FR: A Date Double Header

[nicksaiz65]

I wanted to talk about some dates last week that I procured. These were both Tinder dates, I'm putting the pictures that I got with my professional photoshoot to work.

Date 1

The first one was with a girl named Lina(names censored for privacy.) I messaged her with my standard online sequence. Interestingly enough, she was doing a two year Computer Science program herself. She even randomly asked me for some career tips. We met up at the bar for drinks.

The conversation on the date went well without any awkward pauses. I made sure to tease & kino her on the date. She mentioned that she was an anime fan as well, so I seeded the pull to watch anime back at her place. After the date, we held hands and walked around the park. After that, I was able to progress it into a makeout. I tried to push it towards going to her place, but I got hit with the tired excuse.

I do want to bring attention to two very interesting things that the girl did on the date. First of all, is checking my nails lol. When I went to hold her hand, she actually explicitly checked my nails to see if they were clean. She said, “let me see your nails” and then checked them out. I always knew that clean nails are very important to girls, but I’ve never had a girl straight up do this before. She commented on how my nails were clean, so we are good. The other interesting thing was that she asked me my opinion on Andrew Tate. This is the first time I've gone on a date with a girl with interests like this lol.

I texted her after, and she seemed to respond positively. However, I couldn’t get her schedule to set up a second date. So it’s not happening. She did ask for my social media, as well.

NEXT!!!

Date 2

This date was quite interesting. This was actually with an Asian girl who was originally from Thailand. I messaged her with the standard messaging script, and she seemed pretty receptive.

I met her in a new cafe date spot that I wanted to try out.

The first interesting thing that I wanted to point out is that this girl didn’t own a car, as she moved to the US from Thailand. She actually walked over straight to the spot. I also learned that she was Ubering back and forth from work. She was thick like her pictures, which was good. Love a thicc Asian girl lol.

I made sure to keep the conversation going, and kino her over the course of the date. Unlike some other dates I’ve been on, this girl was very talkative, so this part was easy.

After that, we went to another spot and then got some more drinks.

On this date, she brought up some very interesting topics of conversation. Some of them included how America is a debt obsessed culture, white boys with dreads, just funny things like that.

At one point though, we landing on the topic of cooking Thai food. I was telling her how I very much enjoy cooking but I didn’t really have any experience cooking Thai food. She mentioned that she could show me. In hindsight, I’m realizing that this is where I screwed up big time. I suppose I could have said something to the effect of “Let’s go cook some Thai food right now. Let’s bounce out of this venue” and then gone back to the apartment. In my head, I was thinking like “ok, I’ll just invite her straight to cook on the second date.” I guess I thought this because it was too late or something? Pretty sure I fumbled this one, I think I blew it. I was being too chill when I should've been more aggressive towards isolating her so that I could escalate.

So the date ended after a bit, and that was that. I didn’t even invite myself back because I had the intention of just inviting her straight to cook the next time, and it was getting pretty late. I expected to get the “I have work” excuse like last time, I suppose. And lo and behold, when I contacted her later on, I couldn’t get that second date.

In the future, going forward, I’m wondering if it’s a good idea for me to set a rule of thumb that says: if you don’t close that first date, don’t ever expect to see that girl again. In my personal experience, if I don’t close that first date with a girl, I have a miserable time getting a second. I’d like to see what some of you all think about this.

My wing also says that he has a rule of thumb where he says that he ALWAYS invites the girl in, no matter what is going on, even if he feels the date is going horribly. No matter what.

Regardless of how either of these dates went, it’s good practice. I can learn from these, and get better at running dates in the future. It is good “passive income” getting dates from OLD. I plan to learn from these experiences and then carry them into my future dates.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Work on the screening man. Lina is prissy and I imagined would've showed her hand if you had attempted to engage in sexual flirtation before the date. She should've never been met up with, and as a result, you were hesitant with girl #2.

@SW15 made a post to the extent where it's to be alone that to go on a bad date. Personally I agree. Why spend time and money and consume poison (alcohol) just to have it mess with your game? You gotta work and save anyway per your recent threads.

Bumble Match wants to meetup at the beach this weekend

Exactly^^. Like I said it goes both ways. Are you a damn male or female?

www.sosuave.net

 

[SW15]

Date 1

The conversation on the date went well without any awkward pauses. I made sure to tease & kino her on the date. She mentioned that she was an anime fan as well, so I seeded the pull to watch anime back at her place. After the date, we held hands and walked around the park. After that, I was able to progress it into a makeout. I tried to push it towards going to her place, but I got hit with the tired excuse.

NEXT!!!

You got the makeout, which is good. You pushed for getting to a private enclosed place (her place), which was good. You didn't get it so all you could do is next.

Date 2

I met her in a new cafe date spot that I wanted to try out.

