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Daily Journal for Cold Approaches

Discussion in 'Don Juan Discussion' started by jwhite17, Jul 28, 2003.

  1. jwhite17

    jwhite17 Senior Don Juan

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    Hello all!
    I have been taking a break from this site for some time now. I wanted figure this stuff out for my self with first hand experience not from someone else I read on this board. I decided I would make a change the day I came back to Colorado to go to CU-Boulder. I arrived in Colorado with a new outlook: I could be whoever I wanted to be because it was my choice not anyone else’s.

    I always had a huge fear of approaching women, and I assume most people have this fear to because we are programmed to think that approaching strangers is wrong. I wanted to achieve my goal of being able to approach any girl, any time, anywhere, have fun doing it, approach 40 chicks before summer session ends(August 8), and if I find a quality chick possibly have an LTR. So, I figured that I will be living in the dorms for the summer and I will be on campus most of the time. I should start doing cold approaches because this is where I would see most of the girls I would want to date, kiss, and have sex with.

    I have learned a lot over the past month by approaching chicks cold. Every girl I have approached has been friendly, none have laughed in my face, and no one in the background really cares if you pick up a girl. These are some of the fears I had before I started to approach cold, and so far none have come true. I have noticed my comfort level goes up every time a approach a girl to, it just gets easier and easier, like saying hi to strangers, at first it is awkward because you never do it, then it becomes second nature to you. Same thing with approaching, yes, I still have a tick here and there, but if the chick is alone, she is toast!

    Here are some posts that really inspired me to break out of my shell:

    Walden’s journey through MOTU’s bootcamp, the progression of Walden can be seen with each post he makes, thanks Walden for sharing you experience:
    http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30105

    2ndTour’s Rejection Collection post really shows you persistence always pays off in the end:
    http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16725

    Photo 1’s post on a Are you a Guy who just can’t approach really changes your outlook:
    http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20096

    and countless others like SexPDX, Stuart Scott, Vassago, Umbra, icepick, Survivor, The Edge, Pro, wheelin&dealin, Mr. Mystery, Pecker and YOU reading this have all helped me believe that it is possible to be who you want to be.

    I’m nowhere near where I want to be, but each day I get a little closer to my goal. I wrote this post, so I could inspire one person to go out there I risk rejection because they will learn more from that than ten Don Jon tips of the day. I will continue to update this everyday, and I hope other people will add there experiences also because I believe we can learn a lot from each other.

    BTW, I asked every girl I’m interested in if she is single because I don’t want to mess around with a chick’s boyfriend, it is too much for me to handle.

    First 23 Cold Approaches and Counting:

    Approach 1 on June 30, 2003
    I saw a HB9 brunette working as a hostess when I ate lunch at this Mexican restaurant. I asked if she was single, and she gave me an ambiguous answer like she had a boyfriend, but she wanted my number. I told her "No, I asked you first"(thanks sosuave) and she still wouldn't hand it over, but she told me to come back at the end of the summer. I tell you guys how this one turns out later; she did seem to have a high IL but had a boyfriend at the time.

    Approach 2 on July 1, 2003
    I saw a cute chick working at the hot dog stand, so, I knew, that she prefers the meat. I approached her, short convo, asked for number, got it. I called her a few days later to set up a date, and she told me she call me back. I’m still waiting for that call. Next!!!


    Approach 3 on July 2, 2003
    I was walking around the campus to get a feel for the school because I was starting in a week. I saw a girl that appeared to have a awesome body from a distance, and I was already asking where a certain building was before I realized she wasn’t that hot. She seemed interested because she asked my a bunch of questions, I could have gone for her number but I chose not to.

    No approaches between July 3 and July 7 because I had my mom’s wedding to get ready for and attend and school was starting soon also and I was lazy.

    Approach 4 on July 8, 2003
    The first day of summer session, I was eating some eggs when I saw this HB8 slender brunette walk past, so I stopped her and had a short convo, and then went for the number, she gave it to me and I called her two days later. I got her voice mail, and I left a message telling her I like to meet her for some coffee sometime and she should call me back. She never did. Bring on the next chick!

