DJ Bible Study

Discussion in 'Don Juan Discussion' started by Peaks&Valleys, Jan 28, 2014.

The Natural Book

FREE BOOK OFFER

You can receive a copy of Richard La Ruina's best-selling book for free here:

The Natural - How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want

This book has sold over 120,000 copies worldwide and people love it – 4.5 stars and 280 reviews on Amazon.

So go ahead and grab your free copy.

  1. Peaks&Valleys

    Peaks&Valleys Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2013
    Messages:
    1,722
    Likes Received:
    97
    Location:
    Nowhere and everywhere
    Age:
    37
    Welcome to DJ Bible Study.

    The first five lessons of Pook's "15 Lessons"

    They can be read here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59150

    Some of you may have seen my previous posts throughout the week in regards to this. Very simply, I'm going to be reading and studying different sections of the DJ Bible and be posting my thoughts about them once a week. This is the first post.

    This week I have read the first 5 lessons of Pook's "15 Lessons". During the reading(s) I've tried to take an objective stand point. I tried to look at them from the author's (Pook's) point of view, and understand them from his perspective. What did he mean here? Why did this work for him? And, how can they work for me, and if so, how can I implement this.

    I had originally read the 15 lessons many moons ago, I re-read the first five early last week, and I quickly realized something....I did not remember any of it. So, during the week I've re-read them about three or four times. And, every time I've read through it, I've picked up something else I had missed the previous time around.

    These are some notes, and my general thoughts on the lessons. Some are more in depth than others, but here they are. Please feel free to comment and/or add your own thoughts and ideas.

    Thanks


    Intro: “Foresight teaches gently; error teaches brutally”

    Not everyone can be a natural. Even if they are, society or outside forces can misguide them. If we all had mentors: fathers/brothers/friends..... that taught us the right path, if were here at all, we would only be here as mentors ourselves. But that is not the case, for virtually anyone. We are here to learn and to teach, to share. All of this in the hopes of bettering ourselves, and bettering others. Unfortunately, a lot of us have learned things the hard way, or rather not learned but been told, in so many ways, at some point that something we were doing wasn't working. On the contrary, if you believe that you have all the answers, and have always had all the answers, then you my friend, are a unicorn. And while I now know you, please introduce me to some of the other unicorns, preferably of the female variety.

    Some of these "lessons" we've learned have left wounds that haven't healed. Some have, but they've left a scar. Some of us have been taught brutally. And because of this, we are weary of getting burned again. What do some of us do in order to not get burned again? Just stop trying all together. Is that the easiest way to not get burned? For some. Others are here to learn why we got burned, and to understand. We want to put ourselves out there again, but this time in hopes that this time we will be unscathed.

    Some get hurt more than others, and in different ways. Sometimes the hurt simply comes from confusion and despair. It's one thing to learn from your mistakes, but first, you must be able to recognize those mistakes. If game doesn't teach you how to get the girl, then hopefully, at least, it will teach you how to recognize the signs, how to read them, recognize interest, and maybe just as importantly, recognize dis-interest.

    I relate the red pill ideology to dancing (ballroom, salsa, tango, whatever) If you want to learn how to dance then you must first learn the steps. You can watch someone dance, you can see the steps, envision yourself doing it, but that doesn't mean you're going to walk out on the dance floor and be asked to be a fill in for Dancing With the Stars (HumbleNinja's favorite show btw). Some may pick it up faster than others, but most need to take time, learn it right, and move at their own pace. Even though you may know the steps, and think you have it down, putting it all together, and actually doing it smoothly and effortlessly is a whole other matter. Practice, but it helps to be practicing the right steps.


    Lesson 1: “Rejection is better than Regret”
    Sometimes you are your own worst enemy.
    How do you view life? As a world with plenty of opportunities? Or, as a world that's closed off to you?

    It's your choice. Your attitude.

    What has inaction done for you lately?

    No pain no gain, in the long run, what is more painful, regret or rejection? How about when you're sitting at home....alone?

    -cause and effect.

    Getting stuck in a cycle. Every time you miss an opportunity you get down on yourself a little more. It's a slippery slope. But, no matter how far down that slope you go, turn back, it's never too far.

    No risk, no reward. The no risk option, is to turn into a nice guy, what girl can refuse flowers, gifts. It's a way of not getting rejected (for the immediate short term) The no risk way, the easy way, then when she does start rejecting you, you start reading her signals wrong, imagining things (see lesson 3).

