EXAMPLES OF ****Y + FUNNY

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by indy, Feb 23, 2002.

  1. indy

    indy Senior Don Juan

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    Now we all know that ****y+funny = wet panties.

    So, the question arises - how do you actually come across as ****y and funny?

    The first most important thing is, do not try to get her panties wet - instead, just decide that you're going to have as much fun RIGHT NOW as you can while you're with the gal - forget the scheming and plotting. Just play with her words, rag on her, bust her on her choice of words, liberal doses of sarcasm and humor so that she's laughing and still a bit nervous (in a GOOD way) about how you'll tease her next.

    Now that you know what frame of mind to approach in, you need some examples. The idea here is to show that you're VERY confident with yourself, are going to make fun of her every chance you get (not annoy - TEASE) and you you're think you're the best thing in the world - but, you're also going to be funny so that she laughs and doesn't get turned off.

    Lets go over some examples:

    A favourite of mine from Take No Dirt:

    You: Tonight is your lucky night
    Her: Oh really? Why is that?
    You: Because you finally got to go out with me
    Her: Sure! <if you said it right, she's going to be smiling by now!>
    You: But no touching - *I* do all the touching!

    This one is field tested - it works magic! Gets her laughing, she might even punch you for it playfully which means she's started the KINO. Thats your cue to take up the KINO one more notch... [​IMG]


    Another example would be while setting up a date:

    Me: Lets go out for coffee and some stimulating conversation... that way if I dont like you at all, I can claim I need to floss my dog's teeth <or some other obvious bullshyt> and leave!

    You can only say these after you have some sort of rapport going though, otherwise it wont have the intended humorous effect and you'll piss her off - which is NOT what you want! The idea is to make her laugh, while being arrogant!

    The point is, don't waste time to start being ****y and funny - if you don't, you come across as boring and get LJBFed. So you say one or two things (positive ones) to warm her up, and before things start stagnating, you start the ****y+funny angle to set the right tone.


    One more example I got from the doubleyourdating mailbag was this one:

    Guy sees chick sitting with two of her friends checking him out. Now we all know that approaching a chick when she's with her c*ckblocking friends is tough... so what does he do?

    He walks over to her, she gets the "What the hell is he doing?" look on her face as he's approaching and then he joins the three girls at their table, and says to the girl "Hi there, I know I'm pretty and that you are attracted to me, but could you maybe hide your impulses?". Of course this was said in a funny way, with a ****y look. Her friends started laughing and said, "she was that obvious , huh?"

    Needless to say it was smooth sailing for him from this point on.

    Just make sure the delivery is light, fun and casual - put her on the spot while making her laugh and she won't be able to resist you! Remember, you're not there to piss her off... you're there to make her laugh, and if you get her laughing at herself... heh, you're home baby.

    What about you guys? Pitch in with some ideas and examples on ****y+funny... it helps everyone's game tremendously!


    [This message has been edited by indy (edited 02-23-2002).]
     
  2. Bonhomme

    Bonhomme Master Don Juan

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    I like that "hide your impulses" one.

    A lot of his stuff strikes me as dorky and stupid (I'm not looking for sub-120 IQ chicks),
    but *that* one *is* funny!

    Gotta use it before it becomes *too* *common*.

    Can't think of any specific examples, though.

    I find that humor's usually *situational*, and I either pick up on it or don't. Not something that can be called up at will.

    ------------------------

    It's better to be a smartass than a dumbass.
     
  3. indy

    indy Senior Don Juan

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    True, delivering canned lines wont cut it with the smart ones, but at the same time - the idea behind this post is to illustrate the mindset you want to have so you can come up with them as the situation/opportunity arises. Not neccesarily these, but something to this effect. You have to tailor it to suit the mood and the woman you're macking with.

    And as for the smart women not going for it... it really depends on the mood and delivery you use. If there's lots of light flirting going on and the mood is upbeat, you can carry it off... if the woman is smart but lacking in the humor department then you'll have to work that much harder.
     
  4. Sun-Tan Superman

    Sun-Tan Superman Senior Don Juan

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    Try this if you see a open seat next to a girl

    "Can I sit here" *yes* "Wait, are you SURE you wont get too horny if I sit next to you??"

