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The ULTIMATE Guide to Beating/Avoiding Oneitis! Revised Edition

silverwex

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How to get over that dreaded... oneitis!

A lot of you may have contracted that dreaded disease/feeling of oneitis! Here's a few tips on how to get over it/avoid it in the future. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about here - I've been there so many times...


AVOIDING ONEITIS

Unfortunately, there's no 'condom' or magic pill you can use to avoid picking oneitis up so you gotta be very careful when you date/meet a new girl. Here are some of the major things that bring on oneitis - AVOID these actions:


Seeing the girl too often
Try and only see her once (twice - MAX) a week. The more you see her the more you'll grow to like her and the less of a challenge you'll become. I recently came out of oneitis. What brought it on for me was that my DJ mindset was telling me: 'Hey silverwex, calm it down man, only see her once a week ok?!' But my dyck was saying 'Meet her now and tomorrow and the next day!". Unfortunately my dyck won my mind over and i blew it. So DONT SEE HER MORE THAN TWICE A WEEK!


Jumping in too soon
Never get too serious with her too soon. Review the situation (e.g. Does she REALLY like me? Is she potential LTR material? etc.) and then act accordingly. If she has high IL be a challenge! If she has medium-low IL BE A CHALLENGE too. You jump in too soon and you get kicked out twice as fast! So stand back and let her do the chasing/jumping in!


Thinking about her 24/7
Big bad move my friends! KEEP BUSY! Take up new hobbies, immerse yourself in your work, see your friends! Go clubbing etc. Just take your mind off her. I know it's hard but try! The more you do it the easier it'll get!


Ringing her/Texting her/Talking to her
Dont ring her more than twice a week. When you're on the phone to her ALWAYS keep it short my friends. Cut off the conversation after, at most, TEN MINUTES. Always cut it off on a high note though. Keep her laughing and guessing and then when its on a high say something like: "Hey listen i better go now, got things to do! Talk to you later."




OVERCOMING ONEITIS

This is hard! It's never easy my friends for if it was, you wouldnt have oneitis in the first place!

DO these to overcome that dreaded feeling:


See/Date other Girls
When the bad bad feeling hits say: "Right im hurting now, but im gonna do something about it!". Get a few of your boys and go out! Drink, be merry and chat up other ladies! The best way to get over a girl is to get under another, as they say! Get some numbers, use C+F, kino, neg-hits etc and seduce other women! You'll feel so much better! And if the woman you have oneitis for sees you doing this it'll say to her: "FVCK YOU! I dont need you - look at me! Im having a laugh with other women! HAHA! I can do better than you!".


Hang with your Boys
Right this is what I did when i was trying to overcome that bad feeling - I hung around my friends! Usually Id be stuck at home in the evenings on my own after work but when i contracted this disease I said to myself "Right, im not gonna be alone ANY night this week!" So i went for a walk/drink/chilling session with the boys and it took my mind of things, do this for as long as it takes, especially in the evenings (thats when it hits you bad!) and soon enough you'll start to feel better. Do whatever ya want with you friends, go for a drink, go see a film, go chat chicks up, play soccer/football whatever!!! BUT DONT STAY AT HOME DEPRESSED! If you do itll get worse and worse!


Avoid the places where she socialises (for the time being...)
If she goes out at the weekend to certian nightspots AVOID THESE PLACES! Because you'll see her out and those bad feelings will return. Im not saying "Let her choose where you should go!" or "Shes got power over you!" but just avoid these places until you get over her. Trust me, its the best way! Then when you're over her go out to these places and get other chicks - shell see this and may even get jealous! Youll also be saying to her "I dont need you! Im having fun without you!"


Think of previous oneitis'
I've NEVER heard this been said on this site before BUT remember those girls in the past that you had oneitis for? Well how do you feel bout them now? Nothing? EXACTLY! Realise that this oneitis is the EXACT same and youll look back soon thinking "WHAT DID I SEE IN HER?!" and/or "Gosh the girl im into now, who is also into me, is SO much cooler than she ever was!" This is a great technique as it really puts things into perspective!


Get Busy!
Immerse yourself in your work, hobbies whatever! If you dont work or have hobbies - get a job/get a new hobby! It helps immensely! And you get to meet other chicks through these means! Dont just sit there saying "Yeah youre right man!" Actually go do it... NOW!!!


