The way I look at it now is she didn’t make other guys wait so why make me? If she can prove to me she’s made ALL guys wait 4 dates or a month or 3 months, whatever the case may be, then ok. But if she’s trying to string me along with no sex and keeps trying to talk to me, I messed up somewhere along the way or I sent off some signal that she sees something in me she can use me for without giving me sex. F that. She can go the fvck on. I’ve even been straight up “I’m not wasting my time on a girl that I can’t have sex with, bye”. I get called an ******* for this but at least I’m honest as to why I’m walking away if she asks.
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Girls sleeping with you quickly is not a good thing
- Thread starter Pandora
- Start date
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
This kind of behavior is a real mindscrewer, and quite disturbing. You don't know if she lied in the past, or if she's lying now to hurt you. Either way it shows a sick mind. My ex plate did the same thing with a movie I told her she might like and she went on to watch... I specifically said she doesn't have to pretend to like it if she doesn't. She acts like she loves it, asks me why we can't live like the people in the movie, but then when we're breaking it off much later she brings it up and says she never liked the movie...
As for the thread subject of waiting with sex, my motto is: It's pretty much guaranteed that she didn't make guys from her past wait more than a few dates at the most, so why is she making you wait? The problem isn't how long you wait or that you absolutely need sex ASAP... the problem is, why is she giving you less than she gives the other men? I feel staying in a situation like that is to disrespect myself, and that something is wrong. If there was a way to read in the heavens how she has treated other men in her life then sure, but there isn't, and she will certainly try to convince you she's the chaste woman of your fantasy. I'm not buying it, and there's no need to... it's just an unnecessary tradcon fantasy.
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I agree with you when you say that sleeping with a guy quickly is normal in todays culture. What I am saying is that hook up culture is not healthy. A woman is not designed to sleep with a man quickly. Sleeping with a man quickly is a sign of cultural degeneracy and personal neurosis. Women are supposed to be sexually "hard" to get. Sleeping with men quickly is a sign of impulsivity. It is also a sign of lack of self esteem. Promiscuity is a validation seeking behavior. The fact that female promiscuity is normalized in todays culture shows that we are going down the wrong path.
If sleeping with a guy on the first date were normal then men would not get the visceral disgust they feel for easy girls. Being easy is one of the worst things a young woman can be. She is treating her most valuable asset as if it is nothing. Things are changing for the better though. Society is starting to see the deleterious effects of hook up culture.
Serenity
Moderator
I think you misread the date, this thread is from 2017 not 2007, it's just a year old. Besides that I disagree, not much has changed in 12 years. Technology has changed, but dating hasn't changed that much.
I for sure think it existed, but it's more exposed now because much more of it happens online. Before most of it happened offline, leaving little evidence of the existence of this culture. Hookups has probably happened for thousands of years...
Feminism such as what we have today has been around for several decades. Only difference is that we have the internet which enables them an easy way to effectively spread their ideas and grow their numbers, the ideas are nothing new.
It always has been, prostitution is one of the oldest jobs that exist.
Making this the one and only parameter that makes or breaks a relationship is dumb. It seems guys on here only evaluates sex, we learn how to get it and few progress from that. Nowhere on here do I find guys discussing how to evaluate a woman besides sex. It's just NEXT, we start over and pull out when we reach the same point instead of exploring it further. Like the only thing of value is sex, I find that depressing as fvck.
I waited far longer than both you and @Pandora suggests, but my patience sure has paid off. Why didn't I just next? I didn't because I was very sure she would come around after a while, I could see beyond the narrow thought of "it's been 3 dates and no sex, everything else is irrelevant". I learned how to evaluate with more than just 1 parameter and I was right in my predictions because of it. I have fvcked her any time I wanted for almost 4 years now, many times she's initiating and there's no sign of that ever dying down. But this is only a fraction of what I love about her, there's so much more that made her worth the wait.
You'll likely not have that because you don't have the patience. You will risk wasting some time, but how much time are you already wasting on going from one slvt to the next? Wasting in what sense? What do you consider not a waste of time? What are you looking for in women besides sex?
She should be progressing sexually and romantically with you. This doesn't mean sex. If a girl is progressing sexually with you then she is not trying to play you for a chump. There is progress. Maybe make out the first week, petting the second week etc etc.
To require a girl to make the SAME mistakes she made with the last guy is not a good thing. If a girl is genuinely trying to wait to have sex because she doesn't want to fu*k up again then you should encourage that. Just make sure that sex will happen. They way to do that is to progress slowly. It doesn't always mean that you are chump. When will she become a better woman if you don't teach her how to become a better woman?
RickTheToad
Moderator
I agree 100%. However, the ladies know, if they do not sleep with the dude in the first 3 or 4 dates, she's not "in to them". Plus, there is a lot more competition nowadays with the online apps. Therefore, men have to adapt with the times. Ladies have already adapted.
RickTheToad
Moderator
I've waited before, and I was friendzoned. However, if it works for you, go for it. No judgements here.
Bro I agree. The best sex is the sex that you had to anticipate for. Its the buildup to the final act that makes is so much better. What tastes better? Slow cooked thanksgiving dinner or that 2 min microwave TV dinner. Remember easy *** easy go. See what I did there =)
Everything in life requires balance. No one is saying wait a year, but within the first few encounters is not healthy for anyone. The best relationships are built on a foundation OTHER than sex. Imagine if Corey banged Topanga right away? There would be no Boy Meets World lol.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Yes, look at how long Corey had to wait for Topanga... Making the assertion of cooking and sex are a bit different.
