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Don't let your girlfriend DISRESPECT you or you will LOSE your girlfriend
- Thread starter ELMER_GANTRY
- Start date
Funny this thread appears now. I have been in a constant battle for leadership of my psuedo-relationship. We are not exclusive, although I think she assumes we are. I am not banging anyone else either, however (still stoking certain fires). Seeing each other for 10 weeks or so.
Respect.
Early on she was very respectful. Then little bull**** like this started to happen...sometimes I let **** slide depending on how important i deemed the transgresion.
Made her a sandwich when we were camping out of the back of my truck.
She says, "wow you really dont know how to make a sandwich, do you??
I reply, "next time you can make your own."
Her: "Thank you, the sandwich is delicious." and reiterates this to me later in the day.
Same trip. She was trying to bulldog me in a conversation/debate she was losing. I had her reason and logic cornered and was ready to chop their heads off. She reacts with a borage of condescending rhetoric, at which point I had no choice but to tell her to STFU and let me close my case. She cried among other things, then within ten minutes was telling me how she wanted to fvck me in the chair in which I sat -at the bar. Cray.
Sat, Mid July 3:30am. My roomate, the girl and myself.
Me: Hey, it's late. Let's go to bed. We have church in the morning.
Her:
(immediatly, and *****y) You can go to bed if you want, im not even tired.
Me: Silent. Closing my eyes. Trying to hold back the wrath. I do
My roomate goes and awkwardly gets a beer out of the fridge...
Her: Weeping into her hand. Sobbing quietly.
I dont say anything. Roomate comes back and she composes herself. We had sex the next morning and i asked her why she was crying. She teared up again and said, "thanks for reminding me". Then kissed me. WTF?
Yet she still tests. This last Saturday, I think I did something she didnt like so out of nowhere she has to take a test online at 1030 at night. She says I may just want to go home. This is right after I get to her house across town. So I walk down the street to a bar that known to be live. 7 minutes later, guess who calling cause shes all finished? She asks me whats wrong. I just play it cool and say, "nothing. You good?
. Ok, good"
The next day she has some bull**** drama about her sisters ex bf fuvcking on e of her sisters friends, and she wants to go stick her nose in it. I tell her to wait till I head to that side of town and Ill drop her off. She persists. At this point I comply, but dont say 2 more words to her the entire ride there. I drop her off. She gets out, says thanks, and to hit her up if I'm back down in the area. That was the last time I talked to her. No texts, no calls. No nothin. I've got my finger on the eject button, and I dont even think this girl realizes it. Shes told me of her former relationships, and I dont think shes ever been broken up with. She is classically beautiful, great figure, etc. Whatever.
I'm starting to think PD, but then again the more women I date, it's just par for the course.
Respect.
Early on she was very respectful. Then little bull**** like this started to happen...sometimes I let **** slide depending on how important i deemed the transgresion.
Made her a sandwich when we were camping out of the back of my truck.
She says, "wow you really dont know how to make a sandwich, do you??
I reply, "next time you can make your own."
Her: "Thank you, the sandwich is delicious." and reiterates this to me later in the day.
Same trip. She was trying to bulldog me in a conversation/debate she was losing. I had her reason and logic cornered and was ready to chop their heads off. She reacts with a borage of condescending rhetoric, at which point I had no choice but to tell her to STFU and let me close my case. She cried among other things, then within ten minutes was telling me how she wanted to fvck me in the chair in which I sat -at the bar. Cray.
Sat, Mid July 3:30am. My roomate, the girl and myself.
Me: Hey, it's late. Let's go to bed. We have church in the morning.
Her:
(immediatly, and *****y) You can go to bed if you want, im not even tired.
Me: Silent. Closing my eyes. Trying to hold back the wrath. I do
My roomate goes and awkwardly gets a beer out of the fridge...
Her: Weeping into her hand. Sobbing quietly.
I dont say anything. Roomate comes back and she composes herself. We had sex the next morning and i asked her why she was crying. She teared up again and said, "thanks for reminding me". Then kissed me. WTF?
Yet she still tests. This last Saturday, I think I did something she didnt like so out of nowhere she has to take a test online at 1030 at night. She says I may just want to go home. This is right after I get to her house across town. So I walk down the street to a bar that known to be live. 7 minutes later, guess who calling cause shes all finished? She asks me whats wrong. I just play it cool and say, "nothing. You good?
