Garage husbands

[Down Low]

I once lived in a suburb where all the men were relegated to their garages. Whenever a garage door was up, there'd be a man puttering around inside. He'd have a couch and desk, TV on, maybe clicking on a computer, and some mini fridge or hot plate going.

Of the neighbors I knew, none of the men were happily married. Some of them were relegated to upstairs bedrooms that had been converted into home offices. Others slept in a different bedroom from their wives. The men made quickie snacks all day out of cold cuts, chips, and cola. They all drank heavily.

Thing is, most of them had pretty good paying jobs and two cars out front. It seems that their wives were all unhappy over living for free in a new house, having a free car to drive, and having credit cards to go shopping with all day.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Sad but true, I know others who go even further and would simply stay longer in the work place far from their wifes to be left alone.

Not sure if they simply lost their frame or they didnt have any frame at all from the beginning and their wifes married the good beta after getting old and fat but its obvious that these men have a problem....which is very likely to be a "large and in charge" one.

Anyway I appreciate your posts as much as burrough's one, apparently your borderline grumpy nature makes you able to notice things that others dont or subconsciously ignore...a good contribution in my opinion.

 

[5string]

It's not called a garage. It's called the fortress of solitude.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My (now ex-)wife had a copy of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that I read, and I think it actually made a lot of good points. The author talks about guys having a need to "cave," which means away time in a workshop or lost in a project. His point in talking about it was to explain it to women, so that they could understand and recognize what was going on, without taking it personally that sometimes men want to be away from them. So the author basically got women to pay him $20 for the advice of "stfu, stop nagging, and leave him alone when he wants to be alone."

 

[The Duke]

My grandma was highly educated and held a "high level" management job. She pretty much ran the household. My grandpa was just a simple blue collar worker. At some point in their late 50's they stopped sleeping together. My grandpa moved into the spare bedroom in the basement and grandma stayed in their old bedroom. She claimed it was due to his snoring. The basement pretty much became my grandpa's little world where he spent most of his time. He always watched tv there and ate a lot of sandwiches in the comfort of his basement.

At some point my grandpa lost frame and slipped into being a true beta and grandma became the alpha. I imagine it happened about the time my grandma's career was advancing to the upper levels and she made more money. I see a lot of men just grow tired of the complaining, unhappy nature of women and throw in the towel for a piece of solitude.

 

[Married Buried]

Who says they didn't want to be there? I wish I could stay in my garage all day without anyone bothering me and drink heavily. I call that heaven. Sure, let her "relegate" me there.

 

[Burroughs]

Our main weakness as men lies within our inability to recognize when and how men are hated, we want so desperately to believe the illusion, we want so desperately to be liked and wanted and needed, that we have lost all sort of instinct for self preservation, to the point where we will literally jump in front of knives and bullets for women we dont even know.

The system is not designed for male contentedness, it doesn't want male happiness, it wants you to constantly feel incomplete, it thrives off of your insecurity , it needs you to question yourself, it needs you to be in constant fear... of being alone of being a virgin, of continuing to have sex after your no longer a version, of being muscular, of not going bald, of this of that of everything.

Because remember you are not allowed a shred of weakness or vulnerability, it stifles the spirit of men it is pesticide on the male soul, society still has no clue, their pumping out these man up articles one right after another arent they?

have we raised a generation of men that dont know how to be men? where have all the good men gone? how come women are outperforming men in this and that?, they simply will not come admit that this is a result of a sustained effort to disenfranchise men, one in which the end result can only be, men turning their backs on a society that will to the bitter end hate on men for doing so.

Becuase you exist to serve, there wont be an equal treatment of male victims of domestic violence, for example no matter how much the inequality of it is pointed out, simply because you as a man have no right in this society to demand equal treatment.

I think the men in the garages have realized...or are realizing what a terrible waste their lives have been...and that their wives are not their allies but their slave-masters.. nagging endlessly while parasitically living off the income of the husband until such time as he is depleted...at which point the woman can cast him aside while continuing to extort money from the man through the police state....the men in the garage realize this...they realize the lies they have been fed through media and church have led them to this...so they drink....to avoid blowing their brains out.

stay strong men.

 

[Down Low]

Anyway I appreciate your posts as much as burrough's one, apparently your borderline grumpy nature makes you able to notice things that others dont or subconsciously ignore...a good contribution in my opinion.

Well thanks for the compliment. At least now I know that dealing for so long with my ex psycho cluster b1tch has given me . . . Borderline Grumpy Disorder.

 

[cordoncordon]

Interesting

 

[speed dawg]

I like to think I have a good wife and a good marriage. But I feel like even still I fight these battles. Sometimes (and usually at the urging of family or friends in the matrix) I get pushback for playing golf, working late, going to the bar, etc. Some of it may be justified because we are raising 2 kids and my wife does most of the work with about half the down time that I take for myself. But, she is a stay at home so it's justified.

