DJ Bible Study, Lessons 11 through 15 of Pook's "15 Lessons"

Discussion in 'Don Juan Discussion' started by Peaks&Valleys, Feb 12, 2014.

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  1. Peaks&Valleys

    Peaks&Valleys Master Don Juan

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    Welcome to DJ Bible Study

    Lesson's 11 through 12 of Pook's "15 Lessons"

    They can be read here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59150


    There seemed to be a different feel in these last five lessons. Maybe simply because last week, I felt like a big mystery that was hanging over my head had been solved. This week, it seemed as though it was more of a re-cap of the first ten lessons, with a few little pointers thrown in here and there. Maybe Pook did that on purpose, not put too much in your head at the end, let you cool off, get your $hit together, then send you off on your DJ journey. Otherwise, maybe someone else got more out of it than I did, if so, hopefully they'll share. That being said, a few more dots did get connected, and it was still well worth the reading and the studying. :up:

    Here they are:


    Lesson 11: “Getting a girl is not the success.”

    You don't need to force it, wait until you know it's ready, if now is the time, then go for it, if not....let it marinate. If it doesn't feel right, then, it's okay to hold off.

    Don't let outside forces effect the relationship: parents, friends (couples), religion. These may all want you to settle down and get married or get a girlfriend, it's all outside pressure that can sway your decision, push you into something that you're not ready for, even the girl, herself, pressuring you....

    Make sure it feels right to you.

    I didn't get much out of this lesson that I already felt I knew, simply because I've stood my ground when it comes to other people effecting who I date or where the relationship is going. I've never been married, and I've been okay with that, even with those outside foces trying to convince me otherwise. But I've had quite a few LTR's. For the most part, I believe they've been faithful, a few of them have been rocky roads, but with LTR's, I seem to be able to hold my frame. I had my first serious LTR in High School, and, fortunately or unfortunately, she ended up owning my a$$. Since then, at first, I totally wrote LTR's off and went out and sowed some oats, which worked out okay, since I was young, and just didn't really give a fvck. It may have been detrimental in the long run for me though, simply because I was damaged, and had a distorted view. Eventually I opened up a bit, matured, and because of my earlier not giving a fvck, then rationalized that I had been over doing it. This, in turn, caused me to re-think everything, overcompensate my previous actions, and eventually work my way over to the blue pill side. If you can follow that.....But when it came to LTR's, I never forgot that first brutal lesson I learned. Because of that 1st LTR, every LTR I've had since, has been one where I've had either had the upper hand or a very strong frame going into the relationship. I never forgot. I've been with some crazies since them, may have given up frame from time to time, or at the end, lose a little dignity, but I've, for the most part, held my own, and came out better than before. Still though, at times, I would wonder where it went wrong and why, even though I was doing the breaking up, "who's fault was it? She acted fvcking nutso....but was it because I did something?" "should I have done this?" "should I have tried to listen more?" "Would she have acted differently." Holding your frame is one thing, but understanding the dynamics of the relationship, and why she did or is doing the things that she does, is another. As she's walking out of my place spewing daggeras at me because I woudn't bend, it would make me wonder: Why the fvck is this happening?

    Some guys on here like to write it off, she's a chick, she's crazy, who cares, or better yet...Next! Me though, I like to understand it. As I've said many times before "know they enemy." -Sun Tzu. Then, just because I understand why she's doing something, it doesn't mean I'm going to nod my head in agreement with her and say it's okay. It simply means I know a better way to deal with it, maybe see it coming ahead of time. That way I can put out the spark before it turns into a 5 Alarm, full city block, raging inferno. And also, I can figure out if what I'm seeing is an actual red flag, or just some harmless chick crap that I can ignore.


    Lesson 12: “Unite Dream and Day.”

    This was a long one, and a little confusing. I feel he basically he is saying, learn, change yourself for the better, but don't change your innerself, or who you truly are. You can pretend to be something you're not, and it may work, but in the long run you will not be happy. Be true to yourself, and work on yourself, not a false persona. Unite the dream (women of plenty) with the day (real life, who you are).


    Lesson 13: “Charm is treating women like little girls.”

    Charm - the smirk, the inner confidence, calmness, being on top. It's not all about tricks and lines. The comfortable feeling, knowing, at the moment, that you have it....with no fvcks given.

    When I saw this title, it reminded me of David D's line: "treat women like your bratty little sister." Then Pook mentions C&F. I believe Pook may have borrowed this from David D, or the other way around. Maybe they knew each other. I don't know. David D, was instrumental to me in breaking out of my shell, getting slapped in the face. And, like many others, I learned of him through the book "The Game". It was just a small part in my journey though, not everything was perfect, but it was a step in the right direction.

    To sum up Pook's message in this one:
    Have fun with women, don't give a $hit, treat it like you're back on the playground. Girls don't want to be bogged down with boring crap from your daily accounting job, keep that stuff to yourself. Live life, enjoy it, if you're enjoying it, they'll want to come along for the ride.


