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Becoming Friends With Females. (The DJ friend)

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by Jwheatly, Jan 8, 2002.

  1. Jwheatly

    Jwheatly Senior Don Juan

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    I think we have blown this "friend" zone thing way out of proportion, and it seems that a lot of people are not capable of using their past experiences combined with what they learn of this site in order to formulate a factual hypothesis. Different situations will exhibit different behaviorisms, and usually nothing is set into stone.

    The whole idea is that once you become friends with a chick you loose all rights to becoming sexual with her. I don't believe that this is completely factual. The problem is usually that the guys who get into the typical "friend" relationships with females are most likely "AFCs", and they don't have any knowledge whatsoever on how to work that friend relationship into something more meaningful

    The difference between a regular "friend", and a "DJ friend" is that a DJF knows what he is doing. A regular friend does not understand women period. He waits around for the girl to make the move; he waits around forever hoping that his friendship will spark something in the girl.

    The girl on the other hand thinks the relationship is strictly platonic, and does not want to ruin it by introducing sexual feelings; it’s not her to job anyway... why would she? It’s not like she is desperate. Just the fact that the "AFC" is all over her indicates that she is not a looser to begin with. A lot of times the “AFC” friend has tons of potential to seduce the friend, but his AFCness always comes into the way.

    One thing you have to take into consideration is that it is always the "AFC's" who are the ones in dead end "friendship" relationships. When this particular "AFC" eventually graduates into becoming a Don Juan, they instantly relate all their bad experiences with women, with the times they were “friends” with women they loved. This is why you will see every ex-AFC guy crying about "friendship zone this, and friendship zone that"


    Now you may ask; why would a DJ should ever befriend a girl? Well there are various reasons to, Some of them are for social proof, others are to steal chicks away from their boyfriends, and another is sexual reserve (sometimes that can be good for extremely hot hot hot females, that are not attracted to normal guys period.).

    I believe that it is always good to have a few platonic female friends around. They are good company (social proof), and always have available friends who they can hook you up with. Remember that a recommendation from another female is probably the best possible tool that you can use to meet a new female. When you are introduced by a “DJ friend”, all of the doubts, and fears, and screens that she usually associates with meeting a new guy are instantly removed. Plus she does not have to worry about you being approved by her friends.

    “DJ friends” are usually great to just kick it with, and they are classified as "DJ friends" because they will never look at you in the same light, as they would if you were just a dumb ass "AFC" looking for companionship. The first reason is because “DJ friend” knows that you are a "real man". If she has introduced you to her friends, they will automatically relate all that info back about their dates, and sexual exploits with you, she will no that you are not a "*****". She will know that you know how to treat women, and this will definitely intrigue her. When a DJ has female friends, it is usually up to him, whether he keeps them as platonic friends or not. This is indicative even if in the begining they lack sexual desire towards him, and they only seem to want to maintain a nonphysical relationship. I know many DJ’s who maintain many "DJ friends" for this sole purpose. They are not brainwashed by the idea of "once you become friends with a chick, you automatically loose her". To them the idea of a female friend is usually "***** on reserve". They are the ones in control of when they access that *****.

    Another reason to become friend is if you are trying to steal the girl away from her boyfriend. This was mentioned in this post by D.L.G http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001137.html

    Now I am not saying that the "friendship" zone is always the correct method of seducing a female. This site has tons of literature on the how to do it the standard way. I actually don't recommend becoming friends with females for the sole purpose of getting a sexual relationship with them, first of it takes time, and with as many beautiful females as there are in this world, there is just very little point to doing it, unless that specific female is special to you for a reason. Sorta like if you are a personal trainer for a superstar like Halle Berry [​IMG]

    Even though I don’t believe the friendship method should be used over the standard methods for regular situations. I do believe is that a DJ should have every tool in his arsenal.
     
  2. BayPimpin

    BayPimpin New Member

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    I agree.....GOOD POST!!

    ------------------
    If you dont have game....You dont have Sheit!
     
