Hi,
Thanks for the answer.
Here is the whole story up to now:
I allow myself to write to you, because I stumbled almost by chance on a very good video of you, and I know you had made others.
This is not the subject of my email, although it is the same subject.
Subsequently, in a next email, I would like to ask you about your videos.
Here, I would like to talk about an experience I had, and I would appreciate your views and recommendations.
That's it, I'm working away from home, and therefore I stay in a hotel, and I eat at night in a restaurant in town.
I go to a Greek restaurant from time to time, where the waitresses are generally friendly and welcoming.
This is the reason for my diligence.
I am doing this experiment for several months, at most at one meal a week.
However, I avoid going too often to not give the impression of being "sticky".
In this restaurant, there is a waitress who I like a lot. It is essentially a physical atraction.
I appreciate the fact that it does not push for consumption, contrary to what one would expect.
While performing the service by wearing and removing the dishes, she is also the only one who viciously took the initiative to talk to me.
Shyness, because she is at her workplace, I never dared to talk to her first.
But also because I did not want to "force" things, I did not want to look like a "needy". I assumed that we had to give some time.
She remembered from time to time that I was French, and that I was traveling for work.
For my part, I managed to know her name, that she was a sports coach, and that she worked as a waitress in this restaurant to help her girlfriend, who is actually the owner.
She even asked me what hotel I stayed, which surprised me a lot.
And that, in her spare time she also did sports and meet her friends (she did not give more details).
At first, I was not comfortable because I admit to being very surprised. This kind of experience in a restaurant (or cafe) had never happened before.
I confess I have not always been able to answer in the best way, ecnore once, by surprise, by non-preparation perhaps.
It always happened when she did the service, that there were not too many people, or that there were not too many people around me.
I really feel, when she took the initiative for the communication not to have to be with her, to maintain this conversation, to make her interested, even though it would have been my wish .
I have neither talent nor knowledge in seduction, but, I can not detach myself from this strong impression (it remains of course very subjective), to have missed a "stage", an "oportunity", that it handed me a "perch".
I have the feeling that if a woman gives a signal of interest to a man, and that man does not react, or not at all, or too late (according to her), that it ends, it is without return.
Although all the waitresses greet the guests who enter the restaurant, she is practically the only one who greets me, even if she does not serve me or take care of me.
It makes her attractive to me.
The last time she started talking to me about four weeks ago.
I was practically alone alone on the terrace, it was not visible from the inside of the restaurant, and from the inside bar.
She asked me how I was going, and I did the same. I told him that my project was coming to an end soon, and that after that I would go back home.
She asked me if I was going back, and I told her that I did not know, that it depended on the projects / contracts that my employer could have, since I work as a consultant.
The conversation then stopped because she was called for service on her headset.
Since then I've been back every week until yesterday, but as there are many people, all the waitresses are very busy running right or left.
She was stationed at the bar, and so does not do the service.
I only got a "Hi" from him when I walked down the bar, out of the bathroom.
I find it a little embarrassing to "force" communication. She, but also the other waitresses are all working, and activating.
Her friends passed by, they greeted each other, kissed, and stayed at the bar for a while (I could not see if they had come to consume, but I do not think so).
When the bar was free again, I went there. I asked her for a glass of water, jokingly, telling her that I did not want to disturb her (she looked so busy), and I admit it, with the pretext of seeing her up close. .
But I did not feel she wanted to talk to me. She even lowered her eyes as she handed me the glass.
So I did not manage to look in the eyes (eyes-contact).
I went back to my place with the feeling that there was nothing I could do or try to do.
I think the only (decent) way to talk to her without "straining" in this resturant is when she does the service, that she wears or removes the dishes.
I would like to see her outside her workplace, that we can do something together.
At the same time, I know so little about her.
Let me explain. Of course, she still pleases me, I do not know at all if I'm interested, and I do not want to be a needy man.
I keep my pride, if I may say so. This may not be the right approach, but I assume (perhaps unfounded) that it is not up to the man to do everything.
I find it very difficult to show interest in a woman who works in a bar or restaurant.
These kind of women are at work, they work, and it's part of their role to be nice and nice.
My friends think it's not a good idea to be interested in a waitress, and that I'd better give up.
So I am at this moment, on a back taste.
I have the impression that women can give a positive signal, and the next moment a negative signal.
I would have two more times in two weeks the opportunity to return to this restaurant (I do not plan to go every day).
I can not guess what she thinks, whether she's attracted to me or not.
Having tried to summarize the whole story, what do you advise me to do? What do you think?
- Did I really miss a "pole" she was trying to stretch out?
- Is it without a return?
- Is it catching up, if it really was a "pole" she handed me?
- Do I get ideas or not?
- Have I acted well or not to reach my goal?
- What can I do to be sure?
- Is it a good or bad idea to "force" education, especially if it is very busy or in demand?
- I am, alas, very limited in time, I have more margin of hesitation, what can I do?
- Do you advise me to drop everything, that it's not worth it, that I get ideas?
- I really want to meet her outside of her workplace. What can I do to help him understand in such a limited time?
Thanks in advance for your advice.