But at any rate, I wonder why it is frowned upon like that. Why are men hated? Why are masculine activities frowned upon? I really wonder where it all started. This happened to my grandfather as well, he was banished to his garden. One thing I've continuously noticed is that the man always is the one who gives up the will to fight, which allows the woman to reign supreme. WE'VE GOT TO BE BETTER THAN THAT. Keep up the fight. Humanity will thank us.

However that brings me to another point. If there is seemingly a 'fight', maybe that's the warning signs that you could be losing the frame. I reinforce this in my mind all the time. If I ever feel like my wife and I are in some sort of continuous struggle, I get back to the DJ principles and it all magically goes away.

 

[rothchild]

I think there is a bar called 'the other place''

It is kinda weird our culture teaches us that marriage is the answer to all our problems. But then we get married and it is hell on earth.

 

[samspade]

There are a lot of variables at play with the "man cave" thing. First of all, the garage is where a lot of work gets done for a man. So if he is there on a Saturday afternoon, it's might be because he can't do that kind of work in a living room. If he is indeed working.

If it's drinking/watching the game/shooting pool, it's better to do that in the house in the room of your choosing. People used to have parlors for this kind of thing - pool, darts, a bar, etc. Again, if it is the man's prerogative, it's up to him wherever he wants to air his balls out.

Now if it's a man banished from his own house and piddling around in a garage because his wife is a domineering cvnt, that is another thing altogether.

Finally I will add that for many married couples this kind of thing can be a problem after retirement, especially if the wife stayed home. Suddenly the husband is home with nothing to do. His purpose is gone. She's still doing the housework and sees him as a couch potato. It can lead to a lot of resentment; familiarity breeds contempt after all.

 

[Burroughs]

I think there is a bar called 'the other place''

It is kinda weird our culture teaches us that marriage is the answer to all our problems. But then we get married and it is hell on earth.

Agreed

Married Men need to do a better job communicating this vital fact instead of keeping their mouths shut

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Everyone needs their space don't they? Even your best friend, you want to be sitting by their side 24/7?

 

[LiveFreeX]

You also gotta factor in that guys like building things. I was never into sports or drinking but I love to build stuff with my hands. I found a book once on building gundam's out of cardboard boxes and everyday after work, I would go home and go into my garage and build this 12 ft tall cardboard robot. It was awesome when I finished it, so I built 25 more. Eventually my garage was completely filled with wicked gundam wing stuff, models, papercraft spaceships (bunch from HOMEWORLD) and I moved all my videogames and old toys in there, stuck in a couch and really cleaned it up nice. I would spend all day during my weekends there, show my friends... it was great. I never thought about women once while in there.


Then we had a housefire.


Suffice to say, men need a pvssy-free zone. Girls are fun for some stuff but guys need a place they can go to to feel complete. A club house with the NO GIRLS ALLOWED sign outside. Society wants us to believe that girls can do anything boys can do, and that may be true but they sure as hell don't like it. Girls simply cannot appreciate man activities the way men can.

The sweet sound of an a M141A - Pulse Rifle
The intensity of the battle over Endor
The beauty of the F-14 Tom Cat
Fighting off an invasion with a friend in Gears of War or HALO
Listening to a lound angry beat while pushing the pedal to the metal
The rush of pulling off a wicked break dance routine infront of 100's of people

Women can't possibly understand the testosterone boost we get from guy stuff.

Out here I go over to my friend's houses on the weekends and all of our girls go out and do something together, usually shopping. We sit and play magic cards or video games and later the girls join us for some simple board games. You will here obscenities when guys get together, that's normal... when girls say it, it sounds terrible and stupid. Guys need to be around other guys doing guy stuff. Even Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble had the lodge.

I've decided this year to buy a small, inexpensive house in the boonies, just to put in a sweet parlour. It'll have its own dance studio & dj kit, going to buy old videogames, pinball machines, toy collections and build models. I'm going to line the bookshelves with Dungeons and Dragons, card games and board games. I'm going to buy life size props to put around the house and I'm even going to get the full arcade size machines of AFTERBURNER, GALAXY QUEST (the 360 degree ver) and AREA 51. It will be the ultimate man cave/vacation house. It also helps to have a wife that understands that men need time to themselves. I don't think most guys take the time to explain these things to their wives... I do it once a day.

 

[penkitten]

my husband has a study. it is the one room of the house that i didn't decorate, i don't clean, no one rummages in.
just like a bedroom - it is a place of privacy, so everyone knocks before they go in.
it is a place he can unwind after working or school.
he watches tv, plays xbox, reads, gets on the computer... studies for his master's degree.
it's nice to have a place you can relax.

 

[AlNess]

It's normal and healthy for a married man to seek out a special time and place for himself that he can retreat to and develop/entertain another part of himself that contributes to who/what he is; same goes for a married woman. For me it's my standalone recording and rehearsal studio out in the backyard. My wife hits the malls with her mom and our daughter practically all day every Saturday, so that makes up the bulk of my studio time for the week. We never give each other any crap for our individual pursuits, for neither one of us overdoes it. Unlike the wives/gf's of some of the musicians I've known, mine loves the fact I'm being creative.