IBreatheSpears
Senior Don Juan
On saturday night I was with my gf and some of my friends and I was having a pretty intense conversation with our mutual friend about race, feminism, Trump and so on. We were agreeing on pretty much everything and kind of leaving my gf out of the conversation and apparently talking over her.
At one point she tried to speak over me and I said something like "I'm still speaking", which I guess can be seen as rude, but so is talking over me. Later the three of us were walking home and not really speaking to her because she kept trying to interrupt us and change the subject. She says she started the conversation and my friend and I hijacked it which may or may not be true - I can't remember. After my friend left, she tried to tell me how she felt which I interpreted as an attempt to start an argument over what I felt was reasonable behaviour. So I ignored her during the 20 minutes bus journey home and then got off the bus at my stop without saying anything to her. She stayed on the bus so we went to our respective houses. She started texting me about how she was upset and I basically told her to fúck off (in so many words).
She said what I "did to her" was humiliating, that I treated her like a child, and that I wouldn't have done it to a man (which is not true as my standard response when anyone speaks over me is along the lines of "Hold on, I'm not done"). I explained this and that my friend and I were drunk and this is standard male bonding behaviour but she's acting like I did something terrible. She admits it's because she's sensitive and has low self-esteem.
When I woke up she called me shouting over the phone. I couldn't be bothered to argue back so I just listened and then told her I was coming over later. A few hours afterwards I went to her house to see her and we discussed it & made up and had sex after arguing a little. I admitted that speaking over her and excluding her from the conversation was rude although also said something one of us said about something being "for pússies" is also offensive because she's a girl, which I told her I wasn't apologising for because it's ridiculous. This is just how men speak. Now she's texting me that she can't stop thinking about it. She says she's still upset and said it "might help" if I apologised again (in fact although I admitted wrongdoing I never said "sorry" because I think she's really overreacting). I told her we already discussed this and pointed out that it's unreasonable to expect me to apologise repeatedly.
How do I handle this? I don't want to be aggressive and upset her more, but I'm not going to bend over apologising either. I want her to get over it. This seems like it could be a massive shít test but I think she is genuinely hurt. But it's her responsibility to get past it since I've admitted fault. There's not much else I can do.
At one point she tried to speak over me and I said something like "I'm still speaking", which I guess can be seen as rude, but so is talking over me. Later the three of us were walking home and not really speaking to her because she kept trying to interrupt us and change the subject. She says she started the conversation and my friend and I hijacked it which may or may not be true - I can't remember. After my friend left, she tried to tell me how she felt which I interpreted as an attempt to start an argument over what I felt was reasonable behaviour. So I ignored her during the 20 minutes bus journey home and then got off the bus at my stop without saying anything to her. She stayed on the bus so we went to our respective houses. She started texting me about how she was upset and I basically told her to fúck off (in so many words).
She said what I "did to her" was humiliating, that I treated her like a child, and that I wouldn't have done it to a man (which is not true as my standard response when anyone speaks over me is along the lines of "Hold on, I'm not done"). I explained this and that my friend and I were drunk and this is standard male bonding behaviour but she's acting like I did something terrible. She admits it's because she's sensitive and has low self-esteem.
When I woke up she called me shouting over the phone. I couldn't be bothered to argue back so I just listened and then told her I was coming over later. A few hours afterwards I went to her house to see her and we discussed it & made up and had sex after arguing a little. I admitted that speaking over her and excluding her from the conversation was rude although also said something one of us said about something being "for pússies" is also offensive because she's a girl, which I told her I wasn't apologising for because it's ridiculous. This is just how men speak. Now she's texting me that she can't stop thinking about it. She says she's still upset and said it "might help" if I apologised again (in fact although I admitted wrongdoing I never said "sorry" because I think she's really overreacting). I told her we already discussed this and pointed out that it's unreasonable to expect me to apologise repeatedly.
How do I handle this? I don't want to be aggressive and upset her more, but I'm not going to bend over apologising either. I want her to get over it. This seems like it could be a massive shít test but I think she is genuinely hurt. But it's her responsibility to get past it since I've admitted fault. There's not much else I can do.