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Aim high!

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by Pook, Nov 15, 2001.

  1. Pook

    Pook Master Don Juan

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    Pook
    I know not how others see it; but as for me, I see Don Juaning as making dreams come true.

    Dreams! The spice of life, the universal spring of success! But I must be wrong, for Bryan Redford says, ”stick to your own league."(http://www.sosuave.com/home/redfield/bryan22.htm)

    Stick to your own league! What does that mean? Does that mean there exists an aristocracy of genetics, and that we happened to be on the bottom, the status of clowns and peasants to these princesses and princes?

    “Forgive me, madam. But you, dear, are out of my league.” Is this what we should say to the girls we find gorgeous and beautiful? But why stop there? Why not ask, “Oh, please, may I have permission to speak to you, princess?” or “Thank you, dear, for letting me be in your graceful presence.”

    “Pook, you exaggerate.”

    Do I? Don’t misunderstand. I think Redford has some wise things to say, but that column of desiring beautiful women is the worst advice I’ve seen. Never cede your dreams for you risk losing your soul.

    Redford says that there does in fact exist ‘leagues’, a type of genetic (or social) aristocracy. Just as one would love crumbs and blobs of fat if you were starving, Redford compares overweight women to absolutely no women (taking a page out of the ‘How to Love Fat Bloated Hags’, a sub-genre of the worst relationship books).
    Redford then says… Wait! I will let him speak for himself:

    "By that I mean no matter how great you think you are, or how deserving you feel you may be, the real world put you back in your place and gave you a reality check. You eventually accept it, adjust to it and learn to appreciate and enjoy your Honda. You also learn rather quickly that a Honda can take you to the exact same places a Mercedes can take you to."

    Now for those of you who are cheering his words as “Wonderful!” and “Brilliant!”, I ask only for a full actualization of his advice.

    Let us place Redford in front of a custodian. Speak, Redford:

    “How are you! You may think that you can do better but the real world puts you in your place and gives you a reality check. You must accept it, adjust to it and learn to appreciate and enjoy your custodial duties.”

    And if the custodian responds, “I know I can do better,” what would Redford say? Quiet! Let us hear him:

    “If you were starving, would you scoff at your work? No! You would get on your hands and knees and thank God for your fortune. You also learn that a custodian’s paycheck feeds and clothes you just as any other paycheck would.”

    This ‘advice’ is called Settling for Mediocrity. If you do it with women, why not use it for every other avenue of your life? Mediocrity in the pursuit for a splinter of joy is no joy at all. For me, the pursuit of the dream is the joy.

    The letter writer did admit that he was physically overweight. But that does not mean he has to settle and cede his dreams. (I for one would not want a Mercedes or a very nice car since I know it would be stolen. But if you want a Mercedes, just go get one. There are no limits to what we can accomplish.)

    A friend of mine is also faced in a similar situation. He is twenty six, lives with his parents, works at the same grocery store for more then half a decade, has no long term plans for the future, doesn’t work out, and demands a beautiful woman. Obviously, he is caught in a bubble of fantasy.

    There is nothing wrong with going for high standards. But, there is a catch. It is this catch, when not obeyed, will keep you in that bubble of fantasy. In fact, Shakespeare has saying on it in which he says…

    “The catch, Pook. Get to the catch.”

    Very well. Here it is:

    The high standards you apply to your desires must be applied to yourself.

    Do you want a woman who is not overweight? Then you must eliminate your overweight. Do you want a woman who is intellectually brilliant? Then you must hit the books, read the classics, think, and expand your mind. Do you want a woman who is athletic? Then you too must become athletic.

    Try, if you want, to get a woman who is better then you in these traits. You may or may not succeed. But only demand that which you can reflect as well. This forces you on the path of self-improvement.

