EXAMPLES OF ****Y + FUNNY

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by indy, Feb 23, 2002.

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  1. trippychip

    trippychip Don Juan

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    Ok so this one i learned from a dude and tried it out, might have been off this website i dunno.

    Me: You know you have the prettiest smile ive seen today
    Her: Thank you
    Me: WAIT! wait, ive seen 4 other pretty smiles today so out of 5 id say your about 3
    Her: What?!
    Me: Oh alright ill move you up to number two cuz of your fiestiness
    Me: Your my silver medal :D
     
  2. DJHoolahoop

    DJHoolahoop Senior Don Juan

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    ok i like some of these examples, good stuff... i'll add my own stuff in and you guys let me know what you think.

    if she says she can cook

    she says: hey, i can cook
    I say: good, then that means you can cook for me next time.
    if she gets all embarrassed or is trying to back out of it i say
    I say: it's alright if all you can cook is a box of macaroni, i personally like kraft dinner. i think it tastes better with ketchup personally.

    if she says: i'm fat
    I say: dammit, i was hoping you wouldn't notice. i've been secretly trying to give you a bigger butt, hope you're not too mad.

    if she says: i like you (or) i love talking to you
    i say: i like myself too (and) yeah it's great to have a friend like you
    if she looks at you like she thought you two were more than that and is disappointed that you said that then i'll normally say: yeah cuz you and i both know that we'd always be wanting to have sex because we couldn't contain ourselves. it'd just be too much.

    if she comments about the clothes i'm wearing
    she says: i really like that belt (or) i really love that shirt!
    I say: yeah I take my time when I dress myself, looks like you do too, but it's too bad you don't take that same effort with your hair.

    that's all i can come up with for now.. i can think of more soon, ttyl all
     
  3. MicCheck1-2

    MicCheck1-2 Don Juan

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    This worked for me seriously.

    Me - Hey girl your eyes are beautiful.

    Her - Thank you.

    Me - No really you got some beautiful eyes. You're eyes always look beautiful when you're staring at me.

    Then she handed off those digits and I split.
     
  4. jbgmedia

    jbgmedia Don Juan

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    Me: Hi Im justin with a G
    Her: Hi.....Where does the G go
    Me: In front of the J what are you stupid
    Her: No...
    Me:Im breaking up with you I like smarter girls
     
  5. LuisGarcia10

    LuisGarcia10 Senior Don Juan

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    Girl- Do you have a pen?

    You- You don't need a pen,

    Girl- what/why etc

    You- You can just type your number straight into my phone
     
  6. catch

    catch Senior Don Juan

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    her;"are you a pick up artist?"

    me"yeah i pick up all the girls,
    not you though, your a bit heavy!!!"
     
  7. donovan

    donovan Don Juan

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    A good one I just thought of the other day is, probably when you've gone on a few dates... (good in a text message)

    you: I think we should stop seeing each other for a while...

    her: whys that?

    you: I've always thought its best to stay away from addictions in whatever form they may be...

    her: you're addicted to me?

    you: I wasn't talking about me ;)


    Variations on this work well... some stupid girls take alittle longer to "get it"
     
  8. Clownpaint

    Clownpaint Don Juan

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    At work:

    (Girl is talking to one of the rabbits JUST as I walk in behind her (very lucky and probably won't happen again)).

    Her: How's my baby doing?
    Me: Well, I'm not doing too great tbh. What about you?

    She turns around and looks at me trying to hold back a smile; I smile and she eventually folds. :)

    ----

    At school:

    (Free period in the commons. Girl is sitting on table. I am sitting sprawled across a seat. The convo had gone a bit stale; we'd been talking for about 20 minutes.)

    Me: You got anything interesting in your bag?
    Her: Tampons
    Me: Well (smiling)...you don't beat around the bush do you? Or, do you?..
    Her: ...
    Me: Do you beat around your bush (sly smile)

    (Her face has that "OMG you didn't just say that" look on it)

    Me: Do you HAVE a bush?

    (I guess I might be pushing the boundaries a bit too much with this one but apparently not...)

    Her: giggles *omg* semi-slaps me playfully on the hand.

    ---

    Some other quips which resulted from this convo.

