Boot Camp Journal

Discussion in 'Don Juan Discussion' started by Walden, Jun 5, 2003.

  1. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Gentlemen!

    Having lurked for a while I think I've got a lot in common with the guys when they start posting here. Like most of the DJ crew here I'm not a dweeb , I'm in good shape , got a great job (hell I like it) and have a lotta great people as my friends.

    And I can't meet women to save my F***ng life.

    The reason is definitely my AFC attitudes.

    I know heaps of guys who are fat, scruffy and unemployed and are beating the women off with a stick! Man that is but frsutrating , like what am I doing wrong?

    So , having read the posts from guys here who have a range of experience levels it seems that the Boot Camp program is a good start.I figure Hell if I do the B/C at least I'm doing something about the situation y'know.

    So my plan is , I'm gonna go thru the entire boot camp program and record it on the Board. Hopefully (A) you guys with more experience will be willing to share yr experiences and tips, and (B) when I'm done it'll make an interesting sortofa progression from AFC to DJ for people thinking of doing it.

    So yeah , lets call this Day One. It's Friday , it's gonna be awesome , will report back soon.


    Mike.
     
  2. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Week 1 Day1

    Slightly hung over this morning.
    Yesterday was a friday, I reade all the course material :) at Boot Camp Bible , Pook's post nailed it , and really puts this whole DJing excercise into perspective.In a way I think a lotta guys here over focus on DJing just becuase they're aware they could be doing better and want to improve.

    As for the excercise , spending an hour where you train yourself to hold eye contact with people was interetsing . Naturally I felt a lot more confident when I was "projecting confidence". Most peple could sorta hold yr gaze fo a few seconds then look away It was intereting that everyone seems so I dunno , people-shy.

    Lat night was huge the bar was full of people (I live just down the hall from a bar - don't ask) and a good (female) friend of mine showed up with a table full of HB's.I spent most of the evening talking to them , but didn't really focus my attention on any one of them , which meant that I didn't ever close. ABC rule definitely in effect.

    We rolled out to town to hit the clubs , but it was pretty much a buncha guys trolling for skanks and I bagged it early. I also learned that this chick who I've been really into (and who has given me some way strong signals ie climbing piss drunk into my bed) is just one of those girls who (because she's had bad experiences in the past) gives out mad signals al te time without any intention behind them. It's hard to be too grumpy about it (she's had a really hard time in the past) but in the same way I'm annoyed at being jerked around. NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT!
     
  3. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Week1 Day2

    This was a saturday spent studying in the library at the mighty U of A (exams in two weeks).Did the eye contact thing a lot , I'm becoming a lot more comfortable with it , and you really notice how much you instinctively look away from people if you don't discipline yourself.I only said "Hi" to a few strangers , most;y because I forgot to.

    Saw a really cute hippie chiock that I know from the environmental club on campus, stopped and had a cup of coffee with her .She seems really lovely, I was studying till like 2130 at night and I went by to say goodbye when I was done. I was going to go for digits but I thought that I have better odds with her if I play it cool at this stage and rty next time. She said she'd probably come by tomorrow (and since g*d knows I will be ) So I might bump into her again.

    Have beenb thinking about running some SS patterns , and am working on one where you bring up meeting yr best friend , all about meeting someone and having an instant connection with them , hopefully she'll "me too" that statement and start patterning herself about thesame sort of bonding moment.

    SS is just like being the MC at a comedy club , it seems to be all about smooth segues and knowing where you can take yr audience.
     
  4. htemorp

    htemorp Senior Don Juan

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    OMG, no wonder you get NO women. Dude...when are you gonna shut that big fat pus5y of yours and grow a ****? Who writes this shiet and who's gonna read it?
     
  5. Quick

    Quick Senior Don Juan

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    I'm going to read it with interest. I'll also comment. Thanks for contributing and please keep it up.

    This board is about improving yourself and learning what kind of behaviors work best with girls. What could be more relevant than someone trying out the techniques and reporting back on how it worked out?

