Help! Marry GF? Going Crazy - Need Life Help!

[CMNILS87]

I hear what you are saying loud and clear.. Being alone and lonely isn't too fun either though. I won't have my youth forever.



I agree with you 100%. However I also I understand how a girl enjoys something like that and dreams about it ever since they are young. If having a wedding like this won't hinder the future after it then I don't really see the big deal in complying. I believe her family would pay for most if it anyway and we would probably make a few bucks from it.

I know women are replaceable but I equally know it's difficult to find a good one. I think all women will change once you are in a relationship with them as they get comfortable and the novelty wears off. Don't you think there's something to working through things instead of just replacing at first sign of discomfort?

The marriage in a church isn't going away. Women want that, it's the thing to do for women. If a women has her mind set on a traditional wedding with a bunch of family, good luck getting her to change her mind.

No matter what anybody says here, all women what their fantasy wedding and it doesn't matter how alpha or other bs we spew on here will change their minds.

If you have enough compatability, then there should be a ton of problems or fights. There may be disputes, but not much.

The main thing is

1.Do you enjoy her company?
2. Does she add value to your life?
3. Does she cause problems?
4. Is she loyal?
5. Would she be a good mother based off how she currently acts?
6. Does she currently make as much money as you or more?

If you can answer yes then I'd get married after a long vetting process. Most women want to be married after 2-3 years dating. Honestly she's 27 and In her child bearing years, it's unfair for you to date her long term and not give her kids, because you're wasting your time and more importantly her eggs and child bearing years. She'd despise you for the rest of her life.

If you have a secure job and don't see any foreseeable huge raises in your job or line of work and she makes the same +\- 10% the whole getting raped in divorce won't be a big deal since the money should be 50/50.

If you're really thinking about marriage, ask your buddies about her and get a 3rd party perspective and have them be brutally honest with you about her.

 

[Fruitbat]

The marriage in a church isn't going away. Women want that, it's the thing to do for women. If a women has her mind set on a traditional wedding with a bunch of family, good luck getting her to change her mind.

No matter what anybody says here, all women what their fantasy wedding and it doesn't matter how alpha or other bs we spew on here will change their minds.

If you have enough compatability, then there should be a ton of problems or fights. There may be disputes, but not much.

The main thing is

1.Do you enjoy her company?
2. Does she add value to your life?
3. Does she cause problems?
4. Is she loyal?
5. Would she be a good mother based off how she currently acts?
6. Does she currently make as much money as you or more?

If you can answer yes then I'd get married after a long vetting process. Most women want to be married after 2-3 years dating. Honestly she's 27 and In her child bearing years, it's unfair for you to date her long term and not give her kids, because you're wasting your time and more importantly her eggs and child bearing years. She'd despise you for the rest of her life.

If you have a secure job and don't see any foreseeable huge raises in your job or line of work and she makes the same +\- 10% the whole getting raped in divorce won't be a big deal since the money should be 50/50.

If you're really thinking about marriage, ask your buddies about her and get a 3rd party perspective and have them be brutally honest with you about her.

Agreed, it's like this in UK law, even if you earn more.

UK courts tend to award big alimony (or maintainance as we call it) if:

- She is much, much younger and you are richer. They understand the "deal" here and will award her for screwing an old dude.
- She gave up work for kids.
- There is no reason she can't work. If she is disabled or something they will award.

It's actually quite fair, but having kids is the point, married or not, that you get raped, and she needs no reason.

I was surpirsed when the solicitor told me that.

 

[Desdinova]

What I meant here was about being torn between setting down or continuing the bachelor lifestyle. I think she's worth keeping but if I decide to marry her I'm going to have to change somehow... I can't be seeing all these women on the side.

A good woman will make you want to avoid screwing up the relationship. It doesn't look like you're there. The change should be motivated by both respect for her and your desire to keep her. If you don't automatically feel the need to change and instead feel the need to force change upon yourself, then there's something missing from your relationship.

I think she'd still want to be with me if we couldn't have the nice wedding

Then plan a cheap, fun wedding and see how she deals with it.

My ex-wife held a huge grudge against me because we didn't have a wedding in Disneyland, which I was completely oblivious to. Who in their right mind needs to get married with fvcking Mickey Mouse in attendance?

Is it not possible to have both a nice wedding and a good marriage?

It's possible, but the problem is women today see the wedding as their life-long goal as opposed to a happy life-long relationship. You need to make sure the woman is focused on being with you for the rest of your life as opposed to being with you on her wedding day.