    Approach 5 on July 9, 2003
    I saw a HB9 laying down outside my dorm. I immediately approached her without any hesitation. I was with a couple of guys, and we had an interesting conversation with her.
    Subsequently, a couple of days later she comes into my room to talk. At first she seemed a bit nervous around, then after awhile she opened up. A week later; she spends the night, which I don’t have any problems with. She is definitely a quality chick who could be LTR material, but I still want to see what else is out there.


    Approach 6 on July 10, 2003
    I was walking to class on the sidewalk when I saw HB9 Blonde chick walking the other direction towards me. So, I decided to take action and I didn’t have much time because my class was soon. I asked if she was single, she said yes, then I told her “I got to go, but I really would like to meet you, what’s your number,” and she gave me her number. I called two days later and set up a coffee date the next week and she accepted. I’m about to go on a third date with her the end of this week. Also, I did this whole number close in about thirty seconds, so it is possible to get a future meeting with a HB without establishing rapport.

    Approach 7 on July 11, 2003
    I saw another hot chick walking toward me from another dorm. I stopped her, had a convo, and found out she was not single, and decided to bail.

    Approach 8 on July 11, 2003
    Then I saw another chick and I got her number she was seventeen. I couldn’t tell how old she was, but since I’m trying to go for college girls, I never called her and an interesting thing happen after that.

    Approach 9 on July 11, 2003
    After that I approached a chick on the stairs, she said she wasn’t single, but she wanted to know why I approached her? I decided to leave because I want to find hot single women no boyfriend attachments for me.

    Approach 10 on July 13, 2003
    I saw a cute chick at Safeway. I had a little convo with her then I asked if she was single. She said no. She said sorry as if she wanted to go out with me if she was single.

    Approach 11 on July 13, 2003
    I saw a woman standing on the ledge of a building with her bike. I said, “So what are you doing, taking a break?” And she seemed very friendly and interested because I had the balls to approach her. She didn’t look that old from a distance, but she was like 35 years old. We had a ten minute conversation, but I didn’t number close because I want a girl around my age.

    Girls approaching me 1 on July 13, 2003
    Three or Four of Kate’s friends approach me and wanted to find out what I was like. Then I gave them my number to call me(just to see if they would), and to my surprise they did, but I refused to go out with them because I don’t want to date 17 year old girls because I’m out of that high school scene.

    Approach 12 on July 14, 2003
    I saw a cute blond in the top floor of the bookstore. She did look over at me a couple of times, but I had to wait awhile to approach with all these people around. I’m glad that I did approach because she wasn’t single but seemed very interested in me because I did take that risk and she responding as if she was wanting me to approach. We had a short little fluff talk about what major, where are you from, etc. I left with my confidence boasted.

    Approach 13 on July 16, 2003
    I saw a cute brown hair girl that I decided to approach on the street. She was very direct and friendly, but I didn’t have success because she had a boyfriend or she was taken or had a husband or maybe she was a lesbian.

    Approach 14 on July 17, 2003
    I saw another cute brown hair girl in the library, so I decided to ask her if she was single(I didn’t want a conversation because people were studying). She responded with a silent “no” and I left. My confidence just keeps on improving with each approach I make.

    Approach 15 on July 17, 2003
    I saw a cute blonde chick working in the gym. She seemed very friendly and interested because she said she had a boyfriend in a depressing way after our convo.
     
  2. jwhite17

    jwhite17 Senior Don Juan

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    continued. . . . . .

    Approach 16 on July 17, 2003
    I saw a chick I normally saw walking near our campus. She gave me her room number; she seemed kind of interested. She lives in Bracket ___. Have any of you college guys ask for the number and got the room number???? I decided not follow up because I see her all the time now, and I don’t think she is worth my time because she would have given me her phone number if she was interested.