    Walden, you should have got the girls number at the library. You don't know for sure that you'll see her again or that you'll be able to talk. First you state your interest, then later you play it cool. Playing it cool at first leads to missed opportunities or ending up in the friend zone.
     
  6. Doppler4000

    Doppler4000 Senior Don Juan

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    Re: Week1 Day2

    This is a really common mistake, and you missed a great opportunity. Get a standard line in your head for asking for the number and get in the habit of using it. 99% of the time you're not gonna see the girl again, and if you do it might not be as great of an opportunity. I've been there. The quicker you start getting numbers the better, because you'll soon find out that getting a number often means nothing.

    Forget this stuff... just focus on a confident approach, making a good conversation and getting a phone number before you leave.
     
  7. Paranoid

    Paranoid Senior Don Juan

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    Yeah like Doppler said...try to get the basics right and master it in the first few months..once you have got the knack of DJing..you could look out for ways on improvising.
    and yes...most of the people of on the street never meet your gaze for more than 2-3 seconds..they just have to look away.

    I have been going through the DJ bible for the past 3 weeks...getting a gist of it...and so much of it makes sense now.

    Kepp up the good work Walden

    Paranoid
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I Never Tempt Fate - I Mock It Openly
     
  8. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Week 1 day 3

    Para , Doppler thanks for the input. I expect to bump into Sarah again (I didn't today) , but it makes sense to have the chick yr into know that yr rolling on her with intent rather than just pitching for the friend zone.Cheers.

    Quick.Thanks for the input I look forward to reading yr comments.

    Today I satrted into the "Hi" thing. Like most of the posters on the DJbible I found it difficult to get eye contact at the appropriate distance to greet anyone.

    I don't like the idea of saying hi to people who I don't have eye contact with , poeple won't know what the f**k's going on.

    Fortunately tomorrow is a school day so there'll be more people on campus to practice on . There may be timing issues as well. Practice practice practice y'know?

    I sat down and studied next to a totally beautiful woman at the library (seriously a natural 7 or 8) . Started convers8n but it was a bit stilted due to being (A) in a library and (b) surrounded by other people consequently didn't get far enough to realistically close).

    5 down and (ulp! 45 to go)
     
  9. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    week1 day4

    I don't believe this !

    This hi thing is difficult!

    I get as far as making eye contact with people and then it's like "he-" they look away "hel-" they look away , "G'da-" they look away.

    I had to check I hadn't inadvertently shown up buck naked or something!

    Seriously I managed to greet like two people today (and both of them greeted me back) , and those two were people I would have normally greeted (ie someone sat down at the desk next to mine).

    43 to go (yeesh!).

    ************************************

    Update.
    After posting this mesage I wnet and read the bible (DJ not King James) . The point of this exercise is confidence.

    "A confident person has no trouble saying hello to strangers"
    Blang! I thought hell , I've done ****loads of scary things in my time.Grunting "hey" at soemone isn't that hard.
    Straightaway I went out and got another 10 , just like that!

    In the course of which I get into convo w chicks twice , and got a date with anotherone tomorrow nite (number close).

    I was thinking about number closing or leaving it and I thought to what you guys had said , and y'all were dead right.

    33 to go and I can't f--ing wait!
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2003
  10. Microphone Fiend

    Microphone Fiend Master Don Juan

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    this is a nice thread on seeing a person evolve through all the stages of dj'ing. Keep it up, and us updated...
     
  11. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    week1 day5

    Phew I am exhausted!

    I only got about 2 hours in the city tonight , but through a huuuge effort i got through 15 hi's. Of that I got ignored once (and that one was admitedly badly timed).

    19 to go , I've been saying either "hi" or "g'day" becase they're quick so I'm going to try to get something like "How's it going?" or some longer greeting out where I can.

    I feel much more confident though , it's amazing how much people try to pretend everyone else is invisible though.

    I was walking down the street and this Hare Krishna was bothering people , I gave him a real hard stare and told him to f*** off. People like him are the reason everyone is so closed off in the cities , cos if you dare make eye contact with the people around you , you get bothered by jerks like that!

