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>>Secrets of Seductive Conversation [Must Read]

PickupSkills

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Fundamental Conversation Strategy
by Jake Stevens (www.pickupskills.com)

Note: Before reading this article, it’s recommended that you first read “The 3 Elements of Conversation” to get a better understanding of the following techniques.

The Most Common Mistake in Conversation

The single most common mistake many men make in conversation is asking too many questions. Questions are necessary and play an important role in conversation but they must be used wisely. Asking too many questions makes it sound like an interview, while asking too few questions can make it seem as if you’re not very interested in what she has to say. Any which way you look at it, you’ll be classified as a “boring” conversationalist.

The solution to this problem is to incorporate the other two elements of conversation–comments and disclosures–into the mix. Comments and disclosures combined with questions add more variability and less predictability to the conversation. There’s a simple and effective method to it all.

Follow Up Comments

Whenever you ask questions or the woman voluntarily speaks, the first thought that should trigger in your mind is how you will comment on whatever it is that she’s talking about. Here’s an example we’ll use for the remainder of the lesson:

You: “How often do you go out?”
Her: “Almost every night”

As she’s responding, you should be thinking about how to comment on what she’s saying, not about what question to ask next. This exercise does wonders in sharpening your listening skills.

You: “Now that sounds like hard work!”

Note how I commented on her response rather than asking a predictable follow up question like, “Where do you like to go?” It takes a higher level of listening to make a follow up comment than it does to ask a follow up question.

If you also had a follow up question in your mind that you were tempted to use but didn’t, then you are on the right path. Although you didn’t follow with a question, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have had one in the back of your mind.

As a general rule, always formulate at least one follow up question and keep it in your head even if you may not use it. We’ll see why potential follow up questions are so important later in the lesson.

Follow Up Disclosures

This brings us to the next part of the lesson. What if you can’t think of any witty or humorous follow up comments? Sometimes it will be difficult to quickly come up with a spontaneous comment, especially if you’re new to the skill. When you’ve tried your best to make a follow up comment but simply can’t, then your second option is to follow up with a disclosure. Let’s see how this works:

You: “How often do you go out?”
Her: “Almost every night”
You: “Really? I used to be able to do that!”

This time I followed up with a statement of self-disclosure rather than a comment.

A follow up question should usually be your last option once you’ve tried to follow with either a comment or a disclosure. Apply this methodical procedure to as many of the questions you ask as you can. It will prevent you from ever being categorized as an “interviewer” and/or a boring conversationalist.

Follow Up Questions

Now that we’ve covered some of the basics of conversation strategy, we can take the concepts a step further.

I mentioned earlier that it was important to also always have relevant follow up questions in mind. The reason for this is to allow you to keep the conversation from stalling and becoming awkward if the follow up comment(s) or disclosure(s) doesn’t provide enough conversational stimulation.

Most of the time follow up comments and disclosures will act as “prompters”. They’ll usually prompt women to speak or prompt them to ask you questions. Let’s revisit the example:

You: “How often do you go out?”
Her: “Almost every night”
You: “Now that sounds like hard work!”

In this case the follow up comment will act as a prompter, prompting her to speak again.

Her: Giggling, “Yeah, I know, it’s like a full-time job!”

Notice that she responded with a humorous comment of her own. She wasn’t aware of it but she had actually used the same exact technique you just used on her -- a follow up comment based on the last thing said.

When you comment on a woman’s response, 8 times out of 10 they will be prompted to say something in return. Use it as relevancy fuel.

From the comment the girl made in response to yours, you can actually go through the same process again. You can look to comment or disclose based on what she said. If you wanted to comment you could have said, “You’re a wild one!” and she would have laughed before saying something in response.

Likewise, if instead you had wanted to disclose for whatever reason, you could have said, “I may not be able to keep up with that!” and this would have made her laugh as well. But in this instance she most likely would have thrown the same question right back at you with, “How often do you go out?” Normally, whenever you disclose, women naturally will be prompted to ask you questions to find out more about you.

This entire process can continue on endlessly, but be careful not to become a one-sided conversationalist in this regard. You don’t always need to stick to only using a follow up comment or only using a follow up disclosure. You can combine them and use them both at the same time as well.

By combining them, you would have followed with, “You’re a wild one! I may not be able to keep up with that!” The first sentence was the follow up comment and the second sentence the disclosure. Always remember to add spice to the conversation whenever possible.

