Feeling more BETA than ever

[rapless]

So I got curious while surfing through Myspace earlier, and decided to see which of my old high school classmates are on there. Using the Myspace high school search feature, I found quite a few people from back in the day. Next month, it'll be 16 years since graduation.

Of course, some of the people I found are now married w/kids, while others are either single or in relationships. Among the people I recognized, two guys in particular whom I knew back then got me thinking about certain things now. I don't know if one of them is either single or in an LTR, but the other one is in a relationship with this hot girl we went to HS with, whom he dated back then, too. He was a drummer in a rock band, and she was one of the rocker/groupie-type chicks. I met him through some mutual rocker friends of ours at the beginning of senior year in 1990, and I always got along with him. This guy always had attitude and a certain "swagger" about him, and it attracted chicks. Despite also being a rock musician, I, on the other hand, was awkward, shy, on the dumpy side, had acne, and knew none of the desirable females. I stuck closest with the rocker friends who were more like me.

I see this guy's profile now, and it felt like high school all over again. His profile has a bunch of pics of him hanging out everywhere with his many friends, his hot girlfriend and her hot female friends, and he still looks badass...in shape, and still radiating lots of attitude and "bad boy" personality. The guy is totally ALPHA. I have nothing bad to say about the guy, for we always got along...but I still felt lame after seeing all that, because it reminded me that I have NO "ATTITUDE." I am still very shy, haven't expanded my tiny circle of friends since high school, I don't go out, and I don't know any women. At 33, my only experiences with females have consisted of two girlfriends I met over the internet and got ONEitis for right away. I met the first one when I was 25, and she took my virginity. Both left me after some time due to my AFC ways. I haven't been on a date or had sex in 4 years, which was with my second girlfriend.

Even though I'm working on getting in shape, I'm afraid of still being my lame, attitudeless self after that. I know they say that being in shape gives you confidence, but is it enough confidence to affect how you act around others in a noticeable way? Like, might I feel comfortable talking to women or even alpha males, and project myself in a powerful way because of the shape I'm in? I guess what I ALSO want to know is: are alphas only BORN and not MADE? I'm afraid of trying to act "alpha" and it coming across as blatantly fake.

 

[joekerr31]

first off the only difference between you and this badass is that he is able to lie to himself.

yep, you got that right. sounds totally nuts, but its the reality.

you see, the whole 'alpha' thing is a crock. you take a girl who is an 8 and surround her by 5's and she'll be totally alpha. but you then drop a 10 in the mix and she crumbles into a pile of self loathing low self esteem. same thing with guys, watch the badass turn in to a sac of quivering jello when the 230 pound ripped muscle man with attitude walks in and stares him down.

95% of so called ALPHAs are this way - its all just an act.

so what's their secret? they bullsh*t themselves and the world aroudn them. they ACT ****y and arrogant and take lots of photos with a bunch of other bullsh*tters so they can build the lie up that their life is one great party.

TRUE alpha has nothing to do with partying hard, how many women you've dated, or how many pictures you have. TRUE alpha is being truly at ease with who you are and your life. a true alpha woman who is a 7 acts the same whether she is surrounded by 2's or 10's. a true alpha male acts the same whether he is surrounded by geeky nerds or mr olympias.

so you can keep thinking that this guy has life figured out, but odds are he doesn't. odds are he's just another playa out there engaging in a endless string of trivial empty conversations with other bullsh*tters.

now that said, that doesnt solve your problem.

im just trying to say that this guy has nothing to do with your problem, neither in recognizing the problem nor in resolving it.

your problem is that you aren't comfortable with who you are yet - you haven't accepted your natural inclinations. you want to be the life of the party like this guy - but guess what - maybe you just arent one of those people!

nothign wrong with that. you can still meet chics being a down to earth guy you know.

i can tell you from my personal experience that just about every woman i've had more than a 2 week relationship with ends up seeing me as marriage material. you know why? not because im the best looking guy. not because im badass or have excessive attitude.

because im smart, mature, kind, and i call them on their sh*t if they throw it out there. I'm quality. the more they get to know me, the more they want to know more about me - not because i'm 'mysterious' but because i have depth.

so work on becoming the man YOU would respect (not envy, but respect!).

then you'll be alpha!

 

[Monster]

Underage poster in the Mature Man forum. Poster is 21 Years old

 

[edger]

i can tell you from my personal experience that just about every woman i've had more than a 2 week relationship with ends up seeing me as marriage material. you know why? not because im the best looking guy. not because im badass or have excessive attitude.

because im smart, mature, kind, and i call them on their sh*t if they throw it out there. I'm quality. the more they get to know me, the more they want to know more about me - not because i'm 'mysterious' but because i have depth.

Ok, hold up a min. Are these women from your personal experience HOT? What percentage were hot and not so hot? Rough estimate. That's the question. Ugly chicks will always go for the down-to-earth, kind guys, because that's all they can get. Most hot chicks on the other hand aren't like that from what's been told. General consensus around here has it that most hot chicks must be gamed fairly heavily to f*ck or keep around. And of course you have the exception to the rule hotties as well who you don't have to game to f*ck.

