A warning to those of you with kids, please read.

[cactus3178]

I know this is off topic, but I really need a place to vent, gentlemen. I'm posting in the mature forum because it's the most appropriate place more than likely.

Today has been the most f*cked up day of my life to date, for sure.

If you have children, be vigilant of who takes care of them.

Today, I filed a police report with the county sheriff's department for child molestation. It happened to my daughter at a trusted babysitter's house. She's 9 years old, guys. There's a full on investigation now into this situation.

These are people I trusted, knew for 5 years, and it happened. It f*cking happened, and I'm sick to my stomach.

Thank God it wasn't full on sexual intercourse, but still.....from what I've talked about in the last 6 hours, I don't think I have any tears left.

Point being, please guys, please be careful of who watches your kids.

This sh*t hits them harder than it hits us.

Seriously, I love my daughter more than I love anybody on this planet, and I can't believe what happened.

Don't let this happen to you. Trust me, it sucks.

I don't even feel alive right now.

 

[penkitten]

what happened and how did you find out?

 

[BBX]

Wow... this is some serious stuff. I was riding my bike through the rich part of the town I live in and saw this shady looking nanny/babysitter with a little kid and I woundered are the kids parents out of their mind, its ridiculous. Point being, its unreal as to what can happen just like that, I feel for you cactus. beat that fvckers face in:box:. Is she ok?

 

[S1NN3R]

I am so sorry for your situation. There is absolutely no excuse, no reason, no possible exlaination that can ever make something like this ok. Murder, robbery, even terrorism, when viewed from the other guy's side can possibly make sense to them at least, but this is unforgiveable. For once, I don't even really have words, just that if you need anything, PM me and I'll see what I can do.

This sort of offense should be punishable by a mandatory, "insert offender's genitals into a nest of baby scorpions once a day until death" sentence.

 

[BBX]

This sort of offense should be punishable by a mandatory, "insert offender's genitals into a nest of baby scorpions once a day until death" sentence.

A kitchen knife would be so much better....slice his d!ck

 

[Potbelly]

dude this is horrible. I'll keep this in mind, but until then, may rapist/molester fockers go to hell and die by sinner's method suggested above.

Hope you get through this ok man...best of luck to your family.

 

[S1NN3R]

A kitchen knife would be so much better....slice his d!ck

Over too quickly.

Actually, just letting him go to prison would probably be satisfaction for me. I have visited prisons many times as part of my other job. Inmates do not take kindly to child molesters. Just pay the guards $20 each to let every single inmate in the place know what he did, and in one week he'l never eat solid food again. Criminals are strange like that.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

Cactus - I am so sorry this has happened. Unfortunately it happens way to often these days.

As you roll thru emotions of sickness, shock, anger, depressions, etc... Focus on her and the help she may need.

She will need some counseling and support from someone other then you. I know that may be hard to hear, but she does. She will open up to a counselor easier then you.

She probably feels she has done something wrong, she sees you hurting and she can and will blame herself. Don't let her feel your sadness and anger is a result of her actions.

Children are very resilient and feisty, given the proper tools and route, she will use her strengths to build herself back up and be a happy, secure and confident child.

Check with the police or hospital social services to find the support offered in your area. Many, many times these services are free.

You are her hero, you are her idol and you are her 'superman' and she needs you to be that right now!

 

[cactus3178]

It wasn't the worst it coulda been, but still, I feel like a f*cked up parent.

This 'offender' was only a 13 year old boy....but from what I've heard so far from what my own daughter has had to say was that there was hand and mouth contact, and I seriously feel like throwing up typing this right now.

Pen,

I found out because another little girl came forward and said something about this young man. And this thing happened not only to mine, but unfortunately to another little girl on two different occasions.

What the **** is wrong with this world?

Seriously, I fear for my little girl's future. Is this gonna make her hate guys....will it make her prone to being more sexually promiscuous....

WTF?

I'm gonna seriously flip the **** out.

What can I do? my hands are tied....I can't very well shoot a 13 year old kid, ya know.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

What can I do? my hands are tied....I can't very well shoot a 13 year old kid, ya know.

No, you can't, that's what friends are for...


You need to focus on her now and showing her that she is not at fault.

How was this 13 yr old related to the babysitter you trusted?

Is the other little girl parents pressing charges?

 

[Skel]

sorry to hear that. My sister went through the same thing, not once but twice. Once by a teacher and once by a babysitter. You really dont know who to trust after that and its hard on the whole family. Im happy to say she is living a happy life and is married now. I wish the best to your daughter. she will get through it

 

[spider_007]

I'll probably be reamed out for saying this but:

how old is your doughter??

I remember back before I even started school playing "momy and dady" with a neigbourhood gurl my age. I don't think we ware more then five years old. I'm sure i'm not the only one. Gurls that age discover "them selfs" and sometimes will flash other people. It is noting sexual, its just that they are wearing a scurt and are excited they found something new about their body. it's the same with males, sometimes they refuse to put on their pants after a shower and wana run around the house haked. PARANTS NEED TO BE AWARE OF THIS AND CORECT THE CHILD AT THE FIRST SIGN OF IT. If the kids do this in public or in front of family friends, they risk being taken advantage of by very sick and descusting people.

