Flirty and funny

So many people use ****y and funny, and they do it badly. They come off as arogant. Go up to someone and call them ****y, they will most probably take it as an insult. Someone just posted that he told a girl that he is out of her league. Yes hes right on track, hes being ****y, but these kind of comments are really only going to set you back.

This is why i have come up with a new idea, be 'flirty and funny' just like before, you make her laugh, personaly this is somthing i am good at, thou i do understand not everyone can mange this. Well instead of making youself come off as arogant, flirt with her. I dont mean tell her how you are going to f*ck her tonight. I mean flirt very lightly, dont actualy come on to her.

What works well with this is acting disintrested, often holding back attention from her. When you flirt with a girl, but then act disintrested and do not make a move, it drives her crazy for you!

Just remember, that you should never go as far as saying something which gives her power. If you tell her you want to get with her, she is in a position of power. If you tell her "are you always this cute, or is it only around guys that you like?" its going to come off well.

As a disclaimer, i would like to point out that you can not start a conversation with being flirty. You must get her comfortable, it might only take 5 minutes of talking to her, but untill you get her comfortable, flirting could make her push you away.

-Introduction
-get her comfortable/laughing
-mix light flirting in to the conversation (dont take it to far)
-confuse her by not pursuing her further

Its as simple as that, thou it is also important to say the right things. Do not brag/try to impress her.

So from now on its not C&F its F&F.

This has merit.

Rock on brother.

This is why i have come up with a new idea, be 'flirty and funny' just like before, you make her laugh, personaly this is somthing i am good at, thou i do understand not everyone can mange this. Well instead of making youself come off as arogant, flirt with her. I dont mean tell her how you are going to f*ck her tonight. I mean flirt very lightly, dont actualy come on to her.

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You posted this 15 minutes before I got two threads posted on how dating isn't only for relationships and how effective teasing works. (Look in Discussion)

C&F COMBINED with F&F is the best way to go. Being an ass/jerk, but still being fun and flirty just pays dividends in the end. Persay, I made her scared/mad at me for pulling up to a group of people, so I was a jerk :woo:, but at the same time, I teased her about it, opened a cashier on how she'll forgive me and moved onto the next topic.

So really, it should be CF&F (****y, flirty and funny). It works wonders.

Docs, you are certainly right about the importance of teasing. F&F and teasing would work well side by side with out getting in each others way, obviously both with teasing and flirting, there is a limit.

I however do not class teasing as being ****y since ****y is defined as 'overly self-confident or self-assertive' and teasing is defined as 'the act of playfully disturbing another person, either with words or with actions. In mild cases, and especially when it is reciprocal, it is essentially a form of playing...'

I asume the reason you mixed the two up is because your style of teasing is probably (im guessing) by making a comment about her realative to yourself. This can in fact also be flirting, depending on the comment. Thus it is possible to flirt, tease and be ****y all in one, thou if i where you i would use such a comment spairingly.

I'm a naturally ****y person, so that doesn't help my confusion. However, I'm also a naturally playful person and I will tease whenever suitable, and it nearly all the time promotes a great response. To top it off, I'm working KINO into the mix and it is working out very well, I'm not getting rejection signs as much.

My style of teasing is ever-expansive. Teasing in relation to myself, I don't use that one much actually, unless it's along the lines of "that was stupiditer then what I did.." I focus more on event and past experience teasing, where I will bring up stupid little facts from the past if they reoccur. And of course, I have a never-ending supply of positions to tease from because if there's something new, it just fuels everything (the reason why I love blond-types so much ).

You are correct in saying that teasing is not ****y, however being ****y can be taken as teasing. It takes a good amount of confidence/on-the-spot thinking to be able to constantly be able to deliver effective teasing lines, and since teasing and flirting go hand in hand, being able to accomplish all 3 of the bases is more advantagous then just being F&F. By developing a ****y style (I really hate that word, I want to put outgoing there), you can surely create situations, crack a joke at some random person, anything really.

Being able to be THAT outgoing amplifies the basis of F&F, and it is a huge confidence boost when you find she's laughing and punching you at the most simple things, and you can apply simple KINO without any fear and with great effect.

C&F is all lines, a joke, a comment. F&F is mixing in flirting (a must) and a bit of funny, but CF&F gives you the attitude, the outgoing nature you'll require and the extra balls to really make F&F do it's handiwork. At the end of the night, she's had a awesome time, you're damn happy with yourself and the date lasts more then a few days because she will remember by direct influence that you were this outgoing funny guy that she can flirt freely with, all big things to a girl.

true say mate,

ive tryed c&f and it only works to get her to like you... thats it..same as flirty and funny... the next day she bumps into another guy then she will be totally into him aswell..what counts is how much she likes you and by being ****y and funny your not going to build an intimate connection. however,what you say is true for some and for some its completely crap. iv esculated beyond attraction with a chick without busting her balls once.without flirting..without c&f.

its good yeah, i agree... but the amount of emphasis the some of you put on c&f is stupid..its what some people ever talk about... if you want to build attraction then do it...but when its there dont keep doing it for petes sake, theres no need.. girls wont extra attracted to you each time your ****y and funny. if anything they get used to it and get bord with it.
they either are attracted or they arnt and iv learned that down to exp. now, heres the thing..the biggest mistake i made for ages was to keep building attraction and doing that only.. i wouldnt move up a level or turn the heat up.. i wouldnt build a sexual connection with kino, neither would i build trust or intimacy...i would just keep being c&f hoping that she may just get so attracted that she will just ripp my cloths off and i wouldent need to do anything else...
now i realised that was becuase sometimes we tend to convince ourselves that we are right in how we do things when really we could actually be doing them a little bit better.. the reason denile, selective thinking and disbelief exists is for one reason only;
we hide away from our fears, it doesnt matter how much you read or how much you learn about the theorys of attraction you will only really benafit from what your reading if you face up to your fears...you know what that means?
facing up to your fears means evertime you get shy, SMACK YOURSELF in the mouth and a get a grip!!! facing up to your fears means using the attraction you create with your f&f to get jiggy...

