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hanging with/semi dating pornstar was asked for unprotected sex I said no sh 1t hit the fan

Lvdegen

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This is probably long but somewhat of a very unique situation i know alot of you are gonna say yea right etc but this really went down. I'm not giving out their name obviously but she is known in the porn world, has won avn awards, and has a large social media following 200k+ followers etc. I have seen her videos before including her going raw with dudes so I'm a little grossed out lol.

My close friend (who made out with my ex years ago, more on this later) lives in a different state..I live in the same state as her. My friend is one of those guys who will pay for affection and a codependent who can be manipulated...he does make good money. He flies out to see me and hit up some clubs casinos etc. He then mentions to me that he has been talking to some girl for a month that lives in my state that is a porn star...(i know of her as I have a girlfriend that has told me about her and they have met and talked before). I'm shocked kind of and asked about it he says he found her online and has been texting with her and talking on the phone for a while. I'm like umm ok be careful because she is most likely a predator and will pounce on prey. He doesn't listen obviously. When he came to visit they were going to meet up but didn't because she was being shady etc. with him.

As time goes by he tells me constantly about their interactions like they text every morning saying good morning miss u Goodnight love you..just all nonsense considering they don't live in the same state and have only met TWO times face to face in 3 years no lie (he would come visit and she would say she can't wait to see him he would ask to meet up and she would ignore him the whole time then text him when he knew he was flying out..I would tell him to call her out but he's to spineless)..he would constantly tell me she would ignore his texts phone calls sometimes and he would end up taking pills to put himself to sleep over it lol. He would never call her out on her bs ever. At this point this is all I know about their interactions. Keep telling him she's dangerous and messed up and wonder how long it can go on for with nonsense texts living in separate states with no physcial interaction.

So maybe a month ago he calls me up late at night and says she needs a ride to a doctor's office for something..she doesn't drive and she's 28 lol..I Iive like 3 miles from her so I say fine. At this point I have zero intentions with her even though I should get him back for making out with my ex but I don't. I pick her up i have a 2016 mercedes so i have my shield up because i suspect shes a gold digger and she's good looking , a little socially awkard but talkative and actually intelligent..we end up doing whatever for hours that night driving waiting at doctors pharmacy etc..i ask her how she met my friend...she says he sent her a gift off of her amazon wish list online lol..then said he likes to buy her purses and shoes at this point I'm laughing and I just say wow that's pretty crazy and I drop subtle hints that I'm not a p vss y like that and it's pathetic to be like that..later on she gets into how he gave her 6k for her surgeries..now my mind is blown because he would always deny he bought her anything..but like i said my friend told me about her so I wasn't fully suprised and I know my friend is a target. I drop her off after talking about complete nonsense in her drive way.

She texts me the next day like a 2 am and we just start texting back and forth for hours and hours and this goes on for days and days but it's all bs and she tells me crazy stories about her exes and other things her past which is obviously checkered.

she doesn't get out of the house apparently she says she has little friends gets anxiety and lives with her mom in a house some guy bought for her (she didn't tell me about the house but my girlfriend told me about it lol.) Basically she is antisocial and seems to have delusions abiut eveything including my friend..she starts telling me how they talk about her moving in together in his state and how he is going to take care of her and her surgeries lol. I hear otherwise from my friend he says he wants to keep separated basically jsut having her as a girl to talk too who's hot..she also gets into how he doesn't make an effort to see her ever I just say that's ridiculous and leave it at that I don't tell him about what she says and I don't tell her what he says...at this point he doesn't know she is texting me I never initiate and never ask to hang out.

One day she asks me if I could take her to the pharmacy probably a week after the first encounter..I say sure pick her up drops off prescription then we go eat..when we eat she pays for herself and I pay for myself...we talk drive talk and we talk in her drive way...at this point I know she's lonely as f...and she asks me questions about my friend I just say I don't know etc..then she gets into how it's crazy he doesn't even come around for holidays but yet uses her time becuase they talk on the phone everyday for hours...im just like well it's weird etc but leave it at that...i dont hint at anything at all..drop her off...then for the next days she texts late at night and we text for hours and hours about nonsense like rapid fire texts.

