Anti-Dump's Machine (Part 3: You BUY a relationship, not BUILD one)

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by Pook, Oct 17, 2003.

  1. Pook

    Pook Master Don Juan

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    Anti-Dump's Machine (Part III: You BUY a relationship, not BUILD one)

    Anti-Dump says that guys who go into relationships with no guidelines of what they want, end up with the girl doing things the guy didn't want. You do not 'build' a relationship. You BUY one.

    My brother was looking for a wife, a woman he could settle down with. He started to pick and choose the women he wanted. With them, he would practically interview them. "Was she right for me?" he wondered (rather than thinking, "Am I good enough for her?"). He even gave out specifications on what he wanted in the relationship. For example, he specified how often he expected sex ("at least twice a week" he said. And she agreed! Later, he told me, "Maybe I could have pushed for three times a week!") haha. What this shows is how he BOUGHT the relationship. He put down certain things he expected, was even candid and up front about them. A guy with no guidelines of what he wants ends up getting DUMPED and BURNED.

    Relapse responded to this with his story. It is long but very crystallizing. It makes the point I've been trying to hammer for years:

    He didn't protect his heart! This is a reason why you can do all the right things in attracting the women but STILL LOSE. Critics on Anti-Dump that he didn't focus on the 'attracting' part totally miss the point Anti-Dump was making (ANYONE can attract women. I was attracting women when I was even a NICE GUY. You can attract women all day but still get no where. You must filter them out). As long as I've been on the forums, I haven't seen anyone make the same points Anti-Dump did.

    Now listen to what Relapse says next:

    Now read the following very carefully:

    Improving yourself and respect yourself first! Where have we heard that before? Some guys are scared of relationships. But the point is that if you are constantly growing, constantly improving, constantly living, then you will never become boring, always remain a bit mysterious, and you will always be interesting to her.

    Anti-Dump makes this point to Relapse:

    Make the woman WORK to get you. This doesn’t mean becoming passive or disinterested, it means going on with your life and if she wants to come along, fine, but you have some ground rules. If she isn’t consistent, then she is GONE.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2003
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  2. Matt Rogers

    Matt Rogers Master Don Juan

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    Wow! Another thoughtful instillation installment of ADs Philosophy. These post have totally revolutionised my approach to women. Before I looked for girls who I thought were hot and pursued them even though they barely gave me the time of day, and some of them manipulated me a fair deal. Looking back on my last few years of misadventure, I realise I passed up two or three girls who showed some of these criteria of high interest. In future I shall look for high interest first, before then assessing their looks etc.

    Just curious, what did Anti-Dump say about where to meet girls and find these girls with high interest levels. While I am at college, my course is male dominated, and my societies tend to be male dominated, and while I could join an aerobics club I think the girls would spot a wolf in sheep's clothing!

    I just feel I do not meet a large enough cross section of girls to see a lot of girls with high interest.

    Thanks Pook!
     
  3. Oxide

    Oxide Master Don Juan

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    I can understand why AD's idea's werent welcomed as much as expected. You see, this runs much deeper then the average talk on these forums.
    Most of the guys, new guys, feel there is one goal for them : fvck as many chicks as they can. I was like that, and im sure every other guy here has too.

    And so we read and read, we suck the information in, and go out there to conquer, we fall and if we are strong enough, we rise again. But really, we are trying all too hard.

    As soon as a woman realizes that she had just met the REAL MAN (you!), she is going to be the one reading up cosmopolitan's and talking endlessly with her friends, trying to figure out a way to make you hers. She gets the same thrill as you do, when you chase after good looking girls. But the trick is to never let her think she has "Got you".

    For if that happens, you are no more.
     
  4. B9

    B9 Senior Don Juan

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    Have to say that this is excellent stuff and a most welcome change from the 'get the pvssy!' attitude that seems prevalent on the forum these days (not that I mind it, but it is not my primary objective with women, nor are women my primary objective in life as it seems to be for some here).

    I appreciate you taking the time to compile this, pook. Thanks.
     
  5. bp1974

    bp1974 Master Don Juan

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    Ditto. Thanks!
     
  6. MVPlaya

    MVPlaya Master Don Juan

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    This is a great thread... I like these Pook threads. Who is Anti-Dump though?
     
  7. Nocturnal

    Nocturnal Master Don Juan

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    pook from what i've seen almost all of your posts have been focused on women. but I have a question. do you believe in the development of other skills (most if not all social ones) that might not relate directly to getting women, such as humor etc? from my point of view, you have to build everything up around a foundation of strong values and learned social skills (everyone learns them, but some pick them up more naturally than others), or you just can't have any kind of long term relationship. In the process of pursuing women, would you also work on overall social skills?
     
  8. Blaaaaat

    Blaaaaat Senior Don Juan

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    Strange, all the posts I've read from pook were suggestion to improve yourself. The relation with "to get woman" was, ofcourse, also there, but that is what this forum is about.
     