    Approach 17 on July 18, 2003
    I saw a blonde chick that just worked out. I got her number, and she said I was very forward, and I responded, I know! She gave me her number and we’ll see what happens. I called her, and I got the answer machine. I gave her the whole thing I said to the other chick, and big surprise she never called me back. Next chick please!

    Approach 18 on July 19, 2003
    I saw a chick near my dorm and I immediately introduced myself. She was about an 7, and I didn’t number close because she lived in my dorm.

    Approach 19 on July 21, 2003
    I saw an extremely hot blond walking with her parents for orientation. I walked directly up to her and said excuse me, introduced my self, and found out she had a boyfriend. The look on her parent’s faces was priceless; I wish I had a camera to take a picture of that.

    Girls approaching me 2 on July 22, 2003
    Some girls I was walking past started to say “hi, how are you.” So, I basically fluffed talked with them, none of them really got my attention so I ended the convo and walked away.

    Girls approaching me 3 on July 23, 2003
    These girls started a conversation as I walked past them. They were a little too young, but I still had a short conversation with them for practice and for fun because I like meeting new people.

    Approach 20 on July 24, 2003
    I saw a chick lying down on the cement, so I started a conversation with her and she seemed very friendly but she didn’t have that great of face so I didn’t go for the number. Her body was superb, but the face knocked her down a few points and I didn’t want her anymore.

    Approach 21 on July 24, 2003
    I walk behind a chick I would give an 8. She was single, but she wasn’t coming to CU-Boulder until a month later, she lived in Boulder, she did seem interested, but she didn’t accept my offer and she apologized. Next time I should say something like, “well, give me your number now, and I’ll call you in a month, you won’t forgot about this sexy stranger.”

    Approach 22 on July 27, 2003
    I saw a cute blond chick working the register at the Rec Center. So, I walked up to her and asked if she was single, and she wasn’t, I turned around, she stopped me and asked for my name. She and I had a interesting conversation, and she even told me if I will come back tomorrow at the same time.

    Approach 23 on July 28, 2003
    I saw another cute blond hair girl walking by the bookstore, so I decided to approach. She was single, and I had an excellent conversation with her, too bad she is just visiting because I think she would have said yes if she was going to CU.

    I will continue to add to this daily until I reach my goal.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2003
  3. jwhite17

    jwhite17 Senior Don Juan

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    Approach 24 on July 29
    I didn’t see any HB’s today by themselves without their cell phones glued to their ears. As I was walking to the gym, I saw a HB8 walking in another direction, so I didn’t want to miss this opportunity. I approached her and asked if she was single, and she wasn’t. She did say sorry, but she didn’t really want a convo with me and I bailed. Approaching random girls gets easier each time people, and you probably never see them again so you have nothing to fear.
     
  4. MagicDonJuan

    MagicDonJuan Don Juan

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    I dont think you should have nexted this girl so soon. I think a room number may be better then a phone number becuase with a phone number she can just not return you calls if she not interested, but giving the room number shows high il, and that she wants you to come over some time. :) Then again, I'm just learning so what do I know.

    It seems like most of the girls you talk to are interested. I think that is becuase you're being so forward with you intentions by asking if their single as soon as you meet them. It shows confidence, and I think they are seeing that, I might have to try it some time. Could you tell me how you start each approach? EC, smile, hi, are you single? These journals really are as inspirational as post can get to inspiring djs
     
  5. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    So J, how exactly (ie could you give us a transcript) do you ask if they're single so soon? and what sortsa reactions are you getting?

    I'd do well to introduce something like that to my number close...
     
  6. Miles Davis

    Miles Davis Senior Don Juan

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    Very Inspiring!

    Keep it up
     
  7. Tano

    Tano Don Juan

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    Why do you ask these girls if they are single?
    Most chicks will tell you blantantly or with bodylanguage if they are taken. Why count yourself out even when these girls arnt single? If you dont try to get the chicks with bf's then your loosing out on a lot of sex.

