How Do You Really Tell if a Woman at Your Gym is Interested in You?

[Frank2500]

Folks, I was wondering if in general, there might be some indirect signs, green lights and clues that women in gyms who may be attracted to certain guys tend to do around them? I had experiences in the past with two women at my gym early last summer who were very clearly interested in me and showed me obvious signals in every way except for coming up and talking to me directly. However, because I was trying to play the game by first of all acting uninterested or as if I didn't notice them, I spent a bit too much time acting that way than was necessary. Of course, when I was finally ready to make my move on both of them I never saw either of those two women again and I deeply regretted it.



I seem to be facing a similar situation at the moment as well, but I'm not exactly sure in this case because it is a lot more complicated than my previous experience. This also involves two women. One of them has been working out at my gym for a while. She's average height and has these really unbelievable long, firm and athletic legs that would make you lust in your eyes as soon as you see them. She walks very coordinated and loves to wear short, tight black shorts all the time to show off her legs and she runs on the treadmill like crazy. In the past few days and week and a half, I've noticed that when I walk past her, she from time to time gives me this straight look in my eyes as if to suggest that she's noticed me. Keep in mind that this particular woman does give off a very arrogant sort of vibe, seldom smiles around guys and rarely talks to them. But when she sees me around her, she seems to tone down that stuff quite a bit.



Today, one of the personal trainers was trying to engage her in conversation but seemed to feel intimidated to make an actual move on her. He was whispering to one of his male friends to check out her ass and her legs when she was working on one of the leg machines. She noticed it and I could see that she felt very uncomfortable. I happened to be working out right next to that area. Before I left the gym, I noticed that each time I walked past her, if she weren't looking at me, she would turn around and watch me walk by, and even from a distance, I think I've noticed her looking at me quite a few times. I'm quite an observant person. This same woman, as far as I could remember, often didn't pay any attention to me in the past...she's always carried herself in the gym as one of those "I know I'm hot" kind of women.



The second woman is a tall, blonde who just joined about a month and a half ago, she loves to wear spandex, but I could tell in her case that her ass is extremely big and of course, the personal trainers are lining up to talk to her and get her to work out with them and several men have noticed her and are trying to talk to her. This particular one is a bit harder to decipher than the previous one I mentioned above because she just loves the attention she gets from men. She's always walking around in the gym holding a bottle of water in her right hand while her ass is shaking as she shows it off. I think I've kinda noticed her looking at me from a distance as well. Sometimes when she sees me working out on a particular machine, she will act as if she were about to use the one next to me and then walk past me or across from me, as if to make me notice her as well. Before she left the gym today, she came all the way from a distance and to my area and then walked past me before leaving.


The interesting thing with this second woman is that she seems to love having men who've noticed her come up and talk to her and then shoot them down. So far, she's been carrying herself around the gym as if as a challenge to see who would have the guts to hit on her. From the way she carries herself, I can tell she probably gets hit on a lot. I noticed one guy at the gym trying to get her to join him in his workout today. Of course, she often wears the ear pieces. She took them off, gave him a look, smiled and then put them back on and continued working out. And when she was leaving the gym, I noticed the guy in question looking at her from a distance, checking out her ass, etc. My strategy with this particular woman is to get her to notice me first (maybe she has) and to not present myself toward her as just one of the many guys at the gym who are so eager to talk to her right now. At the same time, if she's noticed me, I can't wait too long and would have to take a chance and make a move if I ever have an opportunity to do so.


I don't know...perhaps some of the women at my gym might appreciate the fact that when I'm there, I'm very focused on working out as hard enough as possible and I don't just stand there looking at every woman with spandex who walks by or make myself cheap. It appears as if I seem to be a mystery to some of them or something.

 

[D!ck Ramsey]

The beauty of gym pickups is that you dont have the usual time constraint. You will always see these girls again so you can be extra smooth. Chat them up but unless they are giving you serious buying signals, dont be so quick to hit on them. Talk to them like they are just another dude (or an ugly chick) Get a repoire going.

In my experience, once you are helping a gal with her form or spotting her on exercises, its a wrap. If she thinks she is Gods gift, then this will take a while, but thats not a problem. You know where to find her!

