"Attached" Women Sitting By Themselves in Bars

[Frank2500]

Re:

I hear you, Jophil. And it's such a shame. At least, the one good thing that has come out of all of these experiences I've had is that now that I'm aware of the manner in which many women in this country behave, I have developed more of an edge to myself. I don't let them talk to me just anyhow or try to disrespect me. I wouldn't say that women in my part of the world are necessarily financially dependent on men. Most of them too are independent and hold professional jobs. The only difference is that when a woman gets to a certain age and still isn't married, it is seen as somewhat of a stigma. I mean...one of my ex-girlfriends back home has been e-mailing me recently after so many years of non-communication. She's in her late 20s and is feeling the pressure to get married.



In all of this, I really do respect American men for the most part considering all the crap guys have to put up with when it comes to many women in this country. Many young women here are just so spoiled and shallow and self-centered and used to being put on a pedestal that they think they can get away with doing almost anything and men will be on their knees pleading for their mercy. I'm not sure if you read one of my posts from several months ago where I talked about a young woman at my gym who got up from her seat when she was working out next to me and proceeded to yell in my face, thinking it would intimidate me. I told her not to disrespect me and to get out of my face. I'm not gonna give any woman a chance to try to talk to me like that. They say they want men to be men and to act like men, yet at the same time they encourage AFC behavior in many respects and feel threatened when masculinity is too assertive.

 

[Frank2500]

Re: To LatinoMan

Hi There LatinoMan,

Well, in response to your last question...it's a bit complicated, but I'll try. Back in college, especially during my freshman and sophomore days, I certainly wasn't that mature yet and coming from another country, I wasn't yet familiar with how the dating game worked here. So it took me a lot of studying and observing, a lot of rejection and negative experiences to eventually toughen up and figure out what was going on. During my undergraduate days in college, all a guy needed to do was park in front of one of the buildings with an expensive-looking flashy car, and almost all of the girls on campus would be staring at him. It was of course a plus if you wore your baseball hat either backward or sideways and had one of the baggy white or black T-shirts on.



Back then, I didn't know the extent at which women my age could be superficial. As I did mention earlier, I've had a chance to run into quite a few of these women who either turned me down or never gave me the time of day while an undergraduate student in college, and I seem to sense so much regret in their eyes and all of a sudden, I'm getting attention these days from the kinds of women who back in the day would have never given me a chance.


That's why I say that it's unfortunate women here in the U.S. have too much power and such an unfair advantage over men in the initial phases of dating and relationships. As I'm sure most recovering AFCs on here would agree, there's nothing more painful than being continually rejected and turned down growing up by young women you found attractive in college. Then all of a sudden, many years later, they expect you to be willing to take them back under the pretext that back then, they were in search of excitement, wanted adventure and no commitment, hence their preference for the so-called thugs and bad boys. Why in the world would I want to reconsider a woman who's treated me that way? So much unfair power is concentrated in their hands to the point where they know they could hurt a man's feelings earlier on in life and then still come back to that same person later on expecting him to embrace them with open arms. The fact of the matter is they underestimate the effects a lot of this superficial behavior has on men later on in life. Sure, during my undergraduate years, I was very skinny and very much into getting good grades and into the books. So why do some of these women suddenly think I'm qualified to date them just because I work out and they can see that I'm muscular? There's more to a man than that.


Again, as we all know, it isn't considered acceptable or masculine in America for men to express their emotions and to speak out from their hearts on issues of love. The fact of the matter is, many women here hurt men just as much as men have hurt them. But we aren't allowed to speak out about our own experiences because we would be quick to be labeled as less masculine, too sensitive and even effeminate. Lack of balance. It's just not right. Very unfair.

 

[Latinoman]

Frank...

You self improved yourself by coming to the Land of Oportunity. You got a quality education I presume. And by what I've read...you are in great physical shape.

I have a secret to share with you: Continue improving yourself...because AGE is in OUR side. Always remember that. AGE is ALWAYS in our side.

I watched the funny movie "Knocked up" and there was a part in which this woman and her sister were not allowed in a nightclub (one for being relatively "old" and the other for being pregnant). Anyway...the older married woman(Debbie, played by Leslie Mann - which I personally find hot) said something like this to her sister (and I'm paraphrasing): "Biology is so unfair. Soooo unfair! You see how Pete (her husband played by Paul Rudd) is aging...he is aging so well. He is looking better as he age!!! But look at me! Look at me!!!".


Do you know what is your other advantage? Perhaps because of your accent (if you have one)...some women are going to assume that you might not be as smart or as educated or professional as the "articulated white man". That's fine...because it will allow you to identify who is shallow and who is not from the very beggining.

 

[jophil28]

Het Frank, did you ever watch, " Everybody loves Raymond." ?

 

[Boschy]

There are lot of tips about how to handle the "I have a boyfriend" blow-off. You need to do a lot more reading. The answers are all here and in the Tips and Articles pages in SoSuave.

This point cannot be stressed enough. Read read read read!!!!! All and every situation has been covered and written about by DJs and PUAs.

 

[Frank2500]

Re: To Latino Man

I appreciate your additional comments, Latino Man. I've been away from the forum for a while to actually do some hunting in the field. So far, I have two, possible prospects-one at my gym, the other an administrator at a university. In response to what you said, you have a point. I've met many people, not only women, who assume that I'm not well educated or not very intelligent because I have an accent, and there are many such people like that in the U.S.


Ironically, my English is actually better than a lot of those people and few of them would even think that I have a Master's degree. People who've been surprised that I speak English fluently ask me questions such as: "Wow, you speak English so well. How long have you been speaking English?" And then when it comes to dating, the superficial types would of course immediately walk away from me once they hear me speak. My accent is a mixture of French and British, because my country is a former French and British colony. I just don't give such people a chance to disrespect me in the first place. When I first came to the U.S. as a freshman and was still learning the negative and positive aspects of the culture, it took me a while to get the hang of things. I just don't surround myself with negative people.


And in terms of the "I have a boyfriend" responses from women...well, right now at my age and at this point in my life, I simply move on to the next woman whenever I get that line. As I had mentioned older, I'm a bit too old to be chasing women all over the place like a man who's still in his early 20s and I think that I deserve a lot better. In fact, I look at it these days as a weeding out process, with the woman disqualifying herself. If she gives me a fake number or lies to me that she has a boyfriend after I talk to her, there's a great chance that we probably won't get along if we hooked up in the first place. She might be into the "I need a thug/bad boy" stuff, which is a definite turn off to someone like me; she may be superficial, which is of course another turn off.


But it's been a fun week overall. Sometimes it takes just one positive response and one phone number from an open-minded woman to get you bakc into the game when you've lost much motivation like in my case.

 

[Latinoman]

Frank, you're getting the right attitude. Just go out there and have fun.

 

[Latinoman]

You don't have to tell us, but I'm assuming you are either from Cameron or St. Kitts.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

My lips are sealed, Latino Man, but I'm going to say that in terms of guessing where I'm from...you're almost on the right path. You're quite a detective there, pal. Good guess work!

 

[Tazman]

How about Barbados?

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

My lips are sealed to protect a bit of my privacy, Tazman. But you and LatinoMan are definitely on the right track. Good detective work.