    Chicks will hang around in a relationship until someone better comes along, they are like monkeys in that they wont let go of the first branch until they got a hold of the next. A good percentage of these women dont even like their boyfriend so its hunting season for you.

    Game on!!!!
     
  8. Pimp-sicle

    Pimp-sicle Master Don Juan

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    I agree with Tano, I think its a HUGE mistake to do cold approaches and ask if they're single. That's giving the girl an escape route before you've had a chance to DJ her or establish rapport. Secondly when you number close, make the girl offer her number, don't ask for it. Example:

    Me: Hi, I noticed you and wanted to meet you.
    Her: Hi, that's very thoughtful
    Fluff talk for 20-30 seconds
    Me: You know (girl's name) you seem like a lot of fun, we should hang out some time."
    Her: Yeah, let me give you my number


    The power of this approach is amazing. I've used that EXACT line to # close every single girl I've approached over the last year. Something about her offering her number, makes her subconciously realize she might/does have a high level of interest in you.

    When you blantantly ask are you single, why don't you give me your phone #. The girl knows you have all the interest and its not a challenge for them anymore. Try this line on your last 10-12 cold approaches. You should go 10/10 on # closes if your approach is correct. Don't forget tonality and presence, very important traits to have. Good job though, that's a whole lot of girls to approach.
     
  9. jwhite17

    jwhite17 Senior Don Juan

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    Hey guys, I'm bored and I can't sleep!, so I figured I might as well answer some questions.

    MagicDonJuan,
    You could be right about that girl having a high interest level, but I think she politely rejected me advances by giving me her room number after I asked for her PHONE NUMBER blantantly. Also, have you ever seen that Seinfield with the girl that looks scary when the light is not shined on her? That is what is it like with this chick, she looks hot sometimes, and other times she looks weird. I figured I could have hotter chicks and I didn't want to waste my time with her.

    I usually just walk up to them without worrying about EC, smiling, or the right body language from her to approach, I don't give a shyt about doing the right thing, it is too much to think about, I'm just going after a girl that I want. Read approach 19, I had to practically sprint after her, and I doubt she saw me until I started to talk. Here a question for you: Do all girls give out signs to guys they are attracted to? Maybe they do, but it is hard to tell on campus or the street when she is walking toward you. Here's what I usually say, and I got it from David D:

    Me: "Can I ask you a quick question?"
    HB: "Yea"
    Me: "Are you single?"----In a "I'm curious" tone of voice

    - If yes then I continue the conversation and eventually number close with a 100 percent success rate if the girl lives in Boulder(except the girl who gave me her room number).

    - If no then I end the conversation right then and there.

    Walden,
    I immediately find out if they are single when I first talk to them. I don't want girls with boyfriends because that would mean they would cheat and that is not what I'm looking for. I want a girl that is single because it would be less to deal with and I wouldn't have to worry about a borefriend.

    I have gotten some interesting responses(like the first girl I approached, she had a boyfriend but she seemed interested, I keep you guys updated when I go back), but the majority of the time I get a direct yes or no, and only one girl said to me she, "I have a boyfriend", I find that interesting, maybe they would be willing to cheat. And most of the girls who say "no," do it in a tone of voice as if they would want to go out with me if they were single.

    Miles Davis,
    Thanks for the support, I appreciate it:) .

    Tano,
    Well, again, I don't want a girl that cheats on her boyfriend. I'm looking for a quality chick, not some slut who will sleep with any guy. I agree that I'm probably missing out on a lot of sex, but I don't want to be fukking a ***** then have her boyfriend come in their and try to start shyt. I don't want to waste my time with those chicks, only single ones for me, less to worry about, and I have plenty to chose from up here.

    Also, how do you tell by looking the body language of women if they are taken? I don't give a shyt about that because I want to get as much experience as possible, and I'm having a lot of fun doing it too. If I see a chick that I think is hot, I approach her whether or not she gives me signals.