One days she asks me if I want to go to the gym with her becuase she knows I'm into working out I say ok..she never replies back after I said ok so I leave it at that...she asks me again 2 days later I say ok and this time she says come over let's go so I go...we workout eat talk...next day she asks me to come over to go to gym but now she asks me to go In her house because she has to get ready I go in then we go to the gym..at this point my sleep schedule is messed up becuaee she does webcam to make her money and hasn't shot porn in a year. So we are up crazy weird hours..we end up going to the gym multiple times and go with her friend who is a porn star also..we eat I pay for myself and she pays for herself becuaee I don't want to act like I'm courting her because I really don't i just talk netural etc she's just cool to hang with and that's all I'm interested in she never asks for money or anything just go to the gym which she gets me in everytime for free becuase I have a membership else whwre.

I start hearing about some girl that has been living with her for 6 months because she got kicked out of her house..apparently she wasn't happy being there becuase the girl was claiming she was being treated like a slave becuase she was living for free including food..one night she tells me her friend moved out and she was upset and that they shared her bed everynight.

The next day I go over her house before the gym and I go in her house and she's wearing see thru robe lol no bra lol..I'm like umm ok...we talk In her dining room..she starts telling me how she's getting fed up with my friend becuase vday is approaching and he's making no effort to see her. And says that she told him that me and her have been hanging out alot and shes starting to have a crush on me..im like why woukd u say that.

I go up to her bedroom and start watching tv while she's getting ready and she's on the bed next to me at this point I think she's testing to see what I will do if I will make an advance etc..I don't becuase of my friend..she gets ready eventually and we go to the gym..drop her off sleep.

The next night I get a text about how she can't sleep and needs someone to sleep in her bed with her..then she asks me to come over and I say ok obviously..we have been getting real close personally. It's like 3 am I go to her bed feels awkward but we lay down I don't touch and she doesn't touch we sleep...we do whatever after waking up she starts getting a little touchy in the supermarket but at this point I have felt a little intimidated the whple time since we met because she is well known and all the stories of sugar daddys etc I just can't believe this is going on and she's not hitting me up for anything except to go to the gym and she's buying her own food etc.

The next night she asks me to come over again I go..we watch a movie and no touching...then after the movie she lies down on me and gets on her phone...my shirts off etc so I lay there with her on me..we eventually go to bed at like 9am lol laying facing each other legs overlapping etc...I get woken up by her and we start messing around..i get hard and ask for a condom and she's says she doesn't have one and neither do I she then goes on to say she's clean becuaee the adult industry is strict etc etc but she would tell me about her exes within the time she's been with since she stopped shooting porn...so I eventually jsut say no..she then says wow finally got ur clothes off and u ruin it by asking for a condom lol I just say I'm paranoid becuase i always play safe and especially with someone like her no way..we sleep

Next few days we hang out sleep together and cuddle all the time and we kiss...even in public we kiss and I hold her and she's responsive and can see she genuinely has some type of feelings for me and I'm getting strong feelings her like I I wojld grab her from behind and she would just lean right into me and we would kiss on the lips...even when I would leave her house we would kiss and when I would come to her bed I would l.hold her and kiss her and we would stare etc..at this point I'm neglecting my dog my sleep etc.
 

Lvdegen

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One night I have to leave her house so she gets really really shy and I say what is wrong and kind of laugh she then freaks out and says she needs her medicine becuase she's getting anxiety (she's on antidepressants and Xanax lol) obviously red flags but I knew this when I first met her. I hold her and tell her to relax don't worry...I leave kiss her come back later and she sits far away she looks like she's on pills...she comes close then then we go to her room...it's early and she lays down which is not normal..she lays side by side and jsut holds my hand and does not do the usual cuddling but I keep cool and don't say anythung..she gets up and turns on the shower I hear here leaving a voicemail and I'm 100 % sure it's my friend..but I keep quiet..I start testing her by moving close and giving negative body language she kind of nudges away but then gets kind of close its just weird...now I know she is hypersensitive becuaee of me asking abiut her shyness I guess it made her feel shameful and spite towards me...I lay there and start thinking this is stupid and I'm neglecting my dog and the gym and sleep..I almost left in the middle of the night but decided I was gonna give her a chance and see what she does when she wakes up...when she wakes up she's back to normal asking to hold me and kissing me.