Yes, every woman wants to have her day, but she needs to realize that there's more to it than just one day.

I'm basically the #1 person her life, she wants my junk like 24/7, hasn't done anything disrespectful, conducts herself well in public.

Wanting to fvck you doesn't make her loyal. Wanting to spend time with you and be around you makes her loyal.

What are some outstanding qualities in your opinion? I'll be able to better address it if I had some examples.

I'll use my GF as an example. I've been with her for almost 1 1/2 years...

- She cooks, cleans, and does a LOT of extremely thoughtful things for me.
- She's the one who brought up the idea of doing pre-nups
- She's happy with a cheap wedding as long as it's with me
- She's fine with excluding the legal documents from the wedding
- Her affection is so frequent that it gets in the way of me doing regular activities
- She tags along with me even when I'm doing things that she's not interested in
- She agreed with boundaries. We don't spend one on one time with others of the opposite sex
- She is always looking into the future, and I'm always part of her ideas, plans, and fantasies

As a side note, I haven't come to a decision to put a ring on her finger. I'm saving that decision for when she turns 27. I have three more years to observe and contemplate the decision. I met her nearly 4 years ago and she pursued me for two of those. I want to have the maximum amount of time to decide whether I should keep her or not. Age 27 is the turning point for women, so my goal is to have my decision when she reaches that age.

 

[MrAddiction]

it's unfair for you to date her long term and not give her kids, because you're wasting your time and more importantly her eggs and child bearing years

After having Seen the nature of women. Fairness should never he considered as an Argument when it comes to women.
Do not marry just because she wants to!
CMNILS87 is right - they all want and maybe one must face the truth that one will lose a girl because he does not want to marry- but a least: do not live the life others want to live.
You want kids? You want marriage? Fine. Go for it.
You do not want? Fine eitherway. But it is not your problem wether the way you want to live fits to the ticking clock of a women or not.

 

[Reyaj]

The marriage in a church isn't going away. Women want that, it's the thing to do for women. If a women has her mind set on a traditional wedding with a bunch of family, good luck getting her to change her mind.

No matter what anybody says here, all women what their fantasy wedding and it doesn't matter how alpha or other bs we spew on here will change their minds.

If you have enough compatability, then there should be a ton of problems or fights. There may be disputes, but not much.

The main thing is

1.Do you enjoy her company?
2. Does she add value to your life?
3. Does she cause problems?
4. Is she loyal?
5. Would she be a good mother based off how she currently acts?
6. Does she currently make as much money as you or more?

If you can answer yes then I'd get married after a long vetting process. Most women want to be married after 2-3 years dating. Honestly she's 27 and In her child bearing years, it's unfair for you to date her long term and not give her kids, because you're wasting your time and more importantly her eggs and child bearing years. She'd despise you for the rest of her life.

If you have a secure job and don't see any foreseeable huge raises in your job or line of work and she makes the same +\- 10% the whole getting raped in divorce won't be a big deal since the money should be 50/50.

If you're really thinking about marriage, ask your buddies about her and get a 3rd party perspective and have them be brutally honest with you about her.

Yep definitely true on how most women raised in at least middle class homes with somewhat stable families view weddings. I of course agree that the marriage and relationship itself is what counts, but if it's feasible I don't necessarily see a problem with giving a girl her special day.

1.Do you enjoy her company?

I do but sometimes get bored and want to hook up with the girls. The argument I think I heard made was that if I find that special girl I won't feel like this but I'm not sure I agree. This has happend in my last 2 relationships. I think it's normal to get bored when you're with the same person or at least if you have the desire and sexual appetite for women that I do. That's why I think if I do get married I need to somehow change this outlook...

2. Does she add value to your life?

She is a good partner, loves spending time with me and we can do things together. So I guess yes? Maybe you need to ask more specifics around this so i can answer better.

3. Does she cause problems?

The only thing I'd say is she seems to want to monopolize my time. Like I mentioned one of her flaws is she can be a bit controlling.

4. Is she loyal?

Yes - My only concern is that once in a while she will drink excessively when she is out with some family members or friends. This is once in a while, and she will only hang out with them when I'm not available so I'm always her first choice.

5. Would she be a good mother based off how she currently acts?

Yes

6. Does she currently make as much money as you or more?

I make a little more in salary but because of my ridiculous debt she takes up home a lot more at the end of the day.

 

[Reyaj]

A good woman will make you want to avoid screwing up the relationship. It doesn't look like you're there. The change should be motivated by both respect for her and your desire to keep her. If you don't automatically feel the need to change and instead feel the need to force change upon yourself, then there's something missing from your relationship.