These follow up techniques all hinge on the woman responding to your comment or disclosure. So what do you do when she doesn’t respond to a follow up comment or disclosure? This is when you use one of the follow up questions that you formulated and patiently kept around in your head. Let’s go back to the example we’ve been working with:

You: “How often do you go out?”
Her: “Almost every night”
You: “Now that sounds like hard work!”
Her: Laughs (but no response)

The difference in this situation is that the woman doesn’t respond to the comment like she did previously and so you’re forced to follow with something, preferably a question to keep the rapport going smooth.

You: “Where do you like to go?”

Here was a follow up question that was relevant to the original question (“How often do you go out?”) and her response to it (“Almost every night”). Other potential questions could have been, “Where do you get all that energy from?” or “How do you make so much time?”

You can now start this strategic conversational procedure all over again as she responds. This time around however, you’ll be deeper into the topic of conversation and thus will usually have more to work with, in terms of sub-topics.

Once you get into the habit of making follow up comments and disclosures, adding in follow up questions is a cinch. With creative usage of these three elements the possibilities and variations in conversation are virtually limitless.

As long as you stay focused on the conversation, you can keep it going as long as you
want and it will always be exciting. These three elements and the strategies behind them are what make conversation fun, interesting and spontaneous. And it doesn’t matter so much what you’re talking about. It’s the intricacies of conversation that carry the most weight.

Summary

These three elements of conversation allow you to easily move from point to point during conversation without sounding like you’re interrogating women. With a firm grounding in the fundamentals of conversation strategy you can handle all the twists and turns of spontaneity in conversation. In essence, you’re able to bend and match to anything thrown your way.

Questions are the backbone of conversation and will allow you to set off a chain of rapport when combined with comments and disclosures. The general strategy can be summed up in four general steps:

Step One: Ask a question (or follow up question)
Step Two: Try to follow up with a comment
Step Three: Try to follow up with a disclosure
Step Four: Ask a follow up question

As you become more comfortable with this simple and effective conversation strategy, look to become more creative with these powerful tools and concepts you now possess. You can see how this basic conversation strategy is used in the dialogue example of this supermarket pickup.

-Jake Stevens
Master Pickup Artist
www.pickupskills.com
 

BMW

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Jake,
are you another who is trying to make money off of guy's insecurties. More power to you bro ;-)
 

Demon

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If someone paid me to write a 6-7 page book on seduction through manipulation and powerhording, I'd write it. ;) That doesn't seem likely though.
 

Batman407

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Or you guys could just read Conversationally Speaking or take a speech class in school.... I did both and the results really show.
 

PickupSkills

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Originally posted by BMW
Jake,
are you another who is trying to make money off of guy's insecurties. More power to you bro ;-)
No, it’s quite the opposite--I’m trying to share experience-based knowledge and skill with those who want it. There’s no particular “type” of person I’m targeting. I consider picking up women, dating, managing simultaneous relationships, and everything else I do related to getting women, as intense labor. Some may disagree with that, but it’s an investment of my own time and money. I work hard and I’m amazing at what I do. The most labor intensive part for me is organizing and presenting my skills by writing lessons that are easy to understand and learn from. This is one of the drawbacks you face when you can “do” better than you can teach. So, in short, having additional spending money is always nice, but it’s something that ranks near the bottom of my list.

-Jake Stevens
Master Pickup Artist
 

A1SteakSauce

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Those who can do . . .

. . . and the rest sit around and slap their foreheads reading the fascinating super-market convo's of men who simply amaze themselves with their ability to chat up strange women about nothing and get their phone #'s.

And YOU CAN TOO for only $44.95 for 3 mo's :)

Next!

A1
 

Boricua_33015

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this is actually a very good post. Props mang
 

PANK

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Thankyou this is great advice.I do this with sucsess, HOWEVER, i do get mental blocks sometimes, do you have an answear to this when you feel like you just dont know,dont tell me there are always answears cuz i know but do you have any imediate cool questions that i can learn off by heart.THANKS AGAIN.
 

legolas

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Yeah it's okay. I read the supermarket pick-up and found it okay. Too many So-s in starting comments and I liked the sexual innuendos throughout mixed with humor. There is a lot that we're missing from the conversation, like all the non-verbals. Nothing special in it.