    Get out of your comfort zone. Be a man, take action. Rejection is okay, and definitely better than regret. You start making excuses for yourself and why you don't approach: she's probably got a boyfriend, she's just out shopping so she doesn't want to get hit on, she doesn't look like she wants to talk to anyone. You make up those excuses in your head so you won't have to feel rejection or regret. But in the end, the regret is still there. Convincing yourself of lies isn't very easy.

    Lesson 2: "Friendship-Abondon all hope ye who enter!"
    I think the main point of this one is: Don't be a b!tch.

    She's not a friend, she doesn't need to hear about your feelings. Don't confuse her by acting like one of her friends. Act like a man.

    Lesson 3: "Judge by actions, not by words."
    Our imaginations justify her excuses. We want her excuses to be valid, so in our minds, we make them valid. We paint the image we WANT to see, not what we actually see. Women tell us what we want to hear because it's easier for them than telling us the truth. Our instincts could guide us here, but often time they are over-ran by our imaginations leaning towards our favor.

    The main point is that women will no longer be a secret, if only you were to judge them by their actions.

    My questions on this one:
    -What happens when you get a girl who plays hard to get? Someone that plays coy.
    -Or a woman who simply can't make a decision to save her life and just needs the man to take the lead?
    -What about one who actually has discipline, and has her set of rules?"

    I feel this is where a lot of the confusion comes in. Guys need to take the lead BUT we also need a girl who lays out her intentions clearly. Yet, we don't want an aggressive woman, we need to be the aggressor.....(See lesson 5)

    Lesson 4: "Patience is the refined sense of confidence."
    This one I had the hardest time with. I guess it's the most difficult to understand. As Pook's example, the girls were getting hit on, while the DJ sat back and let the girls get hit on by other guys. Then apparently, the girls were supposed to leave those guys and come to the DJ. I understand this technique, but don't understand why it works sometimes and not others, and exactly when to implement it. Pook didn't go into much detail of why the women would eventually choose the DJ, other than simply implying that they would.

    I've been on both ends of this one quite a few times, so I know it works. How it works, that's another matter.

    Vice made this quote a few days ago that reminded me of this lesson.
    My summation: A guy can hit on a girl BUT, he must not show he is inferior by doing so. He has to come from a stance that he is qualifying her. If she feels he is trying to qualify himself to her, then that's when she will go for the guy that doesn't feel the need to qualify himself. I.E. The confident guy on the side, not needing to make a move.

    Is this a direct contradiction to Lesson #1? It may seem so. But, I feel the first lesson is talking more about opportunities when they're knocking. Versus this one is talking about, knowing that the opportunity may be there at the moment, but it's not going away, it will still be there. If it does go away then it wasn't meant for you. Be confident and patient, the Iron may be warm, but it can be hotter.

    In addition:
    This quote is basically sating the same concept. After reading this it made me think of aura, being in the zone, so confident that you know you've got it. Like how a rock star must feel when he's onstage. He knows at the moment, he's the man. He has to do nothing, and they will come to him.

    Lesson 5: "Trust the gut."
    If it feels right, go for it. Be knowledgeable enough to know when a feeling isn't just a want or a hope, but know that sometimes your instincts can be right, so follow them.
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. jafyk

    jafyk Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    San Diego, California
    Age:
    27
    I just want to say I think it's good you are doing this analysis of what you understand. It will help some of us see things differently.
     
  3. Peaks&Valleys

    Peaks&Valleys Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2013
    Messages:
    1,722
    Likes Received:
    97
    Location:
    Nowhere and everywhere
    Age:
    37
    Thanks man. I know what I wrote is a lot to read, but the more times I read the "passage" :), the more I added on to it.

    It's just my interpretation, writing it down sometimes helps when you're trying to understand something. If it helps anyone else as well, then great. Otherwise, I'm looking forward to the reading for week 2.
     
  4. SeymourCake

    SeymourCake Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    1,491
    Likes Received:
    305
    "Independent inquiry is needed in your search for truth. Not anyone else's view or a mere book" - Bruce Lee
     
  5. Alvafe

    Alvafe Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,440
    Likes Received:
    208
    Age:
    32
    I guess its pertinent to name some qualifying things we as guys and girls do, so we can prevent we doing so and see if wea re guessing right on the girl part, since taht is kinda one of my rpoblems do deal with it, i'm interested to see what you guys can share
     
  6. backbreaker

    backbreaker Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2002
    Messages:
    11,733
    Likes Received:
    486
    Location:
    monrovia, CA
    Age:
    29
    The ones that I think are the most important are 1 and 4.

