Welcome to DJ Bible Study. The first five lessons of Pook's "15 Lessons" They can be read here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59150 Some of you may have seen my previous posts throughout the week in regards to this. Very simply, I'm going to be reading and studying different sections of the DJ Bible and be posting my thoughts about them once a week. This is the first post. This week I have read the first 5 lessons of Pook's "15 Lessons". During the reading(s) I've tried to take an objective stand point. I tried to look at them from the author's (Pook's) point of view, and understand them from his perspective. What did he mean here? Why did this work for him? And, how can they work for me, and if so, how can I implement this. I had originally read the 15 lessons many moons ago, I re-read the first five early last week, and I quickly realized something....I did not remember any of it. So, during the week I've re-read them about three or four times. And, every time I've read through it, I've picked up something else I had missed the previous time around. These are some notes, and my general thoughts on the lessons. Some are more in depth than others, but here they are. Please feel free to comment and/or add your own thoughts and ideas. Thanks Intro: “Foresight teaches gently; error teaches brutally” Not everyone can be a natural. Even if they are, society or outside forces can misguide them. If we all had mentors: fathers/brothers/friends..... that taught us the right path, if were here at all, we would only be here as mentors ourselves. But that is not the case, for virtually anyone. We are here to learn and to teach, to share. All of this in the hopes of bettering ourselves, and bettering others. Unfortunately, a lot of us have learned things the hard way, or rather not learned but been told, in so many ways, at some point that something we were doing wasn't working. On the contrary, if you believe that you have all the answers, and have always had all the answers, then you my friend, are a unicorn. And while I now know you, please introduce me to some of the other unicorns, preferably of the female variety. Some of these "lessons" we've learned have left wounds that haven't healed. Some have, but they've left a scar. Some of us have been taught brutally. And because of this, we are weary of getting burned again. What do some of us do in order to not get burned again? Just stop trying all together. Is that the easiest way to not get burned? For some. Others are here to learn why we got burned, and to understand. We want to put ourselves out there again, but this time in hopes that this time we will be unscathed. Some get hurt more than others, and in different ways. Sometimes the hurt simply comes from confusion and despair. It's one thing to learn from your mistakes, but first, you must be able to recognize those mistakes. If game doesn't teach you how to get the girl, then hopefully, at least, it will teach you how to recognize the signs, how to read them, recognize interest, and maybe just as importantly, recognize dis-interest. I relate the red pill ideology to dancing (ballroom, salsa, tango, whatever) If you want to learn how to dance then you must first learn the steps. You can watch someone dance, you can see the steps, envision yourself doing it, but that doesn't mean you're going to walk out on the dance floor and be asked to be a fill in for Dancing With the Stars (HumbleNinja's favorite show btw). Some may pick it up faster than others, but most need to take time, learn it right, and move at their own pace. Even though you may know the steps, and think you have it down, putting it all together, and actually doing it smoothly and effortlessly is a whole other matter. Practice, but it helps to be practicing the right steps. Lesson 1: “Rejection is better than Regret” Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. How do you view life? As a world with plenty of opportunities? Or, as a world that's closed off to you? It's your choice. Your attitude. What has inaction done for you lately? No pain no gain, in the long run, what is more painful, regret or rejection? How about when you're sitting at home....alone? -cause and effect. Getting stuck in a cycle. Every time you miss an opportunity you get down on yourself a little more. It's a slippery slope. But, no matter how far down that slope you go, turn back, it's never too far. No risk, no reward. The no risk option, is to turn into a nice guy, what girl can refuse flowers, gifts. It's a way of not getting rejected (for the immediate short term) The no risk way, the easy way, then when she does start rejecting you, you start reading her signals wrong, imagining things (see lesson 3). Get out of your comfort zone. Be a man, take action. Rejection is okay, and definitely better than regret. You start making excuses for yourself and why you don't approach: she's probably got a boyfriend, she's just out shopping so she doesn't want to get hit on, she doesn't look like she wants to talk to anyone. You make up those excuses in your head so you won't have to feel rejection or regret. But in the end, the regret is still there. Convincing yourself of lies isn't very easy. Lesson 2: "Friendship-Abondon all hope ye who enter!" I think the main point of this one is: Don't be a b!tch. She's not a friend, she doesn't need to hear about your feelings. Don't confuse her by acting like one of her friends. Act like a man. Lesson 3: "Judge by actions, not by words." Our imaginations justify her excuses. We want her excuses to be valid, so in our minds, we make them valid. We paint the image we WANT to see, not what we actually see. Women tell us what we want to hear because it's easier for them than telling us the truth. Our instincts could guide us here, but often time they are over-ran by our imaginations leaning towards our favor. The main point is that women will no longer be a secret, if only you were to judge them by their actions. My questions on this one: -What happens when you get a girl who plays hard to get? Someone that plays coy. -Or a woman who simply can't make a decision to save her life and just needs the man to take the lead? -What about one who actually has discipline, and has her set of rules?" I feel this is where a lot of the confusion comes in. Guys need to take the lead BUT we also need a girl who lays out her intentions clearly. Yet, we don't want an aggressive woman, we need to be the aggressor.....(See lesson 5) Lesson 4: "Patience is the refined sense of confidence." This one I had the hardest time with. I guess it's the most difficult to understand. As Pook's example, the girls were getting hit on, while the DJ sat back and let the girls get hit on by other guys. Then apparently, the girls were supposed to leave those guys and come to the DJ. I understand this technique, but don't understand why it works sometimes and not others, and exactly when to implement it. Pook didn't go into much detail of why the women would eventually choose the DJ, other than simply implying that they would. I've been on both ends of this one quite a few times, so I know it works. How it works, that's another matter. Vice made this quote a few days ago that reminded me of this lesson. My summation: A guy can hit on a girl BUT, he must not show he is inferior by doing so. He has to come from a stance that he is qualifying her. If she feels he is trying to qualify himself to her, then that's when she will go for the guy that doesn't feel the need to qualify himself. I.E. The confident guy on the side, not needing to make a move. Is this a direct contradiction to Lesson #1? It may seem so. But, I feel the first lesson is talking more about opportunities when they're knocking. Versus this one is talking about, knowing that the opportunity may be there at the moment, but it's not going away, it will still be there. If it does go away then it wasn't meant for you. Be confident and patient, the Iron may be warm, but it can be hotter. In addition: This quote is basically sating the same concept. After reading this it made me think of aura, being in the zone, so confident that you know you've got it. Like how a rock star must feel when he's onstage. He knows at the moment, he's the man. He has to do nothing, and they will come to him. Lesson 5: "Trust the gut." If it feels right, go for it. Be knowledgeable enough to know when a feeling isn't just a want or a hope, but know that sometimes your instincts can be right, so follow them.