    Let me tell you a story. In my late Nice Guy phase, I fell infatuated with this girl. (Yeah, not uncommon. I know.) And like every Nice Guy, I dreamed of our blissful future. When I would get around her, I become very tense with butterflies in my stomach. Oh, how I dreamed about her! More important, I dreamed about us. So I eventually bit the bullet and asked her out. Guess what her response was?

    No.

    No.

    She said no! My soul buckled and I was literally crushed.

    Later, when I shrugged off that Nice Guyness, I was looking for a girlfriend. I thought a break came when a girl, a bit homely, had fallen in love with me a few months later. I thought, “Should I go for her?” Then I realized, “NO!” (Later, I realized that she and my crush were good friends. I eventually found out my crush tried to ‘set us up’.) I knew I could do better. And I did.

    By focusing on my interests, on my goals, on my improvement, everything changed. Other girls started to take an interest in me. Soon, I became the biggest mystery. My ‘crush’ is bewildered for her friends have the hots for me and older women say, “How I wish I were twenty years younger!” I became the guy the girls talked about when they were alone. And she had placed me in the ‘average’ category. Ha!

    Of course, I lost all attraction for her. I felt embarrassed about my past self. How could I get so whipped by a chick I hardly talked to? Now it doesn’t matter, for I have the mindset that I’m going to win the world.

    Perhaps you can relate to the story. But the point is that I disagree with Redford in this: The fault is not in the standards; it is ourselves. The failure is not in our high standards; it is failing to apply those standards in ourselves.

    There IS an aristocracy. But it is not an aristocracy of genetics; it is an aristocracy of WILL and PASSION. Name any name in history, any grand person in present, and see if it was their DRIVE that got them where they are. There is no lottery of life. The leagues you see are the ones you create in your own mind. Anyone can get a beauty. Hell, even Voltaire had the audacity to say, “Give me ten minutes of talk and I shall bed the Queen of France.”

    Aim high! And as each standard increases, so does yourself. In this manner, you benefit from your fantasy for now it is tethered to reality, yanking you forward in your proper destiny.

    Aim high! And behold, for everything shall become new. The women you were lusting for earlier will seem lowly, for you have been on the course of self-improvement while they have not. You worked out; they remained scrawny. You read; they wasted their time. You saved your money and pulled yourself up; they are locked in debt.

    Aim high! For Redford says, “Your life depends on it,” and he is more correct then ever, but not in how he means it.

    Here is your choice: settle for mediocrity or aim high. The former is simple, can occur right now, and only requires the selling of your dreams. The latter demands rigor, the higher you aim the more rigorous, but your dreams can come true.

    Aim high! For Strindberg says, “I dream, therefore I exist.” For to dream is to become.

    ------------------
    Pook
    "As you think, you shall become."
    "The biggest risk you can take is not to risk at all."


    [This message has been edited by Pook (edited 11-15-2001).]
     
    2 people like this.
  2. IntermediateDonJuaner

    IntermediateDonJuaner Master Don Juan

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    Very well said here,Pook!

    But there's one thing I don't understand. Why aim-SO-high? Sometimes we need to use our common sense to judge our own ability. Of course, we all want high standard girlfriends, but are we capable enough of finding one?

    Perhaps we should aim-MODERATELY-high than aiming-TOO-high so we won't feel that bad and disappointed when we failed.! I think most LOVE DOCTORS will say the same like Bryan RedField. Doc Love always mentioned that we men should try lowering our expectation in order to ease our job in finding a gf.

    Sometimes I agree with that,sometimes I don't. Cause I feel people with low-ambitious are people that don't achieve success. That's why I think aiming-MODERATELY-high is better than aiming-TOO-high or aiming-TOO-low.


    Agree with me Pook? [​IMG]
     
  3. Rapala

    Rapala New Member

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    Can we ever aim too high?

    No
    No
    No
    No

    … NO!

    A common misconception running through many people’s heads is that there is a limit as to what a person can achieve. I ask, why? Why can someone not push himself a little harder to achieve what he wants? The happy fact is, is that he CAN!

