Don Juan...Just Guidelines?(long)

I have two buddies(who are best friends), who have really helped me along my progression with women. Both of them are older than me, around 23 now and one is engaged and the other is still playing the field, both graduated from college and are now set. They are natural Don Juans, and in my mind where most of you guys want to be at.

While watching them I realized alot of things; Previously I thought that there was a certain 'way' to get girls. A certain set rule or check list I had to go down to get the girls. Like most young men I was looking for that secret password so to speak. I was reading the guides/advice that some people made on here and things like that, I thought there is a strict code to do certain things in order to get girls, Like you couldn't skip a step.. But these guys were best friends and their approachs were alike but ALOT different and they both are the most sucessful men I've ever seen as far as women go. Thats when I realized, that there are no secret 'codes' or underlying incantations to get girls. Everyone is different, and everyone's game is different. So you have to GET OUT, date girls and talk to people to discover who you are and where you fit in. I know I might sound like Yoda or Tony Robbins, but I swear to god when I quit acting like I knew what I was doing and copying people, but REALLY knew what I was doing through expierence. The whole game just fell into my lap. It was like the sun broke the horizon and I could see land, I never again needed help or advice.

Basic things that I learnt from them.

-Dont act desperate(The Biggest Rule that they have, EVER)
-Always have girls on the side(kills desperation)
-Hit on girls(They both did it, and I eventually got over my fear of doing it from watching them)
-Dont ****-block
-Call the girl- They both called girls regularly, not even the wait for 3 days thing. They didn't overdue it though and they usually never stayed on the phone long at all.
-Flattery gets you everywhere, but you have to be CONFIDENT, when you do it. Dont just give them out, act like your interested. Girls are flattered if you ask them out, or say anything to you. They dont laugh or thinks its funny.
-If you go to a party with a girl, or girls are going to be their. DONT get plastered.(Austin didn't really follow that one)

Misconceptions---

Dont call a girl-Stupid, if you interested call her. I use to buy into this 3 day thing. But after I get a girls number, I call her the next day and set something up and it has yet to fail me.

Neg Hit-Again, Stupid just on principle. You dont insult people and flatter them. You come off as an *******, even *******s dont get laid by talking **** to people. Almost all girls are insecure, even the really hot ones.

Dont compliment-She is dieing to hear them from you; that is why it takes her an hour to get ready everyday, she isn't going to feel like she has conquered you if you give her one. If you dont notice her, then you pretty much tell her that your not interested.

C&F-If you aren't funny, then why would you try to be? I've been around alot of cool people that aren't spotlight, stand up funny and they get laid alot. ****y is just a farse, dont act like something your not. Because your going to seem fake, not matter how good of an actor you are.


Those might seem like regular things that are preached on here alot. But some of you may have never seen a real Don Juan use them, So I'll give you some situations where it happened, and just a few things about them.


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Let me premise my first friend a bit. We will call him Austin(not engaged). He was the short guy, around 5-7 or 5-8 he was muscular because he played football, but not a gym rat. A little above average in the looks department. He got 'Best Eyes' in the Personalities--In High School he slept with about 20 or 30 girls from his high school, which for anyone in high school is a pretty big number. But his taste wasn't so..refined. In other words, he slept with some ugly girls too. But what I found out shocked me, and took me a while to comprehend.

The hot girls wanted him, because he was 'easy'. Thats right, you heard me. I even heard my girlfriends friends at the time saying they would have sex with him, just because they knew there where no strings attached; ****ed up huh?--He was the guy that always got drunk on weekends, got in fights, played football, a guy that everyone wanted to be around, plus he HAS NEVER been on a regular date. His approach seemed illogical to me, I didn't know how he kept getting this HB's especially since he was publicly hooking up with some 'creatures' and he didn't care to tell anyone about it.

