Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I am drunk an about to go on a coffee date..

Reyaj

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Yep, I # closed a hot Russian uber drive and am about to meet her for coffee. I was feeling out of it today so I just had about 3 drinks... should be interesting lol
 

Reyaj

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yo reyaj,

after the coffee, ask her if she wants to grab some liquor. Then hit up a local spot by the lake and try to fvck her
oh man I wish Bradd... This girl actually doesn't drink which is why I made it a coffee date. It went bad.. she got their first and was ordering her coffee in the line. She gave me a one handed hug and I wasn't sure if I should have offered to pay for her coffee or not... She had already just ordered from the cashier, I could have interjected like I got this but I let her pay and then ordered my own lol Maybe this turned her off who knows. If we had gotten there at the same time I would have gotten it but whatever

Anyway she kept looking away often and was really relying on me to drive the conversation, after a bit she said she was going to get going, I did sort of DHV with a business operation I have but thats another story. I walked outside with her got the one handed hug and she left. I basically felt I was out here so for the hell of it I texted her later and told her it was nice meeting her and mentioned the business opp. She didn't answer.. For the hell of it I might ask her if she wants to get together this week but I don't expect anything.

oh and anyone who is going to respond what an afc move that was texting her right after or some bs just please stfu ahead of time, thanks lol
 

Solomon

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oh man I wish Bradd... This girl actually doesn't drink which is why I made it a coffee date. It went bad.. she got their first and was ordering her coffee in the line. She gave me a one handed hug and I wasn't sure if I should have offered to pay for her coffee or not... She had already just ordered from the cashier, I could have interjected like I got this but I let her pay and then ordered my own lol Maybe this turned her off who knows. If we had gotten there at the same time I would have gotten it but whatever

Anyway she kept looking away often and was really relying on me to drive the conversation, after a bit she said she was going to get going, I did sort of DHV with a business operation I have but thats another story. I walked outside with her got the one handed hug and she left. I basically felt I was out here so for the hell of it I texted her later and told her it was nice meeting her and mentioned the business opp. She didn't answer.. For the hell of it I might ask her if she wants to get together this week but I don't expect anything.

oh and anyone who is going to respond what an afc move that was texting her right after or some bs just please stfu ahead of time, thanks lol
Sounds like low interest....I would just keep it moving
 

FwoGiZ

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You did a lot wrong :X

I might or might not pay for first drink but in my experience, it doesn't really matter if there is interest, there is interest. I had a girl admit (later on in our relationship) before that she thought it was rude how I asked to split bills on first date... I still banged her on second date.

If a girl wants to shake my hand, or just a "friendly" hug, I laugh, shrug and give her a real hug OR I literally tell her that I am French and explain how we do it here (1 kiss each cheek). Breaks the ice and sends the msg that I am not here to be her friend.

Her getting there first is perfectly fine... why she decided to order a coffee without waiting for you would tell me she doesn't really care which starts quite on the wrong foot but at that point, it really isn't your fault. I would have literally asked her "Oh nice you already ordered! What did you get me?" in a C&F way obviously.

As a guy, I try to lead the conversation, ask her about HER. I do not make it about me. I do a LOT of eye contact to the point where she'd feel really weird to be looking around.

The DHV at that point was lame I am guessing... I find it easier to make it about them that me. DHV is tricky because if it's blatant, it seems as bragging... you can't just bring it up straight up IMO.

I always try to be the one saying "Ok, I gtg" and I never text back right away... usually I wait 24-48hrs.

But ya... you're such an afc :p jk ;)
 

BeTheChange

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oh and anyone who is going to respond what an afc move that was texting her right after or some bs just please stfu ahead of time, thanks lol
LOL.

You know what mate. At least you got out there and tried and that's the important thing. Keep moving forward and learning.

