I'm a firm believer in the fact that fear, best described by Miguel Ruiz as a parasite with a thousand heads, is the wall that separates the place where we stand today with the place where we want to stand tomorrow. This analogy is by no means exclusive to seduction and applies to absolutely every area of life. I habitually analyze all successes and failures of myself and those around me, and to this day i've been unable to find a failure, the cause of which couldn't be traced back to fear.
Allow me to illustrate. Meet John. Today, John is dead. He died yesterday, poor and lonely. Why? Because John lived his life in fear. As a child, John was afraid of leaving his mother's side. At the playground, other children would run around and explore, yet John would stay as close as her as possible. When introduced to other children, John would hide behind her back until they ran off to play without him. Because of fear, John had a hard time socializing.
In elementary, John was often bullied and beaten by bigger kids. He was afraid to stand up for himself. He figured getting beat up would hurt less if he didn't fight back. Because of fear, John's elementary school experience often resembled a nightmare. He eventually came to associate socializing and going to school with fear and pain. For this reason, he constantly skipped class when he was in high school. Because of fear, John failed school and never graduated.
He went on to work at a factory for minimum wage. He never asked for more money for fear of being rejected, so he got paid less than everyone else. An old high school friend, who went on to become a millionaire investor, once offered John an opportunity to invest some of his money and secure his future. John was afraid of losing whatever little money he had and refused. His friend took the calculated risk and became even richer. Because of fear, John lived his life in poverty.
He married a fat, unattractive woman because he could never work up the courage to ask out a beautiful one. Several years earlier, he did get lucky enough to date one, but she left him when she realized he was afraid that he wasn't good enough to keep her. He was afraid because he knew that he wasn't making as much money as others. He was afraid because he wasn't good at socializing and couldn't meet other pretty girls. He was afraid because he was out of shape since he ate because he was unhappy. He tried working out, but gave up because he was afraid he'd never succeed. Because of fear, John settled for the woman no one wanted and the body one wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.
John never had any children. He couldn't afford them. He was afraid to bring them into a life of poverty, and kept putting the issue aside, hoping that next year things would be different. "I'll take three tickets for the lotto, same numbers as yesterday." That was the highlight of John's day. He never won the lotto and one day, finally realized that he had ran out of time to have kids. That was the day his overweight wife had died of heart failure in her sleep. This wouldn't have happened if he had money. He would have hired a personal trainer to help her lose weight and a physician to closely monitor her health. This wouldn't have happened if he was in shape. His success would have inspired her to diet. This wouldn’t have happened if he had children, they would have reminded her to stay strong and healthy for them and helped take better care of her. Because of fear, John ended up all alone in the world.
John retired and spent his final years living and slowly dying in a poorhouse. His pension check wasn't enough to pay the rent of an apartment. Yesterday, John died poor and lonely because he formed a habit of allowing the parasite of fear to make his decisions for him. We're all slaves of our habits; unfortunately for John, he was a slave to the deadliest one of all. The parasite with a thousand heads took over his life and lived it for him. Every time John allowed it to make a decision for him, it grew stronger. And the stronger it grew, the harder it became to fight. Eventually, John stopped fighting and became one with it. He accepted the fact that he was destined to life his life in fear. Because of fear, John died poor and lonely.
John agreed to stop fighting. We all have that choice, but refuse to make it every minute of every day. We refuse to make it when we approach a girl even though we know she may not like us. We refuse to make it when we call a potential client, even though he may hang up. We refuse to make it when we go to the gym, even though the number of those who tried and failed to get in shape is in the tens of millions in the USA alone. We refuse to agree to stop fighting because we don’t want to live and die the way John did. We must continue fighting, we must continue chopping the parasite's heads off, one by one. The moment we stop fighting is the moment we agree to hand over to the parasite the control over our life. The moment we stop fighting is the moment we agree to become another John. The moment we stop fighting is the moment our life will end and mere existence will begin.
I lived my life in fear up until my late teens. What was said about John's life up until his failure to graduate from high school is also true for me. At 18, i was an overweight virgin with no education, no friends, no ambitions, no career and no future. I was headed straight for a lonely death at a poorhouse. But unlike John, I made the right choice. I chose to start living my life as a fighter. I clenched my fist and struck down the first head off the parasite. I quit smoking. Soon after, i made another choice. I stopped over-eating. Another head rolled! More choices followed, including investing in workout equipment, buying self-help books and starting a business. But it all started with a single choice made on September 1, 2002.