 

[jophil28]

Frank - google " eye contact as attraction" and read the Psych Today article.
Good hunting !

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Thanks **** and Jophil, for your responses. As you guys know though, there are fast guys out there who don't waste time. I think I'd rather hit on them if I get an opportunity to speak with them, cause those guys at gyms don't waste time. Once they see any woman with a nice ass, it's not long before they snatch her and she stops coming to the gym regularly again. At least it seems as if both women have noticed me somehow, although the blonde one is kinda difficult to decipher, since she thinks she's extremely hot. We'll see...

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Thank you both so much for your responses. Based on my personal experiences, guys are so fast in those gyms, so if I get an opportunity to talk to them, I might as well take a chance and strike while the iron is hot. I've seen so many times where guys notice women like that in gyms, hit on them, they start working out together, and before you know it, the women stop coming to the gym regularly anymore. Other times, you may get green lights from women but if you wait too long, you never see them again. With the tall blonde, it's a bit more complicated, casue she's harder to try to figure out.

 

[jophil28]

Thank you both so much for your responses. Based on my personal experiences, guys are so fast in those gyms, so if I get an opportunity to talk to them, I might as well take a chance and strike while the iron is hot. I've seen so many times where guys notice women like that in gyms, hit on them, they start working out together, and before you know it, the women stop coming to the gym regularly anymore. Other times, you may get green lights from women but if you wait too long, you never see them again. With the tall blonde, it's a bit more complicated, casue she's harder to try to figure out.

Frank - you are missing some understanding of HOW women operate.
They send tiny, subtle buying signals. A two second, locked eye contact directly at you is her way of saying. "Come and get me., I am interested in you."
Women do not do approaches like men do (well not usually ). They are COVERT operators. You need to also be willing to be BOLD and take risks.
Adopt the mindset, "I goning to go talk to her Now !" and just do it - NO MATTER WHAT!

Brashness, confidence, boldness...

 

[jophil28]

've seen so many times where guys notice women like that in gyms, hit on them, they start working out together, and before you know it, the women stop coming to the gym regularly anymore. Other times, you may get green lights from women but if you wait too long, you never see them again. With the tall blonde, it's a bit more complicated, casue she's harder to try to figure out.

"WHO DARES WINS "

 

[MikeYikes122]

Frank, there is some simple advice I have for you. I want to pass along a mentality that I developed toward the end of college.

You can sit there, plot and plod, and look for signals, or you can just assume every girl is going to be into you. I know this is one of those easier written than done-type things, but if you just start by telling yourself that every girl will like you if you give her the opportunity, it'll go a long way in developing your inner-game and giving you a lot of confidence. I'm sure you've heard this before, but you are going to become what you think you are. That's just how the human mind works.

This is going to sound kind of gay, but you sound like you're an attractive guy. You obviously workout a lot and these attractive girls are throwing signals your way, so I don't think my assumption is a far-fetched one. Developing this kind of mentality shouldn't be hard for you at all. Just tell yourself, you're a good-looking guy who works out and you're not a jerk-off as so many other good-looking guys with muscles are. That's not a very difficult thought to internalize.

I used to sit there and look for signs, but I just found it to be kind of a pointless process over time. I also had a real big problem with telegraphing interest too much when looking for signals. I found it better to just assume everything a girl does is a sign of her interest, and what I found was usually it is. For example, a girl gives me eye contact and smiles, obviously she wants me to approach her. Or if she looks me in the eyes for a second then looks away, I'll take it as a sign that she was interested but is just too shy to smile or she doesn't want to put herself out there too strongly - hot girls generally fall in this category unless they are drunk. Or if a girl walks by me at say the gym, looks at the ground and looks away the entire time, I'll just assume that she is too shy or scared to make a strong impression on a guy who is good-looking and carrying himself with a lot of confidence. Chances are she's assuming that I have a girlfriend.

Like I said, nine times out of 10, this mentality doesn't fail you, or at least that's been my experience. Though, I'll be honest. I'm a good-looking guy. I get told I look like Brady Quinn (NFL quarterback) or that lead singer from Maroon 5 (I don't know what his name is) all the time. But I don't think girls are attracted to looks as much as how a guy carries himself, like if he walks confidently, laughs a lot, has a good smile, etc. Looks will certainly help you out, but they're not a deal-breaker or a deal-maker.