    The thing is, sometimes you HAVE to learn something the hard way for it to stick. I think a lot of the forum's issues is trying to learn things gently. Try hing to become perfect before you start cold approaching. Trying to find that perfect article that unlocks women for you, but you have to get out there.

    If you look at my post history, my attitude and quality of post did about a 180 around 2006-2007. That was the time I wasn't so much on the forum or online in general and I was out and I was knee deep in cold approaching and spinning plates. I learned more in 6 months of talking to women IRL than I did in 5 years on this forum. There are so many nuances that I've been able to pick up living with my wife about women in general that you can't convey on a forum or online in general.

    One of the things I did when I first got on this forum was go back and point out something that I did wrong and find my fault in every relationship that ended. True, some of the women weren't justified IMHO in treating me th way they treated me, but I found that every one of them I had some level of responsibility. Being TOO available, not spinning plates long enough before I dated the girl, not being aggressive enough about sex, etc. I made sure I didn't make those same mistakes. That's a lot better attitude to take towards women then just to throw the baby out with the bath water



    The older I get, the more I don't agree with lesson 2. Just about every woman I've friended ends up confessing to me that they want me lol. But there is a difference between trying to actually be a friend and trying to be a "friend" who is blatantly trying to sleep with them.



    Lesson 4 is the most important lesson on this entire forum IMHO. Patience. Have the patience to be come a catch. Have the patience to work on yourself. Have the patience to take a break and get your head right. Have patience to set long term goals and work for them.


    I told this story about 6 months ago or so in the MM section but I go to NA meetings about 2 times a week give a take, usually Tuesdays and Sunday nights. There wsa this school intern chick who is getting a degree in drug counseling and she would comie to the meetings and sit in to see what an NA meeting was like. she was pretty cute and every guy in there was all over her.

    Because 1. I'm happily married and 2. that's just not really my style I paid no attention to her. Eventually she introduced herself to me and I was nice and I made small talk with her but then went back about my business. While every other guy is going out of their way to talk to her after the meeting and find reasons to talk to her, I almost went out of my way to NOT talk to her lol. I mean I wasn't a jerk but I don't have **** to talk to you about.

    Then she starts to sit next to me in the meetings. She starts asking me stuff about my personal life, and I talk to her but even then, I don't go into detail. I leave as soon as the meetings are over, etc.

    Then she graduates and I think I will never see her again, not that I care or anything just saying. But then one day out of the blue she just pops up and she's like I wanted to see how you are doing and after the meeting she asks me if I wanted to go grab something to eat/ get some coffee and chat for a minute

    It works becuase if i sat down and looked at the board, let's say I wanted to date this chick. I'm hte best looking guy there. I'm the best dressed guy there. I'm the most successful guy in that setting. What reason do I have to rush anything? I know she's coming back. I know she is going to notice who I am. So if she is at all looking to date anyone, if i have confidence in myself and what i am, the outcome is already determined. she's going to talk to me. I knew what was going to happen the day she started sitting next to me in the groups.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. Peaks&Valleys

    Peaks&Valleys Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2013
    Messages:
    1,722
    Likes Received:
    97
    Location:
    Nowhere and everywhere
    Age:
    37
    I agree for some things, especially with cold approaching. It's like sales in that regard. Walking up to a door, or a potential customer, can be a little nerve racking at the beginning, but once you get doing it, fall on your face a few times, iron out the kinks, pretty soon you realize that it ain't no thing. Pook's example did make sense though. Why learn through three failed marriages?

    I'm late coming to this forum. If I had all this knoweldge in my early 20's....can't imagine.


    That's good, and I've done the same thing. It took me years....and years, to get over the one that got away (highschool). And for the longest time I tried to figure it out. It wasn't until I first read "The Game", to where my eyes were opened. I had been searching, I knew there was something (like Neo), but I didn't know where to look, then what do you know, a book store. Because of this, and things like this forum, I can pinpoint exact times in our relationship where I acted like a complete and utter wuss. I know exactly why she originally fell for me. I know why she told me she loved me when she did (she told me first btw :)). I know why at times, she became distant, I know all of the chances she gave me (to turn back into a man). I know it all. My conclusion:I was the one that made her leave me.