And here I am, two and a half years later. I’m 21 years old have never felt better in my entire life. I took my shirt off before typing this paragraph so that i could look at the bulging veins on my arms and smile as i'm writing. I love my body, and so do women. During the summer, I don’t have to try to get women – women try to get me. Something happened, i'm no longer fat. There are three books on my desk. One more on the speakers to the left. Another dozen on the shelf behind me. Four business magazines are sitting on the TV to my right. Something happened, i'm no longer uneducated. By the door is a keychain with the logo of a car that most people will never be able to afford. In several weeks, I’ll attach a key to that keychain, start that very same car, and drive it off the lot. Something happened, I’m no longer poor.
The other day i went to the mall with a couple of friends. We took the escalator to the very top, and as i stood there, overlooking one of the biggest malls in my city on the busiest afternoon of the week, i gathered all my strength and off the top of my lungs yelled "FFFREEEEDDDOOOOMMMM!!!" And then there was silence. A thousand people on three levels stopped and looked in my direction. I suddenly realized that i was being watched by everyone from every direction and became fully aware that they all think i'm absolutely psycho. And guess what, I didn’t care! I let out a big laugh, and after getting a high-five from one of my astonished friends, continued walking, feeling about as confident as God himself if he ever came down to Earth. Something happened, i'm no longer afraid. Many things happened, all because of a single choice made on that warm September evening.
I'd like you to do something right now. Clench your fist, clench it so hard that you can feel the nails tearing through your skin. Clench it as hard as you possibly can without screaming out in pain. Do it now. Good, but don't let go yet. With your fist still clenched, say this out loud. "No longer will i live in fear. No longer will i take fear into account when making any decision. No longer will i allow fear to stop me from doing what i have to do to succeed. Today, i raise my fist and strike down the first head of the parasite. Today, i swear that i will keep on striking until no heads remain and the parasite is dead forever. Today, i decide to stop living in fear and become free. FREEDOM! I CHOOSE FREEDOM!" Now release your fist. The pain you felt was the pain of living in fear. The relief you feel now is the joy of being free.
You are free now. Free from the chains, free from the prison of fear. Go on living your life a free man. Live, laugh, love and die old, happy, prosperous, and surrounded by countless children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Enjoy every moment because before you know it, today will be an ancient memory from the youth of a old man.
Allow me to illustrate. Meet John. Today, John is dead. He died yesterday, poor and lonely. Why? Because John lived his life in fear. As a child, John was afraid of leaving his mother's side. At the playground, other children would run around and explore, yet John would stay as close as her as possible. When introduced to other children, John would hide behind her back until they ran off to play without him. Because of fear, John had a hard time socializing.
In elementary, John was often bullied and beaten by bigger kids. He was afraid to stand up for himself. He figured getting beat up would hurt less if he didn't fight back. Because of fear, John's elementary school experience often resembled a nightmare. He eventually came to associate socializing and going to school with fear and pain. For this reason, he constantly skipped class when he was in high school. Because of fear, John failed school and never graduated.
He went on to work at a factory for minimum wage. He never asked for more money for fear of being rejected, so he got paid less than everyone else. An old high school friend, who went on to become a millionaire investor, once offered John an opportunity to invest some of his money and secure his future. John was afraid of losing whatever little money he had and refused. His friend took the calculated risk and became even richer. Because of fear, John lived his life in poverty.
He married a fat, unattractive woman because he could never work up the courage to ask out a beautiful one. Several years earlier, he did get lucky enough to date one, but she left him when she realized he was afraid that he wasn't good enough to keep her. He was afraid because he knew that he wasn't making as much money as others. He was afraid because he wasn't good at socializing and couldn't meet other pretty girls. He was afraid because he was out of shape since he ate because he was unhappy. He tried working out, but gave up because he was afraid he'd never succeed. Because of fear, John settled for the woman no one wanted and the body one wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.
John never had any children. He couldn't afford them. He was afraid to bring them into a life of poverty, and kept putting the issue aside, hoping that next year things would be different. "I'll take three tickets for the lotto, same numbers as yesterday." That was the highlight of John's day. He never won the lotto and one day, finally realized that he had ran out of time to have kids. That was the day his overweight wife had died of heart failure in her sleep. This wouldn't have happened if he had money. He would have hired a personal trainer to help her lose weight and a physician to closely monitor her health. This wouldn't have happened if he was in shape. His success would have inspired her to diet. This wouldn’t have happened if he had children, they would have reminded her to stay strong and healthy for them and helped take better care of her. Because of fear, John ended up all alone in the world.