I've been reading this DJ stuff for over half a decade now, and I've learned that, with a few exceptions, signs from girls are so arbitrary. A girl who is shy isn't going to look at you and smile unless she is drunk or something. A girl who is hot and getting approached by tons of guys isn't going to take the time to single a random guy out at a bar and throw signs his way. Sometimes even no eye contact is a huge indicator of interest because a girl can be scared to put herself out there in a strong manner toward a guy she likes or is attracted to.

Confidence and inner-game are probably my two strongest points. Though, I do have some big weaknesses in other departments.

That said, the best advice I can give you is to just assume every chick is interested you and take everything as a sign. That's how I got over this looking for signs thing that you seem to have trouble. I hope my advice helps you.

 

[Frank2500]

Re: Thanks for Your Uplifting Comments

Jophil and Mike Yikes, thanks a lot for your responses. My schedule on week days is extremely rough, so I'm not able to check the forum as frequently as I used to...but I do whenever I get a chance. I want to thank you particularly, Mike Yikes, for your encouraging and uplifting words.


You see, for me, this sudden attention I'm getting from women is a novelty. Throughout my years in college, I was often passed over and dissed for the so-called thugs and bad boys who a lot of these women felt could provide them with more excitement. I remember making a trip by train from Philly to New York only to have the woman who I was going to meet stand me up...and I've been stood up and rejected more times than I can count by American women, and with a rudeness and harshness that I even can't describe in words. I was often given the "I have a boyfriend line," or "I usually have a boyfriend," put in the friends zone, been told things like "Thanks, but no thanks, etc." I have only met two, really wonderful women throughout the 11 years I have lived in the U.S. who were willing to accept me for who I am. One, an intellectual-type sixth grade teacher who approached me at a club and who I danced with for almost two hours, but whose number I unfortunately lost that night and never saw again; the other, another teacher (high school) but when we met, my schedule was so tight academically and she wanted to see me more. The timing was really bad.


Those were among the few women who during my skinny days told me nonetheless that they felt I was very handsome/cute.

Now all of a sudden, I get looks from married women and women with their boyfriends, older women, women in restaurants, grocery stores, etc., when they notice my body or something. And attention from attached women does make me uncomfortable because as you know, men can get very jealous and violent. One married woman almost couldn't take her eyes off me last weekend when I got on the subway, and another one was looking at me the whole time as I walked down the street past her and her boyfriend, whose hand she was holding.

I'm disappointed in the sense that it does show just how superficial the dating scene is in this country, particularly with many American women. It's as if you need to have some sort of "special qualification" to be able to date them.

 

[joekerr31]

I'm disappointed in the sense that it does show just how superficial the dating scene is in this country, particularly with many American women. It's as if you need to have some sort of "special qualification" to be able to date them.

if you think we have it bad, can you imagine being a woman?

this is why so many women low self esteem, eating disorders, spend a fortune on beauty products etc. - becuase they are fully aware just how important how they 'look' is.

the world is what it is. take any hot chic and slap 30 pounds of extra fat on her and the amount of men hitting on her will drop by 70%.

take your average guy, get him with a bodyfat of around 10-15% with some visible muscle and the amount of women eyeing him goes up 10,000%

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

The one thing I'm most concerned about in all of this is the unwanted attention I'm getting from men, a.k.a. the haters, who for personal reasons aren't happy and feel threatened seeing men who they think look a certain way, around them. I'm unfortunately forced to take public transportation most of the time, since I no longer have a car...and even at the bus stop, men in their cars would stare at me and frown. When I walk into coffee shops just to get something to drink, particularly in coffee shops where singles are known to hang around (there's one not too far from my gym) I overhear men sitting together grumbling and saying things such as "This dude thinks...blah, blah, blah" I've noticed most of the time that of course, the men for some reason seem to have more of a problem with seeing me around than the women they are with.

My greatest concern is that in a city as violent as Philadelphia, which currently leads the nation in terms of its murder rate, some crazy fellow who may have noticed me for a while might be driving his car and see me standing there waiting for a train or bus and try to do something funny. All I can do is keep praying that such a thing doesn't happen. I wish they too would simply make an effort to go to the gym and improve themselves.

