Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Respect

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
I was watching farther of the pride today, now i know its just a cartoon but i saw somthing intresting in it today. Their is that aparent alpha male, and well, his wife joins a womens group and after a few days of being out the whole time he draws the line tell her she is not going out, but he is ussualy soft with her so she just laughs back in his face.

Now you can forget aobut the example, here is a new scenario, people do not see you as alpha. They do not listen to you. People will listen to you for two reasons, either they fear you, or they respect you.

If you want them to fear you, you need to give them reason to, you dont want to because they will resent it, dont try and be a bullie, you will be resented, its not worth people listining to you if its out of fear because it is at the expense of freindship, they wont like you.

You have to get them to respect you, getting people to respect you is one of the most important things to do.

The first thing to do is look at the people who you respect, what is it they have that most others do not.

The first thing i have come up with is that humour and respect have no relation, most people that are respected are funny yet some funny people are not respected, this is because being funny is an important quality and so the same people that are respected have this quality but it does not itself do anything to contribute to respect directly (although it contributes to qualitys that do gain respect) as not all funny people are respected at all.

I also noticed that if other people respect someone, you will be more lightly to quickly gain respect for them, this could be a case of you follow the pack but i think it is fair to say that people with a lot of freinds get respect. from a new commer pretty quickly.

With respect you can tell someone "lets go to this place now" and they will follow. So think, who can tell people "come with me" and they will do so, i think you are more lightly to respect people you look up to for what ever reason, this means that being good at e.g. sports, will lead to being respected, infact a skill or talent you have will make people respect you more.

Confidence, and knowing what you want will defintly get you a lot of respect.

Charisma will get you a lot of respect, it could be the biggest factor, it helps to smile a lot aswell. this includes smiling, listiining to people, complimenting them where a compliment is due and gernayl apreciating them.

A large physical apperance ie muscular will get you respect, especialy if you are strong yet you are nice and do not intimidate people with your size.

Now we know what makes up a respected person we need to be able to fit it all together to use it. There are two things you need to be able to do at this stage, the easier is to get people to respect you after a first impresion, the harder is to get people that know you and may like you to actuly respect you.

So you have just met someone, the first step is to just be confident, smile really just be complety sure of yourself. If they other person asks what you do then tell them, but dont start bringing in your hobbys in to the conversation at every possible point you can find.

Being funny, complimenting them sincerly listining to them geniunly and showing intrest in them is all part of charisma, it is very important for respect.

Show them you are a man that knows what he wants because how can some one respect your descision if you do not know what you want yourself.

There is 1 more thing to remember, do not take advantage of respect do not abuse it to get things out of them, soldiers in an army respect and listen to their commanding officers etc but if they are asked to do unreasonable things the respect will turn in to resentment.

People will only respect you if You use it fairly do not start asking stuff of them they are just not prepaired to do, asking nicely is very important and dont demand it ever, dont say do this, ask them "would you mind doing... blah blah blah please" "why dont we go to...." i think you get the picture now.

Here comes the far harder task of convincing people you already know to respect you. I think the first step is to start building up charismatic qualitys such as complimenting sincerly when a compliment is due, listining to them, smiling, showing genuine intrest in them etc. Doing this will also get you freinds, being funny will help but its not a necessity.

This may not sound to hard but do not under estimate it, it takes a long time to change an oppinion about you that has been set in stone. Once you show has charismatic you are and people look up to you, if you havent already then start portraying your confidence, do this in your body language, and stop looking for aproval dont finish every sentance with "right?"

Once you exhibit all this, people will respect you. Once again remember to not take advantage, the people with respect are never bossy they never whine and complain. If you do say no to them they will not be afraid to go on with out you. I think one of the most important things is to be your own man, just because your freind decided im going to catch a bus home now does not mean you should aswell. If the group says no we dont want to go to the shops yet, then you can go alone.

The last point is that you give a little you get a little, ever notice that those same people that are respected and every one listens to will ussualy give you more respect then the average person will, dont asume people just give give give, for nothing. The people with the most respect also respect the average person a lot more then any one else does, i finaly understand the exact meaning of the quote " the measure of a great man is how he treats a small man"

The last paragraph has brought me to conclude that the reason people respect you is actuly hugely dependant on the fact that you respect them. You will not show them as much respect as they show you but because no one else respects them as much, when you start showing those people respect, when know one else does, then those people will respect you as know one else respects them as much as you do.
 
