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Have We Figured Out Why Women Need to...

A-Unit

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Vent, Bytch, Moan, and Whine to men, yet not hear any criticism whatsoever?

It's as if they want a priest or psychologist who will listen, but remain practically silent, providing no comments or advice, walk away, then resume fvcking.

Sometimes I think Estrogen is a curse to women. It's as if they have this "thing" inside them, it bugs them, it requires them to take actions to DEFUSE themselves of built up pressure, but requires no feedback or correction. It seems quite similar to a Reactor building pressure as natural byproduct of its function, getting rid of it via diffusion/pressure release, and going about its business until it builds pressure once again.

Oh ho ho! And lest you TRY to offer advice or not appear to listen? You'd be better of having a Nuclear reactor actually melting down nearby, than dealing with any woman so stuck on petty squabbles.

But this isn't just any woman, it's all women. Perhaps age is the delineating marker, and as women progress, this isn't the issue it once was, but it is a practically INTOLERABLE consequence of dating women. She won't spring it on you up front, as she will call it her "craziness" and fully expect a man to APRPECIATE it and want it. And some men can tolerate it b/c she's hot, or she's cute, or she apologizes and actually appreciates the man's listening qualities.

My boss/mentor/partner has told me (he's double my age with a trophy wife), that it never subsides and to prepare for such things. He feels he wins (if there is such a thing) because he KNOWS this about her and he is logical, collected, and man enough to control it. Alot of guys will fight through it, because it burns the male Ego, and a man's natural inclination is to put out any and all fires. However, this is something that cannot be done, and because a woman's harddrive really can't INSTALL or GRASP logic or emotionally control, it's a futile conversation.

Over time, even if she conceded that she was out of line, crazy, or emotional, and needed to calm down, she WILL snap back. It becomes a constant process of management, to which most men resolve themselves to just living through it. I'm sure all women have their various nuances and picadillos that make them unique, and you just to go "Huh?:confused:"

But perhaps that's WHY men exist. It's almost the complete polar opposite from men. A man is balanced can be philosophical and logical with the ability to see further ahead so that he can temper himself. Generally, if his being is intact and is not feminized, then he can remain grounded and impart this collectedness onto her, also.

On occasion, it can be fun and cute. It can be attractive, depending on what has them worked up, but it is also entirely nuts at times. Then again, we're not women, and we don't live their life, nor see it through their eyes, so we can't ever know. It's just a perplexing vantage point because I see it in all the women around me and hear it from the old bucks out there. Even guys dating models or celebs encounter as MUCH if not more bs b/c these are women who can GET away with such behavior knowing another man would readily suckle her **** at the asking. Those lucky guys though, make the women replaceable.

I know men want to easily discard such behavior as irrational, but in all my experiences women follow this model, and the only solution is for a man to find a woman who RECOGNIZES this and will appreciate the man who has the temperament to endure such behavior. Trying to "shut her down" will only result in her happiness and the fact that she will lose interest in you. It shouldn't be the MAIN reason for interest in you, and ideally, you want her riding your cack while she cries about the world, but it's the same/opposite as how men end up holding it all in.

A-Unit
 

Nighthawk

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Men have been told that when a women tells you her problem, she isn't looking for a solution, but empathy. Men are more likely to ask for help that is practical.

For many years I have accepted this, but ultimately have concluded that it's a sign of women enjoying their drama and wanting an audience. To reject helpful advice, or to not want to solve problems is stupid, regardless of gender.

Having said that, there are some women who don't fit the stereotype, and plenty of men, AFC especially, who are women in this regard.
 

lildevil

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thats amazinly put just the same as Ive found out...its like they will tell you whats wrong but don't want an advice they could careless...its like the first minut the world is falling down and the other is all ok....and its like wtf? just happened...something our logical brains cant understand....

before when I started I used to try to give advice now I just listen and act like it never happened and just keep on going...

Not many know how to explain this phenomenon in wome but simply learn how to live with it....to a newby it can totally **** their brains out...

Thats really true...
 

joekerr31

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Nighthawk said:
Men have been told that when a women tells you her problem, she isn't looking for a solution, but empathy. Men are more likely to ask for help that is practical.

For many years I have accepted this, but ultimately have concluded that it's a sign of women enjoying their drama and wanting an audience. To reject helpful advice, or to not want to solve problems is stupid, regardless of gender.

Having said that, there are some women who don't fit the stereotype, and plenty of men, AFC especially, who are women in this regard.

you know, i may be out of the norm here, but ive found that a lot of women are actually open to advice that will help them with whatever issue they are having.

however, if the woman perceives you as trying to control her or think for her, she typically sees that as a judgement that she is too stupid to take care of the problem themselves.

i find when you present it in the light 'heres what i think. do what you want with it.' they typically are appreciative.

the only time this doesnt apply is if its an issue pertaining to the both of you.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Women's primary need in life is security. Women's penchant for nagging, b!tching, complaining, worrying, rambling, etc. without wanting any feedback or criticism is almost universally an expression of this need for security when she feels she doesn't have it. Remember, when women speak, their primary motive is to convey feelings not information. She doesn't want a rational solution for any of her complaints, she simply wants her feelings to be affirmed. That's what her girlfriends are for. Guys get frustrated because we listen to this sh!t and we think "A+B=C, solve the problem, move on" because they absorb the linear information of what she says and plot a resolution for her.
 