. Ok, good"The next day she has some bull**** drama about her sisters ex bf fuvcking on e of her sisters friends, and she wants to go stick her nose in it. I tell her to wait till I head to that side of town and Ill drop her off. She persists. At this point I comply, but dont say 2 more words to her the entire ride there. I drop her off. She gets out, says thanks, and to hit her up if I'm back down in the area. That was the last time I talked to her. No texts, no calls. No nothin. I've got my finger on the eject button, and I dont even think this girl realizes it. Shes told me of her former relationships, and I dont think shes ever been broken up with. She is classically beautiful, great figure, etc. Whatever.
I'm starting to think PD, but then again the more women I date, it's just par for the course.
-Gripz-
Don Juan
Great read, Elmer. This is exactly what happened to me. My ex would actually tell me I was "slow", and would call me a "retard" she would also hand with other guys, I was practically a chump. I spent all my money on her trying to win her affection and long story short all of a sudden she didn't want to be with me anymore after she found another guy. Now with the help of this forum, my attitude has changed. I started hitting they gym and found a new passion in bodybuilding (not like those steroid freaks). I will never let that happen to me again.
Buddha_Mind
Master Don Juan
I've got to read-up the entirety of this thread, but I think OP you are onto something and absolutely I can entirely relate. Once I moved back to be near her, sh!t went south ASAP bc she took the reigns then, I tried getting em back, lovey dovey doens't work there--the thing to note is some moves are unfixable.
IE, some situations you HAVE TO LET HER GO.
I have NOT DONE THIS because I cared about her. But it snowballs and in the end I was dumped.
Sometimes, you have to know when to fold the cards.
But I agree with you -- these situations can be prevented by having a base-line for how you expect to be treated--it is up to you whom you wish to give second-chances to...some might deserve them...but ultimately, if she's being a real controlling cvnt and you keep appeasing her...you've got to grab your balls.
I thought she was 'the one' or I couldn't get any better...boy was I wrong...when a woman starts treating you like sh!t you've got to stand up for yourself -- just as if anyone started to treat you like sh!t.
For some women this really does mean NEXT.
IE, some situations you HAVE TO LET HER GO.
I have NOT DONE THIS because I cared about her. But it snowballs and in the end I was dumped.
Sometimes, you have to know when to fold the cards.
But I agree with you -- these situations can be prevented by having a base-line for how you expect to be treated--it is up to you whom you wish to give second-chances to...some might deserve them...but ultimately, if she's being a real controlling cvnt and you keep appeasing her...you've got to grab your balls.
I thought she was 'the one' or I couldn't get any better...boy was I wrong...when a woman starts treating you like sh!t you've got to stand up for yourself -- just as if anyone started to treat you like sh!t.
For some women this really does mean NEXT.
RedScorpion
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2012
- Messages
- 418
- Reaction score
- 217
- Age
- 36
I'm wondering if I'm been acting correctly in similar situations. Long story with this one girl, not seeing each other, no relationship, etc. Sometimes she's really friendly, sometimes a *****.
So. One night her and a couple of her/my friends were getting ready to go out, celebrate her birthday. She gives me a big smile, I give her a half smile. Minute later, her friend was putting on boots and I say "Oh, putting on your hooker boots eh?". Then the girl I like (not the one putting boots on) says "Those aren't hooker boots. They'd have to go up to your knee to be hooker boots, hon.", in a kind of snotty tone. I'm thinking What the hell is your problem, respond, "Ah well then she's putting on her pretend hooker boots". Nothing else said after that.
She's been a ***** on and off. Insulted me, apologized for it way later. Ignored me, suddenly wants to help out on my house. She's a ***** to others as well (like a few days ago, made fun of my friend's best man for his wedding. He's training to be a nurse, failed his qualifying test. A girl asked him advice for a lump, he looked, basic advice was if it gets worse go in and see a doctor. Then the main girl says 'Oh I guess that's why you failed your test'. This coming from a girl that failed her maintainers test and had to redo as well). Lots of side reasons too, such as heavy flirting with my friend who's about to get married, as well as with other committed people at other times. Too much. I'm thinking, there's soooo many red flags and things wrong here. The way I responded is just cut off all contact with her. Didn't wish her happy birthday (which was the day after the party), blocked her off fb a few days later. No texts or whatever. Didn't tell her I was going to, just did it.
There were a few way I was debating before doing so.