John retired and spent his final years living and slowly dying in a poorhouse. His pension check wasn't enough to pay the rent of an apartment. Yesterday, John died poor and lonely because he formed a habit of allowing the parasite of fear to make his decisions for him. We're all slaves of our habits; unfortunately for John, he was a slave to the deadliest one of all. The parasite with a thousand heads took over his life and lived it for him. Every time John allowed it to make a decision for him, it grew stronger. And the stronger it grew, the harder it became to fight. Eventually, John stopped fighting and became one with it. He accepted the fact that he was destined to life his life in fear. Because of fear, John died poor and lonely.
John agreed to stop fighting. We all have that choice, but refuse to make it every minute of every day. We refuse to make it when we approach a girl even though we know she may not like us. We refuse to make it when we call a potential client, even though he may hang up. We refuse to make it when we go to the gym, even though the number of those who tried and failed to get in shape is in the tens of millions in the USA alone. We refuse to agree to stop fighting because we don’t want to live and die the way John did. We must continue fighting, we must continue chopping the parasite's heads off, one by one. The moment we stop fighting is the moment we agree to hand over to the parasite the control over our life. The moment we stop fighting is the moment we agree to become another John. The moment we stop fighting is the moment our life will end and mere existence will begin.
I lived my life in fear up until my late teens. What was said about John's life up until his failure to graduate from high school is also true for me. At 18, i was an overweight virgin with no education, no friends, no ambitions, no career and no future. I was headed straight for a lonely death at a poorhouse. But unlike John, I made the right choice. I chose to start living my life as a fighter. I clenched my fist and struck down the first head off the parasite. I quit smoking. Soon after, i made another choice. I stopped over-eating. Another head rolled! More choices followed, including investing in workout equipment, buying self-help books and starting a business. But it all started with a single choice made on September 1, 2002.
And here I am, two and a half years later. I’m 21 years old have never felt better in my entire life. I took my shirt off before typing this paragraph so that i could look at the bulging veins on my arms and smile as i'm writing. I love my body, and so do women. During the summer, I don’t have to try to get women – women try to get me. Something happened, i'm no longer fat. There are three books on my desk. One more on the speakers to the left. Another dozen on the shelf behind me. Four business magazines are sitting on the TV to my right. Something happened, i'm no longer uneducated. By the door is a keychain with the logo of a car that most people will never be able to afford. In several weeks, I’ll attach a key to that keychain, start that very same car, and drive it off the lot. Something happened, I’m no longer poor.
The other day i went to the mall with a couple of friends. We took the escalator to the very top, and as i stood there, overlooking one of the biggest malls in my city on the busiest afternoon of the week, i gathered all my strength and off the top of my lungs yelled "FFFREEEEDDDOOOOMMMM!!!" And then there was silence. A thousand people on three levels stopped and looked in my direction. I suddenly realized that i was being watched by everyone from every direction and became fully aware that they all think i'm absolutely psycho. And guess what, I didn’t care! I let out a big laugh, and after getting a high-five from one of my astonished friends, continued walking, feeling about as confident as God himself if he ever came down to Earth. Something happened, i'm no longer afraid. Many things happened, all because of a single choice made on that warm September evening.
I'd like you to do something right now. Clench your fist, clench it so hard that you can feel the nails tearing through your skin. Clench it as hard as you possibly can without screaming out in pain. Do it now. Good, but don't let go yet. With your fist still clenched, say this out loud. "No longer will i live in fear. No longer will i take fear into account when making any decision. No longer will i allow fear to stop me from doing what i have to do to succeed. Today, i raise my fist and strike down the first head of the parasite. Today, i swear that i will keep on striking until no heads remain and the parasite is dead forever. Today, i decide to stop living in fear and become free. FREEDOM! I CHOOSE FREEDOM!" Now release your fist. The pain you felt was the pain of living in fear. The relief you feel now is the joy of being free.
You are free now. Free from the chains, free from the prison of fear. Go on living your life a free man. Live, laugh, love and die old, happy, prosperous, and surrounded by countless children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Enjoy every moment because before you know it, today will be an ancient memory from the youth of a old man.
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