 

[STR8UP]

The one thing I'm most concerned about in all of this is the unwanted attention I'm getting from men, a.k.a. the haters, who for personal reasons aren't happy and feel threatened seeing men who they think look a certain way, around them. I'm unfortunately forced to take public transportation most of the time, since I no longer have a car...and even at the bus stop, men in their cars would stare at me and frown. When I walk into coffee shops just to get something to drink, particularly in coffee shops where singles are known to hang around (there's one not too far from my gym) I overhear men sitting together grumbling and saying things such as "This dude thinks...blah, blah, blah" I've noticed most of the time that of course, the men for some reason seem to have more of a problem with seeing me around than the women they are with.

My greatest concern is that in a city as violent as Philadelphia, which currently leads the nation in terms of its murder rate, some crazy fellow who may have noticed me for a while might be driving his car and see me standing there waiting for a train or bus and try to do something funny. All I can do is keep praying that such a thing doesn't happen. I wish they too would simply make an effort to go to the gym and improve themselves.

Frank, don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you don't just have a slight case of paranoia brought on by an overactive imagination?

I mean, really, you think some dude is gonna try and off you cause your muscles are bigger than his?

I've been to the gym a time or two in the past, and at one time I was getting pretty big.

As far as women go, I'm sure some of the looks I got from them at that time were due to my muscle growth, but i think confidence had even more to do with it than anything. It changes your mindset when you get some mass on you and more testosterone flowing through your blood.

The common theme of your posts seems to be paranoia over the fact that you have built a great body and now everyone is a hater.

If you were a woman and you went from average looking to a beauty queen, yea, the other women will want to scratch your eyes out.

But other men acting in that way? I'm not buyin' it.

 

[jophil28]

Frank, don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you don't just have a slight case of paranoia brought on by an overactive imagination?

.

Frank - you were unhappy when you were a skinny dork and got no female attention and now that you are buffed up you have found another *reason*" to be unhappy. IT IS INEVITABLE THAT some men will be envious, but mostly they will just mumble and DO nothing to you.
How do you think rock stars handle all this attention from women who are in LTRs ?
Is this really a problem ?
The question is - have you taken advantage of your new development . Have you made it work for you? Where are the benefits so far. Any hot dates ? Any hot sex ?
You have changed your body shape - but your 'victim' thinking remains intact .

 

[Frank2500]

Re: So Are We as Men Less Critical of Each Other and More Tolerant of Competition?

STR8UP, I understand your point very well. It definitely may be a case of paranoia to an extent, but I have definitely had quite a good many instances where I could see from some other men's eyes and the vibe they gave off that for some reason, they didn't seem to be very happy/comfortable seeing me around. Matter of fact, I just recalled something. One time, I walked past an older white male (who I don't know, but I noticed he had a beer belly) who was walking with a friend of his. I was just minding my business. I think I had a tank top on that morning. And as he walked past me, he looked me in the eye and said: "****er." I just ignored him and acted as if I didn't even hear what he said and kept moving on. Perhaps it could be someone who might have noticed me from time to time on the train I catch to get into the city from the suburbs. From time to time, I like to wear my muscle T-shirts and tank tops, etc.


But I do understand your point, STR8UP. And you just segwayed into a different topic that I was thinking about starting on the forum, with the following question: Are we as men in general less critical of other men and more tolerant of other men who we might for one reason or the other consider rivals or competitors than women? I keep hearing stories for instance about how harshly women subordinates tend to criticize their female supervizors, commenting on everything from their hair and the clothes they wear, etc. Men do this too, don't get me wrong. I was born in an African country, and over there, men can be very envious of one another and often don't like to see their fellow men make progress. They will gossip about you and try to sabotage you and bring you down in many respects. But then again, I also recall the heavy scrutiny under which the former First lady of the U.S. and current presidential candidate has been reported by some to be facing a lot more scrutiny and criticism for being a woman...with one report on CNN going as far as commenting about a blouse she wore that showed her cleavage.

 

[Maxtro]

I don't have any advice to give, just a story to share about what happened in my college gym.