At one point though, we landing on the topic of cooking Thai food. I was telling her how I very much enjoy cooking but I didn’t really have any experience cooking Thai food. She mentioned that she could show me. In hindsight, I’m realizing that this is where I screwed up big time. I suppose I could have said something to the effect of “Let’s go cook some Thai food right now. Let’s bounce out of this venue” and then gone back to the apartment. In my head, I was thinking like “ok, I’ll just invite her straight to cook on the second date.” I guess I thought this because it was too late or something? Pretty sure I fumbled this one, I think I blew it. I was being too chill when I should've been more aggressive towards isolating her so that I could escalate.

Was this cafe a dinner date? Not good. Additionally, if this cafe was a dinner date, that might have made the idea of cooking Thai food at her place a weird idea since you've already eaten a meal together.

If you hadn't had food together, then it would have been appropriate to push towards going to her place.

I’m wondering if it’s a good idea for me to set a rule of thumb that says: if you don’t close that first date, don’t ever expect to see that girl again. In my personal experience, if I don’t close that first date with a girl, I have a miserable time getting a second. I’d like to see what some of you all think about this.

It's worth discussing. For men that are interested in longer term relationships, I don't think pushing for sex on the first date makes sense. If your only goal in life is to get one night stands, then pushing for sex right away makes more sense.

First date sex or same night sex from a bar approach tends to be more awkward. The influence of alcohol and fatigue from a late night can impact the quality of the sex. If you are concerned about sexual quality, you might want to limit alcohol consumption and maybe schedule earlier in the night so you are more alert. The downside to this is that she might not be loose enough for first date or same night sex.

I would lean more towards 'no' on making that a rule.

@SW15 made a post to the extent where it's to be alone that to go on a bad date. Personally I agree. Why spend time and money and consume poison (alcohol) just to have it mess with your game? You gotta work and save anyway per your recent threads.

The general idea is to go on fewer and higher quality dates. This is part of why I deleted swipe apps. I had too many "one date, no sex, no second date" kind of dates from them and @nicksaiz65 is describing "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions. I would rather stay home than go on one of those type of dates.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

First date sex or same night sex from a bar approach tends to be more awkward. The influence of alcohol and fatigue from a late night can impact the quality of the sex. If you are concerned about sexual quality, you might want to limit alcohol consumption and maybe schedule earlier in the night so you are more alert. The downside to this is that she might not be loose enough for first date or same night sex.

I would lean more towards 'no' on making that a rule.

This is a good point, you stand a good chance of being ghosted if you get the ONS and you're tired from the lateness and alcohol to give a memorable performance. Sex is an athletic activity. I prefer the two-date approach myself which is why I emphasize building up attraction and rapport before the first meet.

In your case OP you should still try to pull as it shows you have b@lls and even if you don't seal the deal you can get her comfortable with your place if you bring her back.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Work on the screening man. Lina is prissy and I imagined would've showed her hand if you had attempted to engage in sexual flirtation before the date. She should've never been met up with, and as a result, you were hesitant with girl #2.

@SW15 made a post to the extent where it's to be alone that to go on a bad date. Personally I agree. Why spend time and money and consume poison (alcohol) just to have it mess with your game? You gotta work and save anyway per your recent threads.

Bumble Match wants to meetup at the beach this weekend

Exactly^^. Like I said it goes both ways. Are you a damn male or female?

www.sosuave.net

I’d be interested to know how you screen. I’m starting to agree with you that she should never have been met up with lol. I’ve never seen a girl act like that on a date, ever.

“Hesitant” is a good word to describe how I was acting with girl #2.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

For men that are interested in longer term relationships, I don't think pushing for sex on the first date makes sense. If your only goal in life is to get one night stands, then pushing for sex right away makes more sense.

This is just in your mind and its fueling your ego. The difference in LTR girl and a one night stand girl is your ego, which is wrong. You gotta get the fvck over that any girl may have had one night stand c0cks inside of her, unless virgin and even a virgin could have sucked many ****s or even have done anal.

What is it with all that insecurity? "I don't push for s3x in the first date cause I can think she is a wh0re if she fvcks me, Its not that I'm good looking and my game is on point, its that women who fvcks on the first date are wh0res"

Get the fvck over it, women fvck men, fvck as many women as you can, that way you wanna settle down you don't thin about it and just focus on how she treats you.

 

[Dr.Suave]

You gotta get the fvck over that any girl may have had one night stand c0cks inside of her, unless virgin and even a virgin could have sucked many ****s or even have done anal.

True, true. I like this.

 

[BPH]

I don't think you did anything fundamentally wrong here, but it's hard to REALLY know without seeing HOW you're doing the things you describe on here.

Stuff like your "online sequence". The way you message on Tinder and over the phone will do a lot to set the tone for how the date will go and whether this girl is on the same page with you; if she changes the topic when the messaging starts getting flirty or sexual, probably safe to say she's not the one who's going to go all the way night one, for example. For that same reason, it is a bit more difficult to screen these girls because you have to strike while the iron is hot - if they're on dating apps you can best believe that even the average woman has DOZENS of matches looking to take her out. If you end up spending too much time in the texting phase to "figure her out", you may never get the chance to.

I do think drinks are a fine, and even ideal way to have a first date; inhibitions are lowered, public place, low stress environment, not too expensive, and the fact that you'd usually set this up for the nighttime means that it segues perfectly into a night cap if everything goes well.