- Talk to her about it (nope not in a relationship and what's to talk about)
- Proceed as normal, wish her hb, stay low contact (main option I was thinking, tolerance was getting low though and thinking 'why?')
- And of course saying 'f*ck it, tired of this roller coaster'
I'm hoping cutting off contact is an appropriate response. I'd like to know if my instincts are correct and if I should trust them (or adjust them).
Also, I'm feeling there's a different method for handling things when you're in a relationship with someone, and when you're not.
So. One night her and a couple of her/my friends were getting ready to go out, celebrate her birthday. She gives me a big smile, I give her a half smile. Minute later, her friend was putting on boots and I say "Oh, putting on your hooker boots eh?". Then the girl I like (not the one putting boots on) says "Those aren't hooker boots. They'd have to go up to your knee to be hooker boots, hon.", in a kind of snotty tone. I'm thinking What the hell is your problem, respond, "Ah well then she's putting on her pretend hooker boots". Nothing else said after that.
She's been a ***** on and off. Insulted me, apologized for it way later. Ignored me, suddenly wants to help out on my house. She's a ***** to others as well (like a few days ago, made fun of my friend's best man for his wedding. He's training to be a nurse, failed his qualifying test. A girl asked him advice for a lump, he looked, basic advice was if it gets worse go in and see a doctor. Then the main girl says 'Oh I guess that's why you failed your test'. This coming from a girl that failed her maintainers test and had to redo as well). Lots of side reasons too, such as heavy flirting with my friend who's about to get married, as well as with other committed people at other times. Too much. I'm thinking, there's soooo many red flags and things wrong here. The way I responded is just cut off all contact with her. Didn't wish her happy birthday (which was the day after the party), blocked her off fb a few days later. No texts or whatever. Didn't tell her I was going to, just did it.
There were a few way I was debating before doing so.
- Talk to her about it (nope not in a relationship and what's to talk about)
- Proceed as normal, wish her hb, stay low contact (main option I was thinking, tolerance was getting low though and thinking 'why?')
- And of course saying 'f*ck it, tired of this roller coaster'
I'm hoping cutting off contact is an appropriate response. I'd like to know if my instincts are correct and if I should trust them (or adjust them).
Also, I'm feeling there's a different method for handling things when you're in a relationship with someone, and when you're not.
RedScorpion
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2012
- Messages
- 418
- Reaction score
- 217
- Age
- 36
What the hell lol. Why was she crying? And what's with the bs about the test, says go home, and then a few min later asks "What's wrong"? What's wrong?? What's wrong is that you told me to go home after I drove across town to see you.Handsfull said:I dont say anything. Roomate comes back and she composes herself. We had sex the next morning and i asked her why she was crying. She teared up again and said, "thanks for reminding me". Then kissed me. WTF?
Yet she still tests. This last Saturday, I think I did something she didnt like so out of nowhere she has to take a test online at 1030 at night. She says I may just want to go home. This is right after I get to her house across town. So I walk down the street to a bar that known to be live. 7 minutes later, guess who calling cause shes all finished? She asks me whats wrong. I just play it cool and say, "nothing. You good?
I don't understand what her thought process is.
I think she's wants to break up you subconsciously, but also doesn't want to lose you. Mind you I'm not the most experienced at interpreting. She could be BPD too
pipe 007
rule number 1 of this forum: be the prize (the king) and learn attraction, which means knowing how to give her the feelings where she always wants more of you (chases you). A woman will never attempt to chase you, admire you, respect you, if she doesnt see you as the king in their reality. she can be the queen, or whatever she wants. its ok, she can have power in the relationship as well, but she must NEVER try to take away the power from you, its not natural for a woman to take position as a king in a relationship, if she establishes herself as the PRIZE, and perceives you as beneath her in hierarchy or whatever, socially, emotionally, whatever, if she sees you that you are below her, and she becomes the prize in the relatinoship, then she will feel entitled to demand, to boss you around, to become the leader (because she now is the king, you let her!!, your fault!!) and she will feel entitled to DISRESPECT YOU. because you are beneath!!!!