I was a party once and his g/f at the time Emily kept calling him, and asking if girls were there. He would just tell her to stop calling him and hang up. This drove her INSANE! Emily then started begging to come over and sex him, just to prove to herself she could. Austin just didn't give a ****, and he had NO desperation and he seemed like he didn't care(which he didn't). I can't stress how much this was a part of his game, if not for him not giving a **** what girls thought made him the most confident man on the planet, whether or not he was. Girls do this stuff to us, but we dont realize it. Otherwise this board wouldn't be here.

He always had 3-4 girls going at once(prob more now), He told me to always keep 3-4 girls going. Because when you know you can always get some. Your whole attitude changes, even around your girlfriend or bootycall and your not a AFC or some chump that will do anything to get laid, or get oneitus.--He just didn't care...so they wondered why, and it works for him to this day. The complete *******/jerk Don Juan.

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My second friends name was Channing, or Chan for short. Chan was the tall dark haired handsome guy that all the girls wanted. He was around 6-3, Weighed about 195. Built, and was just all around a good looking dude. He got "Best Personality" in the Year Book.--Chan was the sports star at our school, but he was probably and still is. One of the coolest people you could ever be around. He talked to the Punks and Goths in school. He wasn't a ******* and wasn't a jerk. But I've never had more fun around someone than him. He is funny and witty as hell, made good grades. Went to parties, but didn't always get drunk. Austin edged him out in the girls slept with department, because he only had around 10 women in High School. But every single one of them were the hottest girls in(and out) of school. No flunkers.

The way he called girls amazed me. I've never seen anyone able to manipulate people like that, He could talk girls into coming over anytime he wanted. He just knew how to read people, He could call a girl 10 times a day, and she wouldn't care. I've never heard of any girl just 'dumping' him before.

He was the nice because he was funny and cool without insulting other people(something that seem to go hand in hand), confident guy. But he always seemed like he was more interested in other things. One time I dated a girl whose older sister(who was a model) dated Chan, We had Christmas party at their 'rents house. Instead of gushing all over the girl, holding her hand, kissing her, laying on her etc. He acted almost like he didn't want to touch her. This drove her nuts, she was doing anything to touch him or get him to recognize her physically. It was like he was playing with her mind(which if you read on this board, almost all of the girls do it to guys). He would go to parties, and not get plastered and ended up hooking up with the hottest girls there. He drove a ****ty 1980 Honda Civic, and no girl seemed to care about his ride. His senior year in college he met a girl(named Megan who he eventually fell in love with) and now he is engaged to marry her. I've never seen a more perfect couple, and I think through all of his years of dating. That he narrowed down his taste and found out what he truly wanted.
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Some more things I learnt from them.

-CUT DOWN BIG TIME on the displays of affection. When you dont give it out as much, it makes her want it that much more. This helped my game out more than anything, and it sounds so dumb. Girls do this to guys all the time. Plus, that stuff is for kids anyway.

-Intiate everything, Start the dates, tell her to come over etc. You dont have to wait 3 days to act like your busy or something, unless you really ARE busy. If your confident and not desperate. Then it's not going to matter.

-I always see these tips like, "Dont Text Msg" or "Dont IM", "Dont Open the Door for her". Really, none of that stuff matters if your confident. I know it's been said, but once you get there. Every DJ understands. You have to stop caring though, that is the indirect route for the Bootcamps and all that other stuff on here. One you stop caring, you lose the desperation, which creates confidence.

In closing, I'm convinced DJ'ing is the only way you can actually be happy in life. You see these guys in HS that marry the first girl they meet and have sex with. You know that these guys aren't going to be content. How could you? What are the chances you meet 'the one' on your first try? These guys both have probably hooked up with over 100 girls each, and one is just NOW settling down. Because he knows what he wants, from expierence. The other will probably take a while to mature a little bit, but by then he will know exactly what he wants too.

Not every technique on here is rock solid, I couldn't master Chan or Austins game, because nobody is better at their own game than themselves. I had to make myself better, and through watching more successfull DJ's I realized what I had to do, and reached it. You dont have to ****y and funny, mean, or nice.