Joined
Nov 6, 2003
Messages
4,281
Reaction score
8
Location
Wisconsin. USA
Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
.... his wife joins a womens group and after a few days of being out the whole time he draws the line tell her she is not going out, but he is ussualy soft with her so she just laughs back in his face..
Don't keep company with disrespectful hos - problem solved!!!
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
I think you are missing the point, maybe i did not explain my motives for writing this article very well, but im sure you realise how important it is that every one respects you, and this is how to go about it.
 

WesCottII

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2004
Messages
1,353
Reaction score
11
Location
Nottingham
I beg to differ.

The only people I care who respect me are; My family, my friends, my workmates and my girl. I don't give a monkeys if that guy in school who I never talked to respects me, and i aint gonna waste my trying to make him.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
wescott you are right you wont get respect just for respecting someone else, the point is, even after you have done everything else you still need to respect other people to get respect yourself.
 

Jay-X

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2004
Messages
1,337
Reaction score
1
Location
Italy
i hadn't noticed this thread before today, but i really like it...

good work check mate!
 

whistler

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2004
Messages
634
Reaction score
5
Location
New York
check_mate_kid,

This is a superb post.

This site should be filled with insightful, helpful posts like this.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
I recently found somthing else to add, and that is that you must be human, you can not be perfect.

Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! - Homer simpson

Has it ever anoyed you, or can you imagine it anoying you if someone is always just too happy. Like there is somthing he should not be happy about happening and he is still really cheerfull, thats what the quote above demonstrates. If you are to perfect you will just annoy people.

This does not mean be negative and it does not mean abuse people or critisize them, it simply means, do not always hide feelings of ahte. You need to be very positive most of the time, but you are human like the rest of us so you show signs of dislike to certain things at certain times, do not be afraid to say "work sucked today" because if you are to cheerfull it will get on peoples nerves.
 
Joined
Apr 25, 2005
Messages
37
Reaction score
0
Location
Tumbling down the rabbit hole
Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
Has it ever anoyed you, or can you imagine it anoying you if someone is always just too happy. Like there is somthing he should not be happy about happening and he is still really cheerfull, thats what the quote above demonstrates. If you are to perfect you will just annoy people.
Who cares if you get on peoples nerves by being in a good mood all the time, if they cant deal with having a good time and being in a good mood then screw them. The only reason they get annoyed at you because your happy all the time is because they are miserable and they want you to be miserable with them. Jealous bastards.

People suck! Ive said this for along time and its apparently true the older I get. People are selfish, though theyll never admit it, and if there unhappy they want you to be unhappy with them so they have someone to be miserable with, someone to relish in there agony, to discuss how unfair life is, to make them feel better because they arent doing anything to better themselves either.

I say F.ck Em!!

If you cant be happy with me because your life sucks, get away from me Ive got better thing to do.

And to quote someone you might believe.

Originally posted by Pook
To live is to fight, for this world is but a hurricane of challenges all aimed at you. If it ever becomes too much, if you get down on your life, you will look for encouragement.

And you will not find it
The rest of that thread found here
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
Rabbit. The thing is you can and should be in a good mood when it is right, but not when it is wrong, if you can not say anything bad when you should it gets on peoples nerves, you say f*ck them, but if people dont accept you then what do you have, i dont care if it was pook that said it because it is hte most important thing, if people do not accept you, you are nothing.

Now the people, they may be anoyed because they are jelous, but maybe they are right to be anoyed, after all you are faking happines, you are faking bieng cheerfull. Positive is good but when you over do it then you are being fake and i am saiyng never over do it people will get anoyed and they have a right to.

NO ONE is happy when somthing bad happens to them so why pretend to be thats the point i am making, to be respected, you must have people liking you, if you are cheerfull when you should not be, people will realise how fake it is, which is why it would annoy them.
 
Joined
Apr 25, 2005
Messages
37
Reaction score
0
Location
Tumbling down the rabbit hole
Well ya, if your at a funeral do not walk around smiling and being falsely happy, thats not only annoying but also inconsiderate but if im at work and my being in a good mood everyday at work bothers someone then f.ck them.

There are always exceptions to the rule, I wont, nor was I arguing that.

So your point is that you feel you need to be agreable with someone in a bad mood because you think your going to annoy them by being happy. Are you still being true to yourself then?

Or perhaps this,

Why do I need to be unhappy because your father died? I will be polite and help to console you but I am not going to be sad with or for you and carry that sense of pain with me through my day when I was in a good mood prior to finding out and have nothing to be unhappy with in my life.

Now tell me this, when should you say something bad? When 9/11 happened? Does it need to be something that happens on such a large scale or are there smaller occurences that you should be angry about because its only right be?