  3. DonJoey

    DonJoey Master Don Juan

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    I have heaps of chick friends, 99% are hot chicks that I have probably asked out and been rejected....but! the difference here is that i'm not friends with them so that I can fool myself into thinking I may have a chance in the future or so that I can devote my existance into being their Mr Everything or Mr Lap dog.
    I'm friends cause I wanna be friends and enjoy their company.
    Its ok to be friends, as long as you keep your self respect and accept that a girl who rejected you once is very unlikely to be romantically attracted to you in the future (well its a very low low chance) and that you will not become her lapdog and be used and abused.
    When one of these girls tries to use me for something like borrow my car I tell em straight out to get pis$ off and find someone else who'll be fooled by their pouting, I keep my self respect, they respect me and we stay friends.
     
  4. Jwheatly

    Jwheatly Senior Don Juan

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    "When one of these girls tries to use me for something like borrow my car I tell em straight out to get pis$ off and find someone else who'll be fooled by their pouting"

    An "AFC" would never do that...
     
  5. Pro

    Pro Master Don Juan

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    Dude there is a total difference in what your referring to. Usually where there is a case of some LJBF it's some super newb AFC that's posting about it and there is no hope because he has terribly messed up the situation sexually and UNLESS he comes here and turns into a true don juan and then goes back to hook up with her, then the chance is mad slim.

    DJs do not, I repeat DO NOT, fall into the LJBF zone, that's all there is to it. We want a girl, we get em'.

    A true DJ knows about a girls interest and what not and shouldn't even fall in the LJBF zone ever.

    I know there are exceptions for AFCs even, but we know that's luck and doesn't lead to much.
     
  6. Powertrip

    Powertrip Master Don Juan

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    I disagree. You should have steady female friends.. just the right kind. I've got a few in my toolbox that have paid for themselves many times over, whether its finding girls for me, or helping other girls with their "background checks" at clubs & bars I consistently get more & better action with them around.

    Your best bet would be an AFC's long-term g/f or something of the like. This takes away the pressure and confusion.

    ------------------
    -Chris
     
  7. Jwheatly

    Jwheatly Senior Don Juan

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    I made this post because of the general attitude that is associated with "once you become friends, you loose them" type of thinking.

    I know that the whole issue is more complex than this, but for newbies, its a black, and white thing. I was trying to explain that becoming friends with females for don juans is different than when an AFC becomes friends with a female. I also tried to point out that once a don juan befriends a female for whatever reason, he is the one who chooses what level of intimacy the relationship would invole.
     
  8. Powertrip

    Powertrip Master Don Juan

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    Well then, I'd have to agree with that. It's been a long time since I've been an AFC. [​IMG]DJ's DO choose who is what to whom.

    -C.
     
  9. Pook

    Pook Master Don Juan

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    Let us interview the subjects...

    The AFC, ala Mr. Nice Guy, comes walking in, crying and bubbling.

    Pook shines the light in his eyes and walks around him in a circle.


    Now, Mr. Nice Guy, why are you so sad?"

    "Because... (sob), the girl I want only sees me as a friend!"

    "What! How do you know?"

    "Because I ask her out consistantly and she says, 'Let's Just Be Friends.'"

    Poor Nice Guy! His heart is shattered and scattered across the floor! He wants to feel sorry for himself, wants others to feel sorry for himself, and hates how life has become.

    But let us interrupt the Nice Guy's picking up his pieces of heart...

    "Do say, Nice Guy, what you were trying to do?"

    "Well (sob), I thought I could get close to this girl by being friends. I wanted to get close to her. Then, perhaps, something would happen."

    This is very common. A hot woman has tons of guys trying to 'be friends' with her. But is it friendship?

    Bring in the next subject!

    Thus enters the hot woman herself. She sits down, Pook shines the light in her eyes, and walks around her with hands clasped behind his back.

    Now woman! Why did you not go out with this guy?

    "I just don't see him in that way? We're just friends."

    But is it friends? Oh woman! Do tell, what does he remind you of really?

    (she thinks) "I think of him like a brother."

    Like a brother! In other words, the concept of sexuality referring to the Nice Guy she shudders in horror. Horror!

    She thought of him like a brother because he acted like a brother. Going out of your way to do things for her (in a non-sexual/relationship context) is what her brother would do.