After I hit the weights it was time for my cardio workout. I head to my favorite machines and a girl I know is on it (damn her :trouble: ) either way I kind of know her as we were in a class together. I've briefly talked to her before. There are three cardio machines side by side and she is on the far right one. Instead of being an AFC I hop on the machine in the middle, start my workout and immediately chat her up. I just started talking about the machine we were on and pretending that I knew what I was talking about While I was talking to this girl, another hotter girl, a Mexican chick who've I've seen around gets on the machine next to me and I'm now in a cardio chick sandwich. The first girl is a couple of years older than me and a single mom so I have no interest in her.

I talked to the first girl for about 10 minutes then I stopped because I needed to catch my breath. I then looked to my right and noticed that the other girl was reading a magazine. I had a WTF moment my head, I turned to her and said, "Are you actually reading?" She laughed and said that she's mostly looking at pictures and make up tips. Before I know it it's me and two girls talking about make up, working out and trying to look good. I alternate my attention between both girls but mainly focusing on the Mexican girl. The first girl finishes her workout and takes off.

Then it's just me and the Mexican. It's quiet for a few moments then she asks me if I'm a student or if I just use the gym to work out. We talk a bit and I learn what classes she's taking, where she is from and what she wants to do. All this time we were both on the cardio machines. The 30 minutes on the machine flies by. Before I know it we are done and I'm exhausted and my legs are numb. I told her that it was nice talking with her, we exchange names and a hand shake and I told her I'd see her again.

Next time I see her at the gym I'll suggest that we take showers together It was a big step for me to actually break out of my comfort zone and start talking to her, good things are on the way. In reality next time I see her I'll try and get her phone number or maybe suggest lunch with her.

 

[joekerr31]

just wear lots of tanktops!.....if a girl comes up and smells your armpits she is intrested! occasionally lift your arms and show them how you wax your pits!....that will impress em the most! gyms=workout.....girls don't like being approached in a gym.....hangout at the coffee shop next door in your tanktop.

do not wax your pits. i shaved my pits once and when i put on deoderant after it burned like a mother f*cker.

maybe its just me, becuase obviously women shave their pits and use deoderant. but im telling ya, never again for me.

as for having women smell your pits, the only women who will do that are the ones who have that wet spot on their leotards on their ass from working out and don't know it. and they think everyone is looking at their *ss but really everyone is looking at the wet spot thinking "WTF?"

 

[Latinoman]

In this country you don't even have too look THAT GREAT...as long as you are not obese. If you make good $$$ and have an average body and know how to approach woman...you will get laid a LOT more than a regular muscular man.

I have been the guy with the six pack...and the guy without the six pack. And the amazing thing is that every woman I have hooked up in LTR happened when I did NOT have the six pack...in fact, I was during my "off" time (I don't work out all year).


My point is...don't let "muscles" give you a false sense of security.

 

[joekerr31]

I have been the guy with the six pack...and the guy without the six pack. And the amazing thing is that every woman I have hooked up in LTR happened when I did NOT have the six pack...in fact, I was during my "off" time (I don't work out all year).

ya, women only care that you pass a minimum standard. as long as you aren't 'fat' they are fine, you don't have to be mr. atlas.

 

[Mattz518]

Frank, don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you don't just have a slight case of paranoia brought on by an overactive imagination?

I mean, really, you think some dude is gonna try and off you cause your muscles are bigger than his?

I've been to the gym a time or two in the past, and at one time I was getting pretty big.

As far as women go, I'm sure some of the looks I got from them at that time were due to my muscle growth, but i think confidence had even more to do with it than anything. It changes your mindset when you get some mass on you and more testosterone flowing through your blood.

The common theme of your posts seems to be paranoia over the fact that you have built a great body and now everyone is a hater.

If you were a woman and you went from average looking to a beauty queen, yea, the other women will want to scratch your eyes out.

But other men acting in that way? I'm not buyin' it.

Yea man, I agree don't take it the wrong way nobody is talking trash on here, but it sounds like maybe your Imagining that every woman is looking at you every where you go. Or it could be the way you come off to others you might not even notice your doing anything but like the way you carry yourself or come across to people could attract attention. Because if a woman is happy with there spouse there not going to openly stare at you every where you go and disrespect there boyfriend or husband like that. Chances are it's not what you think.