I actually do feel this way, that's why I've forgone many cheating opportunities.. I will still cheat don't get me wrong but I only do it if I think I can 100% get away with it. I'll give you an example... I was seeing this attractive Italian girl, we had gone out a few times and made out. She ended up inviting me to park by her apartment and walk to a local bar to drink. So we ended up doing just that and before we know it we were hooking up.. I know I had a legit shot to go back to her apartment and hit it... but my gf started texting me she was upset and not feeling good and she felt something was wrong.... I ended up telling the current girl I had to go home.. so I essentially gave up a potential lay I had right there for my girlfriend because I care about her and value our relationship.

I do feel this currently and it inhibits my cheating... However it doesn't remove my appetite for other women... I still crave them that's why I think maybe I need to change the way I look at things? Des correct me if I'm wrong but I believe you even admitted your sex drive isn't the same as it once was... Mine is still very high, I love the chase for tail even though the emotional swings can really drive me nuts!

Then plan a cheap, fun wedding and see how she deals with it.

My ex-wife held a huge grudge against me because we didn't have a wedding in Disneyland, which I was completely oblivious to. Who in their right mind needs to get married with fvcking Mickey Mouse in attendance?

If I couldn't afford it or her family couldn't pay I'd have to tell her it wouldn't be possible. But if it is possible why not make her happy?

It's possible, but the problem is women today see the wedding as their life-long goal as opposed to a happy life-long relationship. You need to make sure the woman is focused on being with you for the rest of your life as opposed to being with you on her wedding day.

Yes, every woman wants to have her day, but she needs to realize that there's more to it than just one day.

I agree, my ex was like this. Your last line is key.

Wanting to fvck you doesn't make her loyal. Wanting to spend time with you and be around you makes her loyal.

Yes, she does want to be around me all the time. I just figured if I said that I'd get the typical "NEXT" comments that she is too obsessive, controlling etc... This is actually a problem for me because I love having my "ME" time so she will need to respect my request for personal space. How much personal space do you currently have in your relationship? What do you think a good balance is?

'll use my GF as an example. I've been with her for almost 1 1/2 years...

- She cooks, cleans, and does a LOT of extremely thoughtful things for me.
- She's the one who brought up the idea of doing pre-nups
- She's happy with a cheap wedding as long as it's with me
- She's fine with excluding the legal documents from the wedding
- Her affection is so frequent that it gets in the way of me doing regular activities
- She tags along with me even when I'm doing things that she's not interested in
- She agreed with boundaries. We don't spend one on one time with others of the opposite sex
- She is always looking into the future, and I'm always part of her ideas, plans, and fantasies

As a side note, I haven't come to a decision to put a ring on her finger. I'm saving that decision for when she turns 27. I have three more years to observe and contemplate the decision. I met her nearly 4 years ago and she pursued me for two of those. I want to have the maximum amount of time to decide whether I should keep her or not. Age 27 is the turning point for women, so my goal is to have my decision when she reaches that age.

- She cooks, cleans, and does a LOT of extremely thoughtful things for me.

We don't live together and mostly see each other weekends so I haven't really had the opportunity to evaluate this. However she has helped with this in the past.

- She's the one who brought up the idea of doing pre-nups

She is probably in a better financial situation than me. Either way I don't see her being into this, she holds a traditional view of marriage.

- She's happy with a cheap wedding as long as it's with me

She probably wouldn't be happy about a cheap wedding but I believe she'd still want to be with me if we had no other option.

- She's fine with excluding the legal documents from the wedding

Yeah wouldn't happen with her lol

- Her affection is so frequent that it gets in the way of me doing regular activities

Yep same, but I think it' a little too much sometimes, kind of smothering.

- She tags along with me even when I'm doing things that she's not interested in

She loves to do this, I just rather be by myself though.. am I weird? At least with some things.

- She agreed with boundaries. We don't spend one on one time with others of the opposite sex

Yep, one of the great things I love about her. No issue with her or any other man.. She doesn't even keep any guy friends she hangs out with regularly. She does expect the same of me though.

- She is always looking into the future, and I'm always part of her ideas, plans, and fantasies

Yep this is covered.

Des let me ask you a few questions:

1.) How would you rate your girl looks wise? Is there any physical flaw she has that bothers you?

2.) Being in your late 30s as I am too, if you were to break up with this girl what would your plan be in seeking your next partner? In other worse where would you look to find a young high quality girl with a low partner count?

