MotownMack
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2008
- Messages
- 373
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- 11
Well, it's not my theory, so I am not offended in the least that don't agree-you're welcome to your opinion. But this is one of those "hit you over the head" moments I had when you read something you experienced first hand (for me, anyway). And quite frankly, not only have I experienced it, but it's in accordance with the seduction model. That is, if you believe in that.
I even had a girl actually admit it to me once, which is how I know it to be true in at least some cases: We talk on and off for few days online, and she decides she wants to meet. I tell her "Look, I have hockey game tonight, so the best I can do is swing by your place at like 1am." She says, thats fine. I get there, she's pretty cute, so we talk for about an hour, and we start messing around. It goes as far as getting her top off, and he playing with my junk, etc, but no sex. We plan to do something tomorrow, and we kind of blow each other off. Then we have sporadic contact for a few weeks, and at some point, when she asks why I don't call her more often. I told her it was because she didn't seem terribly interested. She said that absolutely was not the case, but she was leery about me because after what happened the first night, she figured I was only out for sex at that point.
Hard to deny that going too far, too fast, didn't impede my progress in the long run.
The same olds true for guys who stay too long in the comfort zone, too. They guys who don't move forward quickly enough, get LJBF'd. Do you think this is garbage too? I don't. I've seen it happen to a buddy of mine religiously, who is actually very friendly and very good at talking to people-just never leaves the comfort zone. Text book.
EDIT: Ironically, I just re-read your post, and you said you believe what is happening to you is exactly the same as the example I wrote above (which essentially the same thing, just stressing different phases). So you believe in timing in some aspects of the seduction phases, but not others? Seems to me that if you believe in this model, it's all or nothing... not bits and pieces.
Now, I will admit, there are a variety of reasons this could happen that may or may not have anything to do with this. But on quite a numbers of the examples I've personally been through, I totally believe it to be true. Even in a case where sex may not have been involved, the girl could be going - "Well, we already went this far before we should have, if we go out again, he's going to be expecting (or only want sex)".
One last comment on it-again, theory I've read vs. what I've experienced, and pretty much along the same lines. In the beginning, it may be mostly curiosity that has not actually generated a lot of attraction. So, you end up screwing around (saying, kissing a little), and that curiosity ends up being satisfied enough to where they don't end up pursuing it. Thus, the woman appears to have gone cold.
I actually had one girl even tell me that is why she was leery about dating again. Hard to deny that going too far, too fast, didn't impede my progress.
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