We sleep together again and now Vday comes and says she feels bad because my friend sent her flowers but she's in rage mode about my friend not coming to see her and says she's gonna make his vday hell I laugh..then she asks if we can go do some stuff...we go to whole foods she buys her own stuff I buy my own we then she wants to go to the nail salon didn't ask me for anything..I decide to pay for her nails because we still are kissing all the time etc and I do genuinely have feelings for her and feel she does the same..it was a suprised that I pi ad becuase she didn't see me pay...when we go in the car she started kissing me passionately..we sleep cuddle but no sex..I could actually care less about sex becuaee I am on the asexual side so if it goes it goes it's whatever. Plus I think back to her videos with some black dude going raw on her so I'm like umm mm lol.

We talk and sleep together the next few days she starts asking me if I would go to LA with her for her porn shoots and travel with her I say yea I'll bring my dog etc.. and if I'll go with her and take care of her after she gets her surgeries. I say ok. But all of this was said to my friend becuaee he would tell me about it.
 

Lvdegen

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Yesterday we wake up and go do some stuff and go to eat...after we eat I ask her to sleep at my house becuaee I wanna be with my dog...she says ok..we get to my house she gets in bed takes off her clothes then wants to f k. I say I want a condom she then flips out saying how just becuaee she's a porn star people think she's dirty then gets into all the testing they do..I say no u haven't been tested for months atleast 6...she puts on her clothes and demands to be taken home and starts getting crazy like saying insults under her breath how she wants to get back with her ex that she would have normal unprotected sex with like a normal couple..the ex use to live with her but lives in another state but their relationship is weird like they would do webcam and he was like 21...she keeps saying f this city this that..I take her home and say I'm not stupid and that go right ahead and f raw some other dude and kept saying I want her fully tested and u wanna be fully tested before unprotected...she just kept going on and on we get to her house and she's says this will never work out becuaee of her wanting unprotected sex i said she needs to be tested..she's oblivious and says it was nice meeting u give me a hug I say w tf no..she gets out I go home...I text her asking what her problem is about being tested and having sex with a condom for the time being she replies and says she's sorry and overreacted and was rushing etx...she then says she has a hiv oral test at her house we talk on the phone then after texting...she says she was crying and how she wants to see and I say I wanna see her..I say well talk about it the test etc.

I go over and we hug and kiss and she's sad etc and we go to her room...she starts pushing for sex again I say not before u get tested she pulls out the oral hiv test..it comes back negative then she pushes and pushes I say no full test for both of us so there's no issues she gets on the bed I get on her we kiss and she's getting horny...she starts grtting bossy and I say sex with a condom tonight..she then says she's been tested and wears condoms on top of that when shooting scenes..I say listen I knew who u were before I met u and have seen ur videos amd have seen u go raw with multiple guys then she back pedals and says some excuse..she says she wamts a regualr realtionship whwre she can have unporotectd sex amd says shes not looking for fwb condom sex lol and how she trusts me and how I should trust her becuaee of her "intuition"...sshe finally gives up and hints at me to put on my clothes and leave..I put on my clothes and we talk and I say what is wrong with getting tested first she just kept pointing to the oral test I said no both of us full test she just gets fed up and starts saying how she has been talking to her 21 yr old ex who ive heard of before who comes from some fd up family and how she's trying to get him to move back in with her and how we can still hang and be friends and eat once in a while I basically say f that..I bite my lip becuase I have multiple girls I hang with I was actually with one the night before I messed with before I went over her house...and even have one from Brazil most likely moving in with me for a month or two within 1.5 months...to help her get her on her feet she's an ex pro fighter lol but that's a different story....I proceed finally to tell her that's good I myself have multiple options and showed her a real text from a girl saying how she gets off at 2am while we were arguing...and mentioned the Brazilian moving in...i then start to say how ridiculous she is abiut the testing and raise my voice but only slightly basically saying she's stupid as f. I also say how I've been neglecting my dog for her my gym time and sleep for her and she said she's been sacrificing her time..even though she's lazy and doesn't do anything but sleep bacislly..I start walking downstairs to leave I say don't fn text me ever again she said ok and i said don't talk about me to anyone and when I walked out the door I said "ur fn retarded".

