How do you respond to a date offer being turned down

[Exoduso]

I was wondering, in general, how you would respond to a girl that says she's busy on a particular day you're asking her out on.
The list of excuses can go forever obviously, but especially within the first couple of dates, how do you bounce it back at her? Do you wait for her to bring up an alternative or pursue you? Or do you just say alright, tuck your tail and ask again in a few days?

I've done both before and both seemed to work fine, I was just wondering what all you DJs do in these situations... this is assuming, of course, that she didn't offer a reschedule when you asked.

 

[Epimanes]

IS this a rhetorical question?

Have you read the DJ bible?

IMHO you have made your interest clear. Shes aware. Now .. leave it in her ball park and go make yourself busy. Dont chase her like a puppy dog.

*rolls eyes*

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I was wondering, in general, how you would respond to a girl that says she's busy on a particular day you're asking her out on.
The list of excuses can go forever obviously, but especially within the first couple of dates, how do you bounce it back at her? Do you wait for her to bring up an alternative or pursue you? Or do you just say alright, tuck your tail and ask again in a few days?

I've done both before and both seemed to work fine, I was just wondering what all you DJs do in these situations... this is assuming, of course, that she didn't offer a reschedule when you asked.

If a chick turned down a certain day I'd simply tell her we'll reschedule in the future and not worry about it. I've got my own life to worry about so does she. (it depends on the excuse and if it sounds legit.)

Though if we set up another date and she couldn't make it I'd simply move on. If she called or wanted to meet up after that second reschedule? I'd be at the point where the chick was nothing more than a jump off, meet, escalate and then go ghost never bothering with her again.

 

[visions]

IS this a rhetorical question?

Have you read the DJ bible?

IMHO you have made your interest clear. Shes aware. Now .. leave it in her ball park and go make yourself busy. Dont chase her like a puppy dog.

*rolls eyes*

yup, the dj bible explains it

 

[pdx1138]

Look, it's a simple thing...

If she doesn't accept for WHATEVER reason and DOES NOT make a counter offer....you move on.

 

[Exoduso]

How about if she does make a counter offer? Do you go for that time or reschedule past it.

 

[pdx1138]

me personally, if I really do have solid plans already, I let her know then counter offer since the ball is in my court.

don't counter-offer her counter-offer just for the sake of a delay.

I had one situation where we couldn't meet any time soon with a time that worked so I just nexted her and I never heard back.
She was probably playing games (20 yr old). $hit testing me to see how desperate I was for the fun of it. I didn't comply.

An interested chick will cancel her own plans to see you if the thought of going out with you makes her vag tingle.
I had one actually tell me she felt "tingly" thinking about when she'd see me next. It was the first time I'd ever heard of that
(prior to finding this forum).

 

[bluenorther]

There's no solid Rule for this. What if she shows solid interest, but like MOST women, doesn't know that she's supposed to make a counteroffer? Women can be even more clueless than men are.

When you hit her up for a date, you're supposed to already have something in mind. If that particular plan won't work, why not have your own alternate plan? This should be stuff you like to do all the time, and you don't even need a date, because you'd happily go without one. That way she has a second option. If she nixes that, too, then it's time to move on.

 

[pdx1138]

but like MOST women, doesn't know that she's supposed to make a counteroffer? Women can be even more clueless than men are.

If a girl is attracted to you she is not going to be that stupid. If she is, she's not worth ANY guy's time to begin with.


I would next that. If such a woman exists.

 

[Exoduso]

So basically go for her counteroffer instead of counteroffering the counteroffer lol. Thanks guys.

 

[Zion]

There's no solid Rule for this. What if she shows solid interest, but like MOST women, doesn't know that she's supposed to make a counteroffer? Women can be even more clueless than men are.

This is something so many people seem to forget about it's crazy.


If she doesn't make a counter offer , leave it like that and try again after a few days or whatever. If she still says no and STILL doesn't make a counter-offer , then you can just move on.

Because see , if she's interested she might or might not counter-offer the first time. But if she is interested , she will certainly counter-offer the second time. Because by then she should feel on the edge in the sense that she should think that her second rejection can come across to you like lack of interest or like a blow off.Consequently she'll try to balance it out with a counter-offer.By now you should be sick of reading counter-offer , so here : counter-offer.


Anyway ,If she's interested and doesn't reschedule the 2nd time either , then you'd better move on because her brain probably isn't working all that well so just find someone that has fully functional one.



The only cases in which I wait for her to pursue me is if I'm not all that into her to begin with.

 

[Zarky]

Yup, unless she's super young she'll make a counter offer if she's interested. Any by super young I mean like 15 LOL.

 

[VladPatton]

Yup, unless she's super young she'll make a counter offer if she's interested. Any by super young I mean like 15 LOL.

Hahaha

 

[Exoduso]

So yesterday I asked if she's busy and she said she was, and said we can do either tues or wed, so she did counteroffer. Today we talked, had a plan, and she texted to cancel about 3-4 hours before, saying she's exhausted and asking if we could do tomorrow instead.
Obviously at this point I'm the one losing interest now, so I said I can't do tomorrow. She then texted back saying she'll make it up to me and come to my area (we live like 25ish miles apart) on a different day.

Now what? Seeing how the first date last week went so well and sparks were flying all over the place, a part of me isn't willing to let it go quite yet, I actually think it'll be pretty immature at this point since she still seems like she's interested. The actual act of canceling today puzzles me though, so I'm not sure how to proceed at this point because I attempted to meet up twice consecutively now only to get turned down.

 

[Smell The Glove]

I agree, not a good idea to ask if she's busy, that's just asking to be blown off.

Her wanting to make it up to you is a good sign. It shows she is willing to invest.

If she flakes again, next.

 

[pdx1138]

She's flaked on you twice now...you gonna let her do it a third time?

She would be out if it were me.

 

[Megaman XIV]

Women who are interested in you won't confuse you.

When a woman turns me down for a date, I take it as low interest as she's with another guy. I promptly drop her ass.

 

[Exoduso]

Then what's the point of saying she'll make it up, then text me a few hours later saying "hi cutie" and attempting to reinitiate contact the same day?

I understand what you're all saying, but these mixed signals are pretty annoying.
Technically though, she only flaked yesterday... Monday was my fault for asking if she's busy instead of being clear about taking her out like I was yesterday.
Regardless, we'll see what happens. Ball is in her court now, like some of you mentioned, I'm not going to try again only to get turned down again. She needs to make an effort now or nothing will come of it anyways.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I'll usually play it off like I don't care. But i'll try and subtly DHV her to see if maybe she will come around. For example if I have her on Fbook, i'll be sure to post a couple epic boating pics or something.

 

[bigneil]

Well, since she counter-offered it's not totally over, but you have to go NC until she contacts you TWICE. If she doesn't, she's not interested enough. Make her work for it.