Avoid listening to THOSE songs
You know those songs that are so AFC they make you sick? The slow ones? The ones that are totally un-DJ like? Yeah, well avoid them as when you listen to them they only amplify your feelings and really depress/upset you!


Visit this Forum
Yes, this is one of the best places to get through oneitis. I came here every day when i had oneitis and asked advice, read new articles etc and it helped me loads! If i hadnt done this i would still be wallowing in my self pity right now! But im not! Thanks sosuave.com


Read the Bible
No! Not the Holy Bible! (Well do that if you want ) Read the excellent DJ Bible, the link is at the top of this page!


Ask and You Shall Receive!
And finally, ASK US for advice! We fellow DJ's will help ya through by whatever means we can! Just post and we'll get back to ya! Thats what we're here for!


Remind yourself that you're a DJ
Keep telling yourself this and continue to practice what sosuave.com tells you! It helps!


YOURE NOT ALONE IN ONEITIS - FOR YOU HAVE YOUR FELLOW DJS HERE BY YOUR SIDE!OVERCOMING ONEITIS AVOIDING ONEITIS
 

DJmonster

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I've was very susceptible to oneitis for a long time. The disease affected all aspects of my life, influencing my decisions, and slowing me down. Discovering this site has really helped me treat the disease.

Great Post! I think it's really important to change the music you listen to. If a song reminds you of her, don't listen to it! I used to listen to sappy songs when no one was around. Now I've trained myself to despise that crap. Men shouldn't listen to any mickey mouse club ****, punk songs about being dumped, country songs about being lonely, or any pop music with AFC lyrics.
 

silverwex

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Yeah, i tend to listen to house music/uplifting music that gets ya in a good mood! Helps a lot! :)
 

Mackamillion

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Thanks silverwex, I really needed to read something like this today. I'm trying to get over a bad case of Oneitis, and this sh@t has been driving me crazy. But I know that it will soon go away, just like my other cases of Oneitis.
 

The Main Event

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Originally posted by silverwex
How to get over that dreaded... oneitis!

Think of previous oneitis'

I've NEVER heard this been said on this site before BUT remember those girls in the past that you had oneitis for? Well how do you feel bout them now? Nothing? EXACTLY! Realise that this oneitis is the EXACT same and youll look back soon thinking "WHAT DID I SEE IN HER?!" and/or "Gosh the girl im into now, who is also into me, is SO much cooler than she ever was!" This is a great technique as it really puts things into perspective!
Had to smile when I saw this one; it's exactly the strategy I used to pick myself up last time I fell into the oneitis trap.

You're dead right about it giving you perspective. One caveat though. That's intellectual perspective, which can't completely cure an emotional disease. But it sure helps.

In the section about avoiding oneitis you mentioned that there's no fail-safe "condom". Same applies for pulling yourself together after a oneitis has gone pear-shaped; there's no cure-all "morning after pill". In cases like that, time is the only true healing agent. Strategies like this one, however, help time do its thing that little bit faster.

A very nice post, silverwex. Probably the best discussion of oneitis I've read, and definitely one of the most valuable tips to have popped up on this board in recent times. I look forward to reading more of your posts.


I am
The Main Event.
 

silverwex

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Thanks Main Event.

I agree with ya man, time is THE best healer. These are just catalysts to hurry up the process.

You see a lot of peeps looking for that 'quick cure' which just DOESNT exist!

Feel free to vote for my post people! :)
 

DonJohn83

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If you're looking for a temporary fix, try listening to some uplifting music like someone above mentioned.

I remember when i was getting over my ONE-ITIS, i used to pump some 'player' style music.

Montell Jordan - Everybody (Get Down) is a good one.

It was about how he was at a club when some HB took his fancy, bu he thinks to himself: i might see something better, so ill come back to her later, right now i gotta flow.

And he does find something better, but again puts her on the back burner while he looks for something EVEN BETTER. And over again.

Brings out the polygamous player inside.
 