    I think your second line sums it up. Hot chicks usually can tell the difference between the "friends" that are in love with them and the friends that are actual friends, the ones that don't get jealous and couldn't care less if they date other guys.


    I remember that story, and it's a good one, and I think it's a great example of Pook's lesson. :up:
     
  8. backbreaker

    backbreaker Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2002
    Messages:
    11,733
    Likes Received:
    486
    Location:
    monrovia, CA
    Age:
    29
    by the time i met my wife, which was the middle of 2007, the game wasn't even fair lol.

    that's the thing. this forum with the DJ bible plus real world experience, is the equivalent of Inland tiepain venom to women (the deadliest snake venom on earth) if you use all three together.
     
  9. Threepersons

    Threepersons Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    down by the border
    can i join in on this with you guys? goin thru some real **** with my gf now and looking to get myself with the right thinking mind.
     
  10. backbreaker

    backbreaker Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2002
    Messages:
    11,733
    Likes Received:
    486
    Location:
    monrovia, CA
    Age:
    29
    spit it out brother
     
    beautiful girlLearn a simple little mind game called The Scrambler that has the power to make a girl chase you... even if she wasn't attracted to you to begin with.
  11. Peaks&Valleys

    Peaks&Valleys Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2013
    Messages:
    1,722
    Likes Received:
    97
    Location:
    Nowhere and everywhere
    Age:
    37
    maybe his gf got back to him....

    "Judge by actions, not by words.", this isn't applicable to just women.

    Anyways,

    Next week: Lessons 6 through 10 of Pook's "15 Lessons"

    Thanks for contributing BB.
     
  12. zekko

    zekko Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2009
    Messages:
    9,961
    Likes Received:
    1,763
    Age:
    55
    Sorry I'm late.
    I agree with points 1, 3, and 5. Not much else to say about them.

    Yeah, I don't agree with it either. There are situations where you can be friends with girls and the attraction and sexual tension actually builds over time. It can be cooking on the backburner while you are being friendly. Very different from the "hurry up and try to fvck her or else she'll label you a friend" type of thing they teach here.

    I think this friendzone business refers to a certain type of relationship that some girls have with their orbiters. I imagine we've all seen examples of that.

    True.

    Here we differ. I'm an average looking guy, so I'm not usually going to be the best looking guy in the room, even if I might be the most successful. Unfortunately I don't have the looks that will set me apart to the extent that I can sit back and know she will end up with me regardless of what else happens.

    Let's say there are 15 guys in the room. They all hit on the new chick while I sit back. Usually what I think will happen is she's going to be drawn to one of those guys, why wouldn't she? Unless they are all losers, but in Pook's example they are specifically said to be more handsome, more charming, and with more money.

    But they all run to her slobbering when she calls, which is their downfall. I wouldn't do that, but I find that this whole example of there are 15 very rich, very handsome, very charming men that somehow all turn out to be drooling AFCs that repel women to be pure pickup fantasy. Maybe it worked out for you since you were clearly the best guy there (and maybe the fact that the setting is an NA group might be helping you out in that aspect, too). But in Pook's story, the other guys are better in every way.

    It's interesting that in your story, the girl came to you regardless of the fact that you are married. Presumably she jumped over some available men to get to you. I find that in real life, attraction works like that. People are attracted to attractive people, it doesn't matter so much if they are available or not.

    I guess Pook's point is not to act like a drooling dog when they interact with pretty girls. Honestly, I don't know too many guys who would do this anyway. Most guys know enough to at least play it cool a little.
     
  13. backbreaker

    backbreaker Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2002
    Messages:
    11,733
    Likes Received:
    486
    Location:
    monrovia, CA
    Age:
    29
    Not only was i married. SHE was married lol. Even if I were single, and even if I was interested in her, I wouldn't have hit on her. I don't hit on married women. she's been married since she was 18 and she's like 24.


    But what I have found, is that patience when it comes tow omen, only really works like men want it to work, when you are attractive. I can play coy / aloof / be patient because I'm good looking enough to where I know women think I'm handsome/cute. AT the very least most want to feel me out.

    But if you aren't good looking / in shape/ have your **** together it doesn't really matter

    when i see guys complain about not being able to meet women the first thing I say to myself is they need to hit the gym and change their diet.
     
  14. Peaks&Valleys

    Peaks&Valleys Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2013
    Messages:
    1,722
    Likes Received:
    97
    Location:
    Nowhere and everywhere
    Age:
    37
    I realize BB stated he was the best looking guy there. I'm sure in BB's mind he was :D. But maybe that had something to do with it, his confidence, the prize mentality.