    Pimp-scle,
    Thanks for the tip man, I should definitely try it sometime. The thing is, read above to find why I ask if they are single, I have been 100 percent success number closing if the girl is single and lives in Boulder(except the chick that gave me her room number:confused: ). Another thing, I do establish rapport after I find out if they are single if I have the time.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2003
  10. Nicholas Hill

    Nicholas Hill Master Don Juan

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    I like this one. What a perfect example of action rather than of inaction.

    Keep this thread updated, my man. It's in the Bible.
     
  11. numlock

    numlock Don Juan

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    Throughout this experience, what have you found to be the most effective way of asking for the phone number?
     
  12. jwhite17

    jwhite17 Senior Don Juan

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    Nick,
    Thanks for the praise, I will definitely keep this journal going:D .

    numlock,
    I believe you don't need any special way of asking for the number, some people on here believe you should not give them the option of saying no by telling her, "Give me your number" instead of "What's you number?" I have I used both, but I like the second one better because it seems more natural to me rather than the first. I suggest you try both and see which one you like better.
     
  13. jwhite17

    jwhite17 Senior Don Juan

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    Approach 25 on July 30, 2003
    I just woke about at 8:30, and I was walking to breakfast from my dorm at 8:45, and this cute light brown hair girl(about a 7.5) was about to pass. Of course I stopped her because I had to take that chance. I had a nice little conversation with her, but I cut it short because I was really hungry. She was single and handed over her number after I asked.

    Approach 26 on July 30, 2003
    I was walking back to my dorm for lunch when I saw HB8 standing by the bus stop by herself, so I asked my question. She said, “I have a boyfriend, but thanks for asking.” I appreciate her honesty, and I probably made her day by approaching her. The day is still young, let’s see how many more girls I can approach.
    Later,
    JW
     
  14. StuartScott x 2

    StuartScott x 2 Senior Don Juan

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    J you're doing a great job, keep up the good work. As for asking if they're single, I like it and see nothing wrong with it. You've gotten 7 numbers so far so it must be working. It's also a great segueway (sp) before asking for the number. I also like asking them if they go out much/what they like to do with their free time before getting the number. Don't worry about building rapport when you first meet them (although it helps A LOT), with cold approaches just get the number and you can build rapport over the phone on your first phone call. Keep it up.
     
  15. Microphone Fiend

    Microphone Fiend Master Don Juan

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    nice work keep up the good work...
    I absolutely LOVED your links at the top, those posts are really inspiring and I've never seen them before! Thanks a lot
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2003
  16. dionysius_d

    dionysius_d Senior Don Juan

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    I admire your style jwhite.. inspiring and interesting.

    I especially like your insistence on them being single.. and how you do not compromise on quality..

    There are plenty of single women, and I see no attraction in someone who needs to gain more attention from a maximum number of guys.. what a recipe for heart ache. I too can do without such a person.

    Yeah you might miss out on a bang or two, but its quality, not quantity.
     
  17. Knicknack

    Knicknack Master Don Juan

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    very great journal. keep up the good work. very inspiring.
     
  18. chlywly

    chlywly Master Don Juan

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    Good man :) all I can say. Keep it up.
     
  19. jwhite17

    jwhite17 Senior Don Juan

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    Thanks for the support, I'm having a lot of fun doing this, I just wish there was more hot chicks to approach. I can't wait to fall when all the females return:) .

    Approach 27 on July 31, 2003
    I didn’t see much today, but as I was leaving the art building I noticed a cute blonde in her work out clothes passing by. I didn’t even think about the approach, I just did it immediately, forget the three second rule, this was less than one second. I asked if she was single, and I got a yes. So, I got her number, but she did ask me if I was doing this for a project. I never got a response like this, so I’m curious, do you guys think you can be too confident when you approach? I guess it is better to be confident than have nervous ticks, but it seems I don’t feel afraid anymore to approach a random girl on the street like I did when I first started.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2003
  20. Knicknack

    Knicknack Master Don Juan

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    HAHAHAHA. i think you are being a little too confident and forgetting the suave part.
     

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