List of A few examples of ****y Funny things I have heard ...

Some ****y funny things I have seen or heard over the past few months.


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Girl: Hey, I've seen you all over campus today...
Guy: Yeah, I'm omnipresent..
Girl: Being omnipresent must be a pretty difficult thing to comprehend?
Guy: When you have a superior mind and intellect, it's quite easy...
Girl: That's great, cya around sometime..
Guy: Wait, I'll see you! I'm omnipresent, remember! Omnipresent!
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*Girl in cafeteria walks through lunch line with a tray; Obvious she has dyed her hair blond*
Guy: *walks up to her* Wow! With all of the fake blonds in the world it's such a relief to find a real one for once...
Girl: *playfully whacks guy with her tray*
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Girl: So,what's your major in college?
Guy: I major in homemaking; I'm an aspiring househusband.
Girl: *Laughs*
Guy: Not really
Guy: So, what's your major?
Girl: Guess!
Guy: Lion Taming?
Girl: No
Guy: Equine Management?
Girl: No
Guy: Seal Juggling?
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Guy: You know, I can marry a girl like you!
Girl: Really?
Guy: Ohh yeah, I'll devorce you a week later and take all of your money.
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Girl: Where did you get such gorgeous eyes?
Guy: Thanks, they were a gift from the milkman.
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Guy: Studying fruits and vegitables, eh?
Girl: How did you know that?
Guy: Well, because I know everything
Girl: *hysterical laughter*
Guy: Ohh yeah, ask me anything. I know all the world's answers!
Girl: So, what's you name?
Guy: I'm not psychic, cya around ...
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Girl: What's your favorite color?
Guy: I like them all, they are like my children...
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Girl: Do you have a girlfriend?
Guy: Several, got a calculator?
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Girl": Do you have a girlfriend?
Guy: I sure do, I carry her around in a cardboard box..
Guy: She's the mini variety...
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Girll: are you married?
Guy: That's it! I want a divorce!
Girl: From me?
Guy: I just can't take the abuse.
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*Girls who are following guy around and blocking his way to somewhere*
Guy: Do you girls make a hobby of following me around or something?
Guy: You know, for a bunch of stalker girls, you're pretty cute..
Girls: *giggle and run off*
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Girl: What's your favorite color?
Guy: I like them all, they are like my children...
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Girl: Do you have a girlfriend?
Guy: Several, got a calculator?

Click to expand...

Those two are great. I'll have to use them sometime.

My personal fave... and original btw...



girl: I'll see you tomorrow.
guy: yeah, wear high heels... I like high heels.