  9. drixsa

    drixsa Master Don Juan

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    It means when you first meet a woman she has to ALREADY have the potential for being a partner.

    bump this for my future reference.

    (this stuff is awsome)
     
  10. Lifeforce

    Lifeforce Master Don Juan

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    bump
     
  11. S0LID

    S0LID Master Don Juan

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    NEXT, NEXT, NEXT
     
  12. LAWYER

    LAWYER Banned

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    this post.... is a classic
     
  13. comic_relief

    comic_relief Master Don Juan

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    exactly, I what I wasw thinking as well. I need to do some of the same stuff as well.

    Looks like I need to polish up on Anti-Dump Machine this week.

    I actually did "buy" my girlfriend as well. It was utter genius. I made her jump through the hoops.

    The only thing that i need to make sure that I don't do is say "i love you" so much. I need to desparately work on that now.

    comic_relief
     
  14. Interceptor

    Interceptor Master Don Juan

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    You've given her the power.
    She now has authority over you.

    Many males feel the need to ecxpress initmate issues verbally, rather than through acvtins.

    If you express your love and commitment verbally, it will actually not have the same force or power in her mind, and will not steer the relationship the way you want it to go.
    In fact, many women feel that when males over verbalize their intents and feelings it's a big turn off. They feel you are insecutre, and needy for validation.

    Very big turn offs.

    Masculine Men are Men of Action. Remember that.

    Leave the words to the women.
    Now, don't go thinking that you have to be SILENT. That's not what I'm saying.
    But you don't have to verbalize:

    "I'm the most romantic guy you'll ever meet."

    "No man will ever liove you more than me."

    "I will take care of you and priotect you."

    "You can trust me. Really."

    "I will never, ever cheat on you."

    "You have me forever. I will never leave you."



    Blah blah blah.....

    Blech.

    It soudns counterintuitive.

    But you know what this is?

    The matrix, and all the programming you've been indoctrinated in.
    It's not what women really want.
    It's a paradox.
    They do want this, but they don't really want you to over verbalize it.
     
  15. eyedogg

    eyedogg Don Juan

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    Well said interceptor!
     
  16. comic_relief

    comic_relief Master Don Juan

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    bump
    *giggle* "Yeah, still working on the same stuff I guess."

    This post is OLD from my second girlfriend and I suppose that I did with the little knowledge that I had. Now my knowledge of what I want is much greater. The newest girl that I am seeing I screened very effectively.

    Knows foreign language? Yep.
    Intelligent? Yep, grad school this fall.
    Wants to travel the globe? Definitely.
    Willing to move out of PA? Definitely :)
    Intelligent thought provoking relatives that are not fvcked up? Excellent.
    Knows how to bicycle? YES! (important for a cross country cyclist)
    Ambitious? Most definitely
    Would rather spend time outdoors than indoors? YES!
    Knows how to play Magic the Gathering? Yes
    Knows how to play Mario Kart? Definitely
    Knows how to play a musical instrument? Three
    World Traveler? Yep, Europe, Asia, and North America
    - the list goes on and on -

    Some of my previous relationships I just got into and it ended with utter bullsh!t. Now I am much MUCH more picky about who I let into my life.

    I may not agree with all of anti-dump advice, BUT I do definitely agree with this post :woo:

    - Comic_Relief
     
  17. goodlistener

    goodlistener Don Juan

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  18. Magg45

    Magg45 New Member

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    Nice site to learn many things. But it should not treated it so fake or negative aspect.
     
  19. GetBetter

    GetBetter Don Juan

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    Hello Pook,

    First of all I'd like to thank you for another great post! Your posts and now Anti-Dump's suggestions or advices are all too helpful and now are kind of making me believe that what I was thinking is right.

    Pook, you have always concentrated on self improvement rather than girls; being the best in your own eyes, accomplishing goals that you always wanted to and just do what you like, right? And so I am doing. A sense of accomplishment and confidence fills up. Also, I am not afraid of girls anymore, know why? Because of what I started to think and now such posts of yours make me believe so.

    I am not sure why but I have started to think of girls as creatures who do not posses much power but it is US, Males who are superior and better than Females. We shall dominate them and they shall listen! Females are now kind of creatures who are meant to be controlled by us and if they do not do so they shall be kicked out of our lives. Due to this I always have a feeling now that I can get any girl. Although, I havent made any moves yet because not many girls interest me now and those who do are usually older and whom I just have glimpses of while riding bike. I even use Kino( just small touch) and on girls who I talk for the first time and they dont respond badly or weirdly. I dont care either what or how they respond. I shall get what I want!


    But tell me, is this correct? Is the way I think of girls should be the right way or not? I am curious; call this silliness but w/e.
     
  20. Krueg

    Krueg Master Don Juan

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    bump
     

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