None of that matters, if you carry yourself the way you TRULY are. The girls are going to come. Because confidence is where its at.

great stuff.

I was a party once and his g/f at the time Emily kept calling him, and asking if girls were there. He would just tell her to stop calling him and hang up. This drove her INSANE! Emily then started begging to come over and sex him, just to prove to herself she could. Austin just didn't give a ****, and he had NO desperation and he seemed like he didn't care(which he didn't).

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my good friend is like austin. ive seen him do the exact same thing so many times. its sad and funny at the same time... every now and again he'll show me text messages and voice mails he gets from girls. these hot chicks pretty much begging for it.

and an interesting note on closure... one time he showed me 3 girls' messages. two of them said, word for word, "well, if we arent going to be hanging out any more i think we should have one last session."

the third girl, who he never even slept with, said, "well, if youre going to stop talking to me you should at least get some ass out of it. when can i come over?"

ahaha... just more proof than beautiful girls, who may have guys swarming around them, can be quite afc and desperate.

SLB

Awesome post. So basically just do wwhat you gotta do to live your life and be confident and positive in everything like you know everything is gonna fall into place in the end.

I'm kind of like Chan, minus the 10 HBs, minus the super good looks, and...minus the age cuz I'm not in college yet. Great post!

Your friend Chan sound a lot like me. So let me give you some insight into how he and I think.

I am nice to everyone because I genuinely care about them as people. I talk to them whenever I get the chance. It does not matter to me if they are a nerd, goth, or punk as long as they as nice good people. But it does matter if they were bad people that are mean to others, then they have my resent and disgust.

I have no trouble talking and teasing girls that I have just met because deep down I know I am rare and wanted by many. I am attracted to the best, highest quality women with strong moral values. If a hot girl does not have the values I am looking for, then I can quickly become disinterest as fast as I became interested from their look. I do not like sluts, *****es, or superficial girls.

I am witty, funny, and get good grades because I am a very intelligent guy. I am always busy because there is a passion in my life that I want to focus on. There are many thing that I am passionate about, but I currently I do not have the time for. I do not waste a large amount of my time thinking about girls. I would rather spent my time doing something productive.

I am good at reading people because I am always thinking and analyzing the environment around me. When it may appears that I am being quiet, in reality what I am doing is analyzing. When I talk to someone, I am also anaylzing everything about them like their body language, voice tone, altitude, etc to find out what their values and characters are like. I do this especially to every girls I meet.

I have very high self-esteem and high self-worth because I know deep down that I am important. I know that I will become sucessful because I am busy working on the things that will make me successful. I do not feel like I have to get drunk just because other people are getting drunk. I do not feel like I have to do any thing or follow any trend just because someone else think it is cool. To me I decide what is cool.

This is why many people consider me as cool, charismatic, and popular. Because I understand how women think and actively use it, I have been called a "player", "pimp", or "stud" even though I do not often go out and approach many girl or go out and try to get laid a lot. It is because people just assume that I am good with women because of the way I act.

So, therefore if you want to become a true Don Juan, use me as a role model to shape your character and altitude.

Yeah, thanks for the replys. I think there is a huge misconception that certian things you do are the keys. When really, when you be yourself. Your going to get alot more girls than you would trying to act like someone else.

Look, your two friends are two completely different people. While both can pull in girls, the big difference all comes down to RESPECT. Think about it, who do you think get respect? I would have to say Chan.

If you know a guy like Austin that's fun to hang with, party a lot, and **** a lot of girls you would think he is cool. But did all these thing without any values, morals, or character like integrity, courage, or strength; would you respect him?

What is more important, respect from your peers or getting laid as often as possible? I you can choose, who would you rather be?

