It’s been a while: The following is a refresher course. Ten years ago, I dated a Japanese girl. One night, she invited me over to her house for dinner, and as I sat down at the dinner table, her father glared at me. I apparently did not remove my shoes before sitting, thus abrogating Japanese custom. But, how am I, American born and conditioned, expected to understand Japanese custom, without an overt explanation as to the “house” rules? Similarly, in a social environment predominated by AFCs, how are women supposed to understand the rules of social engagement? Women--who have been socially conditioned/trained to exhibit poor behavior--are rewarded, notwithstanding their egregious conduct. Accordingly … a DJ must utilize the cardinal gun in his arsenal: Boundary Implementation. Without boundaries, women will act as they are conditioned. At the forefront of any relation, a DJ must overtly disclose the “rules” of engagement. A high IL partner will defer to your boundaries. Should your partner violate a boundary, one of two dynamics are manifesting: (1) She has lower IL, which is your cue to walk away from the relation; (2) She is testing and probing to see of what type of substance you are made. If the latter, a DJ must overtly state “When we met, I had explained to you what is and is not acceptable. You have done X. Such behavior is not acceptable.” Her ensuing response should be your prescription of action. If she does not defer to your holding her accountable, you must walk away. Counterclaims Boundary implementation is unsoundly controlling another's behavior. You are incidentally controlling her behavior by directly controlling your behavior in response to hers. Where there is despotic control such as in a dictatorship, there is a paucity of choice. She has a choice not to comply, just as you have a choice to walk away. You both have choices; thus unhealthy, despotic type of control is not prevalent in such a course. Boundary implementation is a euphemism for “ultimatums,” and ultimatums are declarations rendered out of weakness. Ultimatums are generally spoken once one’s tolerance to unacceptable behavior has been exhausted. Disparately here, boundary implementation is initiated before any capital offenses occur. Should unwarranted behavior ensue, an ultimatum is not necessary, as she has already been forewarned. Walking away, then, is the prescription. Women are adults, and shouldn’t have to be “told” how to behave. Adults conditioned and trained by whom? Boundary implementation is a beta act. Alphas could care less how their women act, as they have a stable of other high IL women in their stable. Here is an articulate, arguable objection. However, such contention obfuscates cause and effect. DJs don’t walk away because they can; they walk away from disrespectful, unwarranted, unhealthy behavior exhibited by their partner. How could a woman understand “disrespect,” if she has been conditioned in a manner where disrespect is acceptable? How could I prognosticate that I would disrespect the Jap’s father by failing to take my shoes off at the dinner table? Incompatibility Prevails No More Some relations fail due to “incompatibility,” which is another word to describe, in most cases, albeit unintentional, the myriad violations of another’s rule of engagement. Why not overtly disclose your boundaries, bifurcating, thus unblurring, the lines surrounding rules of acceptable behavior and rendering accountability for all conduct. Try it.