I think taking the one chick to the park and holding hands might've been a bit clingy for a first date thing...you mentioned you made out but the fact that she was "tired" either meant that you didn't do a good job, or that she already made her decision and gave you the kiss so you didn't leave empty handed and bitter.

The second one I think you just didn't make enough of an impression...you didn't go for the kiss, you didn't try to move the venue to either of your places, and you were under the expectation that you would just "do these things later" when you see her again. You'll learn, but stuff like this is why I never get excited for things until they actually happen - and that if it's not now, there's no guarantee for later.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The other interesting thing was that she asked me my opinion on Andrew Tate. This is the first time I've gone on a date with a girl with interests like this lol.

So what did you tell her?

 

[nicksaiz65]

You got the makeout, which is good. You pushed for getting to a private enclosed place (her place), which was good. You didn't get it so all you could do is next.

Yes, I do felt that I did all that I could on this date. I'm glad that I'm at least running them properly it seems.

Was this cafe a dinner date? Not good. Additionally, if this cafe was a dinner date, that might have made the idea of cooking Thai food at her place a weird idea since you've already eaten a meal together.

If you hadn't had food together, then it would have been appropriate to push towards going to her place.

This was mistake on my part. The cafe I went to had more of a late night dinner/coffee vibe than I was expecting. To be fair, I had never been there before and this was somewhat of an experiment on my end. In the future, I'm just going to go for drinks dates, because like @BPH says, they are the "ideal" date. If I were under the age of 21, a cafe like this would make a lot of sense. But I'm not, so it doesn't.
We'll say that that is my "rule," always go for the drinks dates because it makes it easier to close.

It's worth discussing. For men that are interested in longer term relationships, I don't think pushing for sex on the first date makes sense. If your only goal in life is to get one night stands, then pushing for sex right away makes more sense.

First date sex or same night sex from a bar approach tends to be more awkward. The influence of alcohol and fatigue from a late night can impact the quality of the sex. If you are concerned about sexual quality, you might want to limit alcohol consumption and maybe schedule earlier in the night so you are more alert. The downside to this is that she might not be loose enough for first date or same night sex.

I would lean more towards 'no' on making that a rule.

At this point, my goal is more leaning towards one night stands. Situationships is a secondary goal.

The general idea is to go on fewer and higher quality dates. This is part of why I deleted swipe apps. I had too many "one date, no sex, no second date" kind of dates from them and @nicksaiz65 is describing "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions. I would rather stay home than go on one of those type of dates.

Right, the first date definitely is one of those. The second date, I made preventable mistakes that made it more difficult on me. I don't view this as a complete waste of my time though. This is giving me valuable knowledge that I can implement on my future dates.

 

[nicksaiz65]

So what did you tell her?

I said that he's very controversial, but he says a lot of stuff that people don't want to hear lol. Like you need to get in the gym, make moere money, etc.

 

[nicksaiz65]

This is a good point, you stand a good chance of being ghosted if you get the ONS and you're tired from the lateness and alcohol to give a memorable performance. Sex is an athletic activity. I prefer the two-date approach myself which is why I emphasize building up attraction and rapport before the first meet.

In your case OP you should still try to pull as it shows you have b@lls and even if you don't seal the deal you can get her comfortable with your place if you bring her back.

Yes, on the next date I go on, I'll ensure that I put myself in a good spot and attempt to pull back.

A couple questions I've thought of after reflecting on these dates some:
1.) I realize that you need to be persistent when going for the pull(@SW15 Roosh has a really good section about this in "Game") but if a girl keeps hitting you with the "I'm tired" is it safe to assume that she isn't interested? Or do you just take it at face value and try to setup a second date from there?
2.) When that second girl brought up the Thai Cooking and that "she could show me" should I have immediately gotten the tab and then said something like "I'm hungry, let's go whip something up before it's too late?" It's very possible that I may have had to stop at a Whole Foods or had ingredients delivered. After that, I suppose I could have escalated as normal.

 

[SW15]

1.) I realize that you need to be persistent when going for the pull(@SW15 Roosh has a really good section about this in "Game") but if a girl keeps hitting you with the "I'm tired" is it safe to assume that she isn't interested? Or do you just take it at face value and try to setup a second date from there?

You have freedom to push a little bit but if she repeatedly hits you with "I'm tired", you have a safe assumption that she isn't interested in sex that night. Offering a 2nd date there is optional.

2.) When that second girl brought up the Thai Cooking and that "she could show me" should I have immediately gotten the tab and then said something like "I'm hungry, let's go whip something up before it's too late?" It's very possible that I may have had to stop at a Whole Foods or had ingredients delivered. After that, I suppose I could have escalated as normal.

That would have been a solid move.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You have freedom to push a little bit but if she repeatedly hits you with "I'm tired", you have a safe assumption that she isn't interested in sex that night. Offering a 2nd date there is optional.



That would have been a solid move.

Great. It's very likely I'll have another date this Sunday. I'll make sure to not make the same mistakes twice.