If something doesn't work a few times, switch up until you find what does.
 

speed dawg

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oh man I wish Bradd... This girl actually doesn't drink which is why I made it a coffee date. It went bad.. she got their first and was ordering her coffee in the line. She gave me a one handed hug and I wasn't sure if I should have offered to pay for her coffee or not... She had already just ordered from the cashier, I could have interjected like I got this but I let her pay and then ordered my own lol Maybe this turned her off who knows. If we had gotten there at the same time I would have gotten it but whatever

Anyway she kept looking away often and was really relying on me to drive the conversation, after a bit she said she was going to get going, I did sort of DHV with a business operation I have but thats another story. I walked outside with her got the one handed hug and she left. I basically felt I was out here so for the hell of it I texted her later and told her it was nice meeting her and mentioned the business opp. She didn't answer.. For the hell of it I might ask her if she wants to get together this week but I don't expect anything.

oh and anyone who is going to respond what an afc move that was texting her right after or some bs just please stfu ahead of time, thanks lol
Nobody will criticize you if you're out in the field trying, man. And, if you really are not emotionally invested, I see no reason NOT to text her even after you think it's all lost.

The reason we tell most guys not to do that is because they are too vested. Truly not GAF changes the game. Even still, your course of action in that date probably won't get you much p*ssy in general, but at least you've now learned that lesson. Her IL was never there in the first place though, it sounds like, but at least she showed up. Did you give off some bad body language or something?
 

guru1000

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Nobody will criticize you if you're out in the field trying, man. And, if you really are not emotionally invested, I see no reason NOT to text her even after you think it's all lost.
As you become a seasoned vet, you develop a skillset, among other things, to know when not to waste your time. He has just about a 0% probability here for a second date. Her looking around and not at him is a clear indicator of non-interest.

Your confidence is equal to the sum of your validations and de-validations. No need to de-validate oneself for a lost cause. As much as we preach DGAF, de-validation undermines your DGAF mindset. I have NEXTed tons of hot women for texts they sent that I didn't find that appealing, although they had clear medium IL. True DGAF is walking away from women who are not fully deferential or don't bring their best behavior forward.

When you are a man of high value, you treat yourself with a mountain of self-respect. If a woman does not reciprocate that respect (especially in the beginning), she gets the boot. The goal is not laying all hot women, rather laying hot women who have earned it.
 
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guru1000

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I would agree with this. I normally walk around with limitless validation and that is the real cause of not giving a fvck. It is the abundance that drives me to make out with a chick without saying a word, not because I don't care about rejection. You have to be 100% sociopathic and the synapses in your brain doesn't really connect for you to be able to go up to a chick and make out with her without feelings of absolute entitlement. I always preach entitlement and narcissism over doing things because "she already rejected you." One leads to delusions of grandeur, the other leads to low self esteem.
Nothing shakes up a hot woman more than getting NEXTed for mediocre behavior that she has been conditioned to believe is fitting, as most men will deal with such behavior.

I attribute a man's true value to how much crap he is not willing to entertain from people (not just women) in his personal life. A man of true abundance or DGAF could care less about women who demonstrate less-than-perfect behavior, as he has harems of hot women who will fully defer and honor him. I choose to honor myself first--and people second--and this is the primary motivator of my overall success in life. Implicit in this superlative honor of self is a certain level of deference/respect that I expect people to treat me with.
 
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speed dawg

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As you become a seasoned vet, you develop a skillset, among other things, to know when not to waste your time. He has just about a 0% probability here for a second date. Her looking around and not at him is a clear indicator of non-interest.

Your confidence is equal to the sum of your validations and de-validations. No need to de-validate oneself for a lost cause. As much as we preach DGAF, de-validation undermines your DGAF mindset. I have NEXTed tons of hot women for texts they sent that I didn't find that appealing, although they had clear medium IL. True DGAF is walking away from women who are not fully deferential or don't bring their best behavior forward.

When you are a man of high value, you treat yourself with a mountain of self-respect. If a woman does not reciprocate that respect (especially in the beginning), she gets the boot. The goal is not laying all hot women, rather laying hot women who have earned it.
Good points, I can't argue.
 

Solomon

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Nothing shakes up a hot woman more than getting NEXTed for mediocre behavior that she has been conditioned to believe is fitting, as most men will deal with such behavior.

I attribute a man's true value to how much crap he is not willing to entertain from people (not just women) in his personal life. A man of true abundance or DGAF could care less about women who demonstrate less-than-perfect behavior, as he has harems of hot women who will fully defer and honor him. I choose to honor myself first--and people second--and this is the primary motivator of my overall success in life. Implicit in this superlative honor of self is a certain level of deference/respect that I expect people to treat me with.