    I think I had 2 occasions today when I choked in front of HB's (but have greeted plenty of HB's so far). I'm happy with that though , cos with a 1 second go-window you have to be pretty on the ball to hit em all. Also this seems to be really good discipline to get you over that hesitation thing , with this , you can't afford to hesitate.

    I also learned that when you are in close proximity to someone (say waiting at a traffic light) you can start convo with them even tho u don't have eye contacy , cos yu are the only people there , who the **** else are you talking to? (I counted a few of these as Hi's even though they were more along the line of pithy and relevant comments).

    Am trying not to read the other boot camp post , cos I'm aware you guys are a week ahead of me and I don't want to lose discipline or get intimidated by thinking about what's coming up.
    <Edit> But good luck and good hunting whatever it is.
     
  12. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Week1 Day6

    Fifty!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Phew! I am wrecked!

    Today I found out that I hafta go in for wisdom teeth surgery next week at the Navy hospital. Consequently I wanted to finish week one early and start into week 2 tomorrow.

    I got through fifty Hi's today and it was an effort (today's been huge!) mostly just in finding enough peope and getting eye contact at the right moment.

    I'm comfortable with the hi thing now , (only one HB choke) , but I'm still going to practice it.I think I can get better at it , greeting people a little earlier or later , Maybe I could reduce the number of chokes by bawling out a helooooo as soon as someone catches my eye at fifty paces, so I might try to get in five or so every day from now on, though for now I'm going to wait to see what the excercise is for week 2 , I expect I'll be just as nervous as I was six days ago.

    This sounds like a load of wank but I feel like I've made more progress in terms of being outgoing and confident in the past six days than I have in the past two years (and they've been a big 2 years!).

    I also got blown off by a cute french girl on the campus who I got to talking with , but that said, me getting blown of was streets ahead of the rest of the male population who just watched me talk with her and wished they were...post mortem , I was rushed and didn't bother to establish rapport, a failure of technique rather than 'nads , which at this stage I'm happy with.


    (**** DJ school I need ****ing typing school :) )
     
  13. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Week2 Day1

    Well , I'm a little more comfortable withthe convo thing than I was with the hello thing.
    I stayed in working today so tonight I went out to the gym. Got my tally to 2 talking both to two totally gorgeous women in my tae bo class.

    The gym is an excellent place to meet women. Got good vibes off one of the girls I met and I'm gonna do something about that next class.

    The convo thing is pretty easy so long as you can get into a good context for it. In a gym class it's a piece of cake (now all I have to do is go to 5 gym classes this week !). However in reality you may see someone you want to get to know in less than a perfect situation, and so the real skill is in starting convo under crap circumstances so I'm gonna try to practice around that sorta area for the rest of the week.

    But definitely the gym thing , roomfull of gorgeous fit women and there was like me and the instructor as the only guys there, awesome!

    I also worked on my saying hi to passing women thing and that worked well. One girl was a bit further away from me than usual , but I said hi early (ie before we'd closed ) and she looked up (smile) and she smiled and said hello.
    Which let's face it is a lot more pleasant than that try-and-pretend-you're-both-invisible bull****.

    Good day's training.
     
  14. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Week2 Day2

    Trying out starting con's with people out in the world (as opposed to going looking for good situations) and right now am drinking a really f.ucken awful coffee outta the machine -blech!.

    Got talking to a woman at the traffic lights , I had to make two seperate , consecutive inane comments before she warmed to the conversation , which was fair enough , I guess not everyone walks around with something clever to say prepared all the time.
    Got cut short a bit by the crossing buzzer going so it wasn't 2 minutes.

    Also got talking to a way cute indian chick in the line at a Subway Sandwhich.I started with "so, what's good here?" and I should have followed up by asking here if she's a vegan (she had a strange fouvrite sandwhich that she made a point of telling me about). But that met the 2 minute threshold (barely). I got the impression she wasn't in the market for c*ck though, and left it at that.

