Wake-Up Call

An interesting thing I have noticed about seduction...

The better I get at this game, the less desire I have to analyze or post about it.

The opposite has also proven true. The more time I spend logically breaking the game down to a science, the less success I have. Even worse, it seems that as my understanding of these things grows, my enjoyment of them diminishes...

THE PARADOX OF UNDERSTANDING

I guess beneath my cool exterior I am still a nerd at heart and it's just in my nature to study things. But one thing life is teaching me is that there are certain phenomena that cannot be completely grasped by logic. Hell, even our illustrious scientists can't agree on the nature of reality these days! Improve your microscopes and the universe recedes into smaller particles you never imagined...build more impressive telescopes only to witness the universe expanding away from you to unfathomable depths. But we are never satisfied..."More electron power!" "Bigger telescopic mirrors!" "Just one more DJ tip of the Day!" This was me for far too long. It got to the point where I was picking up girls in my dreams. And let me tell you pal, nothing gives you a quicker wake-up call than when you experience ASD in a REM state! Actually, that's not true. Things got a little crazier for me before I snapped out of my obsession...

A RUDE AWAKENING

It all came to a head the day I finished editing down my journal into the massive WMS post. That night I hooked up with a girl I had been flirting with for a while, she made it blatantly obvious that she wanted me to stay for the night, so I packed my toothbrush, grabbed a pack of rubbers and hailed a cab. I got there and she greeted me at the door looking spectacular in her skimpy nighty. It was "all systems go" and we were fooling around in bed when I realized the horror of horrors. I could not get an erection! My mind was so busy developing military strategies to get in her pants that when I finally got there I could not even enjoy myself! It took me weeks to regain my confidence and realize that I was not impotent...I was simply placing too much importance on the outcome. Obsessed with my destination, I had forgotten how to enjoy the ride.

SHIFTING PRIORITIES

This, along with a few other incidents made me see that seduction mattered far too much to me. My very self-worth was dependent upon my success with women! I guess you can tell yourself you are the prize till you're blue in the face, but if you feel like you need to play BattleZone to get a piece of ass, then chances are, you don't really believe! It wasn't until I took a hiatus from SoSuave, that things started locking into place. My life got more balanced as I focused my attention on other areas that needed work. (Career, passions, exercise) I was doing these things before, but for the wrong reasons. I wanted to make myself the prize for THEM. Now I am doing it for me and it makes all the difference. I don't have to convince myself I am a great catch because I finally believe in my heart that any girl, no matter how gorgeous or sexy, would be extremely fortunate to lick my balls!

THE HOLY GRAIL SYNDROME

I still get emails from some of you who are curious about my "Current model of seduction". Is it Attract>>Rapport>>Isolate? Or is it PushPull>>Comfort>>Escalate? I just shake my head because in my world, there is no model of seduction. Every human interaction unfolds differently depending on the chemistry involved. The very fact that you want to turn this into nuclear physics shows that you've already lost the fight and this sh!t is far too important to you! Think about it. When you make a new guy friend, do you wonder if you used too much rapport with him? Exactly. Why should girls get this special treatment? Aside from having someplace you'd like to stick your penis, what makes them so goddamn special? Nothing, except for the artificial status you create for them IN YOUR MIND. If you ever feel like a woman may be out of your league, she truly is, because you have already used the awesome power of your awareness to raise her above you! Try all the techniques you want, but she will never see you as a man in this game till you realize that the real Holy Grail is the love and respect that you foster for yourself!

THE MYSTERY OF THE UGLY SEDUCER

So many times I have seen the most stunning women with unattractive men. I don't just mean average guys...we are talkin ugly with a capital UG! For so long I wondered how those repulsive bastards did it. I befriended quite a few of them to pick apart their game and I realized they were beyond games. On top of having interesting personalities, women were drawn to them because on a deep gut level, these guys did not care about impressing anybody. They gave off this vibe that made you want to impress them...but how? Simple. They didn't bend the truth for anyone. The hottest women are DESPERATE for men like this who will tell it like it is. They are so used to guys kissing their pretty little asses all day that it's a breath of fresh air (and a huge turn-on) to find someone with INTEGRITY. Never underestimate the power of being real!

THE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD OF SOSUAVE

I see a lot of old faces still posting here daily and wondering why progress seems so elusive. Well, DUH...probably because your main social outlet is an INTERNET FORUM! Everyone loves to complain about how none of the veterans post anymore, but no one really wants to face the reason behind it. These Master Don Juans no longer post simply because have bigger and better things to do! There is a very good chance you will find your game has skyrocketed when this place is no longer a priority for you. Don't get me wrong. I still think this forum rocks and it certainly has helped me tons. But a lot of the ideas here can be limiting and even misleading in their implications. With all the bootcamps, strategies and bibles, seduction begins to feel more like a Holy War than a natural process! While this is great for motivational purposes, the problem arises when women are placed squarely into the role of adversaries.

WOMEN ARE NOT THE ENEMY!