I go home drained but I text her and say w tf is urpobelme with testing and how's she's irrational etc nothing mean...I then try to call goes straight to voicemail..I know she blocked me becuase she told me how she would block my friend and others including the girl who moved out and deleted her from all social media accounts etc...I go to sleep wake up no texts...I have a second number so I decide to text her just to make everything clear and make sure that she sees she is an idiot and irrational but I said it in a nice way it was long but she has sent long messages so it's not new for long messages...I tried to have somewhat of light hearted tone...I even start the text with "let me first off start with saying Make America Great Again!" Yes very random but still kind of throws off the seriousness of it all..I also said I care about her and like her but we've told each other all this before but I still jsut wanted to say it becuase I really do. I ended the message by sayimg "unblock me if u wanna unblock me if u wanna block me then block me but if so go fk ya self (New York accent)" that was an inside joke between us so I decided to throw it in at the end.

She honestly is a fun person to be around with is intelligent in most ways and she is caring I think she would even financially take care of me if I needed it honestly...she's offered things to give me has given me food and doesn't intrude on me like I assumed she would try but she never asked one time for anything always offered to pay when we wrmt out and wukd say she dodnt want tk act like shes usijg me and didnt wamt me to get that idea..offered to take me with her to LA and have eveything taken care of.I framed it that I'm not a sugar daddy and it's pathetic for guys to givr gifts for affection from the get go ...there are so many guys out there such as my friend that tried to pay for her affection dudes buying her houses for f sake and I'm getting everything these guys want and they would pay a heavy price financially and mentally for it.

I know she has borderline personality disorder and a narcissist but she does have some empathy I can tell but she for sure has entitlement issues like myself..I myself am a narcissist from being spoiled my whole life amd being in close contact ejth my girlfriend for 9 years who is a patholigcal narcissist in whxuh her traits have rubbed off on me but i do have some empathy..probablt why I got away with so much with such a small price to pay with this girl. I have not texted her since this afternoon 100% she saw the text becuase she doesn't have my second number blocked...I looked on her instagram and she had some stupid little pic that said #relatioshipgoalsbutyoureplaying which is referring to my friend and her I've told her multiple times that relatioship is virtual reality and she agreed..but obviously he's here safe place despite her mentally and financially abusing him..he still talks to her despite the fact he knows about me...I haven't talked to him ever since she told me she told him she likes me..but I payed him back for making out with my ex years ago..he deserves whatever..I honestly don't care if I talk to him at this point becuase the awkwardness is way too high...she obviously goes in cycles with people so who knows if she will talk to me ever again she saw my texts so she has the ball..I imagine I hurt her ego by denying unprotected sex and calling her a fn retard...I don't know what I want it's not really draining to me except for the weird sleep schedule and would for sure have to have my dog with me or be with my dog way more if we were to ever talk again but other than that no money is involved amd I have alot of time becuase I'm very accessible from not having a 9 to5. She is mentally unstable hypersensitive but a sweetheart and could have flare ups I suppose and would have to go unprotected only after we got fully tested..for the weeks we were hanging out we hand zero problems until last night. Who knows I'm gonna give it like 3-4 days let her sit in her room alone becuase I know that's what shebdoes amd she can chit chat with my friend in another state for hours a day for all I care..I might text In like in 4 days depending on how I feel I don't know..I'm in semi shock because we were together alot and sleeping together all the time and now that is all in jeopardy so it feels weird being home alone but I'm content with being alone
 
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SteR

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I read most of it, but I have no idea what you were expecting to happen here?

1. You're getting involved with a porn star here - these aren't exactly the paragons of mental health
2. You're doing this behind the back of your supposed 'friend' who's interested in her

This isn't a case of red flags.. this is a case of red bricks being thrown directly at your head and you still choose to ignore them and get involved in this mess.

You should've walked away after the first interaction imo. You're playing with fire...
 

speed dawg

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I'll never know why I actually read that, but I did.

Most guys would kill to bang a porn star, yet you are trying to be her boyfriend. SMH. Props to you for calling her out on being a dirty hor though. And yes, she sounds narcissistic and all those other terrible things that are typical qualities of a girl like this.

At least post some pics, though. This thread is WEAK without you telling us who it is.
 