*Claps*

Not to sound gass'd but Guru is one of the few members I would love to meet in real life.
Buy him a drink at a high end lounge in San Diego Or Miami and just pick his brain on life

This guy is on another level
 

Reyaj

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Sounds like low interest....I would just keep it moving
Definitely was low interest, the looking away and the fact that she vocalized leaving first are signs I can corrobarate as negative signs through past experiences.

You did a lot wrong :X

I might or might not pay for first drink but in my experience, it doesn't really matter if there is interest, there is interest. I had a girl admit (later on in our relationship) before that she thought it was rude how I asked to split bills on first date... I still banged her on second date.

If a girl wants to shake my hand, or just a "friendly" hug, I laugh, shrug and give her a real hug OR I literally tell her that I am French and explain how we do it here (1 kiss each cheek). Breaks the ice and sends the msg that I am not here to be her friend.

Her getting there first is perfectly fine... why she decided to order a coffee without waiting for you would tell me she doesn't really care which starts quite on the wrong foot but at that point, it really isn't your fault. I would have literally asked her "Oh nice you already ordered! What did you get me?" in a C&F way obviously.

As a guy, I try to lead the conversation, ask her about HER. I do not make it about me. I do a LOT of eye contact to the point where she'd feel really weird to be looking around.

The DHV at that point was lame I am guessing... I find it easier to make it about them that me. DHV is tricky because if it's blatant, it seems as bragging... you can't just bring it up straight up IMO.

I always try to be the one saying "Ok, I gtg" and I never text back right away... usually I wait 24-48hrs.

But ya... you're such an afc :p jk ;)
Yeah I agree with you. The only thing about the paying thing is that is was awkward, I walked right in was she was paying at the cashier, she even asked me if I wanted anything and I told her I was still deciding and that I'd just get my own. I think it's more of the awkwardness of the situation that might put the date into a bade frame. As far as the strategy, yes I always ask about her, the eye contact is good too although I find they get a little weird if you keep holding a strong gaze at them 100% of the time, I think looking away every now and again is good. But I am thinking either the awkwardness of this put the date into a bad frame or she just wasn't keen on my looks. I # closed this girl in an uber ride so she really didn't get a good look at me when I initially did it. Then I got her on the phone and had good phone game so I guess I got her interest up. And yeah I all for leading the conversation but usually girls who have IL talk a lot more and don't look around. Whatever she was just a plate!

LOL.

You know what mate. At least you got out there and tried and that's the important thing. Keep moving forward and learning.

If something doesn't work a few times, switch up until you find what does.
The thing I am finding is that the same thing doesn't work all the time and on every woman. However in my study I am trying to pinpoint some fundamentals. I need to really start writing all this soon (been saying this for over a year now!)

Nobody will criticize you if you're out in the field trying, man. And, if you really are not emotionally invested, I see no reason NOT to text her even after you think it's all lost.

The reason we tell most guys not to do that is because they are too vested. Truly not GAF changes the game. Even still, your course of action in that date probably won't get you much p*ssy in general, but at least you've now learned that lesson. Her IL was never there in the first place though, it sounds like, but at least she showed up. Did you give off some bad body language or something?
Oh people will and do criticise me lol, It's all good I'm really writing all this stuff for myself. If others can benefit great, but haters are going to hate no matter what. I did end up texting her again on either Sunday or MOnday asking how her weekend was... No response... I texted her on Tuesday that she needs to get some glasses.

I think she had IL or she wouldn't have bothered meeting up with me in the first place. I don't think my body language was really bad or different than when i've been out with other girls and hooked up. I think just the awkwardness of that whole I didn't offer to pay for her coffee scenario or just might have not felt that "spark" or "chemistry" - This is what i'm really trying to learn about though because I feel a girl generally decides within a few seconds or a minute of meeting you if you have a shot (see attractive doctor's theory on attraction post I made). Some of this might relate well with Des's high score theory as their spark driver in looks is developed early on by someone who made an impression perhaps?