 

[Desdinova]

I do feel this currently and it inhibits my cheating... However it doesn't remove my appetite for other women... I still crave them that's why I think maybe I need to change the way I look at things?

I still crave other women, but I haven't felt the desire to pursue a woman who's most likely less valuable. I ended up flirting with a woman I had to work with at a hospital. I know she's married due to the ring on her finger, but she's fvcking hot and has the kind of personality I like. She now goes out of her way to greet me when she sees me. Am I going to fvck her? Probably not.

Des correct me if I'm wrong but I believe you even admitted your sex drive isn't the same as it once was...

Correct. I'm not quite sure if this is attributed to age, the fact that I'm pretty tired of dealing with dating in general, or even both. For the most part, I put masturbation at a higher value than sex. Sex takes time, effort, and dealing with a lot of bull5hit. Masturbation is quick, easy, and it gets the job done. Perhaps that's where my problem is, but easy stress-free ejaculation doesn't really seem like a problem to me.

But if it is possible why not make her happy?

Well, how long do you think an expensive wedding is going to make her happy? Here's how long I see her happiness lasting:

The wedding: one week
The ring: six months

Once the novelty wears off, reality sets in. Now, how long do you think a CHEAP wedding will make her happy? Will it be the same amount, or will it be less?

The fact that women cheat on their husbands shows that a wedding does NOT guarantee a woman's happiness. So why put so much effort and money into it? If she's truly happy with you, the relevance of the wedding isn't as important.

Yes, she does want to be around me all the time. I just figured if I said that I'd get the typical "NEXT" comments that she is too obsessive, controlling etc... This is actually a problem for me because I love having my "ME" time so she will need to respect my request for personal space. How much personal space do you currently have in your relationship? What do you think a good balance is?

Whenever I need it. Sometimes I enjoy being around her. Sometimes I want to do my own thing. That's when I have my "me" time.

1.) How would you rate your girl looks wise? Is there any physical flaw she has that bothers you?

Maybe a 6.5. She's not hideous, but I've dated a lot of hotter women. She also doesn't have any of the features I typically like in a woman.

The reason why I'm with her is because of High Score Theory. I'm the second guy she fvcked. I alpha widowed her without even thinking about it. I put an emotional imprint in her that will last for the rest of her life. I am fairly certain she's not going anywhere. I have absolutely no problem sacrificing my desire for a short brunette to be with a not-so-short blonde who is glued to me and treats me like a king.

2.) Being in your late 30s as I am too, if you were to break up with this girl what would your plan be in seeking your next partner? In other worse where would you look to find a young high quality girl with a low partner count?

At this point, I'm fine with being alone and having occasional sex. I was mapping out my plan to live life alone when my gf popped back into my life. I honestly didn't plan on being with anybody. I came to the conclusion that I actually DO function well alone, and decided to embrace it. If by some chance my GF leaves or even dies, I'll revert back to my original plan to remain alone and just have occasional sex.

I didn't develop High Score Theory just for myself. I developed it because it suits how women's attraction works in the long term. It honestly doesn't matter to me anymore if I'm with somebody for the long term. If anything, I consider it a "perk" to life (as long as they treat me well). If that perk turns into a pain in my ass, then I'll get rid of it.

It's nice to have someone to rely on especially when you realize that you're starting to get up there in age, but I don't think it's a necessity especially with how today's women generally behave. Most of today's women will be more destructive toward you as opposed to strengthening you. That's why I keep telling men here to toss away women who don't meet extremely high standards. You're going to be more successful and survive much longer alone than you will travelling through life with a piece of 5hit woman.

 

[SuckItUp]

I can't believe this thread is still going. OP got plenty of quality advice already. If you're not going to follow the advice, don't ask for it in the first place.

He didn't want advice. He wanted permission/approval.

 

[exhausted]

Hey if u dont want her I'll take her.

For fukssakes women these days are shiiit

You have a GOOD WOMAN DONT BLOW IT.

 

[ManlyMichael]

You struggle for marrying is that you just don't understand your own faults, if you did, your girl would be much better (though she sounds like she is very decent)

It doesn't seem like her current problems are difficult to fix, if she doesn't look good enough, give her play in the sheets till she thin down and end up how you need her to be, work that woman bro, your desire for other girls has shown on your main girl, if you had cut off those other girls early and decided to invest your all into her, you would have 0 complaints, you would be in control of her by now, but for the moment she still wants to control you, she probably can tell you cheated, can't prove it, and is using your guilty conscience to control you.