Another thing that me and Chan share is that deep down, we somehow know and feel that we are leaders. We spent at least one time everyday imagining ourselve acting as leaders and it makes us happy. We somehow know deep inside as even if we are not aware of that we will become important one day, so we work hard to prepare ourselves when the time come.

Good post, well written and not too long while being thorough and concise. I think it can still be summed up in three words.

STOP THE DESPERATION.

This actually may be Bible material.

'In High School he slept with about 20 or 30 girls from his high school'

I aint a hater but thats bullsh1t.

Nah man, the 20 or 30 girls is actually true. Like I said though, most of them weren't even really that hot. But he did hook up with some REAL hot ones..He just didn't care, I figured that if he hooked up with ugly girls. That the hot ones would just dismiss him as some scummy scrub. But I was dead wrong.

But instead they wanted to **** him, because they knew he was easy. That totally opened my eyes, that girls are sexual creatures as well. I guess it's just how he carried himself.

Some people try to be *******s or jerks, just because they think that is the ONLY way you can get respect or they see other people that are succesful that way. But if you carry yourself, how you really are, then your going to be respected no matter what.

That is a big mis-conception I see alot on this board. That you have to be one way, The Alpha Male, the bossy type that kind of stuff just to get all the girls. But those guys are totally different in their approach and still get girls fawning over them.

I'm going to go back and fix some spelling errors in it though, no changes in content.

The Interview

Since I wanted this to kind of be a thorough report. Me and my afore mentioned buddies met up at Chans house for the NBA playoffs, his fiance was gone and we had a couple of beers and I discussed some things. They like to give me advice, I think probably because it makes them feel like they got it all figured out. But most of its good. So I'll give ya gems.

At first, how did you get over your fear of talking to girls and asking them out?

Chan: I've never been afraid to talk to girls, In middle school you know how it went. Like, her friend told your friend and then you were a couple. It wasn't until I got around 12th grade before I realized you actually ASKED girls out. Most of the time I just hooked up with them at parties, then called them after that. It was hard man, it just takes some getting use to. I was a little afraid at first, but I got over it quick.

Austin: I just get her number from her friend and call her, usually. Unless I see her somewhere then I just ask her.

Best thing to do on the first phone call?

Chan: I ALWAYS set something up first. I will always tell her I want to do something with her first, see what she says. Then talk for about 10 minutes after that. If she says she doesn't want to do something and has a stupid reason, then I just forgot about her, cut the convo short and wait for her to call me.

Austin: I call alot, most of the girls I talk to are pretty slutty though. Chan dates the high class *****s, so he probably knows that job better.

Chan: ****, It's easy. Just talk to her. ****, I mean. She has her mind made up, as long as you dont sound like some dork then your in if she's already gave you her number. Ask her out first, then talk.


How about Sex, When do you start making your moves?

Chan: If I take her on one good date, like out to dinner or something and it ends with a kiss(and in this case, nothing more). Then I usually invite her over to my house to watch a movie or something. Just start cozying up, then kiss her. Then..just progress from there. But she might tell you to stop, you would be suprised how many girls I've talked out of 'not doing it'. They dont want to be a *****, so just make them feel like they aren't one. But if they are a ***** they get 'idea' of coming over in the first place.

Austin: I usually invite them over, for the first date or whatever. If not who cares, I can call up some other girl. If I dont get laid in the first month, I'm outie.

I think we should spend some time apart, What the **** does that mean?

Chan: Usually, this means she is ****ing some other dude and she doesn't want to feel guilty about. The hottest girl I've ever dated was Austins ex(Amber), she got her mom to tell me we needed some time apart. Which was lame, but I just cut off all contact with her and she eventually came calling back. But it's happened to me before, sometimes they are just letting you down easy and sometimes they aren't.

Austin: I just stop talking to her.

Long term relationships, when should I commit? So many hot girls, but I sometimes..I dont know who is LTR material

Chan: In high school...committ to the hottest girl available. Cause none of that matters then. Cheat on her, but you will always have that sure thing when you go home. That's refreshing if you leave home from a party getting shot down. Yeah, I was a bastard back then.