    1.

    Her: Did you go to those clubs when you were younger?
    Me: Like (club name)?
    Her: Yeah and when you went round tryna get people's numbers
    Me: Well, YOU may have had to try. ;)

    2.

    Her: (banging on about her ex after it turned out he went to my old school (I've just moved))
    Me: Right...when do we get to the interesting bit when you explain why HE dumped YOU?
    Her: Why do you think he...OMG...(smiles)

    ...

    I'm a n00b at this game so these may seem a little low-level to you top DJs out there but they worked well for me.

    P.S.

    I get the train with this girl and her friend (girl) and my mate. At the beginning of the week, she was all over me and laughing at the things I said but on Friday I was kind of annoyed and tired etc. and wasn't my usual effervescent self.

    What stuff could I do on the train and the journeys to and from the train to recover this?
     
  9. el torro

    el torro Don Juan

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    i love this one


    talking to a girl i was just getting to know......

    me: so, what turns you on then?

    her: what!?

    me: you know hobbies and such!? duh

    her: oh! i thought you ment the other way

    me: please, try to behave yourself (with a cheeky grin)
     
  10. organizedconfusion

    organizedconfusion Master Don Juan

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    i am not sure if these are CF but i used them before-

    "awwww, how sweet..you're like an angel...
    you know..ANDROGENOUS"

    "not really feminine , not really masculine
    almost ASEXUAL"


    i say this to those "cute" girls that are really cute but
    like i said , they don't have a masculine, not really a feminine
    style to them.

    while another girl checks herself out in the mirror-

    "you're frumpy. like a tree stump."

    what heck is frumpy?! i don't know but i got the :mad: face
    :crackup:



    i was gaming on a girl at the gym while doing leg lifts
    with her then i busted out..

    "wow,i don't even know ya, and you're
    already on your back with your legs spread in the air"....:mad:
    .:crackup:

    "awww, i like the new outfit... are you TRYING to get laid?"

    when being told my freind got a boob job-

    "did you happen get a "personality" job also?"
     
    beautiful girlLearn a simple little mind game called The Scrambler that has the power to make a girl chase you... even if she wasn't attracted to you to begin with.
  11. JH6

    JH6 Don Juan

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    I dated a girl that lived in the city, she went to school and rented an apt with some roommates off campus.

    A quick funny bit to say is to wait until you get driving, then lock the doors and say jeez i should lock the doors this area is pretty ****ing shady.

    I seen this guy flashing a gang sign..

    Then later i grabbed her ass and told her that she had a ghetto bootie, she was like "haha i doo not"

    During the movie she made a dumb comment, and I asked her if she was sure that she wasn't a blonde.

    THere were a few other ones, but when we got in the truck after the movie, i went in for the kiss, and just gave her a quick peck on the lips then pulled away and said ok thats all for the first date.

    You should have seen the look on her face..

    Then like a minute later I went back in for a real kiss.

    wet panties, done deal.
     
  12. TKE222

    TKE222 New Member

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    Re: new member

    This was from my old username! I just showed back up after a LTR went south.. i couldnt remember my password or username so I started over..


    ahhhhh, the good old days.. I'm back in this stupid game again and havin a good time.. I'll post some more conversations when I have a chance... I have lots of these like this one..

    Cale (glad to be back)
     
  13. JH6

    JH6 Don Juan

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    classic stuff, I like it lots.



     
  14. NoNickname

    NoNickname Don Juan

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    I just came up with one. I just came up with it, so obviously, I haven't tried it.

    You see a girl that you've seen before (like at your school or at work), but never talked to:
    You: Hey, what's your name?
    Her: <<Her name>>.
    You: You're by far the most interesting girl I've seen around
    here, and I want to take you out. Do you have a boyfriend?
    a)
    Her: Yes.
    You: Ahh! Great. Finally someone I could go out and just be friends with!
    b)
    Her: No.
    You: Oh......... I kinda wished you'd have one, because I'd really like to just stay friends with, at least someone, I went out with.

    What do you guys say? Is this a good advice, or am I way off target here?
     