Seduction is not a struggle for supremacy. Your techniques are not like bullets or bombs aimed at a stationary target. This whole man/woman thing is more of a dance. A lot of us forget that women want sex as much as we do and they are excellent seducers. Part of your role in all this is helping them to seduce YOU. (Imagine that!) All they need from you is INITIATIVE. Just like dancing, you must lead them where you want them to be. The other day I picked up a girl with a compliment (gasp!) I told her she had the most beautiful eyes and she MELTED! No DHVs, no NEGs and no IOI's! You are not a performing monkey! All women want is a strong man who believes in himself and has the balls to take what he wants! Which raises another interesting paradox..

RIDDLE ME THIS

Would a man who truly believes in himself need constant reassurance from an online community?

Honestly...

There is a time to discover the truth and a time to embrace it. You can read about the science of swimming all you want, but it will never touch the volumes of information you will absorb when you DIVE RIGHT IN! Remember that it's called "game" because its more sports than academics. Your social and sexual instincts are what get you laid, not the dozens of acronyms in your head!

Looking back, I am still glad I found this place. It opened up a whole new world for me. But there is no comparison to the leaps and bounds I made once I abandoned my analysis and learned to go with the flow.

Just a little something to think about the next time you decide to whittle away your precious hours reflecting on the mechanics of human affection. Beneath the many layers of your fears and insecurities, you are already blessed with the natural ability to seduce and be seduced. Techniques and jedi mind tricks will never amount to the power locked away in your BALLS!

In short...

Stop reading so much and start living!

FINGZ

Try all the techniques you want, but she will never see you as a man in this game till you realize that the real Holy Grail is the love and respect that you foster for yourself!

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Absolutely!

Post like this bring me to my kness, realising someone else knows life, like I do; lives it like I do, and is loving it like it should be loved.

Read his post.

Think about his post.

Go out for a walk, somewhere quiet; or sit on the floor with no distractions; or do something so you're away from anything which can distraction your thoughts; and think about what you just read.

This is what you need to be doing. This isn't about patters, strategies, step by step how to's; this is about setting up your life, and loving yourself and what you are; and knowing that people WILL be drawn to that.

Everyone has gone so far in the extreme of there being a set of concrete rules to follow; now more than ever, you need to think of there being only two rules:

1. Love yourself for you. Make the best of you, that you can for you. And do what you love. Have a relationship with yourself!

2. There are no other rules

Everything else, which will come, women will come. It is all just a consequence of those two rules.

Hey man you're totally right. Even cutting down on my sosuave greatly improves my abilities. When I am successful, I don't think "Oh Pook said to do that! But how did the matrix tell me how to do it? Damn.." That **** is crazy right there.

What people really need is to back off from sosuave for a while like you've said. I really thing we need ideas, not techniques. You'll never find the secret at sosuave, and I think that's what your post is all about.

excellent post Fingz

Thanks for the kick in the ass, Fingz. I've been thinking way too much as of late.

"Don't think, feel. It is like a finger pointing a way to the moon. If you concentrate on the finger you will miss all that heavenly glory."--Bruce Lee

Fingz, when you are at a point where you dont look at this site for tips anymore.. but stick around to provide insight to others (and not break down the game but offer the way you feel about it).. i fail to see the reason to abandon all this just becuase "you are on a forum".

Yeah, when im in college and dont have a computer around i usually give a fukk about what is the new tip of the day on sosuave. I know what im doing.. i do it when i go out.. i do it when i am with girls.. so how in the world is coming to check on this forum once in awhile going to fukk up my game? The answer is, IT WONT.

My game is already there, it took 2 years to mold me, and it wont take a minute of reading break that.

P.S. I have taken at least 3-4 breaks from this site, each one well over a month long.. so for all you newer guys realize that i am way beyond everything this post mentioned.. but for you taking a break will help.

good post

I can relate to the part of your post where you mentioned that you had dreams of seducing women. I've had those same dreams. I'll admit, I think about this stuff way too often.

With all the good that sites like this or masf can do, the one downside of it seems to be the desire to over-complicate every little step. When you have someone coming up with 25 tips on how to stand, things have gone way too far. When people come up with 50 alphabet soup acrononyms to describe a simple interaction, things are going too far. When people memorize scripts longer than a shakespeare play, then rehearse them on 20 different women each evening, things have gone too far.

Lately I've been trying to deprogram a lot of the stuff I've learned and a lot of the techniques because honestly, for me anyway, the techniques have backfired a little too often. Behaving in a normal natural manner is so much more effective and like you said, so much more enjoyable.

Once again, you have come correct. Props.

Oxide, i think this was primarily meant for those (especially newbies) that feel the need to reply five times to every insightful post thats written and ask for it to be broken down to a scientific formula and want every single specific detail and variable explained.
This anxiety that they show on the forums is most likely carried with them when they actually start to interact with women.
But anyone can get a little carried away....