Evil-Rom

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Great post. :)
 
Z

zellkou

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Ive read that article a hundred times did everything i kno to forget this girl but nothing works. I guess a little history might shed some light on the problem. I met the chick about Oct last year i was introduced by a mutal friend no problems we would hang out at lunch just friends nothing more she was cute but i wasnt looking for a GF hell i didnt kno her name for a month just her nick name 'egg'(its russian for testicle but thats a even longer story so just accept it) before i knew her real name which ill leave out of this post. then i guess it was Jan i started becoming infatuated with her at the time i thought it was love. so i confered with a guy i kno who later introduced me to this site just a little to late to help. and he told how i should do it so i did and i was turned down so as a last ditch effort i told her that i loved her and that was to no avail. but she was still talking to me then one day ask me that if me was to ask me to carve her name into if i would i said yes then she told to not do it but i did anyway twice to tell the truth. that was the end of Feb so for the whole month of march i poped pain killers to numb myself to the pain of her memory and i also refuse to talk to her or go near her for that time. By Apr i quit the pills and slowly began talking to her again and i was over her so no feelings of guilt or wanting her. i only talked to her occasionaly but in those few times talking to her i found out that she is a lesbain and that helped to lighten the growing thoughts of her as i feel for her again. and now i am once again infatuated with her and i am asking for any help on forgeting her. i havent talked to or seen her in a month. i have emmersed in a life full of other women and new hoobies and new music. but still i think of her. any ideas are appreceated.
 

Intense

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Outstanding post my friend...

It is interesting that the concept of thinking about past cases of oneitis was brought up. During my last case of oneitis, this is what helped me the most. It shows you that you can overcome oneitis and that you've done it before.

Aside from old oneitis cases, a combination of the techniques listed in the original post have been nails in helping me get over oneitis. I think one of the strongest tips is to get out and talk to other girls! Once I start getting involved with another hot chic, my oneitis seems to quickly fade.

Last but not least, just say "fvck it." Just tell yourself that she is just another dumb broad (because she is) and that hott chics are a dime a dozen.
 

madgame

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"i have emmersed in a life full of other women and new hoobies and new music. but still i think of her. any ideas are appreceated."


What do you mean by "a life full of other women" ? Are you actually dating them making out with them, sleeping with them?

If you dont I bet there is a great chance that youll be able to beat your ONEitis by doing so. I know its not as easy as it sounds.........."just **** close 10 HB10s" - yeah right :rolleyes: but from my experience those stupid infatuation feelings fade as quickly as they came if you get another chick (or even better more other chicks..)
 

silverwex

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Madgame:

Exactly, the best way to get over oneitis is just to go out and score some chicks! They dont even have to be 10s!

Always works! Just believe us when we say that guys!
 
R

RingOFire

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silverwex, your post applies to me so much it's scary. I have been seeing this girl for the past 7 months or so way too much. Calling her all the time, thinking about her 24/7 that it is driving me absolutely crazy. So *****whipped its disgusting! I believe I have become less of a challenge for her because of my behavior (she claims I'm too sweet). We became too close too fast then things got really weird. Her friends would get mad at her for not spending time with them and then she would get mad and blame me! She now thinks we should become "friends first" before our relationship goes any further. Whatever. F***ing chicks can be weird! Thanks.
 

SteR

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silver I agree totally with EVERYTHING you've said, ESPECIALLY about the feelings being worse in the evening. Only problem is I can't find a lot to do in the evening because it gets darker sooner (it's winter :)) and the evenings seem to drag on for ages!
The other problem is the girl whom I was infatuated with lives in the same house as me, 2 yards from my room :(. I see her everyday and although during the day I don't give a **** about her it's only in the evenings when I'm at the house just playin on the computer and thinking. I really wanna get over this ***** because I know she isn't worth my trouble it's just hard when she's right next door to me
 

silverwex

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Man, i feel ya.

Is there any hobbies you could take up? Hit the gym? Take up karate? Hang with mates? Go for a few buds?

Know what i mean?
 

SteR

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lol man I'm already hitting the gym 5x a week, playing football 3x a week and I'm out on the piss at least 2x a week it's just the other days I can find myself feeling very low because I keep dwelling on it. Of course when I'm out or whatever I'm fine, especially when I'm hitting on other women ;). Not really sure what to do though :p
 

silverwex

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Wow, nice busy life ya got there man!

Suppose the only thing i can say is continue to hit on other chicks! U always find a better one! ALWAYS! Its freaky.

Where bouts ya from neway man?
 
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