Introduction to Irony

[VictorM]

Hi, Im new here. I apologize for the horrible grammar and sentence structure in advance.

Names Vic, Iv been around the block a few times, im no slouch with woman. I have what most people would say is a great career. I have pushed myself further than many people do in situations of mental hardship.

Despite this, I came here for a reason. My personality and confidence sucks, or at least in my opinion.

A little back story, Ill try and keep it brief but I will probably fail as I over analyze and ramble on.

I just broke up with a keeper. A girlfriend, nay, a true friend, of 3 years. I met her at my second duty station. (We are both active duty Air Force) Many threads here are dedicated to the "warning signs" and "red flags" and this girl had none of them. I pushed this girl to the brink and still she came back to shower me in everything a DJ or just plain man would want. Sex, good looks, fun, care free, drama free you name it. She had my back and probably would have followed me to the ends of the earth. So why did I break it off? Why would something so many men look for. (lets not get it twisted, even though this site is about pulling woman, no man wants to die alone, good looks are NOT forever) I did it because of the simple and so true notion, that you cannot love someone if you do not first love yourself. I pull chicks, but I am not confident, I am not ugly but my personality can be. I have self esteem issues that are hidden by putting up false walls of being an "*******" and "I dont care if you dont like me". This hurts my relationship with male friends but it helps me preserve my self esteem. I dont take chances in meeting new people. I am in debt from an obsession with self gratification. I have no self control. I have a good career at the tip of my fingers but I dont like what I do. I have an even harder time making and keeping good quality friends. Bros, wingman that I can call friends for life. To sum it up, I am not happy with my self right now and It all comes down to one thing. My self esteem.

In a long term comfortable relationship your personal development WILL suffer if you are not already at a place in your life you like being. I didnt work out anymore, I didnt try and make or maintain friends. I was comfortable being with her 24/7 and in some cases ignoring her for anti social behaviors like video games. I was in a spiral of anti social behavior because I had no real need to go out and be social with other people that could somehow hurt my self esteem.

I am somewhat bipolar in my self esteem issues. I have highs and lows. One second I look in the mirror and Im tom ****ing cruise, but I have the charisma and likeability of woody allen. I over anyalyze everthing, I am too opinionated and grumpy, pessemistic. I call it being logical and a realistic but people key on on it as me just not being a fun person to be around. I try and be more relaxed and go with the flow but I always find myself being too quiet, so I open my mouth again and out comes something overly political, pessemistic or not with the flow of the conversation.

My self esteem was ten times worse in highschool. Where I first really struggled in making male friends. I had some but not the ones I wanted, not the ones that where helping boost my self esteem. The people I was around either did nothing to help or had the same self esteem issues I did. I had many hot woman who thought I was cute and many chances to **** them. But my personality was my weak point and I should have learned early on that personality is way more inprotant to woman, yes, even in highschool. All it took was one lucky break with one smoking hot chick with enough of her own personality issues to compliment mine. She was one of the ones the alphas seeked out. A cheerleader. Imediately I was respected by my fellow man. I got into the clique I wanted to be in. By sorrounding myself with these "alphas" I was elevated into a world of more and more beutiful woman and so my self-esteem skyrocketed as well.

In highschool, that is what gains you respect right? More so than being trustworthy, loyal, fun to hang around? And isnt that what really totes our ego? Respect of other men? Other men wanting to emulate us? Sorround themselves with us. So they can also feast on the success? Whether it be woman or money? I dunno if you all can be honest with yourself as I have but I believe that the undieing pursuit of being DJ and getting woman left and right is really about getting other men to like and respect you. ***** is *****. Its generally all the same. Sure there is fun to be had in exploring the subtle differences in a womans need or desire or moan but to your **** its all the same once you find a nice tight one. If that's not Irony I don't know what is.

Yes I understand that it is primeaval drive to mate with as many woman as possible and spread our genes but I had a great woman, iv had many beutiful woman and yet my confidence and self worth is still not where I want it to be. I know if my personality was given a lot of work Id pull more. Im sure of it. The fact I am in a career that gives me no job satisfaction has a lot to do with it as well but the lack of male friends, I believe, is the greatest thing for me. Somehow in my warped mind going back to the basics of DJing it up will bring me more friends, allow me to further develop my personality and confidence to a point where I can be confident enough with myself that falling in love isnt an embarrasing or weak thing to do. So I suppose my main goal here is to find the knoledge nessecary to work on my personality. of being fun and confident with not only woman but my fellow man.

So thats why I broke it off with such an amazing woman. The one that I threw away. I had no cliche, no possie, no group of wingman to go chase woman with. I hope it turns out to be worth the loss and I do get to that sweet spot in loving thyself.


Now I didnt just come here to lie on the couch and spill my heart out to you all about my problems. I wanted to give you a little background on myself, what I hope to get out of this forum, and maybe provide you reading material which you can pull a few lessons out of yourself.

My first tips -

-Dont **** where you sleep. Reputation suffers, and in some cases, like in the work place can cause serious issues. You wana talk about impossible to get woman try breaking the hearts of enough woman in one small town. Take "hoes in different area codes" to heart ( I fail at this time and time again)

-Ensure a good break off point when feelings start getting involved. We arent cold animals, we have evolved from that and men are just as easily hurt as woman. Being a man is not hurting good woman who dosent deserve it just so you can get your **** wet a little longer. Move on before emotions get involved and the both of you are liable to drink alone with a tub of rocky road. ( I think I finnaly learned this one)

-Be honest with yourself. Only when you acknowledge a problem exist can you change it. I have a feeling that truley realizing that my ******* attitude is just a cover up to protect my self esteem I can get out of my comfort zone be an enjoyable person to be around, and start making the friends I need and want.

- Never cheat on a girlfriend. If you two are official and you cheat, word will get out. You will find your ******* jerk persona only goes so far for cheaters. To woman, and most men, cheaters are the worst kind of scum. If you want to multi-woman it up make sure its clear to both you arent gf/bf status.

[BigSmooth]

Good post man. Funny how things tend to work out. It's hard to see you toss away the woman that potentially is THE WOMAN for you, but if it was necessary in order for you to improve yourself, then so be it.

Seems like there are some things that you could improve on, and if you ever feel the need to discuss on how to improve or change, feel free to post in the Discussions section of this forum as your thread will get more views.

~BSmooth

[betheman]

Originally Posted by VictorM

- Never cheat on a girlfriend. If you two are official and you cheat, word will get out. You will find your ******* jerk persona only goes so far for cheaters. To woman, and most men, cheaters are the worst kind of scum. If you want to multi-woman it up make sure its clear to both you arent gf/bf status.

this isnt always the case, guy at work, natural DJ, doesst even have to try, married, 3 kids, cheats al the time with lots of women. the women at work, married, with BF's or single, would happily be next in line, some of them even help him hook up with women. is he viewed as a jerk? certainly not, he is held in high regard by most women because he can and does, get, women!