 

[Masculinity]

Folks, I was wondering if in general, there might be some indirect signs, green lights and clues that women in gyms who may be attracted to certain guys tend to do around them? I had experiences in the past with two women at my gym early last summer who were very clearly interested in me and showed me obvious signals in every way except for coming up and talking to me directly. However, because I was trying to play the game by first of all acting uninterested or as if I didn't notice them, I spent a bit too much time acting that way than was necessary. Of course, when I was finally ready to make my move on both of them I never saw either of those two women again and I deeply regretted it.



I seem to be facing a similar situation at the moment as well, but I'm not exactly sure in this case because it is a lot more complicated than my previous experience. This also involves two women. One of them has been working out at my gym for a while. She's average height and has these really unbelievable long, firm and athletic legs that would make you lust in your eyes as soon as you see them. She walks very coordinated and loves to wear short, tight black shorts all the time to show off her legs and she runs on the treadmill like crazy. In the past few days and week and a half, I've noticed that when I walk past her, she from time to time gives me this straight look in my eyes as if to suggest that she's noticed me. Keep in mind that this particular woman does give off a very arrogant sort of vibe, seldom smiles around guys and rarely talks to them. But when she sees me around her, she seems to tone down that stuff quite a bit.



Today, one of the personal trainers was trying to engage her in conversation but seemed to feel intimidated to make an actual move on her. He was whispering to one of his male friends to check out her ass and her legs when she was working on one of the leg machines. She noticed it and I could see that she felt very uncomfortable. I happened to be working out right next to that area. Before I left the gym, I noticed that each time I walked past her, if she weren't looking at me, she would turn around and watch me walk by, and even from a distance, I think I've noticed her looking at me quite a few times. I'm quite an observant person. This same woman, as far as I could remember, often didn't pay any attention to me in the past...she's always carried herself in the gym as one of those "I know I'm hot" kind of women.



The second woman is a tall, blonde who just joined about a month and a half ago, she loves to wear spandex, but I could tell in her case that her ass is extremely big and of course, the personal trainers are lining up to talk to her and get her to work out with them and several men have noticed her and are trying to talk to her. This particular one is a bit harder to decipher than the previous one I mentioned above because she just loves the attention she gets from men. She's always walking around in the gym holding a bottle of water in her right hand while her ass is shaking as she shows it off. I think I've kinda noticed her looking at me from a distance as well. Sometimes when she sees me working out on a particular machine, she will act as if she were about to use the one next to me and then walk past me or across from me, as if to make me notice her as well. Before she left the gym today, she came all the way from a distance and to my area and then walked past me before leaving.


The interesting thing with this second woman is that she seems to love having men who've noticed her come up and talk to her and then shoot them down. So far, she's been carrying herself around the gym as if as a challenge to see who would have the guts to hit on her. From the way she carries herself, I can tell she probably gets hit on a lot. I noticed one guy at the gym trying to get her to join him in his workout today. Of course, she often wears the ear pieces. She took them off, gave him a look, smiled and then put them back on and continued working out. And when she was leaving the gym, I noticed the guy in question looking at her from a distance, checking out her ass, etc. My strategy with this particular woman is to get her to notice me first (maybe she has) and to not present myself toward her as just one of the many guys at the gym who are so eager to talk to her right now. At the same time, if she's noticed me, I can't wait too long and would have to take a chance and make a move if I ever have an opportunity to do so.


I don't know...perhaps some of the women at my gym might appreciate the fact that when I'm there, I'm very focused on working out as hard enough as possible and I don't just stand there looking at every woman with spandex who walks by or make myself cheap. It appears as if I seem to be a mystery to some of them or something.

How to tell if ANY woman is into you:

1. Build rapport & get her number.
2. Invite her to go out non-platonically.
3. Escalate during the date(s).
4. If she's receptive, she likes you. If she rejects you in steps from 1-4, she doesn't like you.
5. If she's not into you, go out and meet other women. If she's into you, go out and meet other women anyway.
6. Repeat steps 1-5 until you meet a woman worth holding on to and for god's sake don't be the one to ask to become exclusive. Case closed.