It seems like she is doing all she can for you but your not helping her to reach to that perfect level that she can be. In old eastern languages, the definition of marry was to lift up, so when a man married a woman, he agreed to lift her up, or in an expression to improve her.

If you marry her, you are investing your life in hers, your strength your money your days and years. If you run around cheating and being with other women you really cheat yourself from finding the perfect woman, because you will never find them YOU MAKE THEM. I think by now you realized that you make a girl into what she is.

Overall, if you don't want to marry her then don't. But whoever you marry, you should understand you are entering into a work zone, where day and night you have to make them to what is right.

My advice? If you have done so much already just finish the work bro, stop cheating on her, and perfect her, when she gives you problems, consider that you caused some of them and work to fix them, be patient (it seems like you have had enough patience with her) and make sure she asks

Don't run up and bow on your knees like girl, that's her job, she wants marriage, then let her stop hinting or talking about it and let her get frustrated to where she gives up and says please marry me, I need you, your all I have, etc.

I hope this helps you bro, Christ Jesus help you too bro, he the one to learn from

 

[Reyaj]

As always I apologize for responding late. My life tends move quick but this is still a dilemma for me.. There's a few things now apparent: 1. I am somewhat bored with her. 2. I am not as sexually attracted to her as I once was. Its a combination of her weight gain and the mere fact that we've had sex so much. She is starting to notice this though and really broke down crying to me today about it. She is upset we don't have sex as much as we used to.

This happend with my last ex too and she also gained weight (albeit a lot worse than my current gf). I am noticing a lot of the same parallels which is really scaring the crap out of me.

Des and ManlyMichael (although banned I'm sure is back here in some other form) made some great points. Let me address their last two posts.

I still crave other women, but I haven't felt the desire to pursue a woman who's most likely less valuable. I ended up flirting with a woman I had to work with at a hospital. I know she's married due to the ring on her finger, but she's fvcking hot and has the kind of personality I like. She now goes out of her way to greet me when she sees me. Am I going to fvck her? Probably not.

Yes you probably wouldn't fvck here due to the face she is probably married and may not be willing to cross that line, but be honest with yourself on this.. would you if you had the opportunity? Let's say you met another girl somewhere who you were attracted to and there wasn't any kind of barriers, would you do it? The point I am making with these questions is that you're obviously in a good relationship but I think it's innate for men to become complacent with their lives and find a spark elsewhere. If you think you'd reason over this let me know.. (The assumption is you could do it without getting caught or jeopardizing your current relationship)

Correct. I'm not quite sure if this is attributed to age, the fact that I'm pretty tired of dealing with dating in general, or even both. For the most part, I put masturbation at a higher value than sex. Sex takes time, effort, and dealing with a lot of bull5hit. Masturbation is quick, easy, and it gets the job done. Perhaps that's where my problem is, but easy stress-free ejaculation doesn't really seem like a problem to me.

I can't say I disagree with you here, I am almost tired of the game but I go through cycles.. I have to admit there is something sensual exhilarating about a woman's touch and foreplay that makes sex more enjoyable that just spanking it.

Well, how long do you think an expensive wedding is going to make her happy? Here's how long I see her happiness lasting:

The wedding: one week
The ring: six months

Once the novelty wears off, reality sets in. Now, how long do you think a CHEAP wedding will make her happy? Will it be the same amount, or will it be less?

The fact that women cheat on their husbands shows that a wedding does NOT guarantee a woman's happiness. So why put so much effort and money into it? If she's truly happy with you, the relevance of the wedding isn't as important.

I agree. Most of the wedding costs won't come out of my pocket. However I would have to splurge for a ring... Are you against engagement rings?

Maybe a 6.5. She's not hideous, but I've dated a lot of hotter women. She also doesn't have any of the features I typically like in a woman.

The reason why I'm with her is because of High Score Theory. I'm the second guy she fvcked. I alpha widowed her without even thinking about it. I put an emotional imprint in her that will last for the rest of her life. I am fairly certain she's not going anywhere. I have absolutely no problem sacrificing my desire for a short brunette to be with a not-so-short blonde who is glued to me and treats me like a king.

