I've noticed alot of advice given to males is to feel positive, confident, etc etc. Thats all well and good but lately i've discovered making the woman feel good can work so much more if you do it correctly. Im not saying you have to be bubbling with enthusiasm but try not to talk about ANYTHING negative. Don't complain, express irritation, talk about your roommate who forgets to shower, or the test you 2 don't want to take, none of that. Talk about anything you like just as long as it's either a neutral or positive subject that she seems to enjoy or respond too. if SHE has complaints about either something or herself try to encourage her that its not all bad(don't overdo it) and why she should be positive about whatever you're talking about. Why talk about something that isn't going to make anyone feel better or makes them feel worse?
I noticed this with a girl I was talking to for awhile who seemed to be genuinly interested in me at first. We'd hang out every now and then and I'd try to keep the conversations directed at herself more towards me by asking open ended questions. Unfortunately what i didnt notice was that I would always ask about things that she didnt like. Her parents, her roommate, her classes, etc. So of course I was confused when she started to suddenly not want to hang out as much or wasn't as enthusiastic to see me or "was busy". At first I thought maybe we were spending to much time together so i backed off(we had class together 4x a week so i couldn't avoid her completely). But then i started thinking about when we talk it's usually always about something depressing to her so the next time we talked I decided to stick with topics she liked. Food, TV shows, etc made jokes blah blah. She couldn't get enough of it. Before noon she wanted me to hang out with her for the entire day on Thurs(this girl rarely does ANYTHING) and check out a movie with her on Friday.
Just my 2 cents on what i noticed. Feel free to leave any comments or disagreements
04-11-2005, 08:50 PM