    Here's something I've noticed with myself. If I'm trying to "play" it cool, it's actually a tough thing to do. I try this at the gym all the time, but I don't feel I pull it off that well. It's hard not to glance at the hot chick working out on the machine. Chick's notice this $hit, hot ones get glances and "less obvious" attention all day. A guy trying to not give a girl attention can reek almost as bad as a guy actually giving her the attention. I feel they can sense it. I've been able to tell when a girl's been into me but tries to make it not obvious. It's the little things that give her away. Her eyes, mannerisms. The obvious turn of her head the other way when she walks by me.

    It's tougher to act a certain way, than to actually be a certain way. The natural cool confidence is hard thing to pull off, if you're not actually cool and confident.
     
  15. zekko

    zekko Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2009
    Messages:
    9,961
    Likes Received:
    1,763
    Age:
    55
    Actually, BB is one of the guys here that I actually believe when he says he is good looking. It fits his story, fits with the fact that his father is a mack, fits with what other people have told me. He probably was the best looking guy in the room.

    As for confidence, that often goes along with looks. The more women that tell you that you look hot, the more confidence you have. Which (perhaps) makes you more attractive, which makes more women tell you that you're hot, which makes you more confident. It's a feedback loop.

    There's some truth to that. Like when a girl is checking you out, but looks away quickly as she's trying to let you know she's checking you out. But I still think most guys know enough not to drool over a woman like a dog. When I say they "play it cool", I mean they'll talk to her like anyone else, maybe get a vibe going. Not too many guys go up to a woman and telegraph "Omigosh, I'm so AFC over you!".

    Well, obviously I can meet women and I've been working out routinely for 30 years. I'm good looking enough that girls will give me a chance. But rarely will I be the best looking guy in the room, plus now I'm 53. That's okay, I can work with that, but I'm sure it would be nice to experience that from the other side for a change.

    Some people are just better looking than others. You can maximize your potential, but most girls aren't going to magically become better looking than Scarlett Johansson by eating some strawberries and nuts.

    I hate to say this, but a lot of times guys who have trouble with women will post up their pictures here. Usually they get told they look fine, but my reaction is usually "no wonder they have problems with women". I'm sure most of them can do things to improve their looks, but it's doubtful that any of them are going to go from looking like Frankenstein to Brad Pitt.
     
  16. Peaks&Valleys

    Peaks&Valleys Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2013
    Messages:
    1,722
    Likes Received:
    97
    Location:
    Nowhere and everywhere
    Age:
    37
    I believe it as well. BUT, beauty is the eye of the beholder. One woman may think he's the best looking guy in the room, while another may think, "yeah he's cute, but I like that other guy over there with the tattoos and the beard."

    My point is that he truley believed he was the prize. Which therefore gave him confidence, which therefore made him the prize. That's my thinkng on that one...which you explained here:
    But there are other things besides looks that can give a man confidence. Not just money or social status either. Inner well being, strength. Knowing that you can handle $hit. Having a solid foundation, all of which should lead to prize mentality. She may not notice you right away because you're not as good looking, but eventually she'll "bump" into you, where she will get a chance to really see you. I feel this is where patience is key...

    Also, I feel, if you realize it's about more than looks, then that right there will boost your confidence. I feel it's a limiting belief created by growing up and hearing girls talk about about "dreamy" guys. But also, by hollywood and books, the hero's usually some good looking guy. Even in Beauty and the Beast, at the end, the beast turns into a good looking rich dude. haha.
     
  17. zekko

    zekko Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2009
    Messages:
    9,961
    Likes Received:
    1,763
    Age:
    55
    That's fine, but if he wasn't really the prize, his confidence wouldn't have made him one.

    Agreed.

    True, and I do think that it's about more than looks. But nevertheless the girls still talk about the "dreamy" guys.

    The more I think about it, the more I think that Pook's example is utter crap. He was in a room with richer, better looking, more charming men. But not one, but BOTH girls go with him because he's more patient, and confident. While the other guys are left empty handed, even though they have looks, status, AND personality. Not to say patience and confidence are not important, but I call bullsh!t on this one.
     
  18. backbreaker

    backbreaker Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2002
    Messages:
    11,733
    Likes Received:
    486
    Location:
    monrovia, CA
    Age:
    29
    yeah I always thought that was pretty damn cheesy lol.
     

Share This Page