Your favorite ****y/funny lines

Lets start a thread with everyone favorite ****y & Funny lines that you can use. What are your favorite ****y and funny phrases that always get good responses?

"Are you following me?"

Hey man do a search there are seriously a million threads exactly like this one with a ton of lines in them.

Scene.. she sits somewhere with her hands out on her sides. I sit on the hands and say, "Why is your hand on my ass.. HUH? WHY WHY WHY?"

or

I like the, brush your arm against hers and say, "Watch it punk!"

"nice shoes wanna ****?" that one cracks me up, nothing I would hope anyone would use but its funny.

I use this when an HB8.5-9.9 tries to give me attitude...

HB: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah......Blah!
ME: Wow! Usually only really really hot girls try to give me attitude like that.

Works very well most of the time!

There pretty funny ones. But remember if u havent doen acting before it might screw up on you if you try to remember something and say it out. To be funny timing and tone is CRUCIAL, and it has to befit your character. So i suggest you just be c/f in your own way within context and whatever situation you are in. It makes you more funny and original. Ofcourse remmebering lines work if u can do it well, but it works alot better if you make them up yourself and you will gain a skill aswell. Plus imagine yourself saying a C/F line that some other guy has said before, EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK how unoriginal would that be. I wouldent be caught dead being unoriginal unless im teasing someone.

eg/ I have heard some REALLY funny ones on here that i wanted to try. But when i was in a situation to try it, i gave out 4 or 5 of my oen C/Fs without even knowing it, and before i had the ability to even say the one i memorised. And i am an actor, so there u go.

When a chick hands you your groceries, merchandise, food, etc., look into the bag as if she forgot to put something in it.

Her: What's wrong?

You: You forgot something!

Her: What?

You: Your number!

....i know corny and made up! HAHA!




Tristan

Nah thats good man, the corny ones that you make up on the spot are usually the best ones. Once you get a girl thinking your funny you can say the most dumbest non funniest lamest **** in the world, and she will laugh. She will even laugh at the fact that you stuffed up and you are usually a genuinely funny person in a GOOD way.

when i see a chick that is trying to impressus DJ with their materials im like " you look hansome today" haha oh well it makes them say wha tha , and smile

You gotta be an opportunist.

Last night while driving....

Her: Did we just drive by a sewer plant or something?

Me: Uh...I dunno, I thought that was YOU.

Her: (blushing, slaps me on the arm) Hehehe, that's not nice!

Me: It's okay, really. It's natural. Do we need to swing by the drugstore and pick up some anti-gas medication?

Her: Hehehe...STOP!

On the way back we drive thru the same area...

Me: Wow, that's funny.

Her: What?

Me: That you had the exact same problem earlier when we were driving through this area.

Maybe I shouldn't be giving you Mexican food....

The guy above me is right, you gotta be an opportunist. I usually do pretty good if it comes to C+F. Even better if I woke up with a good mood.
...But unfortunately I always screw up after I raised her IL by using C+F.