    Lesson 14: "Always have a back-up chick!"

    This one is talking about one of the big mantras on SoSuave: "spin plates!" This lesson broke it down another level. Other than having another chick to bang, and less worries if one of them starts actin a fool, what's the effect of spinning plates? How does it effect you physiologically.

    It's directly related to a false love. How is this created?

    Our brains are natured to pair off with a woman. If we date only one, no matter how we originally felt about her, we are putting ourselves in a position to only think of her, and eventually look to take the relationship to the next level.

    I notice some guys on here seem to always focus on one chick at a time, then, low and behold, they're getting one-itus, and then making three seperate threads about them, asking for advice. "Spin plates." is a common answer. And it's a good one.

    Pook brings up an example of pictures on a wall, and if there's only one girl on that wall, then all of your focus will be on her.

    I don't know where Pook got this information from, was it all from personal experience? Was he a great thinker that was able to break down every single experience with a woman? Then somehow wrap it up in all of these nice little packages? As I stated in the above lesson, I'm guessing he's added experience from others, or possibly brainstormed with other alike thinkers. Possibly that, as well as some type of professional work, in the field of psychology or sociology? Either way, to me, what he talks about makes sense. I haven't really read anything yet that I can just say: "that's Bull $hit!". There's a few things I've questioned in the readings, but through a little "discussion", I'm not swayed that what he is saying is incorrect.


    Lesson 15: “The greatest risk you can take in life is not to risk it all!”

    It is the risk, the fight, the means that define you. No risk, no reward. No pain, no gain. There's plenty of arm chair QB's, KJ's in life, it is what it is. Live your life, do not be afraid to throw it out there. There's plenty of guys that play it safe....along with plenty of miserable guys. Just keep fighting. Don't give up, and try to enjoy the ride.


    In conclusion of the 15 Lessons:
    Like I mentioned before, I took on this whole DJ Bible Study to try a different avenue. Learning new things off of recent threads with varying pieces of advice has become monotonous and almost to a stand still. As with almost everything I do, if I'm going to learn something, I'm goint to want to know everything about it, break it down piece by piece, why does this to this, which does that? It's hard for me to take a one liner then go out with blind faith and apply it to my daily life. On that same note, if I don't understand the roots of that one-liner, and it fails me, then I don't want to find myself up $hit creek without a paddle. I'd rather build my inner game, my inner confidence ;), then hopefully that outer game will come more naturally.

    These lessons have been exactly what I hoped they'd be, and what I needed. I've had a few "aha" moments, and one great epiphany that I'm still reeling off of. It's been a while since I've felt this sure of myself in my dealings with women (seriously), three weeks of reading, studying, and breaking this stuff down. My foundation is stronger, yet, there's still a lot more out there to learn...

    ....Rome wasn't built in a day, but we're getting closer :up:
     
  2. Dgwizdal

    Dgwizdal Master Don Juan

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    Your analysis and experience from lesson 11 resonates me well. It's tough to juggle holding your frame and not giving in when you know that your not always right or should cut some slack. It's all about finding that right balance to be able to admit when you're wrong without backsliding. Looking back on some relationships that have ended - there are different ways I could've went about things to diffuse situations in a more mutual understand than just writing chicks off. I am by no means a blue piller but sometimes there are better ways to communicate than a "take it or leave it attitude."

    That being said - although you may be able to control and set the stage for relationship dynamics, there will be times that sh*t happens no matter what you do.
     
  3. Peaks&Valleys

    Peaks&Valleys Master Don Juan

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    You're right about that, nothing you can do......it's just time to cut the chord.


    Other times, $hit's happening, you're like this chick is fvcking nuts....later!

    But then, later on, when the music starts playing: "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone...." And she's trying to contact you. Your ir-rational brain starts making excuses for her....and then you start second guessing yourself.....

    Knowing that you made the right decision will put your mind at ease, and let you move on gracefully.



    EDIT: corrected song lyrics, should of had that one right. Listen here to a song off of P&V's AFC indulged playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2014
  4. Dgwizdal

    Dgwizdal Master Don Juan

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    Haha the rare phenomenon of the male hamster spin when nostalgia and rose colored glasses kick in. Funny that this was mentioned - since taking the red pill about a 2 years ago - I've only had one LTR that I alpha framed to death and then ended. Spun plates on the side the whole time and continued to give no f*cks thereafter banging her friends and other sloots.

    She on the other hand has not moved on w anyone else and barely goes out to even attempt to meet anyone. I'm not even sure if she's gotten dinked.

    Here we are 6 months later after nc and she is starting to tap on my door - she was a great girl; maybe I was too harsh on her and should've validated her beyond FB plate status while she hung pictures of us in her room or....









    Nah :up: :crackup:
     
  5. backbreaker

    backbreaker Master Don Juan

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    in for later
     

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