Bible_Belt

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Don't lick her pvssy. She's got to have umpteen strains of HPV, which will give you oral cancer. Your d!ck is actually a lot less susceptible to HPV than your mouth, or at least getting it on your d!ck won't kill you.
 

Alvafe

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last I know most pornstar works as escorts, so you are trying to date a *****? serious? why i'm thinking of internet fanfic here?
 

The Duke

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What a story! You telling her NO to unprotected sechs further validated her negative feelings she has for herself. You will not improve anything by trying to have a rational discussion with her regarding this issue.
 

Billtx49

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Not even normal female baggage… She carries a train load of it with her plus other mental issues. Extreme caution advised here.
 

Lvdegen

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I know she can be sweet and kind for a long amount of time but when she wants something and gets rejected she takes it real personal and the evil vile side comes out but I know from my knowledge of personality disorders it's fake it's her false persona becuase I know deep down she is very fragile and if she feels attacked she counters almost to a psychotic level to reassert her feeling of power..but I can read thru all of this.
 

Lvdegen

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last I know most pornstar works as escorts, so you are trying to date a *****? serious? why i'm thinking of internet fanfic here?
Like I said some might not believe it but I'm not some typical pathetic dude who dreams it really happens
 

Lvdegen

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I'm actually kind of curious if there is any recovery from saying I got other options showing her a text telling her not to text me and calling her retarded lol..but I did send that text the next day to clarify everything and lay the blame on her..not saying I will pursue her again but I'm curious if there is recovery...I know she just sits at home all day long talking to my friend long distance day in day out and doesn't meet people so I'm not worried but she might be in full shut down mode I have no clue
 

Tom Shivoe

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I would run a fcuking mile. Long story short, I got offered an international relocation about 3 months after I hooked up with my narcissist ex, and she started pushing for unprotected intercourse. I didn't do it but one night we had an "accident" with (provided by her) contraception. She got knocked up so, being an idiot, I bought a ring because that was the only way she could get a visa to relocate with me. That led to seven miserable years of marriage. She became steadily more abusive over the years and I only walked after the abuse got physical (but not soon enough). She has still got my kids.

If you are saying you know this girl is borderline and/or narc, that is reason enough to run. They will go as far as getting pregnant to snare you if that is what they have decided they want. If that sounds extreme, I can tell you it happened to me.
 

Lvdegen

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I would run a fcuking mile. Long story short, I got offered an international relocation about 3 months after I hooked up with my narcissist ex, and she started pushing for unprotected intercourse. I didn't do it but one night we had an "accident" with (provided by her) contraception. She got knocked up so, being an idiot, I bought a ring because that was the only way she could get a visa to relocate with me. That led to seven miserable years of marriage. She became steadily more abusive over the years and I only walked after the abuse got physical (but not soon enough). She has still got my kids.

If you are saying you know this girl is borderline and/or narc, that is reason enough to run. They will go as far as getting pregnant to snare you if that is what they have decided they want. If that sounds extreme, I can tell you it happened to me.
I met a narc 9 years ago who knows of this girl..with the narc I've known I endured years of mental abuse to the point where I would get on drugs and I knew I was being controlled...but I had narc traits myself and atleast nowadays I consider myself having many narc traits don't know if it's pathological but it's there to begin with so I was able to handle situations better than most would but she was overpowering at points..I finally came across an expert on youtube on narcs and watched hours and hours and finally understood what was going on in her head and even my head being the codependent...now she knows I know her moves etc so she can't f with me anymore but I am her nearest and dearest...guys grovel over her it's insane she gets whatever it's insane...that's why with this pornstar I was already prepared from my previous experience and knowledge and my own personality where she knew she could not hit me up for money and would have to either hang with me in a normal type of partnership based on emotion or nothing at all so I got plenty out of her when I know guys in my position would immediately go for sex buy gifts try to impress her I just didn't care too much and I'm very accessible good looking take care of myself have a nice car educated and well traveled so especially since she doesn't leave the house I'm like a diamond to her or was it dont know yet I'm going NC for 4 days and see what happens becuase I know when I get isolated stuck in my house I contact girls that have done me wrong in the past no matter what they did becuaee I just need to go hang and do something. I really don't get emotional with any of them I flirt but that's it they wanna date etc but I dont..this girl is the first in a real long time I felt emotions for like this but now I look at her from a non emotional perspective but rather a project to fill my time in with when I don't have intentions to be her bf becuaee it's just not feasible I just want her around when I want to hang out with her not sleep everynight and be 24/7 that's too much..I don't know well see...I just kee0 thinking about my friend how much abuse he's going thru with her on a weekly basis because I k ow she is I even said it to her that he's her codependent and she knew I knew..but she knows she can't pull that bs on me..she knows my friend and that I hang with her and she's smoking hot..I'm actually picking up my narc right now to eat lol ..I'm glad I can separate my emotions within a day and just put them all in the same basket sure some are at the top of the basket but atleast there in the same one.
 

