Anti-Dump's Machine (Part III: You BUY a relationship, not BUILD one) Anti-Dump says that guys who go into relationships with no guidelines of what they want, end up with the girl doing things the guy didn't want. You do not 'build' a relationship. You BUY one. My brother was looking for a wife, a woman he could settle down with. He started to pick and choose the women he wanted. With them, he would practically interview them. "Was she right for me?" he wondered (rather than thinking, "Am I good enough for her?"). He even gave out specifications on what he wanted in the relationship. For example, he specified how often he expected sex ("at least twice a week" he said. And she agreed! Later, he told me, "Maybe I could have pushed for three times a week!") haha. What this shows is how he BOUGHT the relationship. He put down certain things he expected, was even candid and up front about them. A guy with no guidelines of what he wants ends up getting DUMPED and BURNED. Relapse responded to this with his story. It is long but very crystallizing. It makes the point I've been trying to hammer for years: He didn't protect his heart! This is a reason why you can do all the right things in attracting the women but STILL LOSE. Critics on Anti-Dump that he didn't focus on the 'attracting' part totally miss the point Anti-Dump was making (ANYONE can attract women. I was attracting women when I was even a NICE GUY. You can attract women all day but still get no where. You must filter them out). As long as I've been on the forums, I haven't seen anyone make the same points Anti-Dump did. Now listen to what Relapse says next: Now read the following very carefully: Improving yourself and respect yourself first! Where have we heard that before? Some guys are scared of relationships. But the point is that if you are constantly growing, constantly improving, constantly living, then you will never become boring, always remain a bit mysterious, and you will always be interesting to her. Anti-Dump makes this point to Relapse: Make the woman WORK to get you. This doesn’t mean becoming passive or disinterested, it means going on with your life and if she wants to come along, fine, but you have some ground rules. If she isn’t consistent, then she is GONE.