    So the convo tally is at three , but the choke tally is also up for today , no less than 3 hot chicks passed me without me shooting a greeting off , choking more than a WWE contestant.
     
  15. Templeton

    Templeton Master Don Juan

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    Great post. Interesting to see how it is going. Keep it up. Why not try out the speed seduction stuff too? I have started implementing this into my conversations with women. Keen to see how it works.
     
  16. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Week 2 Day 2 (later that night...)

    Faaaaaaark what a screw up.

    I went out to this punk gig (hey , I like punk music ever since I was a kid) with the intention of practicing cold appraching into convo at chicks at the show.Totally choked. ****ing shocking.My best friend led me into a group of five punk girls cos he had business with one of them , leaving me in front of these four hot punk chicks.He finishes his business , I panic erp urm ulp and bail out!

    The whole show I couldn't bring myself to roll in , it was like I knew that every chick there would have friend somewhere in the crowd (it was a small show and its a small scene) who would be watching thinking who's that loser talking to Whatever-her-name-is.

    Gutted!

    Good in a way in that i need the dose of humility to tell me to work hard at this , but man ! I was so confident with chicks at my college and then at this show it totally evaporated.

    It clarified my goals though.

    * I want to be able to roll in on anyone anywhere anytime,
    * I want to be able to consistently establish rapport with people (obviously chicks especially),
    * I want to be able to close and have it come off smooth even if it's a negative result.

    That's the goal. Seven weeks to achieve it.

    Back out there tomorrow.

    (Also learned that , a nod and a grunt may be an appropriate way to greet a grizzled old gunnery sergeant but no , it is not an appropriate way to greet a beautiful girl - do I actually get dumber by the day? :) )


    *************************

    BTW thanks for the suggestion Templeton , I'm really interested in this SS thing and I hae an idea of a couple of patterns I want to try. Frankly I need to get into having longer conversations with people , before I can start using that stuff.I really need to start drawing people into it.I can do it fine in context ("so why did you pick this class ?...") but I need to learn how to apply it more generally.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2003
  17. isotope

    isotope Senior Don Juan

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    nice to see this post, to keep track of your progress. inspiring.

    i will start my camp in a couple weeks when i get back on campus. doing the smiling thing now thouhg (but this town is full of old people)
     
  18. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Week2 Day3

    Crap day for the convo tally. 0.
    Choked on 3 hi's in fornt of HCs but did manage to get one hi off to a cute girl, instincts improving a bit.

    Actually I was really frustrated so as I drove home from campus I put on a Tony Robbins tape (one of my students put me onto his stuff and quite a lot of it is good).
    He was telling this story about how one of his mates was running a soccer team for kids and go these two really bratty kids in the squad.His response was to make the bratty ass kids into assistant coaches. The kids behaviour totally changed cos they were no longer acting according to their rules for prima donna football players , rather they were acting according to their rules for how coaches should behave.

    Interesting.
    It occurs to me that I ave been acting accodring to Ordinary guy (read : AFC) rules that say things like
    "If you go up to a woman cold and she immediately doesn't start kino flirting with you , then you've been SHOT DOWN and you've been HARASSINg her and everyone there knows you just got shot down and you're a loser".
    As opposed to DJ rules which would be more like
    "if you go up to abeautiful woman in an amusing c/f kinda ways and she isn't feeling you , there couyld be a dozen reasons but by going up you proved you're an in-charge kinda guy , and have just paid her a genuine compliment".

    Now ,
    which rules would you rather be living by?


    ***********************

    Cheers for the info-check isotope , good luck with your b/camp.
     
  19. Microphone Fiend

    Microphone Fiend Master Don Juan

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    Oh Dear
    This thread has taken a turn for the worse in terms of confidence. Your lacking right now as is expected in the latter boot camp stages but if I manage to start and catch you up, then you have got a huge problem:)
     
  20. Walden

    Walden Master Don Juan

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    Is that a challenge Microphonefiend ? :)

    You're on!
     

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