  15. doctor

    doctor Don Juan

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    There's just way too many:

    Here's a recent one:

    This girl was intorduced to me. I acted disinterested and had my bodylanguage showing I was currently paying attention to my friend (a guy) not her (HB 8)

    I acknowledge her and wait for her to initiate the chat. She locks eyes. I hold eye contact and she smiles. I smirk slightly.

    Her: Hi

    Me: Are you single?

    Her*tazer gunned*: Yes

    Me: I'm not surprised. Do you always come on so strong to guys you've just met?

    Her --->Stunned silence for a second, then her mouth drops open and she gets both upset and laughs at the same time.

    Her: Excuse me I'll have you know I've had loads of boyfriends.

    Me: Is that the kind of thing you should be boasting about?.... If you've had loads that just means they fall out with you pretty quickly.

    Her: We are soo not going to be friends (but her expression and eye contact shows she's interested and playing along)

    Me: Is this what happened to all your other relationships?.....You're right, I'm going to have to break up with you. This relationship is clearly not working out.

    I went on busting on her for some time then told them I had to go cause I was busy. At this point she practically threw her phone number at me. I saw her next evening and she came up to ask why I hadn't called her. I told her I was a busy man and that she wasn't the only woman desperately awaiting my calls and that she'd have to just sit by her phone all day and wait. I called two days later.

    Done deal.
     
  16. doctor

    doctor Don Juan

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    she will probibly laugh and bite the line - however she'll either:

    1. Agree and play along

    2. Try and joke that she's not into you or comment your full of yourself etc.

    Regardless of what happens it's good stuff ;)

    If she says number 2. then tell her you're glad she noticed it, or you're glad she likes it, or 'and you love it' or slt.

    if it's number 1. push it a bit farther then bring it up later on when she touches you or something ;)

    If you turn it into a whole routine it'll be gold.
     
  17. Peter89

    Peter89 Don Juan

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    All right, I don't know if this really is C+F, but I'll write them anyway..

    I was in this kinda loooong conversation with a girl I've seen a lot of times before but never talked to, and for some reason we were currently talking about dogs (we both have a dog).

    Me: What race is it?
    Her: I don't really know..
    Me: Describe it then..
    Her: Right, it's really really cute, muscular, not fat, and its size is just about perfect. You know, it's perfect!
    Me: Sounds just like a description of my dog! Or, for that sake, like me..

    The last bold part is what I consider C+F (if it is.. I am a newbie).
    I am Norwegian, so the conversation didn't go exactly like that, but that's the most accurate translation I can come up with.
     
  18. doctor

    doctor Don Juan

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    Yeh Peter that is C'n'F. Very good job for a newbie ;) be proud of yourself.

    It can be made a little more succinct (and therefore witty) by saying:

    "hey hey - listing my qualities will get you nowhere with me. I'm not like the other guys"
     
  19. TKE222

    TKE222 New Member

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    her: have you got any gum?
    me: Did my buddy tell you to ask me that?
    her: no, why??
    me: oh, we were JUST talking about your breath, i thought maybe he snitched on me
    her: what, why does my breath smell bad?
    me: dont know, havent kissed ya.. :)
    her: very smooth, well come here (and goes in for one of those kisses where she sticks her lips out as FAR as ****ing possible -almost like a fake kiss)
    me: Ya right! (putting my first finger up to her lips and pushing her away) I dont kiss girls with bad breath..

    she followed me all night after that..

    later on as a group of guys were all laying their best "youre so beautiful" lines on her, she caught me and said "what do YOU think of my outfit"
    me: turn around
    her: why ?
    me: damn, just do it..
    her : (she turns around) well?
    me: still didn't see anything i liked. turn aruond again
    her: (turning around)
    me: I walked away while she was turning her circle and flauntin her ass..

    she called me a jerk later and then gave her number to my buddy to give to me.

    simple as that..i tore it up.. i always wait til they ask how come i didn't call them.. then i say "oh, ya, i threw it out, it didn't have your name on it and it could have been any NUMBER of different women that gave me their number that night"


    :)
     
  20. bebobbox

    bebobbox Don Juan

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    if you are ignored or somethin when u first start talking to a girl or she isnt talking much say something along the lines of "dont be so intimidated by my good looks"
     

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