    Or for a different situation
    "How does it feel to be out with a handsome bloke like me??"
     
  5. PortugueseMeatball

    PortugueseMeatball Senior Don Juan

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    Tried this one recently; I wasn't at my best at the time, but this is the only one that came to my mind right now.

    I'm talking with two friends (guy and girl) and a girl approaches us. She knows them, but we're not acquainted. The girl proceeds to greet my two friends, cheek-kiss. The b!tch was ignoring me.
    Me: Wha? Don't I get a kiss too?
    She: (puzzled look) I don't know you.
    Me: I'm João. Problem solved. My kiss?
    She: (kisses)

    Not too smooth, but did the work. Didn't follow up because 1) She wasn't that pretty 2) I was in "let's practice DJing" mode.


    [This message has been edited by PortugueseMeatball (edited 02-25-2002).]
     
  6. PortugueseMeatball

    PortugueseMeatball Senior Don Juan

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    Too ****y, too soon? My guess that'll only work if you caught her checking you out, tough.
     
  7. ESPN

    ESPN Master Don Juan

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    Hey nice post,

    its a great idea everyone post ****y-funny examples

    When a girl ask:
    - Do you have a pen?(or any object)
    I usally bust on them and say:
    - To you no!(with a smile)

    If l girl say:
    - Hey l like you
    Just answer
    - I like me too

    If you know how to be ****y-funny you will problably start saying "Are you tring to pick-up on me?" "You really like me", the problem is when the girl say this kind of thing to you, how do you handle this?
    I learned l very good line:
    Girl: I know you like me
    Me: Well, if a girl like YOU became very happy with the possibility of a guy like ME, MAYBE be interestet on you, if you are happy with that, ok stick with that, but l only like you as a friend.

    If a girl call you just say:
    - I knew you will call

    And if she say:
    - When we gonna get out again?
    Just say
    - I knew it, you just cant get away from me.

    If you emailing a girl is good to say the "stimulating conversation thing" then add
    "And you can get to know me better, l know it is everything you want"

    Keep posting guys

    [This message has been edited by ESPN (edited 06-11-2002).]
     
  8. Giovanni Casanova

    Giovanni Casanova Master Don Juan

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    Her: Do you have a pen?
    Me: Yeah, and I'll let you use it to write your number down for me.



    ------------------
    CASANOVA

    "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
    Eric Hoffer

    "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
    Voltaire

    "Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it."
    Francois de La Rochefoucauld
     
  9. Don the Legend

    Don the Legend Master Don Juan

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    Hey Indy,

    I gotta say that your posts keep getting better and better as I am sure so is you DJing. Thanks for posting this. I will have to use this in my DJ arsenal.

    Take Care,

    Legend

    ------------------
    "As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."... Ben Hogan

    "The key to happiness in your life is "Your Life",... Don the Legend
     
  10. derWichtigste

    derWichtigste Don Juan

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    yes, yes... I like those, especially the last one about the pen...

    Where I hang out, there is a DJ chick, always dressed up like she is easy (short short skirt, legs, bressusses being show off, etc.)
    I have always ignored her (talking but not looking). It seems, she found me, and now she comes up and starts talking.
    I am using her as social proof, and also a testing ground.
    She comes over near me and we are talking... buddy comes up, and ignores her. She flips out, and tells him she is annoyed he didnt greet her (In my culture we greet the other person).. In my culture, we dont, he said.
    ..... she comlains about rude guys and I keep pushing her, asking her why, why she thinks this way, etc, etc.
    She is off in tangents like I have never seen, and had to actually pay attention what the current 10 second topic was.
    Then she says, I always thought you where not like the rest of the guys. I said I am not. Do I even hang on you, fawn all over you, stand by you the whole night and wait for a treat that never comes, constantly call you...and look at you up and down like a piece of meat?! Or, do you come over and talk to me? I said.
    she gets this pounting look, and then says I am to pushy..