    There are no leagues!
    “If a goal is out of one’s league then no amount of hard work can help one reach that goal… right?”

    Sure, that is very true… assuming these leagues exist. But in reality the leagues only exist in the minds of the lazy. Its much easier to not try when you can tell yourself the goal is unattainable. Why not just settle for less? For if the pursuit is hopeless, what stops me from sitting on the couch, eating Doritos, and watching Yan Can Cook until I happen to stumble upon a fat slob of a woman that leaves a trail of slime from an unknown orifice wherever she goes and accepts me because I’m much like her? Hell, it’s easier, and she is in my league!

    The scale that you aim for is limitless and not bound by predestined “leagues”. It ranges from the depths of ugliness to the pinnacles of beauty and covers everything in between. Aiming as high as possible allows you to choose your destiny, rather than hoping someone else chooses you. You do not look at where you are on the scale and choose someone around you, nor do you look up the scale and ask one who is higher to come down to you. You move up the scale and choose anyone and anything you want along the way. Nobody is stuck on the scale, and anybody can move freely up OR down the it.

    “Why then, are so many people in the bowels of this scale and so few up top? “

    Is it because I have been lying to you and there really are barriers to their progress up the scale? No, it’s because they don’t try hard enough! They do not put enough effort into their endeavor to move up.

    <Pook>
    “The fault is not in the standards; it is ourselves. The failure is not in our high standards; it is failing to apply those standards in ourselves.”
    </Pook>

    No standard is so high that it cannot be attained by a lot of hard work on oneself.

    In conclusion, Pook is right [​IMG]

    Good luck,
    Rapala


    [This message has been edited by Rapala (edited 11-15-2001).]

    [This message has been edited by Rapala (edited 11-15-2001).]

    [This message has been edited by Rapala (edited 11-15-2001).]
     
  4. CHALENGE GUY

    CHALENGE GUY Senior Don Juan

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    Excellent post.

    Self improvement is the key.

    If men cease to believe that they will one day become gods then they will surely become worms.
     
  5. BushHound

    BushHound Don Juan

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    This is my first post, although I've been reading the forum for a month or so. Pook, you hit another one right on the head man. This post should go straight into the DJ Bible.

    Self Improvement allows Men to aim as high as they desire. All you gotta do is get off your ass and do it.
     
  6. gettingthere

    gettingthere Don Juan

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    A lot of young women are doing exactly that - aiming high. They are looking for older guys (late 20s, early 30s) who look good, dress well, have big degrees (MBA, law) from big schools.

    I know several girls with backgrounds as humble as mine. They like me as a friend because we have similar backgrounds, but when it comes to relationships they are aiming high.

    As a result they spare no expense on the finest clothes, shoes, hair, and cosmetics. Are these girls fundamentally better than me? No, we are very similar in fact. They, however, have undertaken massive self-improvement projects that are designed to make them attractive to the best possible man.

    I think a lot of women will reject you not so much because they don't like you or think there is something wrong with you, but because they are simply looking a lot higher and you don't even come close. These girls want to improve their social class, and they do so by dressing, acting, and being like they are already there.
     
  7. Gipper

    Gipper Master Don Juan

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    Wow. I never thought I would get to comment on a post by the immortal Pook, the man who formed me into the DJ I am today.

    As usual, your words shine like a beacon in the night to the rest of us.

    Welcome back!

    The Respectful Gipper
     
  8. Don the Legend

    Don the Legend Master Don Juan

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    Nice post Pook!


    ---------------------------
    Hey Gip,

    I haven't talked to you lately. What's up?

    Legend

    ------------------
    "As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."... Ben Hogan

    "The key to happiness in your life is "Your Life",... Don the Legend
     
  9. Gipper

    Gipper Master Don Juan

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    Don!

    I posted over on your "Cats" post.

    Me? Things are great! I've got dates with two different girls: Girl "T", who you already know about, and now Girl "S", who is an ex-flight attendant and looks almost exactly like the blond chick from La Femme Nikita (Peta Wilson?). Woo Hoo!

