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"loose lips sink ships" i got a question..

dude156

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i recently met a woman. She was beautiful, intelligent, funny, everything I look for.

I was doing everything right in the beginning, maintaining a little mystery and only giving a little information at a time. She passed the kiss test on the first date, and I could tell her interest level was high. We had this amazing incredible chemistry if you know what I mean.

As we talked more and more, though, she was constantly asking me to open up and share my thoughts and feelings, saying nothing in my mind was too big or too small to tell her, don't hold back, etc.

Since she seemed trustworthy, and I liked her, I started to believe her.

They have a saying in the military: "Loose lips sink ships" (referring to people letting out sensitive information to the point where the enemy knows enough to sink our naval ships). It's true in the military and it's true in romance.

I started to tell her everything, what I liked about her, then how I felt about her, etc. (I'm cringing as I write this, you should be cringing too!) She was open with me as well but I was scaring her off. My loose lips, my letting out too much, was sinking the ship of possibilities with us.

We talked more and more deeply to the point where we were having deep relationship talks which started causing relationship misunderstandings and relationship issues, and and WE WEREN'T EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP!

All of this made things way more difficult than it should have been, and of course disaster followed.

Here's the part where you can learn from my mistakes.

Guys, we all know the rules. There are stages for what you can talk about with a woman and when (if you don't know what I'm talking about, read the dj bible and read the archives). The rules exist for a reason. They exist to protect you and to protect your possibilities with women.

I thought I could break the rules and get away with it, and I was wrong. Please for the sake of yourself, learn the rules and play by the rules.


i got this tip from the quick tips archive and i havnt totely spilled how i feel about her and talked alot about relationships but recently its been wierd if we talk on the phone or online...we dont have as much as we used to talk about..but i recently took her to a movie and stuff and we had fun so that was ok..but just wondering..is there a way to save my self from this and win her over?
 

Stud

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no matter how far you've gone down the wrong road, always go back. Theres nothing you can do about the past, you made a big mistake, but theres no point in sitting around waiting for it to become magically undone, do something about it. what i would do would go back into the mysterious guy as much as possible. And NEVER EVER let her think for a minute that your relationship is anything but romantic.
 

dude156

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ok i get what ur sayin...so just do more romantic stuff and let her know in ways other than telling her strait out?
 

Stud

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not necessarily romantic stuff, just dont let things fall back onto the friendship side of things (ie. having long talks, spilling your feelings on everything). she already has one puss, she doesnt want another one.
 

dude156

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haha aight..so shud i (not totaly) avoid talking to her as much i use to cuz i just called her today and like we both had nothing to talk about and we just sat there for like a minute :eek: so yea..she said shed call me back cuz she was going to lay down...so um yea.?...im gonna get a job so thatll take me off the computer and make me get out more..gettin my license soon tho:)
 

Stud

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pretty much, treat her like the average girl. With respect, but don't put her on a pedestal. Hobbies, jobs, friends, anything that makes you less available is good. Just make sure the time you spend with her is fun and enjoyable for BOTH OF YOU.
 

Jerky Boi

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Right now you're just coming off to be an emotional guy. Don't spill all your secrets to her right away. Let her earn your trust. Let her earn the right to be able to know about yourself. Don't become too available either. The job thing would work wonders with that.
 

JSH

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it doesnt matter, i can have long conversations with girls and get them even more interested in me, jsut keep throwing in flirtatious comments
 
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