I can't read any of that -_-
Half of that was bashing C&F from what I read. I totally agree that you can't go solo C&F however, that was a good point.

facing up to your fears means using the attraction you create with your f&f to get jiggy...

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I am going to assume you are agreeing with my CF&F? Please confirm.

Attraction is not a logical thing. The simple act of ignoring a girl can drive her crazy for you. Spending time with her will make her want to keep you, just like it might be hard for you to get rid of a beloved car of yours, unless of course its replacement is much better.

The reason you can attract a girl with out doing anything could be due to your looks, or your social status e.g. 'leader'

Whilst i have been very ****y in the past and still can be, i do it to be funny, girls have still thought i am arogant (meaning i must have over done it) but the important part is to make the laugh, because if you do it at face value, then you are bragging and girls will see you as low status.

Look at the image you are trying to portray. Now think back to a post that was made about not asking too many questions. Do you notice that they fit in well together aswell. The guy that has the girl laughing, and teases her but also flirts, this really suave guy, is not the same guy which asks lots of pointless questions.

Only ask about her if it is relevant to the conversation, otherwise you are no longer this suave guy!

There are so many points like this that i have noticed from looking at what my freinds do as they talk, e.g. If someone makes a funny comment which is not complety correct, do not be the person to point out why it is in fact wrong.

Listen out in conversations and you will pick up on these points. If you are the 'cool' guy in the conversation, its worth a lot with girls! As mystery says, its about demonstrating higher value.

check_mate_kid_uk said:

Attraction is not a logical thing. The simple act of ignoring a girl can drive her crazy for you. Spending time with her will make her want to keep you, just like it might be hard for you to get rid of a beloved car of yours, unless of course its replacement is much better.

The reason you can attract a girl with out doing anything could be due to your looks, or your social status e.g. 'leader'

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Excellent post checkmate.

I understand what you're trying to get across. i think everyone has gone through this, except being able to realize it is a different story. Going through this is easier understood than explaining it. it's contradictory to what most people expect from creating attraction.

Let me try to help to clarify this...this involves:
A) sexual tension (through silence, and perhaps occasional EC)
B) sexual frustration (isnt he interested in me? is there something wrong w/me?)
C) sexual arousal (why does he choose not to talk to me. his silence is very mysterious/alluring)
C) wanting what they cant have (your attention)

This shares a similar concept to the 'strong silent' type, certain women swoon over. Anyway i think it is somewhat silly sometimes, when you dont open your mouth your value is deemed higher, and they build all this tension/expectation from you. And when you do open your mouth, it in one way or another destroys their image of you. Or can increase depending what you say.
im sure every guy out there has met this 'silent' type of women, basically it's very similar. But imagine positioning yourself into this role.

But i agree with you, you must have something giong for you in order for it to work. Looks, social status, importance (social proof...talk to everyone BUT her).

BRAVO, CHECK_MATE!

That's something I tried yesterday morning and it worked wonders.
I'm into this new flirty/funny thing. ****y/funny is just something that is useful to quit being seen as a nice guy, but when you're past that, it just makes you seen as a jerk.

great article!

ScrewIt said:

Let me try to help to clarify this...this involves:
A) sexual tension (through silence, and perhaps occasional EC)
B) sexual frustration (isnt he interested in me? is there something wrong w/me?)
C) sexual arousal (why does he choose not to talk to me. his silence is very mysterious/alluring)
C) wanting what they cant have (your attention)

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I have noticed that, as you mention, frustrating the girl by witholding your attention is of upmost importance. whilst it is not part of F&F as F&F shows the girl what kind of person you are, it makes the girl want you. Frustrating the girl is used in conjunction to this becuase wants the girl wants you, frustrating her will make her want you more.

P.S. Recently i have prefered to simplfy the process. Rather then thinking of diffrent tactics, i prefer to think of attraction as a very simple process created by physical attraction and your social skills and status (and what other people think of you) and amplified by making her work for you.

Originally posted by ADONE
That's something I tried yesterday morning and it worked wonders.
I'm into this new flirty/funny thing. ****y/funny is just something that is useful to quit being seen as a nice guy, but when you're past that, it just makes you seen as a jerk.

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As am I. I believe if you've been a super AFC 'nice guy' all of your life, trying to phase straight into C+F is going to be difficult due to the fact that you will almost appear incongruent. Your tone and body language will somehow appear out of synch and women will pick up on this.

Another important point many people fail to consider is the fact that if you start acting all C+F around the people who have known you as the aforementioned super AFC 'nice guy' for years, your behaviour is going to seem strange to them and they will indeed begin to wonder "what's up with the act?" The old addage of "fake it til you make it" will blow you out of the water in this situation - as "faking it" will only work if others DON'T KNOW you're faking it. Appearing as both ****y and insincere is the easiest way to come across as a jerk. If that's your goal, go for it, being a jerk will get you laid, but be prepared to lose some respect from friends along the way.

C+F can be fantastic in new circles (new job etc) where you can effectively implement a brand new personality from scratch. Then it doesn't matter if you overdo it slightly - they'll just think to themselves "that's just his style, he has a tendency to push the boundaries."