As you become a seasoned vet, you develop a skillset, among other things, to know when not to waste your time. He has just about a 0% probability here for a second date. Her looking around and not at him is a clear indicator of non-interest.

Your confidence is equal to the sum of your validations and de-validations. No need to de-validate oneself for a lost cause. As much as we preach DGAF, de-validation undermines your DGAF mindset. I have NEXTed tons of hot women for texts they sent that I didn't find that appealing, although they had clear medium IL. True DGAF is walking away from women who are not fully deferential or don't bring their best behavior forward.

When you are a man of high value, you treat yourself with a mountain of self-respect. If a woman does not reciprocate that respect (especially in the beginning), she gets the boot. The goal is not laying all hot women, rather laying hot women who have earned it.
I agree. I am pretty seasoned though, I know this girl (along with several have talked to recently) aren't worth my time. I knew the her looking around and mentioning to leave first were also IODs..

Your words regarding confidence being equal to the sum of validations and devalidations is interesting though.. This has and is actually true for me, but I kept trying not to be outcome dependent.. So I try to rationalize my shortcomings with females to a degree. I honestly think overall I am pretty decent in this game, I have hooked up with a lot of attractive girls but admittedly I definitely don't get on base as much as I strike out, but I still get on base at times. Besides don't the best hitters in baseball bat 300? Your words regarding being a man of high value are true and I'm starting to really come to the realization that this is the philosophy I should have (and I do feel this way often). Still I want to experiment w little more with female attraction interactions so I can gain more empirical data and not just theory that is read here.

What is DGAF? I'm not around here often enough to know this acronym but would appreciate if you can explain.

I would agree with this. I normally walk around with limitless validation and that is the real cause of not giving a fvck. It is the abundance that drives me to make out with a chick without saying a word, not because I don't care about rejection. You have to be 100% sociopathic and the synapses in your brain doesn't really connect for you to be able to go up to a chick and make out with her without feelings of absolute entitlement. I always preach entitlement and narcissism over doing things because "she already rejected you." One leads to delusions of grandeur, the other leads to low self esteem.
I've had this mindset for a bit as well but I may be finding that escalating physically too soon might actually turn a girl off that you genuinely like. I am in a relationship so it doesn't bother me so much, in these scenarios I feel like I'm playing with house money when escalating physically. Still I am wondering if maybe this is turning some women off.
 

Reyaj

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Nothing shakes up a hot woman more than getting NEXTed for mediocre behavior that she has been conditioned to believe is fitting, as most men will deal with such behavior.

I attribute a man's true value to how much crap he is not willing to entertain from people (not just women) in his personal life. A man of true abundance or DGAF could care less about women who demonstrate less-than-perfect behavior, as he has harems of hot women who will fully defer and honor him. I choose to honor myself first--and people second--and this is the primary motivator of my overall success in life. Implicit in this superlative honor of self is a certain level of deference/respect that I expect people to treat me with.
I agree with this regarding one's internal happiness, however attractive women are in such demand that often they hardly give a f in my opinion.

Yeah that is the way it is supposed to be. When you are a high status guy in a social tribe, all women defer to you. This is what guys on this forum don't get. There is no game. There is only taking women or disqualifying them. The only thing close to seduction that exists is sexual tension.

When there is no sexual tension, I leave. I don't try to chase her. For me, the only way I can get validated is through sex and sexual tension. It is what I get out of bed for. If the woman is ice cold, I get up without even saying a word. If I was the OP, I would have been like "Is that a spider over there?" As soon as the woman turns around, I would get up and walk out.
Agree, and once I complete my experimentation I reckon this will be my mindset.

*Claps*

Not to sound gass'd but Guru is one of the few members I would love to meet in real life.
Buy him a drink at a high end lounge in San Diego Or Miami and just pick his brain on life

This guy is on another level
I'd actually be down to go sarging with any of you. Though I have a feeling many would prefer sitting behind a keyboard, and that's perfectly fine
 

Atom Smasher

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The answer to this conundrum lies in the title of this thread.
 

Reyaj

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The answer to this conundrum lies in the title of this thread.
haha. Nah I actually think it might help my game overall, I've been doing it a lot.
 
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