Welcome to DJ Bible Study. Lessons 6 through 10 of Pook's "15 Lessons" They can be read here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59150 Last week's discussion can be read here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212115 During this week's reading I realized something. I am fortunate in a way, I have a $hit ton of experience under my belt....successes and failures, weighted more towards the latter. So, unlike some new guys starting out, this information isn't necessary a road map for me, it's more of an explanation of my previous journey. "This is where you took a wrong turn, this is where you got lucky, this is where you were smooth sailing, and this is where that storm hit and you somehow steered your way out." And of course, by going over my previous journey, my current one should be a little smoother. I'm sure we've all had those "aha" moments while viewing the forums. Something that just hits you square in the face, something that had previously been right out of your grasp. At the beginning, I was getting those aha moments all the time, but the longer I'm on here the "aha" moments seem to be coming less and less, which means I'm learning This is one of the main reasons I wanted to try this Bible Study, something different, dig into what some of these great Don Juans of yore have to say. Try it from their perspective. So....as with a lot of New Years resolutions, I didn't want one of my self improvement resolutions (the reading of the DJ Bible) to fall by the way side, like had happened before. So I set a plan and a goal. And a way to combine the un-fun homework like task of reading the bible with the fun and interesting forums. Plus, this way, I am accountable to others, and not just myself. And also, by actually "studying" the bible vs. just reading it, the information is actually sinking in, and making an impact. This week's "studying" produced an "aha" moment for me, something that I had previously overlooked by simply "reading" it. Now that that's all explained, here are my notes: Lesson 6: “You are the Great Catch.” Pretty self explanatory here, don't put pu$$y on the pedestal. Don't try to win girls. No one respects beggars. You are the prize but that doesn't mean you should stop improving yourself. Don't change for anyone else, change for yourself. Change comes from within. You can be guided by mother or other people your whole life, or you can break free and guide yourself. Don't be ordinary, be a catch. Lesson 7: “Respect is All.” Where there is reverence there is fear. If she has no fear of you having the option to leave, then she cannot respect the relationship. Woman fear the great catch walking away. She should be with you to "celebrate life with you", not to use you. And of course, you need to respect yourself first, or there's no fvcking way she's sticking around, unless of course she's a 4 and you're an 8. But if that's the case, then you're in a $hitty situation anyways.....and should start coming to Bible study pronto. Lesson 8: “Only the Sexual Ones get the girls.” Women respond to sexuality, your sexuality. Embrace it, you are man, you are sexual. It is in our nature. RTLS (relatable true life story): FB of mine, I've talked about her in a few previous threads, texts me on a weekday night, "what are you doing?" This is translation for "I have some free time, do you want to have sex." I was actually planning on going out to have a beer by myself. I had been home all day (work from home) and I just wanted to get out, and some game was on. So I told her I was getting a beer, and said: "why don't you join me." She replies: "how about you text me when you get back home." I think, $hit, all we do is bang, she'll like this, so I say: "C'mon, come get a drink." So she says: "Okay". She meets me, we have a beer, I pay, we have a good convo, a few laughs, I learn some new things about her. As we're leaving, I'm getting this weird vibe from her...she seems to read my thoughts and says: "I'm just going to go home." She said it just like she was saying she was going to the store. But I knew what was happening, I could feel it, but I didn't know why..... She was a chick I had had a ONS with at my place, I had never been to her place. Every time, after that ONS, she had continued to come over to my place, we would fvck, then she would leave. That was it. No pillow talk, no staying over. She just wanted me to fvck her. And, she seemed completely content doing just that. Our roles were defined. She had other guys for the other stuff. By having her come meet me for a beer and, get to know her more, talk about our lives, I threw a wrench in the whole FB dynamic. What I thought was something that could only strengthen the FB relationship, actually brought it to it's demise. She had been coming over 1 to 2 nights a week for a couple months, but after the bar "incident" it all stopped....just like that. The late night booty texts from her, the random calls when she was getting off work....gone. I did manage to rekindle it a few months later, somewhat, but it hasn't been the same since. It's a FB relationship that's now tied together with bubble gum and band-aids. I finally ended up going NC with her, and she's been responding well to it So we'll see. Side note on this one: Why don't I just spin plates? Well, I try, BUT this one.....strong HB8....and fvcks like a pornstar. In and out. Why wouldn't I try to keep that going? ^^^So this story here combined with this lesson, were the inspirations for this thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212292 After I figured out how I crashed and burned that good thing I had going, I started looking at past FB relationships. And they all seemed to be the same type of method or formula, even the ones that would later say they wanted something more. It was cut and dry, everything was virtually about sex, no real games, no fvcking around, just fvcking. And the chicks were all happy!!! Sometimes she would try to change the dynamic, sometimes I would, but always, when that happened.....it just ended all together. All of this^^^I'm sure has been said in one way or anther in these threads. With a few of these guys, this is basically their mindset. And this is basically how they end up treating most of their relationships with women. I, however, didn't grasp this concept fully for whatever reason. I think it's because I like being in LTR's, or having plates to do stuff with, other than fvcking. I like going to the beach with chicks, having BBQ's, going out for drinks, watching movies and $hit with them. So, when I get a quality FB(HB8 and up) I seem to fvck things up when I try to turn an already purely sexual relationship into something more than it is. And half the time I thought I was doing the chick a favor, and doing what she wanted , you know, quality fvck buddy time. I kind of understood what was going on, why it was going south, but not fully, it was one of those concepts that had been floating around, just waiting to be fully realized. So, I'm summing it all up with this: Be a sexual man, and you will attract sexual women. And if you do this, just don't fvck it up. Lesson 9: "Be not contained by formula." This one speaks for itself. I've had different successes for different reasons. Sometimes generalizations are just that, generalizations. And they can be perceived in many ways. Even my "forumla" for FB's is just a formula, let it guide you if you wish, but if you can improve on it or do some variation, what works for you, then go for it. But if you get lost or confused, then use it to fall back on. These rules and laws are training wheels. Some of them are basic, these are the ones with the most variations. Some of them are advanced, should be followed more strictly. They will help get you going, but to really fly, eventually you're going to need to ditch the training wheels. Actor (scripted) vs. Actual (natural) Lesson 10: “As you think, you shall become.” Does confidence make you successful? Or does success make you confident. There's been quite a few threads recently discussing confidence, including last week's Bible Study. It seems Pook was a strong advocate of it. But, the whole dilema with confidence is how do you obtain it. Where's that perfect formula? Can you be confident even though you're a 40 year old virgin? If you're confident at your job does some of that confidence spill over to your dealings with women? Must you bang a chick to be confident? Or do you need to be confident to bang a chick? What came first the chick-en or the egg? (the egg being confidence of course, did you see what I did there?) Some things in life are out of your control, you absolutely can not see them coming. It is what it is. That's life, $hit happens.....understand this. Some things, however, you can control, some things you can see coming. Control those things. Including yourself, but to be able to control yourself you must know yourself first. So..... "Know thyself."