>nice one pipe 007 u really hit the nail there . I am being careful not to fall into the trap set out by women , would you have any books to recommend? can you private mail me then? cheers bro.
rule number 1 of this forum: be the prize (the king) and learn attraction, which means knowing how to give her the feelings where she always wants more of you (chases you). A woman will never attempt to chase you, admire you, respect you, if she doesnt see you as the king in their reality. she can be the queen, or whatever she wants. its ok, she can have power in the relationship as well, but she must NEVER try to take away the power from you, its not natural for a woman to take position as a king in a relationship, if she establishes herself as the PRIZE, and perceives you as beneath her in hierarchy or whatever, socially, emotionally, whatever, if she sees you that you are below her, and she becomes the prize in the relatinoship, then she will feel entitled to demand, to boss you around, to become the leader (because she now is the king, you let her!!, your fault!!) and she will feel entitled to DISRESPECT YOU. because you are beneath!!!!
>nice one pipe 007 u really hit the nail there . I am being careful not to fall into the trap set out by women , would you have any books to recommend? can you private mail me then? cheers bro.
For small / trivial disses:
1. Be indifferent. Shrug it off saying whatever,,
2. Don't call her out . Unless its an action ie she pushes your hand away. Then mirror
3. Withdraw attention
4. Do not Ask for an apology
5. Don't ask why.
6. Punish her by not giving a ****. Ie if you were supposed to meet her at the airport few days after you were dissed , change your mind and say your busy
For big disses
1. Dump her.
Always be willing to walk .. Thats how you maintain power
1. Be indifferent. Shrug it off saying whatever,,
2. Don't call her out . Unless its an action ie she pushes your hand away. Then mirror
3. Withdraw attention
4. Do not Ask for an apology
5. Don't ask why.
6. Punish her by not giving a ****. Ie if you were supposed to meet her at the airport few days after you were dissed , change your mind and say your busy
For big disses
1. Dump her.
Always be willing to walk .. Thats how you maintain power
j0504s
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2012
- Messages
- 427
- Reaction score
- 23
randomly stumbled upon this it deserves a bump
So do you think I can recover from this??
Hey all,
New user here. Wanted to register and post as I found some very useful and helpful posts on this forum. I was actually sitting and came to a realization that my current girlfriend doesn't respect me anymore. The OP's first post on here hit me hard after I read it. So much that I had to read it a second time. I am just wondering if I can bounce back and make it work or am I totally washed out, and just cut my losses when she dumps me, because it looks like she will dump me first.
My story although is a rather tricky and different situation compared to a normal man/woman relationship, as it revolves around heath issues with my girlfriend. This will be a rather long post and I hope someone will take the time to reply me and give me some advice or PM me.
Ok here it goes .... My gf was born with a condition known as Nephrotic syndrome
Now at the time (1987) and being from a Central European country that was going though a transitional change with the imminent collapse of communism lets just say the doctors weren't the greatest and didn't know much about this and treatment options and just told her parents "she will outgrow this, don't worry". Anyways they left Europe and came to Canada when she was 8 yrs old and the doctors here we're like "Yea ... this should have been treated, somewhat". Well ... too little too late and when she was 12 her kidney's full out shut down and they had to be removed (both of em) and she was given a healthy donor kidney from a child that had just passed and his parents were gracious enough to give the best possible gift ... someone else a chance at life.
I hope I'm not going off on a ramble here, I just really need to vent and speak out. So she lived her new teen life by taking anti-rejection meds and going to places like kidney camp and etc, meeting other kids with the same conditions, etc. etc. In hopes of trying to live a normal life with diet restrictions and all the constant pill popping for the kidney. Heck, she was even in a 6 year relationship with a guy from like 15 yrs old to 21. Then when she hit 19 she started up with the boozing and blazing and parting and clubbing and college and so forth, I guess to "blend in" like all girls that age group. She's now 26.
We met in end of 2011 and at the time didn't think we were gonna date she showed little interest in dating me, even would go as far to say as I don't think we would ever be compatible and blah blah, but she wanted sex on the regular from me, and I wanted to lock her down because being from the same cultural background we got along actually pretty good and i loved the similarities of the customs and values we shared. And she loved to go to parties and bars/clubs with me and drink.
I never knew about her kidney problems or her donor kidney because she hid those things from me, and every time we had sex she would conveniently be wearing a dress (usually a strapless mini) that she would just expose her breasts and hike up the bottom. I know now that this was to hide the two 8" inch scars on her back from where the kidneys were removed. At the time I thought it was some weird fetish thing that she wanted to fuvk me with clothes on ... that's about it.