Tazman

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I got into a huge argument with a chick when she decided to vent to me about her supposed "issues". I gave my opinions about her situation and she eventually started insulting me so I told her not to talk to me anymore.

I couldn't believe how angry I was after that conversation, she did a good job in getting me all worked up. I just can't stand to hear someone complain about **** they shouldn't be, I guess I'm just not a good sounding board.
 

WestCoaster

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Rollo Tomassi said:
Women's primary need in life is security. Women's penchant for nagging, b!tching, complaining, worrying, rambling, etc. without wanting any feedback or criticism is almost universally an expression of this need for security when she feels she doesn't have it. Remember, when women speak, their primary motive is to convey feelings not information. She doesn't want a rational solution for any of her complaints, she simply wants her feelings to be affirmed. That's what her girlfriends are for. Guys get frustrated because we listen to this sh!t and we think "A+B=C, solve the problem, move on" because they absorb the linear information of what she says and plot a resolution for her.
Not trying to get inflate your ego RT, but you gotta get this stuff out there to the public, not just on this rather obscure website. This stuff is golden and things I'm still figuring out even at my age. The deal is, however, most guys NEVER figure this out.

I have a date tonight, I'm definitely not going to do my Mr. Fix-It stuff I've done in the past ... and yeah, I'll probably hear a little venting tonight, so be it.
 

Victory Unlimited

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Women's emotions are like a "tempest in a tea pot": SOMETIMES, they are Much ado about NOTHING...

You see, when some women get TOO full of emotion, it makes them emotionally nauseous, so that's when they start to vomit them all up on everybody in the room.

And THE REASON why many women don't care to hear what YOU think about what they just said is THE SAME REASON "you" don't care to hear what SOMEBODY ELSE might think about all the shyt "you" might have just "physically" vomited.
 
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DJDamage

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Tazman said:
I got into a huge argument with a chick when she decided to vent to me about her supposed "issues". I gave my opinions about her situation and she eventually started insulting me so I told her not to talk to me anymore.

I couldn't believe how angry I was after that conversation, she did a good job in getting me all worked up. I just can't stand to hear someone complain about **** they shouldn't be, I guess I'm just not a good sounding board.
haha women don't want you to give them an advice that will fix the situation because the truth hurts and it hurts because many times they are 100% wrong on an issue but only want you to agree with thier view point.

The best bet to deal with women is that If the issue does not concerned you, always agree with her and fault the other party. Remember she doesn't want you to solve it but to make her feel better.
 

jophil28

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Rollo Tomassi said:
Women's primary need in life is security. Women's penchant for nagging, b!tching, complaining, worrying, rambling, etc. without wanting any feedback or criticism is almost universally an expression of this need for security when she feels she doesn't have it. Remember, when women speak, their primary motive is to convey feelings not information. She doesn't want a rational solution for any of her complaints, she simply wants her feelings to be affirmed. That's what her girlfriends are for. Guys get frustrated because we listen to this sh!t and we think "A+B=C, solve the problem, move on" because they absorb the linear information of what she says and plot a resolution for her.
THis is all true - unfortunately !
However, I cannot ever remember ONE problem that I solved in my life by just whining about it to the guys at the golf club.
Ultimately we all can only effect change when we quit complaining and take action.
 

STR8UP

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A-Unit said:
Vent, Bytch, Moan, and Whine to men, yet not hear any criticism whatsoever?

It's as if they want a priest or psychologist who will listen, but remain practically silent, providing no comments or advice, walk away, then resume fvcking.
Funny you should bring this up, because when my friend stopped by the other night and broke down into tears I made it a point to test this theory.

She was sobbing about this and that, but as soon as she calmed down a little I asked her " What can I do to help you? What will make you feel better?"

I knew what the answer would be, and sure enough, there was NOTHING. All she wanted or needed or whatever, was to vent.

She didn't want ideas.

She didn't want advice.

Hell, she didn't even want me to SPEAK other than to tell her "It's gonna be ok".

I don't mind listening to a friend when they need it, but it's kind of frustrating when it's a chick. Glad I don't have to go through that crap too often.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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jophil28 said:
THis is all true - unfortunately !
However, I cannot ever remember ONE problem that I solved in my life by just whining about it to the guys at the golf club.
Ultimately we all can only effect change when we quit complaining and take action.
Hahaha! You prove my point exactly with this statement. Women don't want the problem solved, if there even is one to begin with. They want to communicate the emotion, the anxiety, the insecurity, the feeling. The actual information, the issue to be resolved, is secondary to the feelings it prompts and this is what is of primary importance to women.

The fact that you interpreted it as any guy would - put up, shut up and get down to work to resolve the problem - is exactly the male interpretation. We think in terms of rationally working out a solution. We deal in the information first, not the emotion. This is precisely the dynamic I describe when I talk about the OVERT and COVERT nature of male and female forms of communication. Women need this never ending turmoil to express their constant desire for security in a world that will never be secure. The richest and poorest men in the world will still deal with this until death.
 
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