    I said:
    I do what i want
    say what I want
    and get what i want.
    just like you, in a way. And then I drink my beer.
    Is there sth wrong with that?

    she is at a loss of words. Evid. she has never had I guy say this to her before.
    She goes to say sth, then stops, then again, then stops.
    Some buds come over and I say its time to leave. She wants to come, I said we have to discuss if she can come. One dude knew what I was doing, the other said of course she can, and with me(him)! Duh!
    I said we men here have to discuss this matter, between us, and we will get back to her on the matter. If she behaves herself, and doesnt get in out way with other women, then she can. I said. One bud goes Yea! the other had no idea.
    We go to a new place, and the one dude is smothering her. I am out talking chicks, dancing with them, kinoing them, etc. At the end of the night, I decide to leave. I say by to one bud, then the AFC and then her. I give her my hand, she doesnt give me hers (she was flirting, but not smailing). I said, you can give me your hand to say bye, and I will talk to you the next time we see each other, OR, you dont have to, and then you shouldnt even consider coming over to me again. she slowly gives me her hand.

    I dont think this chick has ever, ever had anyone treat her like this.
    Although I may have said some bad things, I am using her as a testing board. ****y and funny, the test to see how far to go.
    And, if she still comes over, thats social proof pure!
     

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  11. Sun-Tan Superman

    Sun-Tan Superman Senior Don Juan

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    Well it's all about being funny and ****y and saying things with a huge laugh but saying them in a way where the girl knows you are serious in a way [​IMG]

    You: do you like ice-cream
    Her: yea....
    You: on what part of your body??

    Here are a whole bunch off a website, i have found *tryin them myself* that they will work 7.5-8 times out of 10 on girls... there are the odd insecure ones that have had bad experiances maby with guys or maby more serious *rape....harassment....ect* so they're will always be rejections
    But if u keep in mind the other 7-8 girls u get to know using these lines, you have already set the stage of what kind of guy you are and what you want [​IMG] that should be interesting

    "If you buy me a drink, you might get lucky tonight"
    "I can't please every girl but I'll give you a chance tonight"
    "Women are lining up to be with me"
    "It's tough to be such a sex symbol"
    "Aren't you going to get too horny if I sit next to you?"
    "I'm organising an orgy for my friend's birthday. Wanna come?"
    "I like you because you're intelligent (gesture over her breasts). I like myself because I'm intelligent too (gesture over your ****)." (once GM even later got a phone-call where the girl said she wanted to show him her intelligence [​IMG]
    "If you're nice enough I will lick you."
    "How does it feel like to be with (one/two) handsome blokes?"
    "My friend's jealous because mine is bigger."
    "Look, we have to go (to her place) now because I have a date in 2 hours. No we can't go to my place because I have a friend sleeping there."
    "I love myself sooo much I can't leave myself alone."
    "I wish I could split myself in 5 ("me"s) so that I could please all the women."
    "I have to go to the hospital tomorrow" - "What for?" - "To get an operation, (pointing down) mine's too big"
    "Do you know how I can have a 24 cm /11 inch ****?" "???" "When I fold it in half"
    "Are you hands clean?" - "Yeah" - "Ok, could you hold my **** for me while I'm peeing?"

    "You know, that really bothers me, all those girls and guys going after me, and they're only interested because of it, you know, I want to be appreciated for who I am, not for just my HUGE penis."
    "I should'nt talk about that, I don't want you to be incredibly turned on... I don't want you to make a mental picture of a huuuuuuuuuuuuge throoobing tasty penis." (Nathan: "Her eyes were glowing -- you could tell what she had in mind!")
    "It's not possible to be cute without being >picked up ... sometimes I wish I wasn't so cute" (Nathan: "One of the most important aspects of the GM technique is REVERSING ROLES")
    Me: "Do you wake up early in the morning?". Her: "No, not really". Me: "Good, I don't like to be waken up [​IMG]".


    Whenever they don't react positively enough, you say:


    "Hide your joy / pleasure!!"
    "Last time I saw someone as excited as you, she was in a coma!"
    "If you don't like cute guys, just tell me!" (Most of the time the reply will be "no, no, we do like cute guys!". This question reframes their possible dislike of you into a dislike of "cute guys" in general, which however they want to deny, thus being forced to confess, that they actually do like you. Tricky eh? [​IMG]
     
  12. ESPN

    ESPN Master Don Juan

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    Another technique:

    If you kissing a girl, and you want to give a break to breath, but dont want to make it appear weird just stop and say:
    - Dont you get tired?
    She will say something, interrupt her and say
    - Ok, l get it, you never get tired of me
    Them go ahead
    If you want to stop completly just say
    - Ok give me a break, l want my tonge intact for eating.
    or
    - Do you want a piece of my tonge?