    I had lunch with Girl "S" today and worked my DJ magic. Plenty of good times, romantic questions with a splash of kino to top it all off.

    Now comes the hard part of juggling two girls at the same time! Cross your fingers!

    Otherwise, I'm busy at work and trying to prepare for a cruise in December.

    Gipper
     
  10. Don the Legend

    Don the Legend Master Don Juan

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    Thanks again. I asked a follow up to your advice. I appreciate your help.

    Life is great isn't it? I happy for you gip. Both girls sound like winners. Have fun with both. [​IMG]

    Sounds like you did everything by the book! Congrats man!! [​IMG]


    I will. I don't think you need any luck. You are a great DJ who has the skills to tackle anything. If you get any curve balls that you need help, let us know. I will try to help anyway I can.

    Have a blast on your trip. Let us know before you go.

    Thanks my friend,

    Legend


    ------------------
    "As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."... Ben Hogan

    "The key to happiness in your life is "Your Life",... Don the Legend
     
  11. HB_Hunter

    HB_Hunter Senior Don Juan

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    ooooooh....a hell of a boost as always From Master Pook [​IMG]


    so hey tell me either challenge guy or pook about the most inspirin books u've read or sites u've visited...
     
  12. Brazilian_Blues_Boy

    Brazilian_Blues_Boy Master Don Juan

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    bump it
     
  13. thecraftylefty

    thecraftylefty Senior Don Juan

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    Rapala is right. If you do not aim high then you might as well not aim for anything. Each individual mind has its own limitations, and those limitations vary from person to person. But those limitations can only surface if you let them. So you are solely responsible for every action you take and don't take. If you choose to have no boundaries, like me, then you are an always-improving person whose limits do not exist.

    Also good to see some oldies like Don the Legend and Gipper back.

    "If your rap is strong it can't go wrong."

    thecraftylefty
     
  14. Master Of The World

    Master Of The World Don Juan

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    I have never seen



    Great post Pook !

    During several years I have been following Doc Love's advice picking up hot women and it has worked amazingly!!!! I now meet chicks everywhere!


    http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_100/127b_relationship_expert.html

    I have never read that Doc Love tells guys to lower their BEAUTY expectations on women to get a g/f.

    What he says is that for a LTR her IL and her attitude are the two main thing you will need to be successful over the long houl.
    He tell guys that they not only marry her looks, but also her attitude.
     
  15. Nocturnal

    Nocturnal Master Don Juan

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    YES!!!!

    Aim very high, and proceed in steps. For example, say you want perfect teeth. But presently they are the most crooked, yellow, rotten teeth anyone has ever seen. Imagining yourself having perfectly white, straight, healthy teeth would seem like miles away. But first you choose to get braces, and after a few years they are straight but still rotten and yellow. Once the braces are gone you decide to brush more. After some time your teeth are now healthy and straight, but they still have a yellow tinge so you decide to get them bleached. You have reached your goal that seemed so impossibly distant before.
     
  16. Kwah

    Kwah Master Don Juan

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    Amen Brutha's!!

    Nothing is so far beyond us that we cannot achieve it dare we try!!

    For the attempt alone is what defines us as gods amongst men. Having the courage to fail on the path to victory sets us apart.
     
  17. hitop

    hitop Senior Don Juan

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    These women are loosely defined as legal prostitutes.
     
  18. whatshouldido2

    whatshouldido2 Don Juan

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    Pook, what do you do for a living?
     
  19. Mack Of All Trades

    Mack Of All Trades Master Don Juan

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    Damn good motivation, pook. Ive always had the drive to improve, but this just pushes it into overdrive.
     
  20. Ol'BlueEyes

    Ol'BlueEyes Senior Don Juan

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    This all reminds me of an old adage:

    Women always marry up.

    Thus, by bettering yourself, you're "upping" yourself.
     

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