Well in November of 2012 (we still were not dating yet but spending lots of time frequently) I guess the partying lifestyle and all the alcohol and the neglecting of her health took a toll on the donor kidney as I found out though her mother that she was in the hospital in ICU. Then thats when I found out her true story and life and health history.
Now, I don't know what anyone on this board will think of me (since I am in this thread and posting about this situation) and I'm not trying to gloat or anything but I mean I think it takes somewhat of a man to still want to stay and be with her after finding that out. Any other guy could have been like (yea its just pu$$y and forget this b!tch, i could go find another one without any health problems as serious as this) I could have done the same but I took a week off work, rode it out and visited her almost daily at her 19 day stint at the hospital. Basically she was told she had 3 infections (C. Dif, Urinary Tract and a Sinus infection). Not only that she was told that she killed off her donor kidney and was given a 6 months to 2 years timeframe on the life of it before needing a new one, all depends on how she takes care of herself. Took almost 3 weeks to clear that up and right after she got out she was like thanks for staying with me understanding, I want you to be my bf and fuvked me like a king. I never had a gf screw me the way she did. She just went all out buck wild crazy until I was like yea literally I need a rest. I am exhausted.
So we started dating then (end Nov 2012) got to fully out know her family (she lives at home with parents and 2 sibilings) and things seemed ok, until July 2013. 2013 was a really bad year for us. Everything came in 3.
#1 My mothers house was damaged in a flood. The finished basement had 4 ft of water and everything was destroyed. Insurance took forever to payout (Nov 2013) so no contracting work could be started because everything all ready too cold, frozen, snowy.
#2 I lose my job (Computer/IT) and independence. Rental apartment gone since I cannot afford it anymore no money to fall back on no one is hiring in my field, only walmart is hiring (which I dont think I wanna work there) at my age. So I have to move back into my 'mothers' place to restep my ground. Which in these economic turmoil times I don't think its bad when $hit happens and a person cannot afford to live on their own.
#3 Gf's kidney fails and she has to go on dialysis and wait for a donor kidney to show up. She goes on peritoneal dialysis which is the at-home one, which you hook yourself up to a machine everyday at night for 9 hours so you still have some independence and don't have to go to the hospital every 2 days to get hemo dialysis done. So she looses her daycare job as she cannot work anymore. She gets disability compensation monthly but its not a lot of money. $700 and change. Peanuts. Obviously she lives at home and always been so someone is around in case of an emergency.
So 3 F bombs happen within like 1 week time frame. Ridiculous. I'm working now, but as a temp and getting paid way less then before and can't afford to move out, as I'm considering giving up this line of work and going into a certified trade and make big bucks.
Now lately in the last couple of months (Nov 2013) she has been having problems at home (sometime I wonder if her mother is bi-polar) by one day saying her I'm gonna go get tested and see if I can give you my kidney and another day constant fighting and threatening to throw her out of the house. So when that happens she lashes out at me. I have been fighting back to stand my ground but she won't shut up so I shrug it off and leave. I spend a majority of my free time at her place. Since where I'm staying now (at moms) is a $hithole mess with crap everywhere and displaced and messy.
So now the lashing out has gotten worse because her mother has gotten worse and she keeps on freaking out and threatening to throw her out and my gf is constantly saying she wants to move out lets move out together I should be a supportive bf and when I try to explain to her that right now its not financially possible for me to do that I could lose my job at anytime she uses low blows and calls me 'momma's boy' for living at home. Seriously its like there is no sympathy. This has been just recently too.
So NYE comes and her mom throws a spazz and throws her suit case and some clothes outside in the snow in some apparent crazy fight they had which obviously she won't tell me what its about just avoids the topic and tells me to 'shut up'. I'm like seriously? Its the last day of 2013 your mom pulls a psycho and now your taking out your girl emotions and low blows on me I'm like hell no. Compose your $hit, get dressed we have my friends party to go to.
So we went to the party, I got drunk because I was angry she obviously didn't because your not supposed to have any alcohol while on dialysis, they say its extremely bad and dangerous. So she is mad angry that I'm getting drunk and having a good time and the whole time shes making rude little comments and talking under her nose so I'm like f-her go have fun with my friends, and got super duper belligerent drunk.