I really think the term your looking for is "Be considerate"

If Im in a bad mood I withdraw my self a little bit from society till I can regain my good mood. I dont feel the need to bestow my anger on others as it is inconsiderate to ask someone else to correct your problems.

And this does not come from Pooks post, I only used that example since my post count is so low.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
i dont mean be sad because some one else is, i mena more like, if you have just been majorly dissed by someone for example, you dont need to start crying about it but dont be all cheerfull, if you for example dont like a certain thing you dont have to always pretend you like it so much, when people are perfect it gets on other peoples nerves.
 
Joined
Apr 25, 2005
Messages
37
Reaction score
0
Location
Tumbling down the rabbit hole
I see your point but I think it has a different meaning then you placed on it.

Your saying that if you get dissed by someone you should be upset and show that you are human, right?

Well I think thats wrong, thats just a societal rule that people push because they dont know how to let things go. Is that the way of the Don Juan?

Why do you care if someone dissed you? Being upset by it only shows that you are the weaker person. Why do you really care that this person dissed you, they are the one being inconsiderate and not showing you respect.

F.ck them! Let it go and move on, continue with your happy life unaffected by that person.

I wont let you bring me down because your being a disrespectful A..hole.

Your original post has to be taken from both sides here, if your not being respected you shouldnt feel bad about it, especially if you make sure that you dont go around disrespecting other people out of spite for your life.

Someone who cannot even feign respect towards does not deserve the gratification of knowing that you are effected by them.


And no you shouldnt go around being agreeable with everything and everyone, that only shows that you dont have any respect for yourself. Which is not only annoying but also very submissive, which I believe we all know is a bad thing.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
your right you shouldnt get upset over what people say im just really strugeling to find a good example to get my point accross i dont think im making it clear enough.

Basiclywhen somthing is bad dont pretend everything is good, do not hide the fact you are human.

If some one says to you what do you think of "persons name" dont insult the perosn in question but if you dont like the person dont start pretending to, do you get what i mean? like when some one pretends ot be perfect, and have no hate for anyone or anything inside them and always make out that they are on top of the world. Thats what you need to make sure you do not do because once you try to be positive its too easy to go over board and end up doing this.
 
Joined
Apr 25, 2005
Messages
37
Reaction score
0
Location
Tumbling down the rabbit hole
Whats wrong with that though. Why cant you just be happy for that person. By being annoyed by it only proves your jealousy for the way they live their life. Which in turn makes you the unhappy person.

Being happy is infectious as well as any other mood. When you are happy the people around automatically start to feel happier, this is what make you the alpha, you define the mood with your mood.

By getting annoyed with this person only shows that you are of weak charactor and threatened by them. Thats not the goal of this website and not a goal I have in my life, I am in a great mood when I am with anyone, if I am in a bad mood I wont go out or Ill straighten myself out first then go.

And you dont have to pretend to like anyone but becarefull with that, what ever you say about someone will 99% of the time get back to them and you need to be able to tell the same thing to their face or you are no better then any of the other haters.

About going overboard with being happy, yes you can over do it and its fake and people see it and its annoying. That is not the DJ way but if you truly are happy all the time because your life kicks ass then to hell with everyone that is jealous of you for it.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
if you are always happy then show it, but there will always be some down times, as long as oyu dont fake happiness it will be fine, yes if people get anoyed at you for being happy they are jelous, all you can do it try not to rub it in their faces. You are right about the reasons for it but you cant do anything to change that.

The rule here is just dont fake happiness

It is only when you fake it and or rub it in peoples faces that they get annoyed really. Otherwise you will just get the odd jelous person. I have 95% of people saying how im always smiling and happy, the other 5% are haters because they are jelous so they take it out on me.
 
Joined
Apr 25, 2005
Messages
37
Reaction score
0
Location
Tumbling down the rabbit hole
Thats it right there Check_mate, dont rub **** in peoples faces that will piss them off. It doesnt matter if its your happiness or whatever.

I still like the phrase "Be considerate" best. Its the best you can do to quell the haters when your a DJ.
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,276
Reaction score
244
Age
46
Location
at our house
r e s p e c t find out what it means to me yah sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me ~
 

Al Moh.

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 15, 2008
Messages
400
Reaction score
21
Location
Paradise
Bump, great post especially the part about respecting others and getting respect back.

Remember, a DJ doesn't care what people think about his life but he is still social and HAS do deal with critisism from his friends and with his and their faults. Being a man doesn't mean being right all the time.
 
Top