If she is not crying about it, then she is not as damaged as you may think

Then there is the other side of the coin. CHILD RAPE. The people that do it are cowards and need to be shot or at the very least be trown in the same cell with "BUBA" for the rest of their lifves.

what is a 13 year old doing babysitting anyway??

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://dmoz.org/Society/Support_Groups/Sexual_Abuse/

 

[Desdinova]

Man, I'm so fvcking sorry to hear about this. It's a goddam sick and sad thing to deal with.

My ex was molested by a 13 year old boy. Consider yourself lucky that you found out about it quickly instead of years later after it has festered in her mind. You can get her help right away to deal with this issue before it gets worse.

An experience like this can really fvck a person up if it's not dealt with. However, since you know it happened, you can help your daughter through it.

You've got lots of good information in this thread already on getting counselling for her. Remember not to make this her entire life. Take her out for some fun. It's going to be stressful for her going through all of this and watching you deal with it.

Again, I'm fvcking sorry to hear this.

 

[ntssv]

I can't imagine the pain your feeling. I have a 13 year old girl and I get sick to my stomach and can even bring tears to my eyes when I just think about something like this happening to her. If it did happen I'm sure the feelings would be 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 fold.

If the boy was older I would tell you what I would do, but being 13, it's difficult.

All I can say is, be there for her, get counseling for her and yourself so you can deal with this is the most effeciant way.

Sorry to hear this!

 

[Wyldfire]

Oh my God cactus...I am SO sorry for your little girl, and for you and her Mom, and all of your family. This is so hard to face when something like this happens to your child. You automatically blame yourself and you feel like you failed your baby.

When my youngest son was only 5 years old a babysitter's son (he was 8) messed with my little boy. I had drilled into my kids' heads that I didn't care who it was...if anyone ever touched them in the wrong way or hurt them or made them touch or do anything to them to tell me immediately. I assured them that even if someone threatened them or intimidated them, I would never let those threats come true...that they had to tell me. My son came right to me and told me. We went right to the police station and filed a report. He was so brave. I made it clear to him that this was NOT shameful and he had no reason to feel embarassed or ashamed...that he did NOTHING wrong. It turns out that the boy who molested him had been raped by his own uncle and was acting out on other children. Thank God it wasn't as severe for my son as it could have been...no penetration of any kind. Part of my way of dealing with this was to talk to the boy's mother and tell her that I wanted him to get help for what happened to him. She was crushed as well.

I want to stress how important it is that you make sure your daughter does NOT feel shame and guilt for what has happened to her. It will make a HUGE difference in how she deals with it throughout her life. Talk about it openly with her and put on a brave face so she sees you are able to handle talking and aren't embarassed or ashamed. If you act like it's taboo to talk about, she will stuff it and it will hurt her so bad later.

When my son was 11 years old a neighborhood boy who had been raped by his uncle (different one) got embarassed and ashamed when another child teased him about it. My son jumped right in and told the boy what happened to him and said you have no reason to be ashamed or embarassed or feel guilty. You aren't the one who did that to yourself and anyone who tells you or tries to make you feel dirty is a moron and wrong. My son was already dealing with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and even with that he's still amazingly well adjusted. He does well in school, would probably test as a genius...he's extremely intelligent, has a very pretty and sweet girlfriend, many friends, is athletic, well liked and has not touched alcohol or drugs. He's a bit mouthy at times...but that's the worst of it.

The boy who was made to feel ashamed and told to not talk about it is messed up. He is off the hook, in so much trouble, on drugs, drinks, tries to kill himself, steals, wreaks havoc in school...he's a mess.

How you deal with this right now, as a parent, will determine how well your little baby copes from now on. Do it right, Daddy. If you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to PM me. Be strong, hang in there and if this was an adult who did this...push for the maximum punishment possible. Pedophiles can NOT be rehabilitated. Their urges NEVER change. If it was another child, try to have a little bit of compassion, because children who do this kind of thing are usually acting out because some very horrible things have been done to them. Again...don't hesitate to PM me if you want to talk.

 

[penkitten]

had this 13 yr old been molested by someone himself?
most 13 yr olds dont think about sex.


im very sorry to hear what happened. i will keep your daughter in my prayers.

 

[cactus3178]

That 13 year old kid was the little brother of my babysitter, who's 16. He's always come across as a well adjusted kid to me, never been abused a day in his life to my knowledge.

The other little girl's parents are pressing charges, as am I if they can come up with a formal charge for a 13 year old.

 

[Wyldfire]

That 13 year old kid was the little brother of my babysitter, who's 16. He's always come across as a well adjusted kid to me, never been abused a day in his life to my knowledge.

The other little girl's parents are pressing charges, as am I if they can come up with a formal charge for a 13 year old.

How they charge him will depend entirely upon his history. If he was sexually abused, then it's sadly somewhat normal for a child who hasn't come forward to act out in this way towards other children. If he has never been sexually abused, then his behavior is predatory...and he can probably be charged as an adult...depending on where this happened.

 

[dannowillbookem]

man this is so fuccked up. if i ever have kids im going to make it clear that they get the once of a lifetime chance to be totally excused for punching someones face in if they try to touch them wrongly.

god this stuff pisses me off