Get back to her place again I was belligerent I am not denying this try to go crash ... apparently I was talking smack all wasted and embarrassing her so she wakes me up rudely in the AM saying get your **** and leave we're taking a break I'll call you in a few days ... don't try to contact me. So I'm like your serious? Your gonna act like a $tupid b!tch and not talk to me or anything and kick me out. Basically said I'm sick of your $hit and I need to think about things ... because shes the one having problems at home with the mother and I apparently don't want to move out with her, where in her $tupid head is not processing the fact that this is not financially possible unless someone is gonna give me a place for $300 a month that isin't infested with mice, roaches or bed bugs.
So now this is now I ended up here. I spent almost 1.5 hrs typing out my thoughts and my messed up situation and trying to figure out what to do and can I recover from this. I still feel attraction and love for my gf but I am not sure if her feelings are the same since this 'break $hit' because I've never been on a 'break' before in a relationship in all my life. This is my 3rd serious relationship with a woman.
post too long continued ...
Hey all,
New user here. Wanted to register and post as I found some very useful and helpful posts on this forum. I was actually sitting and came to a realization that my current girlfriend doesn't respect me anymore. The OP's first post on here hit me hard after I read it. So much that I had to read it a second time. I am just wondering if I can bounce back and make it work or am I totally washed out, and just cut my losses when she dumps me, because it looks like she will dump me first.
My story although is a rather tricky and different situation compared to a normal man/woman relationship, as it revolves around heath issues with my girlfriend. This will be a rather long post and I hope someone will take the time to reply me and give me some advice or PM me.
Ok here it goes .... My gf was born with a condition known as Nephrotic syndrome
Now at the time (1987) and being from a Central European country that was going though a transitional change with the imminent collapse of communism lets just say the doctors weren't the greatest and didn't know much about this and treatment options and just told her parents "she will outgrow this, don't worry". Anyways they left Europe and came to Canada when she was 8 yrs old and the doctors here we're like "Yea ... this should have been treated, somewhat". Well ... too little too late and when she was 12 her kidney's full out shut down and they had to be removed (both of em) and she was given a healthy donor kidney from a child that had just passed and his parents were gracious enough to give the best possible gift ... someone else a chance at life.
I hope I'm not going off on a ramble here, I just really need to vent and speak out. So she lived her new teen life by taking anti-rejection meds and going to places like kidney camp and etc, meeting other kids with the same conditions, etc. etc. In hopes of trying to live a normal life with diet restrictions and all the constant pill popping for the kidney. Heck, she was even in a 6 year relationship with a guy from like 15 yrs old to 21. Then when she hit 19 she started up with the boozing and blazing and parting and clubbing and college and so forth, I guess to "blend in" like all girls that age group. She's now 26.
We met in end of 2011 and at the time didn't think we were gonna date she showed little interest in dating me, even would go as far to say as I don't think we would ever be compatible and blah blah, but she wanted sex on the regular from me, and I wanted to lock her down because being from the same cultural background we got along actually pretty good and i loved the similarities of the customs and values we shared. And she loved to go to parties and bars/clubs with me and drink.
I never knew about her kidney problems or her donor kidney because she hid those things from me, and every time we had sex she would conveniently be wearing a dress (usually a strapless mini) that she would just expose her breasts and hike up the bottom. I know now that this was to hide the two 8" inch scars on her back from where the kidneys were removed. At the time I thought it was some weird fetish thing that she wanted to fuvk me with clothes on ... that's about it.
Well in November of 2012 (we still were not dating yet but spending lots of time frequently) I guess the partying lifestyle and all the alcohol and the neglecting of her health took a toll on the donor kidney as I found out though her mother that she was in the hospital in ICU. Then thats when I found out her true story and life and health history.
Now, I don't know what anyone on this board will think of me (since I am in this thread and posting about this situation) and I'm not trying to gloat or anything but I mean I think it takes somewhat of a man to still want to stay and be with her after finding that out. Any other guy could have been like (yea its just pu$$y and forget this b!tch, i could go find another one without any health problems as serious as this) I could have done the same but I took a week off work, rode it out and visited her almost daily at her 19 day stint at the hospital. Basically she was told she had 3 infections (C. Dif, Urinary Tract and a Sinus infection). Not only that she was told that she killed off her donor kidney and was given a 6 months to 2 years timeframe on the life of it before needing a new one, all depends on how she takes care of herself. Took almost 3 weeks to clear that up and right after she got out she was like thanks for staying with me understanding, I want you to be my bf and fuvked me like a king. I never had a gf screw me the way she did. She just went all out buck wild crazy until I was like yea literally I need a rest. I am exhausted.
