't you IT too?

I even told one girl, "You're nothing but a slut to me. Where I'm going there's no place for sluts like you, I don't want to see you again".

And you only got laid 12 times in 2 years? Damn.

I want to have kids and a wife eventually but what's the point of improving myself and busting my ass on my career if I'm going to end up with a woman that has slept with 8 other men? I rather be alone.

I also masturbate and watch porn on X, 2-3 a week. This is also part of the problem that I'm trying to fix but it has been hard.

I realized that I'm heading towards an unhealthy life (at least when it comes to women) and I came here to ask for help.

Bro you laid it on too thick for this to be real.

 

[BPH]

Having read nothing other than the OP I just want to weigh in on some things.

First of all, not having friends. Yeah I'm there, but that's because you realize how unreliable a lot of people are. I make friends easily, but they're all based on proximity - usually work or the gym, and if either of those environments change we just naturally fade out because I'm no longer seeing those people on a regular basis.

I've had some good friends. Usually they either get into a relationship and I never see them again, or they wrong me in some way (one of my best friends at the time brought an ex of mine back to our hotel and had sex with her in the bed next to me and the other guys we came with). Right now I consider my best friend to be my brother, and I don't find that depressing - just how it is.

Who do I impress by having a lot of friends? I have plenty of people I'm friendly with and on good terms with, but I know not to really rely on most people because they will disappoint you.

As far as women, I think your problem is you're coming from a place of contempt; you lost your virginity late, had sex with (in your eyes) a lot of women in a short timeframe, and now you probably are disgusted by how easy it is when you make some changes.

You probably feel like you're late to the party and pissed because you realize how easy it was to get in.

Personally, I know not to fully trust most women, and am not delusional to the fact that there are several other guys vying for her attention at any given time. You are choosing to fixate on that, rather than realize it is what it is while continuing to live your life.

I love women. Some are sluts. Some are faithful. Some are bitches. Some are wonderful. They're just like any other person. You have to love women, right now you don't, you hate them because you missed out on something that everybody else got, and now that you have it, you realize how easy it was to get.

That's my opinion.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Quantity does not equal quality. Something you haven't seemed to grasp yet.

Once you find a quality woman perhaps your mindset will change.

But you have to be able to attract one first. It doesn't sound like most of these women fit that bill.

Up your standards with women, that's how you'll find it. You sound like you are at the "stick my d!ck in any woman that gives me the time of day" phase right now.

 

[Macadellic]

You like to workout so join a CrossFit box, you’ll make friends there and meet women. The CrossFit community has outings and gatherings so this will improve your social life.

 

[inquisitor]

A young adult male craving pvssy that he is entirely shut off from can be highly vulnerable to brainwashing tactics lol.

Maybe less brainwashing, and more irresponsibility with the application of gained wisdom, and being inundated with trivial pursuits that the brain has become accustomed to weaker critical thinking.

 

[Mike32ct]

What sometimes happens is guys that lost their virginity “late” feel the need to “make up for lost time,” and/or they feel like they have “something to prove.”

I fell in that trap too back in the day. I felt like I had a “score to settle.”

But, as the other posters alluded to, it’s just ego driven and probably not the best use of one’s time.

Your lay count has no cash value. Think about career/$.