Didn't Bruce Lee have some saying like, "my techinique is no techinique" or something like that? I find that my 'game' is usually at it's best when im with a girl and im having too much fun to even think about "ok, how am i going to seduce her?"

...by the way Fingz, mind tellin' us how that, uh.. 'incident' with that girl ever turned out? lol

Absolutely!

So true, Señor. Macking satori!

But ain't it odd that most have to go through all that overthinking to get right back to that point?

My view has been like this lately also, this is why my post about the 'only winning move is not to play'. It's true. You can get yourself so caught up in a game that she is likely not even privy to or playing. It causes misinterpretations, and eventually desparation.

The best thing a man can do is just be himself, really. Say what you want, and how you feel. The right girl will respect you more for this. It's not about being superficial. Superficial girls will go for superfiicial guys, period. They'll just play along knowing it is a game anyway. One they have likely been thru time and time again.

Do you know a girl knows or not within the first 5 minutes of just looking at you whether she would have sex with you or not? It's true, they already know before you open your mouth. If you're not that attractive, then you would have to 'grow' on them and there would have to be chemistry and a considerable amount of time together.

There are just too many variables and everyone is different. You may have a nose she can't stand, or smile she can't refuse. Then, it isn't really about what you say, it's about not blowing it.

The biggest thing is if you know someone likes you, be patient and don't do anything to turn them off.

You can bag all these easily impressionable chics, just by talking to them. It has nothing to do with the game. If they're promiscuis and find you attractive, then they'll do you for fun. But keep in mind they're doing other guys like this in the same manner. You're nothing special, just another human vibrator.

Integrity and respect are the formost apparent traits to have for attracting a 'decent' girl.

The bad thing about this post is that so many people on this forum will be so busy praising Fingers that they will completely MISS what is being said here.

Great post man.

I agree with you 100%

I think this should be in the Bible.

Originally posted by disciple
Great post man.

I agree with you 100%

I think this should be in the Bible.

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This should be the bible

I was gonna write something very similar but now you've ruined it. Thank you very much Mr. Knowitall!

Originally posted by squirrels
The bad thing about this post is that so many people on this forum will be so busy praising Fingers that they will completely MISS what is being said here.

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...said the guy with the 3,000+ post count

Originally posted by disciple
I think this should be in the Bible.

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Ironic when u consider how Fingers disses the whole concept of the bible in this post.

My own take on this:

Nothing beats Caveman Mode. See Girl. Get Boner. Get girl home. Sex Good! Ugh!

But hey, if you want to approach that HB 9.8757743 from a 76 degree angle and reach an optimum voice inflection of 85% while you increase her attraction rate with secret Batman kino maneuvers, then more power to ya.

I think at the time, we all come to this site knowing that our "game" is in shambles. OBVIOUSLY something is amiss and us newbies have come here to seek out answers and advice.

I personally felt from experience that it was me and everything about me that was ruining my game, that everything I think, say or do will be reflected upon where I go wrong already. So I came here to figure those things out and become a guy I always invisioned being.

I'm sure many other newbies feel the same way, when it goes TOO far is when they rely TOOO much on this forum to help them out. That anything and everything has to be figured out and made into an easy to remember move or tip of advice instead of just going out and doing it.

I know that when it comes time, I will be at that place I've been looking to get to. Where everything Señor said I will believe without doubting it for one second. As a result, it'd be at that time where I would no longer need to come here for advice or answers because I feel I already have the complete set of fundamentals and components to take on anything that comes my way.

And if I understood properly, it isn't about using things or figuring out what to use to create success. It's doing what we as humans were set up to do, find mates, and to do it without the BS but by doing it the right way like we're supposed to.

One way I look at it, is that if all you're doing is treating it like a game and grabbing every tip and bit of advice to use for your next outing, then you'll fail. Because if you don't have the deep down core fundamentals in you already, then you'll never be able to figure out everything infront of you without having to ask about it first.

Like seduction, if all you're doing is asking how to seduce this one different girl each time, then you'll never be able to learn how to do it on your own.

I am leaving this site again..for a month at least. If you think you got the willpower not to log on and peek at this site every morning when you wake up and every night when you go to bed, then join me.

You know what Oxide, I'll join you......

I've been posting/reading since 2002. I'm going the way of the "old" masters.

Yeah, I'm probably not going to be around here as much anymore. I feel that my game is beyond most of what is talked about here, but it's still cool to be around a bunch of cool guys like yourselves.

Anyways, I've been thinking too much about the women in my life. I need time to focus on myself again.

Originally posted by Bonhomme
But ain't it odd that most have to go through all that overthinking to get right back to that point?

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I've seen this pattern with myself. You come here knowing nothing, read a ton of stuff, learn all the material, struggle with it, get pretty good with it, then hit a block in the road, take a break (bear with me, there's still more), come back, realize it wasn't the techniques at all, then you go back the way you were before and be yourself with the ladies and eveything else.

I did all that just to get back to where I was before I started? Some would say that's nuts. I wouldn't have it any other way though. My journey was worth everything I went through.

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