So we started dating then (end Nov 2012) got to fully out know her family (she lives at home with parents and 2 sibilings) and things seemed ok, until July 2013. 2013 was a really bad year for us. Everything came in 3.
#1 My mothers house was damaged in a flood. The finished basement had 4 ft of water and everything was destroyed. Insurance took forever to payout (Nov 2013) so no contracting work could be started because everything all ready too cold, frozen, snowy.
#2 I lose my job (Computer/IT) and independence. Rental apartment gone since I cannot afford it anymore no money to fall back on no one is hiring in my field, only walmart is hiring (which I dont think I wanna work there) at my age. So I have to move back into my 'mothers' place to restep my ground. Which in these economic turmoil times I don't think its bad when $hit happens and a person cannot afford to live on their own.
#3 Gf's kidney fails and she has to go on dialysis and wait for a donor kidney to show up. She goes on peritoneal dialysis which is the at-home one, which you hook yourself up to a machine everyday at night for 9 hours so you still have some independence and don't have to go to the hospital every 2 days to get hemo dialysis done. So she looses her daycare job as she cannot work anymore. She gets disability compensation monthly but its not a lot of money. $700 and change. Peanuts. Obviously she lives at home and always been so someone is around in case of an emergency.
So 3 F bombs happen within like 1 week time frame. Ridiculous. I'm working now, but as a temp and getting paid way less then before and can't afford to move out, as I'm considering giving up this line of work and going into a certified trade and make big bucks.
Now lately in the last couple of months (Nov 2013) she has been having problems at home (sometime I wonder if her mother is bi-polar) by one day saying her I'm gonna go get tested and see if I can give you my kidney and another day constant fighting and threatening to throw her out of the house. So when that happens she lashes out at me. I have been fighting back to stand my ground but she won't shut up so I shrug it off and leave. I spend a majority of my free time at her place. Since where I'm staying now (at moms) is a $hithole mess with crap everywhere and displaced and messy.
So now the lashing out has gotten worse because her mother has gotten worse and she keeps on freaking out and threatening to throw her out and my gf is constantly saying she wants to move out lets move out together I should be a supportive bf and when I try to explain to her that right now its not financially possible for me to do that I could lose my job at anytime she uses low blows and calls me 'momma's boy' for living at home. Seriously its like there is no sympathy. This has been just recently too.
So NYE comes and her mom throws a spazz and throws her suit case and some clothes outside in the snow in some apparent crazy fight they had which obviously she won't tell me what its about just avoids the topic and tells me to 'shut up'. I'm like seriously? Its the last day of 2013 your mom pulls a psycho and now your taking out your girl emotions and low blows on me I'm like hell no. Compose your $hit, get dressed we have my friends party to go to.
So we went to the party, I got drunk because I was angry she obviously didn't because your not supposed to have any alcohol while on dialysis, they say its extremely bad and dangerous. So she is mad angry that I'm getting drunk and having a good time and the whole time shes making rude little comments and talking under her nose so I'm like f-her go have fun with my friends, and got super duper belligerent drunk.
Get back to her place again I was belligerent I am not denying this try to go crash ... apparently I was talking smack all wasted and embarrassing her so she wakes me up rudely in the AM saying get your **** and leave we're taking a break I'll call you in a few days ... don't try to contact me. So I'm like your serious? Your gonna act like a $tupid b!tch and not talk to me or anything and kick me out. Basically said I'm sick of your $hit and I need to think about things ... because shes the one having problems at home with the mother and I apparently don't want to move out with her, where in her $tupid head is not processing the fact that this is not financially possible unless someone is gonna give me a place for $300 a month that isin't infested with mice, roaches or bed bugs.
So now this is now I ended up here. I spent almost 1.5 hrs typing out my thoughts and my messed up situation and trying to figure out what to do and can I recover from this. I still feel attraction and love for my gf but I am not sure if her feelings are the same since this 'break $hit' because I've never been on a 'break' before in a relationship in all my life. This is my 3rd serious relationship with a woman.
post too long continued ...
continued from previous post ....
I've always been not close with a woman and hard for me to get into ones since my first love passed away from cancer unexpectedly she didn't even know she had. She was diagnosed and 3 months later was gone. So that kind of fuvked me up in my adulthood.