Austin: Girlfriends suck, the more you leave them alone. They either dump your ass or go ****ing insane over you. But yeah, while your in high school. Get one, but cheat on her. Your not going to marry her anyway. Plus your going to regret you didn't pork Brittany the Cheerleader because you were 'committed'.

Your girls cheats on you, what do you do?

Chan: In high school? I would act like I accept her apology, but I wouldn't care as long as she ****ed me still. I would probably be cheating on her back then anyway.

Austin: Kick the guys ass, I had a girlfriend who I broke up with. So she asked Chan to Homecoming, and ****ed him at my cottage party for like 2 hours. It was humilating, but I thought since I treated her like **** and she liked me good she would come around. She did come back, but it's kinda like I'm his ***** now or something.

Chan: Yeah, that was kind of awesome.

What would you say to someoene who is just starting to come of age? Any rules to live by?

Chan: High School and College aren't times to be serious...When you make it that way, your just going to cause yourself trouble and alot of pain. People really aren't ready to settle down until they get arond 25 anyway or older. So just go out, ask girls out. Cause really who cares? They dont, they like it. If they say no, whatever if yes then even better!!! You get a feeling when you settle down, or in guys case mature. I matured, and grew past all of this horrible advice I'm giving you. But it's good advice if your a kid. But really, see people for who they are, not who you want them to be. It took me alot of searching but I found the girl I want, that wants me just as much. I know I sound like some 14 year old who just discovered a vagina. But it's a good feeling...and it took me a long time to get here.

Look at Austin, I think his pedo ass has a lifetime membership to high school prom. He went this year, I think someone we graduated with teachs there now. You ****ing loser ahahaha.

Austin: She was 18, and we went as friends, fag. But get drunk have fun, and do crazy **** cause when you get older your not really going to have the same oppurtunity and regret you didn't do that dirty ho back in Spanish Class, At least I know I wont. I mean your around girls all day almost all year in High School and College. That kind of **** doesn't happen ever again.

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That concludes it, I tried to ask some of the basic questions. That was their answers pretty much to the bone. I might've got a few things wrong but the message is exactly the same.

After that we finished the beer and passed out, Chan's fiance came home cleaned up our mess and cooked us breakfest then went out and rented us some movies before she went to work(only because it was 'boys night' out, or something he made up'. God I want a wife like that if DJ'ing gets me a wife like that. I'm sold.

Sorry for typo's I'll fix them later.

this is awesome- i think its bible worthy- has some real nuggets of info in there- nice thread mikel

I can't believe this post got such little replies. The original post and the subsequent interview that mikel wrote are a wealth of knowledge.

To re-iterate what he said about the misconceptions of sosuave, and what you should do instead:
-Don't use neg-hits, they barely ever work.
-Don't use C&F, they will make you look pompous.
-Call whenever want, just don't overdue it.
-Compliment and sweet talk her

The interview was also great. "See people for who they are, not who you want them to be".

I agree - confidence is the most important thing and one does not need to follow any certain example - acting yourself being confident is a lot better.
I have to disagree about the neg-hits and C&F - I mean, it does work and it works just great, if you know how to do it. It really drives the women crazy.. and crazy over you. But you have to do it right, of course.

But I definitely would not call C&F and neg-hits a misconception!! For sure!

Very nice thread, though.

Re: The Interview

Originally posted by mikel
After that we finished the beer and passed out, Chan's fiance came home cleaned up our mess and cooked us breakfest then went out and rented us some movies before she went to work(only because it was 'boys night' out, or something he made up'.)God I want a wife like that if DJ'ing gets me a wife like that. I'm sold.

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I'm sold too!!!!! Who wouldn't want a woman like that?

ADKdj

Great post. Watching naturals improved me 100%.

Wonderful. Rated a 5, added to Tip Album

Well said Mikel....it's all true.