    A woman must see you in a sexual way in order for any hope for romance to blossom (Wyldfire uses being 'worthy' to 'date'. Since women will never admit that they are wholly sexual beings, they just express it in that way.) The Nice Guy is going after the girl in some bizarre friendship way.

    But let us complete the task. Bring in the Don Juan!

    Don Juan enters and sits down, confidantly.

    Don Juan, how can you be friends with girls and be successful where as the Nice Guy cannot?

    "Pook, its all about fun. I have friends that are girls just because. I talk to them, hang out with them, have fun with them. The bitter truth is that the Nice Guy is not the Fun Guy. A woman won't date you unless she sees you in that way, in other words, she feels good around you,. translating to fun."

    Indeed! Especially at the beginning, the best dates are action dates. Doing stuff rather than just talking or going to a movie or eating is more fun. The more fun she has, the more attractive you become.

    When you have friends that are girls, in other words not romantically going after them, you are purely with them because of the fun. You enjoy spending time with them.

    Alas, the more fun women have the more attracted they become. So eventually they turn their romantic target in your direction.

    When the Nice Guy is 'friends', is he fun? Hardly. He tries to 'connect' to her in every possible way. He tries to 'get to know her' yet she is bored to hell (thus, she uses him as emotional tampon).

    A girl will not consider dating a guy who bores her.

    If there were any rule with women, I would say Never Bore Them. Make them laugh. Make them have fun. Heck, make them cry. Make them embarrassed. But never, NEVER bore them.

    Also, there is the element of comfort. You'd be more likely to hang out with someone you know, right? The same is with women. A girl that feels comfortable with you will always be much more likely to be interested.

    There is another reason why female friends may become interested. Sheer numbers.

    Let’s have fun with this. Here’s another way to look at Success with Women, whereas the Success is defined as:

    Success with Women

    [(A x P)C+M] x W

    A= Initial Appearance
    P= Personality
    C= Challenge
    M= Mystery
    W= Women

    What are you high in? What needs working on?

    Extroverted Nice Guys have more success then introverted Don Juans. When W equals zero, then no matter how awesome or attractive you are, your success rate equals zero. Improving quantity improves likelihood of results.

    When you have female friends, the 'W' goes up and up.

    When you become friends with a chick, it doesn't mean nothing can happen. Rather, when you see the chick (because she's hot or whatever) as fun itself and being around her is fun to you, that is when you go into LJBF.

    Nice Guy has fun just being around a hot chick; the Don Juan has fun doing things with a hot chick. This is the difference.

    Pook places the Nice Guy in front of him.

    Admit it! You don't really care to go to the movies. You only did it so you'd be AROUND HER. ADMIT IT!

    "IT'S TRUE! IT'S TRUE! Oh Pook, I am so ashamed! (boo hoo hoo)"

    Pook then points to the Don Juan. "And YOU succeed because you pursue fun. She is along for the ride."

    "Very true, Mr. Pook."

    And remember, the Fun Guy not only gets the girl's TRUE friendship, but, eventually, her romantic interest as well.

    ------------------
    Pook
    "As you think, you shall become."
    "The biggest risk you can take is not to risk at all."
     
  10. Jwheatly

    Jwheatly Senior Don Juan

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    well said...

    [This message has been edited by Jwheatly (edited 01-12-2002).]
     
  11. DJDamage

    DJDamage Master Don Juan

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    Bump

    Good tip! I see this question all the time in the forum, and if there is one way to do it, Pook has put it nicely.

    Therefore you should not persue hot women for friendship, but for fun and under your own terms (its good to always keep a healthy dose around when you date, so if things end with one chick, you can more easily turn your female friend into more - but that's only if you follow the DJ route - Fun action get together, not talking about her problems or sitting down and have an intellectual coversation about nothing- Excite her not bore her).

    You also want to keep your distance from her, keep her on her toes, confuse her a bit, frustarate her when she wants to get closer to you, making sure she knows you are a buzy guy who is into himself and can and always get a hot date. If she wants your time, she will have to compete for it.
     
  12. Ricky

    Ricky Master Don Juan

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    I'm actually looking for only friends as i move to this new town. The reason is I have a gf that i'm serious about.

    It will be great to have this frame of reference. I'm pretty sure the girls won't always want to be just friends.

    I can't wait!
     

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