I know this is a trigger phrase because it would be for me but I think that's what called settling. But that's the thing Des, I'm in the same boat and I have that same pragmatic view on relationships you are describing. I would never be in a relationship with some hot piece of azz that has poor internal qualities but I honestly have a desire to fvck them for some reason. I am finding it to be more of a pain in the azz with age but there's still desire I have. It sounds like that fire you had is a low flame, I'm just scared of settling down to be honest though... As much as the game svcks it equally brings hope and excitement I find unmathced by anything else in my life. I know you're a father so maybe that's why you have a greater perspective on life? My gf wants to get married and have a family. I love my life as it is now, I have ME time and I have GF time... I know if/when I have a family I'll be just another guy living the daily grind and it kind of depresses me

At this point, I'm fine with being alone and having occasional sex. I was mapping out my plan to live life alone when my gf popped back into my life. I honestly didn't plan on being with anybody. I came to the conclusion that I actually DO function well alone, and decided to embrace it. If by some chance my GF leaves or even dies, I'll revert back to my original plan to remain alone and just have occasional sex.

I didn't develop High Score Theory just for myself. I developed it because it suits how women's attraction works in the long term. It honestly doesn't matter to me anymore if I'm with somebody for the long term. If anything, I consider it a "perk" to life (as long as they treat me well). If that perk turns into a pain in my ass, then I'll get rid of it.

It's nice to have someone to rely on especially when you realize that you're starting to get up there in age, but I don't think it's a necessity especially with how today's women generally behave. Most of today's women will be more destructive toward you as opposed to strengthening you. That's why I keep telling men here to toss away women who don't meet extremely high standards. You're going to be more successful and survive much longer alone than you will travelling through life with a piece of 5hit woman.

This was perhaps the most interesting and surprising thing you had to say. But again maybe it's already because you have a child that you feel you've achieved your higher purpose in life. If you didn't have a kid would you still be content and resolved to live life single into your golden years?

I agree 100% that most of today's women are shvit and would probably make your life more frustrating instead of enhancing it. But the goal would be to find a woman who is worth it.. the diamond in the rough so to speak. Do you think your age would make it more difficult? I guess I'm just surprised you said that you'd just live your life alone instead of how you'd go about finding another girl with low mileage.. My fear with that is that because I'm about 40 it would be difficult to find a young girl in her 20's accepting of it, but I say this hoping I am dead wrong. I actually met a couple where the girl was 28 and he was 40 and this girl was such a piece of azz! I was hoping on getting some instruction on what I'd do if I break up with my current gf to find someone that fits that ideal role in today's world.

You struggle for marrying is that you just don't understand your own faults, if you did, your girl would be much better (though she sounds like she is very decent)

It doesn't seem like her current problems are difficult to fix, if she doesn't look good enough, give her play in the sheets till she thin down and end up how you need her to be, work that woman bro, your desire for other girls has shown on your main girl, if you had cut off those other girls early and decided to invest your all into her, you would have 0 complaints, you would be in control of her by now, but for the moment she still wants to control you, she probably can tell you cheated, can't prove it, and is using your guilty conscience to control you.

It seems like she is doing all she can for you but your not helping her to reach to that perfect level that she can be. In old eastern languages, the definition of marry was to lift up, so when a man married a woman, he agreed to lift her up, or in an expression to improve her.

If you marry her, you are investing your life in hers, your strength your money your days and years. If you run around cheating and being with other women you really cheat yourself from finding the perfect woman, because you will never find them YOU MAKE THEM. I think by now you realized that you make a girl into what she is.

Overall, if you don't want to marry her then don't. But whoever you marry, you should understand you are entering into a work zone, where day and night you have to make them to what is right.

My advice? If you have done so much already just finish the work bro, stop cheating on her, and perfect her, when she gives you problems, consider that you caused some of them and work to fix them, be patient (it seems like you have had enough patience with her) and make sure she asks

Don't run up and bow on your knees like girl, that's her job, she wants marriage, then let her stop hinting or talking about it and let her get frustrated to where she gives up and says please marry me, I need you, your all I have, etc.

I hope this helps you bro, Christ Jesus help you too bro, he the one to learn from

Man your post really hits home... I think I'm scared to settle down man.. I'm scared to invest everything I have into a woman. I'm just scared

 

[CMNILS87]

As always I apologize for responding late. My life tends move quick but this is still a dilemma for me.. There's a few things now apparent: 1. I am somewhat bored with her. 2. I am not as sexually attracted to her as I once was. Its a combination of her weight gain and the mere fact that we've had sex so much. She is starting to notice this though and really broke down crying to me today about it. She is upset we don't have sex as much as we used to.

This happend with my last ex too and she also gained weight (albeit a lot worse than my current gf). I am noticing a lot of the same parallels which is really scaring the crap out of me.

Des and ManlyMichael (although banned I'm sure is back here in some other form) made some great points. Let me address their last two posts.