    Cmon guys, lets everyone share our ****y-funny goldies.

    [This message has been edited by ESPN (edited 02-26-2002).]
     
  13. JimInDC

    JimInDC New Member

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    These sound too strong to me. Horny is a word that carries negative connotations for most women. Something like this might work better: "Are you SURE you can keep your hands to yourself?"

    If that gets a great reaction, then follow up with "Good, cause I am a good Christian boy, and don't do that with girls I have just met, you know"
    Even if you aren't Christian, that would make the line even funnier.

    JIM
     
  14. jahlivez

    jahlivez Don Juan

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    when you see a girl more than once in a day on campus you can go.

    "I know u got the hots for me but you can't follow me around!"

    or this one which is going outta style
    "are you my stalker or somethin'?"
     
  15. ESPN

    ESPN Master Don Juan

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    This topic is one of the few topics that really interest me, so l will try to keep him alive.

    If you are in a mall and you approach a girl and she says:
    - Why did you approach me?
    - I dont know, you seem to look like a normal girl and if you be nice to me, maybe l let you buy something to me in the Donalds, but you must be nice.


    [This message has been edited by ESPN (edited 02-27-2002).]
     
  16. derWichtigste

    derWichtigste Don Juan

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    I am US, but live in Germany.

    Here, it is normal to sít at a table or sth with strangers.

    What i do, sometimes, is walk up and ask if i can sit/stand here. (Mind you, I speak fleunt german, but I have a "strange" accent i.e. I am different).

    They never say no, and then I say... but only if you behave yourself.

    They usually turn a little red, and laugh. But, they know that i am not from here. That makes them curious and that little behave yourself line allows them to start asking questions. man, they think, this guy is def. different from the others.
    A "normal" German would never, never say ANYTHING like that. he has to be proper and follow the proper rules (laws) of engaging in conversation.

    This has opened alot of interesting situations. Sometimes, the chick ignores the line, but later I find that see "understood" the humor and starts following me around waiting for me to say sth again. Sorry, you missed the shot baby.... It just makes them more and more determined to "make" me say sth they end up coming up and starting the convo.

    Either way, it is fun to see how they react.

    i would recommend this for anyone living in a foreign country who can "make themself understood".
     
  17. indy

    indy Senior Don Juan

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    Thanks Don the Legend, I'm going to add the FINE examples our brethren have posted to my arsenel too!

    Only thing better than a DJ at work is a few dozen DJs at work! [​IMG]

    Giovanni, come on dude - you're one of the wittiest writers I've seen posts from - let loose!

    ------------------
    "That which doesn't kill me only makes me stronger"
     
  18. PIPE-DJ2002

    PIPE-DJ2002 Don Juan

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    this one is really good
    if she says she know how to cook say>s
    she: i know how to cook
    me: great, then you should come over and cook for me sometime. (with a ****y smile)
    (now she will get red) and say
    me: oh Im sorry, i didn't mean to embarrase you. it doesn't matter if you are not that good cooking.

    then say it was nice to meet her, leave
    turn around and ask for her e-mail..
    take out a paper and pen and as she writes her e-mail.. tell her to write down her phone number..
    (this works like a charm)
    then say you are just gonna call her 9 times a day.. (she will laugh). and go
    get the digits and move on
    call her 3 days later and ask her out>>

    me: hey I'm going this restaurant.. and if u would like to come... you can join me. we'll have some stimulating comversation.. and if i don't like you at all.. i will say that i have to brush my dog's teeth and leave.
    (this gives her mixed signal)
    magic..... nice..!!!
    see ya
     
  19. ESPN

    ESPN Master Don Juan

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    Hey Pipe,

    Are you David Deangelo by the way????" [​IMG]
     
  20. Giovanni Casanova

    Giovanni Casanova Master Don Juan

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    Oh, man, you know I can't refuse when someone flatters me like this. Son of a b*tch.

    I'm going to have to post on this later, when I have more time to think of witty things.



    ------------------
    CASANOVA

    "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
    Eric Hoffer

    "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
    Voltaire

    "Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it."
    Francois de La Rochefoucauld
     

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