No you were friend zoned because you were not sexually progressing. I get what you are trying to say. I have been friend zoned many times too. I guarantee that you were not even getting a make out session when they friend zoned you. This is the crucial difference.
Waiting does not mean no sexual activity. Waiting just means waiting for sex. You have to at least be getting something. If you are getting NO sexual activity then you will be friend zoned.
As the emotional bond gets stronger over the course of weeks then the intensity of the sexual activity should ramp up proportionally. Sex is a an expression of emotional bonding culminating in the ultimate expression of bonding....a child.
You’re playing a dangerous game if you don’t know what you’re doing, you will be president of the friend zone if you drag your feet too long. I’ve been there, I dated a girl for 3 months and got NOTHING. I only needed to do that once to learn my lesson and the lesson is this, she has 3 dates. 4 MAX, depending on how cool of a girl she is. If she’s not at 3rd base by then, she’s gone. I’m gone. I don’t care if she changes her mind and begs for sex on date 5, that makes me even more mad because she knows why I split and now dangles it in front of me if I come back. Hell no. Abundance is the new game, if she wont **** or get off the pot another girl will.
Thats why Corey and Topanga got married because they both waited and actually built a real bond. This is fictional of course lolol.
Cooking and sex are similar. Fast food is fast and it tastes good at the time but it is unhealthy for you. Home cooked food takes forever but its healthy for you. Good things are often worth the wait.
You only fall into the friend zone if you don't go in for the kiss the FIRST date. If you don't even get a kiss by the first or second date then yes of course she is trying to play you. Thats not what I am saying. I am saying make a move on her sexually. But be happy when she reject actually sex. You have found a keeper. If she is easy for you trust me bro she is easy for a lot of other dudes too. This is a FACT. Don't delude yourself. No girl will make out with you and then friendzone you. It doesn't exist. Once you kiss and make out at least one good time, you have just taken yourself out of the friend zone. Now it is time to take it slow and slowly sexually progress over the course of a few weeks. Then smash.
This will reduce buyers remorse and this will screen out the crazy sluts.
I agree with you tho. This is how we have to play the game in America. It is sad though. Its not the way the game is played in more healthy nations. In healthy nations it is a slow progression to sex.
Not always true. I not only kissed her the first and second date, I kissed her EVERY date. Tried my best to escalate beyond it but got nowhere. She never came to my house even though I tried many times to get her to, couldn’t sleep with her at her house because of reasons she kept coming up with, she would use the excuse “I just got out of a bad relationship and don’t want to rush things”. Sorry but 3 months and no sex isn’t rushing ****. She eventually friend zoned me because I noticed while we still would go on dates, she wasn’t as flirty and receptive to kissing as before. I knew I was dead in the water so I ghosted. Hell she even told me her mom told her she was stupid to let me get away because she was fooling herself if she thought the good ones like me weren’t going to catch the eye of someone else who was ready to be in a relationship and didn’t need to take things super slow. I mean I’m sorry her ex hurt her but don’t make me suffer because of it.
Serenity
Moderator
As @Pandora said, you still need to be sexually progressing. I wasn't passive at all, I was trying and trying again for it, she politely rejected my advances. Point is she knew I saw her that way, she was interested and clearly showed her interest in other ways, she just wasn't ready for sex early on. She told me she wanted to do it, she just didn't feel ready yet.
Had I not tried to escalate and passively wait for her to initiate then sure I would have risked the being friendzoned. You shouldn't stop trying and you shouldn't be discouraged by some small rejections if she's otherwise interested but just not comfortable with fvcking yet.
It seems that you think "waiting" in this context is synonymous with being passive, this is not what I'm talking about. We were making out a lot and doing stuff together that we enjoy, clearly not a friendzone situation and clearly a dating situation. The most important thing to avoid the friendzone isn't to have sex, it's to clearly communicate what you want.
I've been friendzoned by a girl I fvcked before, I was too sexually passive and didn't clearly communicate exactly what I wanted. I did communicate clearly immediately after she gave me the LJBF speech and she took a 180. I straight up told her I didn't want that, it was either gonna be more than just friends or nothing at all. To add more about this particular girl, she fvcked on the first date, but after all the LJBF sh!t and some more sex I quickly found out she was low quality. She was screwing more than just me, lied a bunch and severely lacked personality. I went ghost on her, she begged to have me back but I wasn't having it. I went from LJBF to "please come back" within a week. She was playing games, I wasn't and she lost because of it.
I literally can't see what you did there because "cvm" is censored, lol. Jokes aside, in my experience you're absolutely correct.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Some guys want to roll the dice and play the waiting game, cool. Different strokes for different folks. The end game is still the same.
I agree. Everyone has a different style. Maybe I am too judgmental about women sexuality idk but its just what I believe. I could be wrong. I need to travel more to experience how women of different nations handle sex.
Asia women is more conservative whilst Western women is more open to ons or anything sexual.
I'm talking about the average woman and not the sex workers nor the sluts that hang around nightspots.
As for the narratives put forth here, most are fallacies or naivety due to lack of experiences.
A woman can withhold sex with you for 3 months but yet have no reservations to sleep with another man the same night she met him.
Deep down many of you know this as facts.
Just because she withhold sex towards you doesn't means she high quality.
Timing and the right type of man plays a role in a women wanting to spread her legs.
That's the only truth.
A woman can withhold sex with you for 3 months but yet have no reservations to sleep with another man the same night she met him.
Deep down many of you know this as facts.
Just because she withhold sex towards you doesn't means she high quality.
Timing and the right type of man plays a role in a women wanting to spread her legs.
That's the only truth.