Yes you probably wouldn't fvck here due to the face she is probably married and may not be willing to cross that line, but be honest with yourself on this.. would you if you had the opportunity? Let's say you met another girl somewhere who you were attracted to and there wasn't any kind of barriers, would you do it? The point I am making with these questions is that you're obviously in a good relationship but I think it's innate for men to become complacent with their lives and find a spark elsewhere. If you think you'd reason over this let me know.. (The assumption is you could do it without getting caught or jeopardizing your current relationship)



I can't say I disagree with you here, I am almost tired of the game but I go through cycles.. I have to admit there is something sensual exhilarating about a woman's touch and foreplay that makes sex more enjoyable that just spanking it.



I agree. Most of the wedding costs won't come out of my pocket. However I would have to splurge for a ring... Are you against engagement rings?



I know this is a trigger phrase because it would be for me but I think that's what called settling. But that's the thing Des, I'm in the same boat and I have that same pragmatic view on relationships you are describing. I would never be in a relationship with some hot piece of azz that has poor internal qualities but I honestly have a desire to fvck them for some reason. I am finding it to be more of a pain in the azz with age but there's still desire I have. It sounds like that fire you had is a low flame, I'm just scared of settling down to be honest though... As much as the game svcks it equally brings hope and excitement I find unmathced by anything else in my life. I know you're a father so maybe that's why you have a greater perspective on life? My gf wants to get married and have a family. I love my life as it is now, I have ME time and I have GF time... I know if/when I have a family I'll be just another guy living the daily grind and it kind of depresses me



This was perhaps the most interesting and surprising thing you had to say. But again maybe it's already because you have a child that you feel you've achieved your higher purpose in life. If you didn't have a kid would you still be content and resolved to live life single into your golden years?

I agree 100% that most of today's women are shvit and would probably make your life more frustrating instead of enhancing it. But the goal would be to find a woman who is worth it.. the diamond in the rough so to speak. Do you think your age would make it more difficult? I guess I'm just surprised you said that you'd just live your life alone instead of how you'd go about finding another girl with low mileage.. My fear with that is that because I'm about 40 it would be difficult to find a young girl in her 20's accepting of it, but I say this hoping I am dead wrong. I actually met a couple where the girl was 28 and he was 40 and this girl was such a piece of azz! I was hoping on getting some instruction on what I'd do if I break up with my current gf to find someone that fits that ideal role in today's world.




Man your post really hits home... I think I'm scared to settle down man.. I'm scared to invest everything I have into a woman. I'm just scared

What do you have invested? Do you have a ton of money saved up? Or plan to make tons of money in the near future? If not then I wouldn't worry too much. Can't get divorced raped if there isn't any tangible assets.

 

[Desdinova]

Let's say you met another girl somewhere who you were attracted to and there wasn't any kind of barriers, would you do it?

I know damn well I would. I would also know that it was a one time thing. I just don't have any desire to seek it out.

However I would have to splurge for a ring... Are you against engagement rings?

No, I'm not against rings. I'm against the legally binding contract.

As much as the game svcks it equally brings hope and excitement I find unmathced by anything else in my life. I know you're a father so maybe that's why you have a greater perspective on life?

I find my hobbies give me greater satisfaction than seducing or fvcking women.

If you didn't have a kid would you still be content and resolved to live life single into your golden years?

One thing I know is that I've always wanted at least one kid. If I were to do things differently, I'd either adopt or get a surrogate mother. That way there's no legal bull5hit to deal with.

Do you think your age would make it more difficult?

I have no clue. I'd have to live it to find out.

 

[breadd80]

As my good friend always says, fwck yes or fwck no.

You have doubts. That is all I need to know that marrying this woman will lead you to regret.

She's already gained weight, do you honestly expect that's something that will improve after marriage? You're nuts if you think so.

 

[Reyaj]

What do you have invested? Do you have a ton of money saved up? Or plan to make tons of money in the near future? If not then I wouldn't worry too much. Can't get divorced raped if there isn't any tangible assets.

I don't have a lot of anything. I am in a really crummy financial situation to be honest. I would hope to make a lot of money in the future but right now that's a pipe dream. Its a matter of giving up my freedom and the "pursuit" of sexual relations with other women that I'm struggling with. My gf is so paranoid that if I lived with her cheating would be next near to impossible.

I know damn well I would. I would also know that it was a one time thing. I just don't have any desire to seek it out.

That's how I think too. But I think you made my point as far as there being one woman out there that would make you not want to ever cheat... Thats why when others make comments like that or condemn cheating it really makes me think they haven't had a lot of physical experience with women.