 

[joekerr31]

hot chics dont operate any different than normal chics.

you take a chic who is a 7 and a guy who is a 5 and they will have the same dynamic as a chic who is a 10 and a guy who is an 8. the only difference with hot chics is that they have inflated egos as a result of being 'the prize'. but a chic who is a 7 with a guy who is a 5 will act the same way.

and then there are just people of all ratings that are just self centered *ssholes.

i dont care how hot a woman is i wouldn't go on a second date with one just because shes hot. so i dont think my experience with women is because they are hot or not, its because i only pursue women beyond the first date if they show a degree of quality.

in fact, the more attractive a woman is the less of a problem i seem to have because they have less insecurities (they still have them, but a 6 for instance tends to be very unsure of herself and behaves stranger than a chic who is an 8)

but i have to re-emphasize, my personal experience in life (not just relationships) is that how attractive someone is, is not an indicate of how good a person they are or their quality. 90% of the people out there are low quality people.

 

[edger]

Jokker, in my personal experience, before becoming more enlightened, I was exactly what you said; smart, mature, kind, and from what I remember, most of the time I would call them on their sh*t if I ever got sh*t from them. But what happened? Well, I got flaked on, not called back, only got asked to hang out at THEIR CONVENIENCE. In other words they basically clung onto me because they were attention wh*res. And the ones who weren't attention wh*res just wouldn't bother with me.

Like I said a few days ago, it comes down to everyone's experiences being different, let your own experience be your teacher. A guy I know at work who's 41 said being kind, mature, and smart has never given him a problem in terms of getting laid and keeping women around. And he's testified to getting hot women this way. Whether those hot women were exceptions to the rule women, I don't know.

 

[joekerr31]

well, maybe ive got something else going on for me that i don't realize. but as far as i can tell the traits i listed are hte ones that they seem to love so much.

 

[rapless]

your problem is that you aren't comfortable with who you are yet - you haven't accepted your natural inclinations.

My natural inclinations are what got me to this site in the first place: being a shy, "nice guy" AFC.

Now that I think about it, I seem to have over-estimated the guy I was talking about earlier. Looking back, I remember him back in high school as being social to a good degree, but he wasn't an all-out, totally outgoing "life of the party" type, either. I recall him being reserved to an extent. However, he also carried himself in a particular way that worked to his advantage.

I still can't help but wonder if putting on muscle and getting one's body into great shape can help how one perceives and carries himself, and if it can result in an elevated level of confidence that can have a positive affect on how he interacts with others. Can anyone here shed some light on this?

 

[joekerr31]

yes working out will do that for you.

i notice that after a work out im much more enjoyable to interact with for a couple of days afterwards. my rapport with women goes way up - even though physically they would notice no difference after one work out, my attitude has a big impact and attracts them more.

 

[STR8UP]

Working out can send your confidence level through the roof. Highly recommend it Now I need to take more of my own advice and get my a$$ into the gym.....

 

[Golden Arms]

Something to make you feel a bit better..

I read in Playboy magazine that 5 million American males between ages of 25 and 55 are virgins. You will never be included in that number

 

[squirrels]

So I got curious while surfing through Myspace earlier,

That's probably why you're feeling "beta" in the first place.

Even though I'm working on getting in shape, I'm afraid of still being my lame, attitudeless self after that. I know they say that being in shape gives you confidence, but is it enough confidence to affect how you act around others in a noticeable way? Like, might I feel comfortable talking to women or even alpha males, and project myself in a powerful way because of the shape I'm in? I guess what I ALSO want to know is: are alphas only BORN and not MADE? I'm afraid of trying to act "alpha" and it coming across as blatantly fake.

So stop acting alpha. BE alpha. Take action.

You want to be more confident talking to women? Go talk to women. You want to be confident in social circles? Join some social circles. Learn what works and what doesn't...and gain alpha status the same way other people do...by KNOWING. From EXPERIENCE.

 

[joekerr31]

Something to make you feel a bit better..

I read in Playboy magazine that 5 million American males between ages of 25 and 55 are virgins. You will never be included in that number

if you want feel better how about this...

- youll never have to stick a tampon in your body to soak up bleeding
- youll have have to bleed the first time you have sex
- youll never have to push a living human being out of you
- youll never have to worry about a yeast infection (hopefully)
- youll never have to worry about a woman beating you up (hopefully)
- youll never have to worry about how you look as you age (because men age gracefully compared to women)
- you'll never have to worry about being embarassed because of a queef after doing it doggy style
- youll never have to worry about sexual harassment in the work force (hopefully)
- youll never have to worry about making less money to do the same job someone else does
- youll never have to worry about how saggy your boobs look (hopefully)


man im damn glad im a man.

 

[6-heads lewis]

Underage poster in the Mature Man forum. Poster is 21 Years old