I guess its pretty obvious by this thread that I fall into the 'nice guy' categories of men. I by no means am the rug-ged mainly man that chops lumber and wipes his a$$ with sandpaper. That part of me being the 'nice-guy' type is from my upbringing/growing up. I always used to see my old man get pist wasted and beat up my mom and then me. So I guess from a developmental point of view I didn't or couldn't fight back I was too small and I guess I secluded myself later in life and vowed that I would never hit a chick (open-palm or fist) like my old man did. And my mom was the old school european type that oh he will change I'm gonna stay fool. If it wasn't for the neighbours seeing him choke her out in 2000 (while I was in highschool) and calling the police it probably would have been on-going for god knows how long. Because when I got older the beatings were done behind my back is what was told in court. So yea .... I've got a fvcked up situation and a messed up life.
Just wondering if anyone out there is willing to help me out.
Thanks for your time if you took the time to read this and reply.
Hope 2014 will be better!!!!
I've always been not close with a woman and hard for me to get into ones since my first love passed away from cancer unexpectedly she didn't even know she had. She was diagnosed and 3 months later was gone. So that kind of fuvked me up in my adulthood.
I guess its pretty obvious by this thread that I fall into the 'nice guy' categories of men. I by no means am the rug-ged mainly man that chops lumber and wipes his a$$ with sandpaper. That part of me being the 'nice-guy' type is from my upbringing/growing up. I always used to see my old man get pist wasted and beat up my mom and then me. So I guess from a developmental point of view I didn't or couldn't fight back I was too small and I guess I secluded myself later in life and vowed that I would never hit a chick (open-palm or fist) like my old man did. And my mom was the old school european type that oh he will change I'm gonna stay fool. If it wasn't for the neighbours seeing him choke her out in 2000 (while I was in highschool) and calling the police it probably would have been on-going for god knows how long. Because when I got older the beatings were done behind my back is what was told in court. So yea .... I've got a fvcked up situation and a messed up life.
Just wondering if anyone out there is willing to help me out.
Thanks for your time if you took the time to read this and reply.
Hope 2014 will be better!!!!
ELMER_GANTRY
Don Juan
I've just read some threads on here where girlfriends are disrespecting their man. Seems like the men are allowing these women to get away with it. Not only that, they let these women fight and swear at them, while they just let it go on, and then accept their apology right after. So, your girlfriend sees that you will allow yourself to be verbally abused, that is a clear sign of disrespect. Your value will be lowered in her eyes, so the next time she will make an even bigger issue out of nothing, cussing you out again. Then, if you decide to call her out on it, she won't take you very seriously because you let her get away with it the first time. The relationship will go downhill from there.
@YoTips
Your problems are far too complex for a PUA board, my friend. Sounds like one hell of a mess to me. At the end of the day, the best advice I can give you is need to consider your needs first. If she's becoming more pain than pleasure then it's time to consider moving on not just for you but for her. That might be harsh because of her situation but that's just how it is. You can't look after someone if you can't look after yourself.
Your problems are far too complex for a PUA board, my friend. Sounds like one hell of a mess to me. At the end of the day, the best advice I can give you is need to consider your needs first. If she's becoming more pain than pleasure then it's time to consider moving on not just for you but for her. That might be harsh because of her situation but that's just how it is. You can't look after someone if you can't look after yourself.
SmooveMooves
Master Don Juan
This advice is great but most of it is not from Op
Its from Shark.
Some parts are exactly copied
You could've at least gave credit homie
Its from Shark.
Some parts are exactly copied
You could've at least gave credit homie
SgtSplacker
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2011
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Women have to get checked every once in a while, even if they don't deserve it. So if she actually deserves it you HAVE to check that HO.
ELMER_GANTRY
Don Juan
SmooveMooves said:
Would you like to retract this statement?
You have just made a slanderous statement against me on a public forum and you will be held liable. I will contact my lawyer regarding this statement and for someone named "Shark" infringing on copyrighted material. I take all my writings and work very seriously. Most of my writings have been published and I don't appreciate people using my unpublished works on various sites claiming it as theirs. If you or anybody else continue to slander me, my lawyer will contact you through this site.
This is the attitude you want to have all the time.pipe007 said:
Yeah, this is how it usually happens. Great thread btwELMER_GANTRY said:
Sounds like you went through a lot with that girl. I would be happy just not to be in that relationship anymore. Don't contact her or accept anything from her. Good Luck.YoTips said:
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