No, I'm not against rings. I'm against the legally binding contract.

But rings are damn expensive just like a potential wedding. Why would a ring be ok but not a wedding?

I find my hobbies give me greater satisfaction than seducing or fvcking women.

What are some of them Des? This is something I've been thinking about lot lately. I really don't have any... maybe if I picked some up I could get married and live the American dream. You know work 40 hours, take my 2 week vacation and do some hobby on the weekend. I think about trying to hook up with women so much that I haven't found anything to counter it!

One thing I know is that I've always wanted at least one kid. If I were to do things differently, I'd either adopt or get a surrogate mother. That way there's no legal bull5hit to deal with.

How much of your life focuses around your child? That's another thing I'm thinking... maybe if I had a kid I'd make that my focus and not be so obsessed with trying to seduce women.

I have no clue. I'd have to live it to find out.

This my fear... See if/when I settle down I want to make sure it's with an ideal mate. After reading all this stuff about getting young girls with low mileage it has my fearful that at my age this will be difficult to attain.

As my good friend always says, fwck yes or fwck no.

You have doubts. That is all I need to know that marrying this woman will lead you to regret.

She's already gained weight, do you honestly expect that's something that will improve after marriage? You're nuts if you think so.

No I don't and especially not after children. But maybe that's just life... I have had doubts about every girl I've been with. I take it you're one of these in the camp of "When you find the one you will know it and have no doubts!"

Maybe I've just been conditioned by the negative interactions I've had with women coupled with the stringent vetting of this forum that I naturally will always do it. Again maybe I'm the problem here and if that's the case it won't matter what girl I'm with...

 

[Reyaj]

Pressure is increasing...

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I somehow came across the JMLUV youtube video on the topic of marriage. Not sure about his opinions. I just recall his posts on the rsd forum and tons of nudes of women pulled. Then again, there were also links of him getting rapey with women and pulling escorts lol In either event, I still listened. He made several valid points.

IMHO, I think marriage is dated. Its celebrated in the west yet, women originally were a man's property. Divorce court favor women. Women initiated more then half of all domestic abuse and it skyrockets when you look at lesbian domestic abuse stats. Furthermore, women tend to bulk after top form SMV and marriage is basically a pie eating contest. No sex is a go to for women to control a man. A married man use to be respected. No it comes to jokes about "I will have to ask the boss if I can see my friends?"

I've never met a woman I've loved more then I love myself. I cannot imagine swearing away half my ****. I am by no means rich. I own a house. I have a business venture. I have assets. No student loan or debts. I am DEEZED! I lift. There are tons of hot young girls turning 18/19/20/21 EVERYDAY!

The idea of one woman for the rest of my life is absolute madness. I got one mate, he pulls at bars or clubs, and another who if he fails, he gets a stripper to suck him off. I am not about that but, I can see a lot of men going that route after a nasty divorce. Divorce is at 50% + in America (pending your state) and 80% of which is filed BY WOMEN!

 

[Reyaj]

I somehow came across the JMLUV youtube video on the topic of marriage. Not sure about his opinions. I just recall his posts on the rsd forum and tons of nudes of women pulled. Then again, there were also links of him getting rapey with women and pulling escorts lol In either event, I still listened. He made several valid points.

IMHO, I think marriage is dated. Its celebrated in the west yet, women originally were a man's property. Divorce court favor women. Women initiated more then half of all domestic abuse and it skyrockets when you look at lesbian domestic abuse stats. Furthermore, women tend to bulk after top form SMV and marriage is basically a pie eating contest. No sex is a go to for women to control a man. A married man use to be respected. No it comes to jokes about "I will have to ask the boss if I can see my friends?"

I've never met a woman I've loved more then I love myself. I cannot imagine swearing away half my ****. I am by no means rich. I own a house. I have a business venture. I have assets. No student loan or debts. I am DEEZED! I lift. There are tons of hot young girls turning 18/19/20/21 EVERYDAY!

The idea of one woman for the rest of my life is absolute madness. I got one mate, he pulls at bars or clubs, and another who if he fails, he gets a stripper to suck him off. I am not about that but, I can see a lot of men going that route after a nasty divorce. Divorce is at 50% + in America (pending your state) and 80% of which is filed BY WOMEN!

How old are you? Being able to pull women whenever you want is really just a fallacy... Once in a while you may get lucky with an ONS from a bar/club but more often than not you won't... You'll have to work girls and play the game and deal with a ton of frustratiosn... As far as 18-21 year olds... I don't think they are into 40+ year olds.. when they are it's the exception not the norm.