I've had conversations that went up to some point but it always seemed like my lawnmower, I kept pulling the cord to start the engne and it would run for a second and stop again. I kept pulling the cord but soon I was tired. and it got me nowhere.

Is there a point where you would choose to simply buy a new lawnmower?
 

PickupSkills

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Clarifications

Originally posted by Boricua_33015
this is actually a very good post. Props mang
Thanks. You definitely have a keen eye when if comes to separating the useful from the useless. I’ve been told by some of my students that the concepts contained within this article are so useful/practical that if they could read only one article about seduction, they’d read this one. Who am I to argue. For some, the fundamentals are all they need.

Originally posted by PANK
Thankyou this is great advice.I do this with sucsess, HOWEVER, i do get mental blocks sometimes, do you have an answear to this when you feel like you just dont know,dont tell me there are always answears cuz i know but do you have any imediate cool questions that i can learn off by heart.THANKS AGAIN.
No problem, I like to give out freebies from time to time. I’m glad you’re having success with this conversational strategy. Mental blocks shouldn’t occur very often when you’re employing this method correctly. The reason being is that the block has to go through at least three lines of defense before affecting the conversation: comments, disclosures, and follow up questions. So the first question you should be asking is if there are any cool comments to learn by heart. The answer to that question is no. They’re dependent upon women’s responses at the time. Same thing with disclosures and follow up questions.

However I do understand your concern about having stock questions to work with, “just in case”. Unfortunately I can’t reveal the technique behind those. But included in the comprehensive pick up strategy on my site are great stock questions that lead into various topics and sub-topics, which in turn are dependent upon the specific situation and the time-frame. If you haven’t joined, you can do so now and check it out. You have nothing to lose, everything to gain.

Originally posted by legolas
Yeah it's okay. I read the supermarket pick-up and found it okay. Too many So-s in starting comments and I liked the sexual innuendos throughout mixed with humor. There is a lot that we're missing from the conversation, like all the non-verbals. Nothing special in it.
The dialogue example of the supermarket pickup serves only to clarify the concepts in this particular conversational strategy. Some learn better through complete examples while others prefer conceptual description. Almost the entire pickup used only the tools contained within this lesson. Many of the So-s were used in conjunction with questions to create a smoother shift of ideas as well as add light-heartedness to the conversation.

Originally posted by legolas
I've had conversations that went up to some point but it always seemed like my lawnmower, I kept pulling the cord to start the engne and it would run for a second and stop again. I kept pulling the cord but soon I was tired. and it got me nowhere.

Is there a point where you would choose to simply buy a new lawnmower?
Conversations can certainly take their toll on you, especially if you’re doing most of the initiation of it. One of the subtle concepts in this strategy is the forming of an environment in which the woman gets involved in the “cord pulling” as well. This is done through follow up comments and disclosures. As was mentioned in the lesson, they can act as “prompters”, encouraging women to speak and ask questions without you having to fire question after question in an attempt to “try to keep the engine running”. You shouldn’t have to go out and buy that new lawnmower. :)

Hopefully I’ve cleared up any misunderstandings…

-Jake Stevens
Master Pickup Artist
 

thejuice

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PANK...how to avoid mental block

Im not sure if this is part of your strategy pickup skills but what i do to avoid a block in the conversation is simply to have a goal in mind when going into it

When you have a goal in mind, whatever you say will be focused on achieving what you set for yourself - whether it is getting her phone number, getting her to bed, etc. You see, you already know what you want, thus what you want to say (to get what you want) should be clearer to you

I posted a tip on this before...try a search

thejuice
 

Boricua_33015

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"The 3 Elements of Conversation"? Where can I find this?
 

Goku

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wow, i have been doing this all my life without even realizing it. at times when i seem to have lost my conversation skills, i would always ask question after question. and as you already know, the girls is getting real bored! by on other days where my skill is at its peak, i use comments and disclosures without even realizing it.
for some reason, i couldn't tell the differences between my good days and my off days. but now thanks to this post, i know the difference.
 

Matt Rogers

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Has anyone actually bought this e-book? If so what did you think of it? Just curious.
 

Hanzo

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Yes... it's a good article that will make having conversations easier for lots of guys, my only question is... why does it say seductive in the title? What you posted seems to be conversations in general, not any seductive ways of having them or anything.
As a matter of fact... not once in the whole article do you even use the word seductive besides in the title. I'm just curious, not complaining, lol
 
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