RalphaWreck

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I read most of it. I must admit you tell a great story. Develop the skill.
 

LoveSunSet

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I would run a fcuking mile. Long story short, I got offered an international relocation about 3 months after I hooked up with my narcissist ex, and she started pushing for unprotected intercourse. I didn't do it but one night we had an "accident" with (provided by her) contraception. She got knocked up so, being an idiot, I bought a ring because that was the only way she could get a visa to relocate with me. That led to seven miserable years of marriage. She became steadily more abusive over the years and I only walked after the abuse got physical (but not soon enough). She has still got my kids.

If you are saying you know this girl is borderline and/or narc, that is reason enough to run. They will go as far as getting pregnant to snare you if that is what they have decided they want. If that sounds extreme, I can tell you it happened to me.
She got abusive? Have you spoken to her about this? or she is just a violent person? How children cope with all of this? I have a similar story and I must admit she got real violent with me over nothing, really. We have lots of arguments, but there is a share of my fault in it too. I suspect she must be a narc but I'm not sure. How did you find yours is borderline/narc? I really love my children and dont want to be away from them. I want understand her and help us, but really not sure where to begin.
 

Mattyice23

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She got abusive? Have you spoken to her about this? or she is just a violent person? How children cope with all of this? I have a similar story and I must admit she got real violent with me over nothing, really. We have lots of arguments, but there is a share of my fault in it too. I suspect she must be a narc but I'm not sure. How did you find yours is borderline/narc? I really love my children and dont want to be away from them. I want understand her and help us, but really not sure where to begin.
You want to understand narcs? Type Sam vaknin on youtube
 

Lvdegen

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Well tonight I said f it and texted her to see if I was blocked or not..I said im sorry let's just say we're both sorry let's go to the gym then didn't hear anything back for an hour so I said im going...I have no clue if she's even seeing the message...I actually kind of hope she doesn't so she can unblock when she feels the need too and won't realize what I even said...also on a side note I went on my usual jo site and guess what low and behold she pops up right on a banner ad su ck1ng a dk so that was nice and I just thought to myself is this real life lol.

This girl is 65% bpd the rest narc..the narc i know is a 9/10 on the looks scale so I've kept her around for 9 years so with this one we will see what happens I have recovered before lol to me the content is not nearly as relevant as just giving her some attention..it's not a bad thing to stimulate by throwing in a nonsense text. Some guys move on immediately but I'm not a firm believer in that..if I was in would not be able to hang out with the 4 other girls I am currently hanging out with because I have had blow outs with all of them that were way worst and I still got them to come back
 
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RalphaWreck

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Age
54
Well tonight I said f it and texted her to see if I was blocked or not..I said im sorry let's just say we're both sorry let's go to the gym then didn't hear anything back for an hour so I said im going...I have no clue if she's even seeing the message...I actually kind of hope she doesn't so she can unblock when she feels the need too and won't realize what I even said...also on a side note I went on my usual jo site and guess what low and behold she pops up right on a banner ad su ck1ng a dk so that was nice and I just thought to myself is this real life lol.

This girl is 65% bpd the rest narc..the narc i know is a 9/10 on the looks scale so I've kept her around for 9 years so with this one we will see what happens I have recovered before lol to me the content is not nearly as relevant as just giving her some attention..it's not a bad thing to stimulate by throwing in a nonsense text. Some guys move on immediately but I'm not a firm believer in that..if I was in would not be able to hang out with the 4 other girls I am currently hanging out with because I have had blow outs with all of them that were way worst and I still got them to come back
You do realize all this is crazy talk and butthurt rationalization right?
 
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